PRUNING SAW, things not to do with one, #1 in a series

[shereads]

Slice open finger while cutting heliconias.





If you have valuable knowledge gleaned from personal experience, and would like to share it with other don't-do-it-yourselfers, share it here after you've staunched the bleeding to a slow trickle.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

#2: Hammer. Do not try to drive a nail, kick the cat out from under your feet and turn your head because the phone is ringing. Shoul dyou do so it only hurts for about a month and bright nail polish will cover the ugliest of the brusing.

-Colly

 

[Guest]

Have only cut myself with a paring knife, hit my fingers with a hammer, and received numerous papercuts. But today I have two long red scratches just above my left breast from giving Petya his antibiotics and pain meds. Next time I won't wear a low cut tee. (Aw, he's still worth it though.)

Perdita

 

[shereads]

Have only cut myself with a paring knife, hit my fingers with a hammer, and received numerous papercuts. But today I have two long red scratches just above my left breast from giving Petya his antibiotics and pain meds. Next time I won't wear a low cut tee. (Aw, he's still worth it though.)

Perdita

I've been there. My dog turns into six dogs and a rabid weasel when she has to be given ear drops.

 

[rgraham666]

When handling anything with a blade, cut outwards, away from yourself.

Or even just when drying things, having cut myself between thumb and forefinger drying a very sharp steak knife.

 

[Guest]

a good idea

i found out the hard way just a couple days ago....
when trimming the hedges.. and using an electric trimmer.. do not.. cut in the direction of the electrical cord..
those cords are 'spensive! and its scary when the sparks fly!

wearily verily
vella

 

[minsue]

I've been there. My dog turns into six dogs and a rabid weasel when she has to be given ear drops.

Every few weeks we had to take the dog to the vet to have her toenails trimmed. A simple job, you'd think. I'd done it a million times with other dogs.

We couldn't make the appointment on Saturdays, because they were only open half days and were extremely busy. We also were asked to make the appointment either their first or last appointment of the day. Why? Because they couldn't have other appointments going at the same time because it took every single employee (usually 6) to trim my dog's nails. She had a thing about touching her feet...

 

[Wildcard Ky]

Chainsaw running full speed into the left hand is a bummer too. It was a bad scene all the way around.

It was about 5% me doing something stupid, and 95% Murphy's law. Here's the short version:

I was about 20 miles from town last August 30th. (Out in the middle of nowhere) Had been working in the woods most of the day. I was by myself, and didn't have the cell phone with me. Chainsaw digs into left hand at the base of my thumb. The thumb is still attached, but it's a mess.

I quickly wrap it up with my shirt and spend about 5 minutes calming myself down so I can be in mental shape to drive myself to the hospital.

Once I'm in the right frame of mind, I get in my truck and drive 20 miles back to town and the hospital. I calmly walk into the emergency room in work boots, long pants and no shirt. The nurse asks if she can help me. I calmly say "Can I have a gown please?" Then I say "I've cut my hand."

Judging by my demeanor she thinks it musn't be a serious injury. She gets me a gown and takes me to an examining room. Then she unwraps my shirt from my hand. When she saw the wound, he face went pale, and she said "Oh my God". She then thought I must have been in shock because I was so calm. She started trying to treat me for shock as well as the injury. I kept telling her I wasn't in shock, but she wouldn't listen. I wound up getting mad at her because she wouldn't listen to me about the shock and said a few smart alec things to her.

Well she showed me who was the boss. She gave me a big assed shot of Demorol, and I'm not sure what exactly happened after that. LOL.

My hand was damaged badly enough that they had to send me to a hospital in Louisville. I don't remember going to Louisville, but I remember realizing I was there sometime after the fact.

Spent a long time in surgery. Cut all the nerves and tendons going into the thumb, and removed quite a bit of bone, though not all of it. Spent the next three months in a cast.

The thumb functions normally now, though the sense of feeling is really messed up from the nerve damage. They say it will never be normal again. Oh well, I consider myself lucky to still have a thumb.

 

[Alex De Kok]

After retrieving something from the under-bench refrigerator, don't stand up under the upper cupboard door you forgot to close.

This advice is particularly pertinent if you are follically-challenged, like wot I am.

Alex

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

If you have any really good stories, they should be submitted for a Darwin Award.

The Darwin Awards honor those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

Of necessity, this honor is bestowed posthumously.



The 2001 Darwin Award Nominee
Blown Away
Confirmed True by Darwin


(16 July, 2001, United States) An assistant plant manager for Blacklidge Emulsions died when he used an acetylene torch to cut a hole in a 10,000 gallon tank of asphalt emulsion. He was attempting to visually survey the amount of emulsion that remained in the tank, but "no safety precautions were taken before the cutting operation began," stated an OSHA representative. "[His] attention was twice called to a warning sign on the side of the structure which stated the contents were combustible. In complete disregard of safety procedures," the erstwhile manager "lit an acetylene torch and began cutting, causing an explosion that blew him 93 feet away.

 

[SeaCat]

Two helpfull hints:
A) Do not charge car betteries in enclosed spaces.
B) Do not clean machine parts in Gasoline. (Ptrol for you brits.) Or, if you do, do not attempt to remove rust or other debri with a steel wire brush. (A Brass brush is all right though.)

A) Found parts of the shed in my neighbors yard the next day.

B) Had to regrow Hair, Mustache, Beard and EyeBrows.

Cat

 

[Guest]

LOL
its a good idea not to smoke cigies when filling the tank..

also.. please keep this tid bit handy..
ALWAYS wash your hands after handling chili peppers.. disaster may strike if you forget and touch.. southern regions.. no amount of aloe vera will help you.

