Puns

[asianmom42]

What do you call a melancholy robot? A sighborg.

Use a pun, go to prison......

 

[mnbreastluver]

Technically, it's impossible to skip breakfast. The first time you eat during a day is when you "break your fast."

 

[Eisranac]

Technically, it's impossible to skip breakfast. The first time you eat during a day is when you "break your fast."

Give me a break, as I was a little slow on that one.

Actually, no. I am just egging you on.

 

[done_got_old]

Does a coffee shop have the grounds to operate in the black?

 

[Eisranac]

Does a coffee shop have the grounds to operate in the black?

I would say not usually — unless the owner of the coffee shop was mugged.

 

[done_got_old]

The coffee around here is break fluid.

 

[Eisranac]

The coffee around here is break fluid.

...and so goes yet another transmission of a pun on Literotica.

When will it...stop?!?

 

[done_got_old]

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

 

[done_got_old]

A bad resume is a hire extinguisher.

 

[done_got_old]

http://www.labsolutely.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/orULZfw.jpg

 

[Eisranac]

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

You have got to be kidney-ing me.

Please try to organize how you post these puns alung the way.

A bad resume is a hire extinguisher.

You are fired for posting that one.

http://www.labsolutely.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/orULZfw.jpg

Justin Case is a prominent attorney at the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.

He was trying to become a partner in the law firm; but due to a sick pet, he was unsuccessful because it was ill eagle.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Only one company manufactures the Monopoly game

 

[Eisranac]

Only one company manufactures the Monopoly game

I will take a Chance on this one, but is Monopoly where the idea of the Show us your Community Chests, Lit! thread came from?

 

[done_got_old]

Everybody is the goal of a small-town mortician.

 

[Eisranac]

Everybody is the goal of a small-town mortician.

Who is the goal of a small-town Gomezian?

 

[done_got_old]

The airlines have become so cash-strapped, they charged me for my emotional baggage.

 

[Eisranac]

The airlines have become so cash-strapped, they charged me for my emotional baggage.

Tell them no; ask them where have they bin that they would be grounded in such nonsense...

...and then carry on.

 

[done_got_old]

What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane? A Boeing Constrictor.

 

[done_got_old]

The boardroom vote looked unanimous at first, but quickly became polarized as I put on my sunglasses.

 

[Eisranac]

What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane? A Boeing Constrictor.

That was plane not funny.

Please try winging it a little more.

The boardroom vote looked unanimous at first, but quickly became polarized as I put on my sunglasses.

That is some pretty dark humor there, but I can see wear you are coming from.

 

[done_got_old]

Visitors to Cuba are usually Havana good time.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you remove someone’s liver you are technically delivering them.

 

[Eisranac]

Visitors to Cuba are usually Havana good time.

...and the official slogan for the country is “He that is without sin among you, let him Castro the first stone at her.”

If you remove someone’s liver you are technically delivering them.

Does this action involve using a livery service?

 

[done_got_old]

Two funeral homes invented a marijuana coffin. It was a joint undertaking.

 

[Eisranac]

Two funeral homes invented a marijuana coffin. It was a joint undertaking.

...and they had to cut through the grass to bury it with their first token person.

Reports are that sales have been smokin’ ever since. I can dig it.

I understand they developed a newer model of coffin for scuba divers who enjoyed swimming around coral in the sea. It is their Reefer model.

Plans are in place to create a special version of this coffin specifically for people who are members of Literotica — you know...the ones who Lit one too many...