Progression of kink over time

[FloggingMolly]

Have you become more or less kinky with age? Have you become more intensely dominant or submissive? Do you think that change is connected to physical aging, more life experiences, circumstances?

 

[saintcero]

The kink; it grows. Life experience and circumstance would drive it as would simple boredom.

 

[Farawyn]

I don't have time to answer this now, but I was recently talking to a few GFs about this.
Great topic.


Short answer. I've become moreso.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[_Necrosomantic_]

Neither less or more, I've always been this way, only real difference is refinement and clarity. I no longer wonder what I'm capable of or what my limits are, they are clearly defined to me. That being the case, the only exploring I need do now, is of hers.

As for being more or less dominant, that question doesn't make sense to me. If you're asking me if I've gotten lazy or am lacking former enthusiasm in my relationship, that is a resounding no. I'm still as bold, regnant, and hungry as I've always been. I have what I want, and I don't get tired.

 

[trplayer]

When you're young sex is exciting. As you grow older the heat of sex starts to cool so we look for ways to bring the heat and excitement back.
Its like going on vacation to the same place staying in same room doing the same things everytime. After awhile you grow tired of it. In order to make it exciting again you go somewhere else and do different things.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[_Necrosomantic_]

I think knowing who you are must be a satisfying feeling. I think I know more some of what I am not.

They are not mutually exclusive, they are the same thing, it's just a manner of perspective. What we aren't brings us closer to a clear picture of what we are, " know thyself ", pretentious entry level collage philosophy quote #32, you get the idea

Honestly,

I would not want to be the same sexual identity as I was twenty years ago, but I am not regretful of that time at all; it just would not be for me now; just as being how I am now would have been emotionally impossible then. I don't see one as Better than other, just right for the me I have been at different times. I do however envy the ...solidity and security... that must come with knowing so clearly who you are.

Imo, most people emphasize the word " change " to often. Change is to become something else, different, starting over. Evolving is to become a more complex version of what you originally were, to advance while still retaining your core. Growth is not change, it's evolution. I'm wasn't saying that I am the same person I used to be ( sexually or otherwise ), rather that I have only grown into what I was always meant to be. Hence the terms " refinement and clarity ". I've always had these inclinations, I just needed to flesh them out, gain that experience, put in the time required to figure out what I needed to come closer to being what I am. What you see as changes in yourself as a direct result of decisions/experiences/milestones in your life, I view as the necessary stimuli required to chip away at the uncertainties that stifled the person I've always been. Perspective.

As for solidity and security, yes, but it's a double edged sword. Meaning, when I fuck up or drop the ball with myself or the things I hold dear, there are no excuses.

 

[Primalex]

Have you become more or less kinky with age?

Hm.

I think this fluctuates without a general trend in one direction or the other. I pay more attention to avoid activities that would lead to criminal prosecution.

Have you become more intensely dominant or submissive?

Hm.

Yes and no. The experience over time lead to more refined methods and other improvements. I still don't have the desire to micromanage someone.

Do you think that change is connected to physical aging, more life experiences, circumstances?

I don't think that any change of me is caused by physical aging itself, except that my back hurts earlier. Actually, the opposite is true - I'm more concerned that my self has not changed as much as I thought it would.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I was in my 30's when I really discovered kink and I've changed with each partner. Trying new things led to discovering more interests and limits. The man I'm with now, a man I'd like to be with for a long long time, is kinky and dominant, but much less experienced than my previous partners. He's also not a sadist. He's really really good with some rope.

These are good things for me. We are learning together, occasionally going deeper and darker. I'm not a masochist, so my need to please/fear of disappointing my PYL doesn't have to wrestle with that side of me.

So, to answer the OP, I've changed. I expect to only get more kinky though, not less.

 

[DemiAngora]

In my opinion age is irrevelant. It all depends on your current partner. If he is into latex, in no time I will dress like Kate Beckinsale from the Underworld. I would do anything to please him as long as he does the same.

 

[tinglebliss]

Have you become more or less kinky with age? Have you become more intensely dominant or submissive? Do you think that change is connected to physical aging, more life experiences, circumstances?

I'm not sure whether I've become more kinky with age. I've only become knowledgeable about BDSM over the last few years. It's a new phase of my life to explore it. I have more life experience under my belt, I've had fun with the vanilla stuff and now I'm looking for something more. MF and I have started to learn new things about each other and MF has been finding out things about me that he never even thought were there.

 

[BiBunny]

I wouldn't say I'm less kinky, just that I've developed a sense of self-preservation that I have not always had.

I've become more intensely switchy. Does that count?