 

[Guest]

Chili oil residue on eyes is just as bad. Aye, aye aye! P.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

(1) When you’re holding a beaker full of boiling ethanol up to the light to see of all the solids have dissolved, don’t tip the beaker so far that you pour the boiling solvent down your arm.

(2) That business about a dull knife being more dangerous than a sharp one? It’s not true.

---dr.Z.

 

[SeaCat]

LOL
its a good idea not to smoke cigies when filling the tank..

also.. please keep this tid bit handy..
ALWAYS wash your hands after handling chili peppers.. disaster may strike if you forget and touch.. southern regions.. no amount of aloe vera will help you.

Been there, did that dance.
Another good one, do not try to give cooling erotic massages with Alchohol.
And another, do not carry a zippo in your pants pocket when flying.

Cat

 

[shereads]

Chainsaw running full speed into the left hand is a bummer too. It was a bad scene all the way around.

It was about 5% me doing something stupid, and 95% Murphy's law. Here's the short version:

I was about 20 miles from town last August 30th. (Out in the middle of nowhere) Had been working in the woods most of the day. I was by myself, and didn't have the cell phone with me. Chainsaw digs into left hand at the base of my thumb. The thumb is still attached, but it's a mess.

I quickly wrap it up with my shirt and spend about 5 minutes calming myself down so I can be in mental shape to drive myself to the hospital.

Once I'm in the right frame of mind, I get in my truck and drive 20 miles back to town and the hospital. I calmly walk into the emergency room in work boots, long pants and no shirt. The nurse asks if she can help me. I calmly say "Can I have a gown please?" Then I say "I've cut my hand."

Judging by my demeanor she thinks it musn't be a serious injury. She gets me a gown and takes me to an examining room. Then she unwraps my shirt from my hand. When she saw the wound, he face went pale, and she said "Oh my God". She then thought I must have been in shock because I was so calm. She started trying to treat me for shock as well as the injury. I kept telling her I wasn't in shock, but she wouldn't listen. I wound up getting mad at her because she wouldn't listen to me about the shock and said a few smart alec things to her.

Well she showed me who was the boss. She gave me a big assed shot of Demorol, and I'm not sure what exactly happened after that. LOL.

My hand was damaged badly enough that they had to send me to a hospital in Louisville. I don't remember going to Louisville, but I remember realizing I was there sometime after the fact.

Spent a long time in surgery. Cut all the nerves and tendons going into the thumb, and removed quite a bit of bone, though not all of it. Spent the next three months in a cast.

The thumb functions normally now, though the sense of feeling is really messed up from the nerve damage. They say it will never be normal again. Oh well, I consider myself lucky to still have a thumb.

So regarding chain saws, what's your new rule of thumb?

 

[shereads]

When handling anything with a blade, cut outwards, away from yourself.

Or even just when drying things, having cut myself between thumb and forefinger drying a very sharp steak knife.

Have you ever used a steak knife to open one of those #@!&$ clear plastic dome-things that so many small useful items are packaged in? It's not as good an idea as you might think.

Minsue, I think you should take pictures of your dog's next pedicure. Six people? Whoa.

 

[shereads]

Been there, did that dance.
Another good one, do not try to give cooling erotic massages with Alchohol.
And another, do not carry a zippo in your pants pocket when flying.

Cat

Please explain about the zippo.



Also: don't ever chop fresh jalapeno peppers, not for any reason. You will wash your hands before you rub your eyes, but it won't matter.

 

[SeaCat]

So regarding chain saws, what's your new rule of thumb?

Ouch, I saw that one coming.

Cat

 

[shereads]

When you’re holding a beaker full of boiling ethanol up to the light to see of all the solids have dissolved, don’t tip the beaker so far that you pour the boiling solvent down your arm.

Why am I boiling the ethanol? To soften Minsue's dog's toenails?

 

[shereads]

Ouch, I saw that one coming.

Cat

Did not.

 

[shereads]

Two helpfull hints:
A) Do not charge car betteries in enclosed spaces.
B) Do not clean machine parts in Gasoline. (Ptrol for you brits.) Or, if you do, do not attempt to remove rust or other debri with a steel wire brush. (A Brass brush is all right though.)

A) Found parts of the shed in my neighbors yard the next day.

B) Had to regrow Hair, Mustache, Beard and EyeBrows.

Cat

You got into a lot of trouble as a child, didn't you, Cat?

 

[cantdog]

On an ambulance you see a lot of Darwinish stuff, but then you go home and do something stupid anyway.

My first use of the hedge trimmer cut the cord.

I cook all the time and I've learned to keep bandages very handy.

We made a new rule about dishes in the sink. Two sinks, a double-banger, in the kitchen, both filled with stuff left to soak from making a cheesecake, when suddenly I burn myself again. I go to plunge the hand into cool water, but I have to clear the sink first! Ow, shit, ow fuck, oww! Oh, Christ! We leave at least one open now.

Steak knives. The little bastards are sharp and they come in groups when you have to clean 'em.

Chain saws are incredibly fast cutting anything but the wood you want them to. I've only nicked myself, but the feeling when you look at the wrecked clothing and the blood welling up is black panic of the worst order.

Oh, hell, I'm fifty, I've done a lot of this sort of thing. And yet, I am a genius. I have papers. They tested for it and I came up positive. It only makes it more ironic.

cantdog

 

[Xelebes]

Axes and cutting down trees do not mix without steel-toed boots. Let this be a lesson. I lost a good pair of shoes and got a nice scar from that.

 

[cantdog]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay!