Psychology Today: The Rise of Lonely, Single Men

[ToPleaseHim]

“Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as healthy relationship standards increase.”

Name of this article is surprising, but it is fascinating. We certainly see this behavior play out on these forums every single day, evidence of entitled incels who do not understand the landscape. There are many, many good men out there (and here), but the trash loves to play victim when they should be self-reflecting and trying to improve.

 

[FataMorgana]

Burn them, I say.

 

[stickygirl]

Been speaking to an older pal who dated a guy a couple of times. She decided they weren't really compatible and nicely told him, he professed he 'loved her' and badgered her with texts and letters for a month. I told her she got off lightly considering, but I could see she'd been worried where it might end with him being so needy. Men need to toughen up and get a grip of themselves or talk to a mate ffs.

 

[Gentleman27]

“Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as healthy relationship standards increase.”

Name of this article is surprising, but it is fascinating. We certainly see this behavior play out on these forums every single day, evidence of entitled incels who do not understand the landscape. There are many, many good men out there (and here), but the trash loves to play victim when they should be self-reflecting and trying to improve.

I think a lot of men just feel stuck and don't know what to do. Men definitely don't understand the landscape and get mixed messages. Telling men that they need to toughen up, yet also to improve the emotional intelligence doesn't compute. Those thigs are opposite to a lot of men. They don't see the nuances or how they are not mutually exclusive.

Relationships are complex and I think a lot of guys want to simplify them. They want a check list of attributes that they can mark off to guarantee success.

 

[daystate]

I do have a chuckle with dating now.
Gone are the days of walking upto a lady and introducing yourself and then getting to know the lady in question.
With facebook and other apps youve researched them and know all about them.All of the excitement has gone.
So sad.

 

[KatieDoes]

They only have themselves to blame

Any time I (or almost any woman) here attempts to provide a woman’s perspective to relationship challenges, we’re told by multiple men that we’re wrong about what women think and feel. They have all the answers already.

 

[daystate]

They only have themselves to blame

Any time I (or almost any woman) here attempts to provide a woman’s perspective to relationship challenges, we’re told by multiple men that we’re wrong about what women think and feel. They have all the answers already.

Nope...ladies are a delicious enigma.
Even beginning to understand them is a non starter.
Thats part of the game and trust me its a game worth playing.

 

[Gentleman27]

They only have themselves to blame

Any time I (or almost any woman) here attempts to provide a woman’s perspective to relationship challenges, we’re told by multiple men that we’re wrong about what women think and feel. They have all the answers already.

And those are the guys who are not getting laid. Too stupid to get out of their own way.

 

[KatieDoes]

Nope...ladies are a delicious enigma.
Even beginning to understand them is a non starter.
Thats part of the game and trust me its a game worth playing.

Women would be a lot less ‘mysterious’ if men listened to hear and learn more than they listened for a chance to make their own point.

 

[stickygirl]

I think men are uncomfortable living 'in the moment' and like to plan for eventualities or possible outcomes. When a woman doesn't respond in a way they expect, they're totally thrown by it and end up on default mode "Women, huh! Never understand them so why try?" That's kinda the point. Listen, watch, live the moment, feel the air and the warmth of the sun.
That probably sounds like BS but it's not an easy thing to explain. And no #notallmen

 

[daystate]

Women would be a lot less ‘mysterious’ if men listened to hear and learn more than they listened for a chance to make their own point.

listen and learn.

I think men are uncomfortable living 'in the moment' and like to plan for eventualities or possible outcomes. When a woman doesn't respond in a way they expect, they're totally thrown by it and end up on default mode "Women, huh! Never understand them so why try?" That's kinda the point. Listen, watch, live the moment, feel the air and the warmth of the sun.
That probably sounds like BS but it's not an easy thing to explain. And no #notallmen

listen and watch.
Thing is ladies..learning about you is part of the game.Youre all so different.Thats what makes you so interesting and enjoyable.Dont take that as being patronising.Its just the way it is.

 

[stickygirl]

Women would be a lot less ‘mysterious’ if men listened to hear and learn more than they listened for a chance to make their own point.

 

[KatieDoes]

What if women are almost like actual people? Wouldn’t that be wild?!?

 

[daystate]

What if women are almost like actual people? Wouldn’t that be wild?!?

What??Like held families together.Broke sporting records.Raised beautiful children.Had a wild side that they loved to express.Ran countries.Had the respect of other people.Had careers.
Who are these mysterious people?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Imagine being patronizing in a thread like THIS?

 

[KatieDoes]

Imagine being patronizing in a thread like THIS?

Some fuckers are simply unfuckable. Mysteriously.

 

[daystate]

Imagine being patronizing in a thread like THIS?

I know.That would be just so....chauvanistic

 

[daystate]

Some fuckers are simply unfuckable. Mysteriously.

Depends if you press the right buttons.Its not always alcohol or stress.

 

[twister947]

*backs out*

 

[JohnEngelman]

A man will attract a woman on the basis of how attractive he is, how successful he is, and who else she has access to. Because marriage has become less important, more women are willing to have affairs with handsome men who make a lot of money, even though those women know those men will not marry them. This makes it difficult for men in low pay, low prestige jobs to get girl friends and wives. This is the reason for the rise of lonely single men, who are called incels.

 

[KatieDoes]

So many experts on women on this forum. Experts.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

I think a lot of men just feel stuck and don't know what to do. Men definitely don't understand the landscape and get mixed messages. Telling men that they need to toughen up, yet also to improve the emotional intelligence doesn't compute. Those thigs are opposite to a lot of men. They don't see the nuances or how they are not mutually exclusive.

Relationships are complex and I think a lot of guys want to simplify them. They want a check list of attributes that they can mark off to guarantee success.

That is such bullshit.

The landscape hasn't changed. Men now are more likely to get called out for being dicks, that's all. Women are less likely to act like doormats to protect men's egos.

A checklist of attributes? Jesus, there is no guarantee of success. There's no formula. Just be nice. Don't be dicks. Don't rape anyone. It's not fucking rocket science.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

Ha! I know this much; any woman who speaks to me like that in the first 15 probably isn’t going to get more than that from me.

I look for co-conspirators, not opponents.

I doubt women will trouble you much.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

I don’t think anything has changed.

There have always been enough unpleasant bitchy women to go around!

And there have always been entitled male dickheads.
The whole incel thing is scary because theres a whole bunch of guys who feel like they're entitled to sex and women are an obstacle to them getting it.

You call me unpleasant and bitchy because I have an opinion and I'm not afraid to express it but you expect your opinion to be heard and understood.

Where's the parity?

So much male opinion is based on male ideas of how women should be, and not on acknowledging that women may actually have their own ideas about that. Guys who listen more get laid more.

 

[iso36]

You call me unpleasant and bitchy because….

… you are unpleasant and bitchy.