Canucklehead922
Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2000
- Posts
- 57
A few months ago I finished a novel--erotica, of course. I looked around for several months, trying to sell my creation. However, I found that I had run into a problem. Publishers were wary. With good reason, I suppose, because my manuscript, upon reading, would prove to them to be something other than your ordinary narrative. Rather, it is a piece of Art. The book (about 90,000 words) is different than anything else you've ever read. I'm continuing (somewhat) in the tradition of other Artistic novels. For example, I've heard of a book that was once one entire sentence long, and through clever use of commas, colons and semi-colons, it turned out grammatically correct. I've even seen, with my own eyes, a masterpiece in which there was no punctuation, but merely large spaces between phrases (this one was a novel-length poem). Incredible. Brilliant. And now I have won a spot amongst such genius! For I have sold the manuscript to a small publishing company in Alberta, called Hawthorne & Trobbs. It should be ready and distributed by late June 2001, though that's a tentative date.
Now, I'm sure you all want to know a little more about the book right? First of all, it's written under a pseudonym: William Q. Bronchite, and the title is Kitty Kitty, named after the female character, Catherine, whose pet name is "Kitty". The story concerns Kitty and her boyfriend, soon-to-be fiancée, Sam.
Now, you're probably wondering where exactly the Art is involved here. It's this: From the first to last page, the story is a wonderfully complex sexual encounter, nothing less, nothing more (though there are some very serious philosiphical notions expressed through the use of metaphor.) The book uses a lot of adjectives. The chapters are as following:
1. Passion Meets
2. Quickening of the Beat
3. O, Such a Touch!
4. Skin to Skin
5. At Attention!
6. "--Here Kitty, Kitty."
7. More Wildfire
8. "Ready for More?" She Said
9. Thunderous!
10. Whispery Traces
11. "Oh, Do Be Gentle!"
12. Last Chance
13. With the Dawn Starts a New Life
Now, as is to be expected, I bet you're all dying to read an extract. So, from the first chapter:
"...mingled kisses, their lips locked, the sweet, amorous taste of exquisite passion; those lips, her kitty lips, worked across Sam's taut, smooth cheek, faint traces of his scented aftershave, scented like roses, rose to greet her nose as she nuzzled, licked and bit the hard, muscular body of her lover. Sam's arms wrapped about her small waist, pulling her ever closer, closer, until it seemed as if they were one incredible being whose burgeoning hot lust would seem to overwhelm event the most incredibly lackluster soul, the flaring of flame, bright and high--poof! soaring llike majestic thunder; and yes, she could feel it, running through her body like a tropical hurricane, rolling, gaining power, setting her nerves at the brink of a chasm so deep it causes a ballistic explosion of fierce excitement. Kitty's tongue, Sam's tongue: two pink organs of immense value to the human race, two such as these are never to be ignored, for they carry with them a legacy of epic proportions. It was this frantic mingling within the confines of their cavernous, anxious mouths that brought about the sweetest of human creations: the kiss. For, it is no secret, no mystery of great magnitude that the soul of human life is the kiss, which has been said to be much akin to the elegant sweetness of a cool mountain spring at the height of the spring equinox; or, alternatively, to be the cool refreshing taste of strawberry ice cream. However it has been described--and its descriptions would fill a crater of cosmic size--it is, no doubt, at least, surely, not among those who have partook in its wonders, to be, surely and well, the reason of passioned thought, the cause of life; indeed perhaps it is the act of creation itself! For lo! there is nothing like it. Sam's tongue had continued to trail over Kitty's pale, clear skin, skin so smooth it was like drifting in the eternal pool of serenity. Kitty moaned a female moan as Sam kissed her; ah, to be burned in such a fashion! For, it is only in being burned that one realises what is at stake, and that there is nothing--nothing!--to lose by envelopping onceself in a man or woman's passion.
