Problems you have dealed with in your relationships..

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Hm..I mostly made this to get an opinion on how I should advise a friend on mine on an issue, but I'd also like to share problems that are probable to occur in a relationship(and maybe how you dealt with them..).

Anyway, the other day, my cousin started saying that he has a problem with his girlfriend.They had a lot of sex(every day), but gradually she stopped wanting too much of it.While me and him find it somewhat weird, at some point we can understand it.
So he talked about it with her and she said that because she had two more lovers before him, she got a LOT(and I mean a LOT) of sex.
So my cousin asked her if she had more sex with the others and if someone was better than him(sure it's natural to have these in your mind, but I think it's not something you should make a serious conversation about..).
She said that she had as much sex with her previous b/f as she has with my cousin.Maybe even more(this is where my cousin was deeply hurt ).
She also said he was the best, as he was the one she loved(he doubted her a little, but then he believed her).

But now he realises that this relationship is really serious(I made him realise that ) and he thinks that he hasn't lived what he wanted to.I told him having a person that loves you and that you love means more than going around fucking.And I told him that if he wanted to do something he should talk with his g/f.
Then he told me that he wanted to go with another woman, I said that it would be unfair, he said she'd never know, I said you never know and that he'd also feel guilt about it and then he just shut up as he knew I was right.
But he asked me what he should do..to liven up his sex life..
Lol!ME!A sexless person!!anyway, I said that if he wanted he should try talking about threesome so that his desire to go with another woman would be also fulfilled, but he said no.Close-minded Greeks..

Now I don't know what to say to him..*large sweatdrop*
Long post huh?
I hope this doesn't remain a thread with no replies ^_^'

 

[Queersetti]

I am a little confused as to what exactly his concern is. It sounds like he may feel intimidated because his girlfriend has more sexual experience than he has, or it may be that he just doesn't feel ready to settle down to a committed relationship. I suspect he isn't sure himself.

In either regard, I think the default position should be to not commit to a relationship if you are less than whole heartedly eager to do so. If he remains in this relationship, with these doubts in his mind, it's likely that they will fester and grow more bothersome to him over time.

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Hmm..I pretty much made it clear to him that unlike his previous relationships this one is serious.
He always said that, but he told me that he didn't fully understand it until I made it clear to him through his insecurity.
I think you found exactly the problem..
He IS intimidated, and he DOES need more time.
The thing is he LOVES her..
He says so, and even if at first I didn't believe him, I have come to a conclusion that he does.(well I still have minor doubts..)
Probably if this relationship lasts about five years they'll get married..

But I hadn't thought of the last part of your post..
It never crossed my mind that this would also affect him gradually.

I really don't know what to say to him.
I think he is overreacting, but at some point he is right too..
I hate it when hard dilemmas occur..

Hmmm..now about the thread..
My exgirlfriend..hmm..She was weird..I talked her into breaking up with me because I didn't want to hurt her.Talk about kindness
The girl was really not that bright..
I said that I wanted to try a relationship with her, she said yes, and when she saw me smiling, she said:"Yes, but only till you walk me home!"
I wanted to slap her brains out..

 

[LoboBoy]

Your friend's answer is not a three-way. Cheating on his GF is not the answer either.

I have just realised recently that sex or a reduction of sex in the relationship is rarely "about" sex or sex issues. It's more likely there is something else, some kind of stress in their lives or at least in her life, that has her mind on other things....making her less inclined to be giving in to sexual abandon as much as before.

They should sit down and talk about their lives, relationship and where they are headed...he might be surprised to find there is a range of things that are impacting on their sex life.

I seriously doubt it has anything to do with "how good" he is.

I have been where your friend is and was obsessed with making sex better, trying to encourage it more etc to make everything ok...the trouble is, sex is often just a barometer...an indicator of the health of the relationship...until they get to the bottom of that...nothing will change.

Fucking other people on the side will just add to the issues. Not to mention it's a shitty thing to do to someone you supposedly love.