PSA if you are leaving a control or at all abusive relationship

[Noor]

I am sick to death of reading about murders, suicides and murder/suicides.
Many years ago I witnessed someone who had followed their ex spouse from the court house, ran her off the highway and killed her. People tried to stop him, trucks tried to get in his way but he succeeded.
She thought she was free.
One of my friends and her three kids disappeared over 20 hrs ago, the money and papers she set up in a security box at a bank was never touched, she left one phone message saying she was going to a shelter, she used the code we all knew for "call the police," we did, there was a very clean house and cars but no trace of any of them. Their bodies have yet to be found.
One of my best friends mom's died like that, her second husband said she just left. Some hikers found parts of her, hundreds of miles away in desert.

If you are living with someone who is abusive, threatens suicide or anything like that, do not tell them when you are leaving, do not threaten to never let them see the children, just get out of there.
Don't let them know where you are. Communicate through lawyers or at worse email. Take what you can when you leave, lots of people get killed when they return for stuff.
Your life is more important than any stuff. Leave when they are out of the house, like for sure out of the house, when they are in jail is a great time.
I have helped people leave, it's scary, a close friend almost didnt get out.
Don't be nice, don't think if you bring big people with that you and they will be safe.
Okay end of rant.
Also be wary when leaving people who have no other life outside you and your kids.
I know there are people here in this position, I know people from lit who have gotten away.
Don't do it on your own, shelters are there to help.
Okay real end of rant, at least for the moment.

 

[gotsnowgotslush]

It is 2016

It is hard to believe that this is still happening.

Sadly, even Massachusetts cuts services for women in trouble,when the pigs at the trough get upset about not getting MORE for themselves.

But, still, it is better in Massachusetts. than other places on the USA map.

Fuck everything, and save the lives of your children, and your life, so they will still have you.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

It is 2016

It is hard to believe that this is still happening...

Yes, it is still happening.

Abusers isolate their victims, victims feel scared and ashamed and isolate themselves further, nobody outside the family really knows what's going on, and those who do, often don't want to get involved. Too often. Far too often.

Thank you, Noor, for getting involved.

 

[Lancecastor]

When women stick their noses in others relationships, they create discord which sometimes leads to tragedies such as described by Noor.

How many people will Noor kill before she figures out who the real murderer is?

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Jesus Fuck Lance...

 

[Lancecastor]

Jesus Fuck Lance...

I had an escort friend....gorgeous woman, Marky Mark always had her on 24/7 when he shot in Toronto...she had a nosey friend who was always haranguing her into womens shelters to escape the life of prostitution.

What a fucking bitch.

 

[Debbie]

I'm sorry Noor to read about your friend and her kids.


I hope they are safe somewhere. I know it sounds silly when it might be a slim chance under the circumstances. But I mean it.


It's really hard dealing with this subject and for the most part people still find it shameful to talk about.


It's over 20 odd years since I was lucky to get my sons and I out of an abusive relationship and I know how hard and scary it is.

 

[Lancecastor]

Where was Noor???

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Co4cwNVWEAQvIb1.jpg

 

[hashtag45]

Yes, it is still happening.

Abusers isolate their victims, victims feel scared and ashamed and isolate themselves further, nobody outside the family really knows what's going on, and those who do, often don't want to get involved. Too often. Far too often.

Thank you, Noor, for getting involved.

This too.
Plus a lot of abusers are very perceptive too, and know what buttons to push in order to disempower and controll their victim.
One sometimes sees previously strong, independent women who feel totally helpless or even believe that "they brought it on, or they desrve the abuse".

 

[Darbhinder]

This too.
Plus a lot of abusers are very perceptive too, and know what buttons to push in order to disempower and controll their victim.
One sometimes sees previously strong, independent women who feel totally helpless or even believe that "they brought it on, or they desrve the abuse".

You're about as deep as an after school special.

 

[Christobal]

I live in a small town in Florida near Orlando. I had a friend that needed help in a abusive relationship. I was amazed that we had a shelter that provided an incredible amount of services. Legal help, childcare, job training, counseling and long term housing. I live in one of the poorest counties in Florida yet this help was there.

My point is that if you feel you have nowhere to go there may be places you don't even know about so keep looking.

This is not a government program.

 

[RoryN]

But, still, it is better in Massachusetts. than other places on the USA map.

That's probably true.

Still, I remember when that woman went to extend her restraining order against her nuts ex-husband in Northampton. She was so worried he'd hurt her that she made a quick exit from the courthouse towards the police station once she got the order. It was about a half-block away.

She knew he was probably somewhere, planning to hurt her, and she tried to watch out for him. But she didn't see him coming from behind.

