Procreation Without Temptation?

[shereads]

If sex is only for procreation, why is it so much fun? For procreation, there are less compelling ways to accomplish the donation of some semen. Fish, for example. They don't even have to meet in person to make babies. It's like sneezing. Consequently, fish sex happens no more often than necessary to replace the Catch of the Day. You don't see a lot of pre-adolescent fish prancing around in crop tops with bellybutton rings.

I posted this at another thread, but to avoid a threadjack, I'll move it here and ask:

What is the least arousing sex act in the animal kingdom, other than copulation between a 97-year-old human male and Anna Nicole Smith?

I say it's fish. She releases some eggs into the water, he ejaculates in the vicinity, and they're both relieved to have procreation out of the way so they can focus on the real excitement: eating and not being eaten.

 

[Somme]

Well...<scratches 'ead>.......that says it all, really, dunnit?

 

[shereads]

Well...<scratches 'ead>.......that says it all, really, dunnit?

Surely you can google up some disgusting animal sex. Nothing that won't be deemed arousing by one or two people, but if it makes them happy, so much the better.

Cats for example. From a female point of view, it can't be fun. There are cat gang rapes on the deck outside my bedroom some nights that sound like a Victorian insane asylum.

 

[rgraham666]

Plants. They can't even get together.

They usually have to have some insect do the work for them.

In fact, there's an orchid in Spain that looks and smells like a female wasp. The males of said species of wasp hatch several weeks before the females. They then spend that time humping orchids and pollinating them.

Mother Nature has a weird sense of humour.

 

[shereads]

Plants. They can't even get together.

They usually have to have some insect do the work for them.

In fact, there's an orchid in Spain that looks and smells like a female wasp. The males of said species of wasp hatch several weeks before the females. They then spend that time humping orchids and pollinating them.

Mother Nature has a weird sense of humour.

So that's why orchids look like they're asking for it.

Edited to add: There's a plant at our local botanical garden that is pollenated by flies. Its nickname is Old Stinky. The smell is said to be exactly like decaying meat. People lined up at the greenhouse to see and smell Old Stinky when it came into bloom two years ago. Go figure. Maybe they were there because it looks like a giant, four-foot tall phallus.

 

[rgraham666]

So that's why orchids look like they're asking for it.

It's why I never use the line, "You're as lovely as an orchid' when I'm chatting some beautiful lady up.

 

[Liar]

So that's why orchids look like they're asking for it.

They are asking for it. The sluts.

 

[TheEarl]

In fact, there's an orchid in Spain that looks and smells like a female wasp. The males of said species of wasp hatch several weeks before the females. They then spend that time humping orchids and pollinating them.

Sounds like teenagers. The blokes want to have the sex, but the women just aren't there. Ergo, inflatable sheep!

Please, if you have done it with an inflatable sheep, don't tell me. I scare easily.

The Earl

 

[minsue]

Sounds like teenagers. The blokes want to have the sex, but the women just aren't there. Ergo, inflatable sheep!

Please, if you have done it with an inflatable sheep, don't tell me. I scare easily.

The Earl

What if the sheep was asking for it?

 

[cheerful_deviant]

What if the sheep was asking for it?

*BAAAAAAAA*

 

[shereads]

Sounds like teenagers. The blokes want to have the sex, but the women just aren't there. Ergo, inflatable sheep!

Please, if you have done it with an inflatable sheep, don't tell me. I scare easily.

The Earl

If the sheep was inflatable, it's 75% less creepy than the alternative.

 

[shereads]

What if the sheep was asking for it?

That sounds like something a ram would say. She just came from the sheering shed, min. It's not like she wanted to walk around naked.

 

[minsue]

That sounds like something a ram would say. She just came from the sheering shed, min. It's not like she wanted to walk around naked.

Do you have any idea how many times she's gone and gotten shorn lately? Tramp.

 

[NoJo]

Yeast doesn't do it at all. It just clones. It's like the ultimate onanism. I must give it a try.

 

[shereads]

Yeast doesn't do it at all. It just clones. It's like the ultimate onanism. I must give it a try.

Like Mr. Burns on the Simpsons? And H. Ross Perot?

 

[rgraham666]

Like Mr. Burns on the Simpsons? And H. Ross Perot?

Neither of those people rates as high as yeast, in my opinion.

And aren't the both they both fictional characters?

 

[3 Legged Donkey]

Surely you can google up some disgusting animal sex. Nothing that won't be deemed arousing by one or two people, but if it makes them happy, so much the better.

Cats for example. From a female point of view, it can't be fun. There are cat gang rapes on the deck outside my bedroom some nights that sound like a Victorian insane asylum.

Yes, I feel for them pussies... the males have small barbs in their dicks. Ok I'll admit it, some fetishists might get off on it not that I'm one of course. I always have problems with sex, being a three legged donkey and all. I have to lean against the fence and that gives me splinters.

 

[rgraham666]

Surely you can google up some disgusting animal sex. Nothing that won't be deemed arousing by one or two people, but if it makes them happy, so much the better.

Cats for example. From a female point of view, it can't be fun. There are cat gang rapes on the deck outside my bedroom some nights that sound like a Victorian insane asylum.

There are praying mantises, where the males can't ejaculate until the female bites their heads off.

Female spiders often make a meal of their mates. It's where they get the protein to manufacture their eggs.

Male bees literally ejaculate explosively. Leave their reproductive organs in the queen, fall to the ground, flop around for a bit and die.

And there is a genus of mites, where the sex isn't fatal but the results are. The young are born alive inside their mother and eat her.

And we humans think we have it tough.

 

[NoJo]

Yes, I feel for them pussies... the males have small barbs in their dicks. Ok I'll admit it, some fetishists might get off on it not that I'm one of course. I always have problems with sex, being a three legged donkey and all. I have to lean against the fence and that gives me splinters.

Foxes make a sound similiar to that of babies being tortured. And no, that's just a guess.

 

[NoJo]

There are praying mantises, where the males can't ejaculate until the female bites their heads off.

Female spiders often make a meal of their mates. It's where they get the protein to manufacture their eggs.

Male bees literally ejaculate explosively. Leave their reproductive organs in the queen, fall to the ground, flop around for a bit and die.

And there is a genus of mites, where the sex isn't fatal but the results are. The young are born alive inside their mother and eat her.

And we humans think we have it tough.

When I die, that's how I want to go.

 

[3 Legged Donkey]

Foxes make a sound similiar to that of babies being tortured. And no, that's just a guess.

I'm so relieved you added that disclaimer on the end, otherwise I would have been concerned.

 

[shereads]

I always have problems with sex, being a three legged donkey and all. I have to lean against the fence and that gives me splinters.

Have you tried asking someone with opposable thumbs to sand the fence post?

 

[3 Legged Donkey]

Have you tried asking someone with opposable thumbs to sand the fence post?

Yes I did once, but Charlie the Chimp gave me the finger. I was too afraid to ask again.

 

[NoJo]

I'd love to watch you typing these posts with your hooves. Do you have a webcam?

 

[minsue]

I'd love to watch you typing these posts with your hooves. Do you have a webcam?

Shanglan and the Alpaca turn you down?