But they knew--oh! they knew! They knew that the dawn would come, and that their interlude away from all kith and kin, away from the process of marriage, away from the expectations of wedded life--for this was the greatest of nights, wherein there is nothing but passion; duty shall not play a role here! It is so, and so it is. Finally, they sighed, and parted momentarily, and as his lips left hers lo! her first orgasm shook her, spreading through her body like a fueled wildfire...."
I think the genius of my work speaks for itself. You will buy it, won't you? I'm not sure how much of a distribution it'll get (it is a small publishing house after all), but it'll be available in North America for sure.
Now, I'm sure you all want to know a little more about the book right? First of all, it's written under a pseudonym: William Q. Bronchite, and the title is Kitty Kitty, named after the female character, Catherine, whose pet name is "Kitty". The story concerns Kitty and her boyfriend, soon-to-be fiancée, Sam.
Now, you're probably wondering where exactly the Art is involved here. It's this: From the first to last page, the story is a wonderfully complex sexual encounter, nothing less, nothing more (though there are some very serious philosiphical notions expressed through the use of metaphor.) The book uses a lot of adjectives. The chapters are as following:
1. Passion Meets
2. Quickening of the Beat
3. O, Such a Touch!
4. Skin to Skin
5. At Attention!
6. "--Here Kitty, Kitty."
7. More Wildfire
8. "Ready for More?" She Said
9. Thunderous!
10. Whispery Traces
11. "Oh, Do Be Gentle!"
12. Last Chance
13. With the Dawn Starts a New Life
Now, as is to be expected, I bet you're all dying to read an extract. So, from the first chapter:
"...mingled kisses, their lips locked, the sweet, amorous taste of exquisite passion; those lips, her kitty lips, worked across Sam's taut, smooth cheek, faint traces of his scented aftershave, scented like roses, rose to greet her nose as she nuzzled, licked and bit the hard, muscular body of her lover. Sam's arms wrapped about her small waist, pulling her ever closer, closer, until it seemed as if they were one incredible being whose burgeoning hot lust would seem to overwhelm event the most incredibly lackluster soul, the flaring of flame, bright and high--poof! soaring llike majestic thunder; and yes, she could feel it, running through her body like a tropical hurricane, rolling, gaining power, setting her nerves at the brink of a chasm so deep it causes a ballistic explosion of fierce excitement. Kitty's tongue, Sam's tongue: two pink organs of immense value to the human race, two such as these are never to be ignored, for they carry with them a legacy of epic proportions. It was this frantic mingling within the confines of their cavernous, anxious mouths that brought about the sweetest of human creations: the kiss. For, it is no secret, no mystery of great magnitude that the soul of human life is the kiss, which has been said to be much akin to the elegant sweetness of a cool mountain spring at the height of the spring equinox; or, alternatively, to be the cool refreshing taste of strawberry ice cream. However it has been described--and its descriptions would fill a crater of cosmic size--it is, no doubt, at least, surely, not among those who have partook in its wonders, to be, surely and well, the reason of passioned thought, the cause of life; indeed perhaps it is the act of creation itself! For lo! there is nothing like it. Sam's tongue had continued to trail over Kitty's pale, clear skin, skin so smooth it was like drifting in the eternal pool of serenity. Kitty moaned a female moan as Sam kissed her; ah, to be burned in such a fashion! For, it is only in being burned that one realises what is at stake, and that there is nothing--nothing!--to lose by envelopping onceself in a man or woman's passion.
But they knew--oh! they knew! They knew that the dawn would come, and that their interlude away from all kith and kin, away from the process of marriage, away from the expectations of wedded life--for this was the greatest of nights, wherein there is nothing but passion; duty shall not play a role here! It is so, and so it is. Finally, they sighed, and parted momentarily, and as his lips left hers lo! her first orgasm shook her, spreading through her body like a fueled wildfire...."
I think the genius of my work speaks for itself. You will buy it, won't you? I'm not sure how much of a distribution it'll get (it is a small publishing house after all), but it'll be available in North America for sure.