I think the changes are mostly due to life experiences, circumstances, and, you know, not being completely nuts anymore. I've been doing this since I was 18. I'm 33 now. I'm fairly young to have been into this stuff for about 15 years, so I think I have a unique perspective compared to most people around my age.

Crap, I was going somewhere with that, but I lost it. Sorry about that.

 

[clistenovena]

I wouldn't say I'm less kinky, just that I've developed a sense of self-preservation that I have not always had.

Yep. This statement above. Exactly that. And articulated in a way that resonates.

The way I see the answers to the OP's questions is this- over time, I've accepted, acknowledged, and/or recognized aspects of myself and my sexuality that are authentic for me. These aspects have been in conflict with the agreed upon statement identified above, which can be problematic if it comes right down to it. Which it does. Or doesn't.

Evolving, the word another post-er used, is how I view the scene.

 

[cookiecat]

Have you become more or less kinky with age?

More. Alice falling down the rabbit hole, slippery slope and all that. Putting clothespins on my nipples used to feel so daring. Now I need to add weights, be standing in a corner, nose to wall with my ass plugged to get that same level of daring.

I'm more open to exploring and feel more comfortable voicing my desires. I like picking up the rock and seeing what creepy, crawly things lie underneath. I used to feel shameful for some of these dark thoughts. Now, I still feel shameful but I like being with someone who wants to poke around and use that in our relationship.

Have you become more intensely dominant or submissive?

More. I discovered bdsm at 40. I'm 55 now. In that time, I've come to understand submission - for me - is about service. I've tried to incorporate the idea of service in to all aspects of my day to day life, not just sex or toward my sexual partner. Whether it's oral servitude with my partner or putting a friend's needs in front of mine, it's all in the name of service and I like that side of myself. It's also acknowledging a more thoughtful, feminine part of myself. A part of me I've had to cultivate because it didn't come naturally. I like it.

Do you think that change is connected to physical aging, more life experiences, circumstances?

All of the above. Although I miss some of the young, stupid naivete I had about bdsm, I do feel more comfortable in my own skin. I can express my desires more thoughtfully. I learned submissive does not mean I can't say what I want. We learn a lot along the way - what we like, what doesn't work, right?

Along with life experiences giving me more confidence and wisdom, it also throws a lot of wrenches in the plan. Dealing with the shit life hands you gets in the way of continued D/s exploration. Dammit! Plus, having to work harder at bending over and grabbing my ankles or spending a lot of time on my knees. Yikes! My body doesn't keep up with my brain.

 

[Iamsubmissive]

Have you become more or less kinky with age? Have you become more intensely dominant or submissive? Do you think that change is connected to physical aging, more life experiences, circumstances?

From a chronological view it might appear that I've gotten kinkier over time but that wouldn't really be accurate. I've always had the same level of kinky desires inside me, just came across more and more opportunities to express and experience them.

Same answer as above for my 'submissiveness'.

So not really any 'changes' to report. I'm definitely more experienced, more knowledgeable about certain kinks. Sometimes more cautious...sometimes more willing, depending on my partner or circumstances, but I'm still the same kinky me. And I don't expect that to change in the future, other than normal limitations associated with aging.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Have you become more or less kinky with age? Have you become more intensely dominant or submissive? Do you think that change is connected to physical aging, more life experiences, circumstances?

I don't think I've become significantly more/less kinky, but I'm not doing the kinky stuff as much as I used to, because life and my partner's health get in the way more often than they did.

 

[RuneBlade]

I don't know that my kink has progressed over time. I still like most of the same things I did years ago. I have explored them more during that time, to be sure. But I don't feel that I've built a sort of tolerance to kink, in that I need sex to be kinkier to get the same enjoyment out of it, like might happen with a drug.

Having said all that, there's some stuff I haven't explored as much as I want to for one reason or another, and there's always room for exploration and growth.

 

[HisArpy]

I don't think I'm more or less. I know I've slowed down a lot but the desire is always there. Some physical things used to be easy and we don't do them anymore. Now we substitute other things which aren't so challenging or demanding.

It's also harder to keep the physical conditioning up. We also had to learn to pay attention to heart / breathing rates and physical bending/stretching limits more than we used to when young.

 

[Porkwarrior]

Have you become more or less kinky with age? Have you become more intensely dominant or submissive? Do you think that change is connected to physical aging, more life experiences, circumstances?

My 20's I would role play and fuck a woman with a knife to her throat.

My 30's were spent married to woman whose idea of risque sex was leaving the lights on.

My 40's started with a round of debauchery

 

[FloggingMolly]

Thank you for all the interesting responses!