He shot her in the head in front of the police station, then shot himself. Broad daylight, middle of town. Both dead. Two kids, orphaned.

 

[Bookishleigh]

I live in a small town in Florida near Orlando. I had a friend that needed help in a abusive relationship. I was amazed that we had a shelter that provided an incredible amount of services. Legal help, childcare, job training, counseling and long term housing. I live in one of the poorest counties in Florida yet this help was there.

My point is that if you feel you have nowhere to go there may be places you don't even know about so keep looking.

This is not a government program.

Having a plan in place beforehand is something we always recommended when I worked as a victim advocate. I often did ride-alongs with officers and I was always amazed at the number of women who recanted once they realized their partner was going to be arrested. I cannot imagine living in so much fear.

 

[Christobal]

Having a plan in place beforehand is something we always recommended when I worked as a victim advocate. I often did ride-alongs with officers and I was always amazed at the number of women who recanted once they realized their partner was going to be arrested. I cannot imagine living in so much fear.

The really sad part is they grew up in abusive conditions and they think somehow they deserve it now. Desperate for any kind of "love".

 

[Lancecastor]

A friend's daughter was at school to become a vet assistant.

She's pretty, with a good figure and big tits.

She found herself a boyfriend online, a young lawyer from a monied family.

A few months later she quit school.

A few months after that, she's preggers, on purpose, to get him to marry her.

He wants her to have an abortion, and he breaks up with her.

She keeps trying to keep him, including threats to report him for abuse.

Who's the victim?

 

[stickygirl]

I am sick to death of reading about murders, suicides and murder/suicides.
~snip~
Don't do it on your own, shelters are there to help.
Okay real end of rant, at least for the moment.

Thanks Noor

 

[jezzilee]

I donate a lot to the shelters in northernbwisconsin...it's so hard for them to keep their doors open. My sister was always in an abusiv3 relationship. I don't know why but she gravitated towards them. Made me realize at a young age what a problem there is out there and that I would not allow myself to get into a situation like that.

Lance start your own thread. What you're talking about is a very real problem as well but Noor started this one and the topic is not one that should be made fun of.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I've seen shelter managers come to work with black eyes.

We aint what you like, but we're who you want.

Bitches cant live without bad asses, and most of the time bitches launch the trouble.

Female scientists did two studies of domestic violence. Guys didn't get involved. It was 100% bitch. What the girls discovered was females launch all the trouble and lead the DV parade in every category but one...when push comes to shove guys kick more ass. But bitches launch it and escalate it till fists fly. Nigger bitches are the worst.

 

[Lancecastor]

Lance start your own thread. What you're talking about is a very real problem as well but Noor started this one and the topic is not one that should be made fun of.

You're being abusive!

 

[bronzeage]

There have been a few times when I was asked to give someone a ride and wait while she collected her stuff. If the boyfriend/husband/PYL is there, he'll be sitting on the couch glaring at me. There was never an actual confrontation. I would stand by the door until she was finished and we left.


Sometimes it's a pointless exercise. They patch things up and the cycle starts all over again. No one has ever asked twice.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

A friend's daughter was at school to become a vet assistant.

She's pretty, with a good figure and big tits.

She found herself a boyfriend online, a young lawyer from a monied family.

A few months later she quit school.

A few months after that, she's preggers, on purpose, to get him to marry her.

He wants her to have an abortion, and he breaks up with her.

She keeps trying to keep him, including threats to report him for abuse.

Who's the victim?

Obviously your mother.

 

[Lancecastor]

Obviously your mother.

You're being abusive!

 

[NOIRTRASH]

My little Ma carried a gun. I collided with my 6-4 daddy and 6-5 brother a few times but none of us had the balls to even roll our eyes at her. I got the gun stuck in my face once, and I heard what she did to fools who whistled at her ass or made rude remarks. My error was guessing she had burned her house to the ground. She did. I'LL BLOW YOUR ASS OFF IF YOU LET IT OUT. She was 5-2 and 105 pounds.

 

[stickygirl]

I've seen shelter managers come to work with black eyes.

We aint what you like, but we're who you want.

Bitches cant live without bad asses, and most of the time bitches launch the trouble.

Female scientists did two studies of domestic violence. Guys didn't get involved. It was 100% bitch. What the girls discovered was females launch all the trouble and lead the DV parade in every category but one...when push comes to shove guys kick more ass. But bitches launch it and escalate it till fists fly. Nigger bitches are the worst.

So what?

This is a thread about getting people ( not just women ) safely out of an abusive and dangerous situation. This isn't about ascribing blame.

 

[stickygirl]

You're being abusive!

Are you gonna leave then?