PsychoTheRapist

[doctordamian]

Hi all, this is my first posting here, I write mostly non-erotic poetry with a few exceptions. I don't have a particular style or subject so hopefully I won't become too predictable. I also write stories, fiction - non-fiction, sexual - non-sexual, anything I feel comfortable with. I look forward to reading you and to posting more of me and hearing any feedback you may have about my writing.

...Psycho:the:rapist...


I'll show you love
make you hate
feed you dirt
until you hurt.

You'll taste the pain
feel the fears
my thirst you'll slake
with all your tears.

I'll peel your skin
strip you bare
expose your soul
without a care.

I'll make you leak
your secrets old
steal your dreams
leave you cold.

You will give
I will take
I'll burrow deep
and see you break.

Your mind will bend
you'll take My shape
you'll give me all
I'll have my rape!


DGMC 25.05.2011​

 

[butters]

welcome to the forum, doctordamian

don't know where else you might have been before this, but i can tell you this poetry section of Lit has some amazingly talented writers. we offer opinions and welcome discussion, and all advice given with a free hand for you to do with as you see fit. courtesy is par for the course, but that's not to say you need agree with anyone else's opinions.

i've been to croydon - the train station's so dinky!

 

[doctordamian]

Hi

Hiya Butters, thanks for your welcome, I look forward to be involved in the forum with you all. Croydon station (East) had a makeover some years back so has changed a fair bit now. Still, not for the better I'm sure

 

[butters]

last time i traveled there was last year - is there more than one station?

about your poem:

this feels like your topic's mind-rape by a less-than-professional psychiatrist. don't know if that was your intent, but it's where you took me; a pillaging of the mind, a forcing of horror in order to get their kicks.

there's only one place that feels forced for the rhyme, and that's 'your secrets old'. perhaps the insertion of a comma might have prevented that, and i like what it says - just reading it, as it stands, it feels shoe-horned into place to serve your rhyme-scheme.

whilst some might not enjoy the more 'tell over show' of this piece, it fits (for me) the idea of a self-interested psychiatrist wielding control over their victim, using 'suggestion' though in an extreme manner. by telling the subject what will be happening, the psych implants their will into the suggestible victim.

what was the inspiration for this one? personal experience, film, general concept?

 

[doctordamian]

Three

Hi Butters, there are three stations, East, West and South. South being the smallest by far.

Appreciate the feedback and you're pretty much bang on the mark really.

Inspiration wise is first hand accounts of experiences suffered by some at the mercy of so called 'therapists'. There are many good ones but always a few bad ones with no consideration for the patient they're entrusted to help!

I'm not a traditional poet, in fact I don't consider myself a poet, just an occasional writer really. I don't stick to any rules or particular form but I do try to keep it tidy,
spelling, grammar, rhyme meter etc...

DD

 

[UnderYourSpell]

The third line of the 2nd stanza sounds forced in just to make the rhyme, is it supposed to look like a phallus?

 

[greenmountaineer]

Hi Butters, there are three stations, East, West and South. South being the smallest by far.

Appreciate the feedback and you're pretty much bang on the mark really.

Inspiration wise is first hand accounts of experiences suffered by some at the mercy of so called 'therapists'. There are many good ones but always a few bad ones with no consideration for the patient they're entrusted to help!

I'm not a traditional poet, in fact I don't consider myself a poet, just an occasional writer really. I don't stick to any rules or particular form but I do try to keep it tidy,
spelling, grammar, rhyme meter etc...

DD

Bingo, Dr. D. I spent a career seeing both, and on the negative side of the ledger, I know of 3 who went to prison because of it.

As to the poem, which I liked, and perhaps because of my preceding comments, I might have added a couple of stanzas at the end in which the narrator justifies himself which, of course, has no justification. I've seen this too, but how how ironic, poetically speaking, that a so-called "expert," who's been trained to see how patients rationalize their behavior, would do the same.

 

[Henchman999]

Hi all, this is my first posting here, I write mostly non-erotic poetry with a few exceptions. I don't have a particular style or subject so hopefully I won't become too predictable. I also write stories, fiction - non-fiction, sexual - non-sexual, anything I feel comfortable with. I look forward to reading you and to posting more of me and hearing any feedback you may have about my writing.

...Psycho:the:rapist...


I'll show you love
make you hate
feed you dirt
until you hurt.

You'll taste the pain
feel the fears
my thirst you'll slake
with all your tears.

I'll peel your skin
strip you bare
expose your soul
without a care.

I'll make you leak
your secrets old
steal your dreams
leave you cold.

You will give
I will take
I'll burrow deep
and see you break.

Your mind will bend
you'll take My shape
you'll give me all
I'll have my rape!


DGMC 25.05.2011​

***

As one who resists the writing of short line blurts
of passion, I give in to my own preference in this
comment (how can one escape manners?).

It seems that short line determinates force the poet
into cliche or into nonsense. A short line doesn't give
the poet much time, so he relies on obvious word
connections.

It's a leering Simon Legree who says,"My rent!
I'll have my rent."

Melodrama.
Silent Movies.

 

[twelveoone]

Hi Butters, there are three stations, East, West and South. South being the smallest by far.

Appreciate the feedback and you're pretty much bang on the mark really.

Inspiration wise is first hand accounts of experiences suffered by some at the mercy of so called 'therapists'. There are many good ones but always a few bad ones with no consideration for the patient they're entrusted to help!

I'm not a traditional poet, in fact I don't consider myself a poet, just an occasional writer really. I don't stick to any rules or particular form but I do try to keep it tidy,
spelling, grammar, rhyme meter etc...

DD

Very nice DD, Hallmarks from Hell.
Reason for first stanza?
I tend to agree with the henchman. in that the first three seem too obvious