Problem with masturbating

[latebloomer124]

But when it concerns masturbation when you are alone...? Why would you feel funny to try things that might work for you? No one is watching, no one is there to judge you or what you're doing... Just try everything and allow yourself to enjoy what you're feeling, even if you think the ways to achieve nice feelings or even orgasms are a bit strange....

I'm not worried that it's strange when I'm alone, but I feel that relying on this method has "stunted" my growth, in a way. I started doing this as a very young girl and I'm many decades older now, so I feel it's "immature." It's always been a sure thing, however, so I've been doing it exclusively. The first time my man tried to give me an orgasm with his hand, I was certain it wouldn't work (I had never had any success with it), but with patience and a great deal of skill, he did succeed, although it did take a long time. I was inspired to try this again for myself. It works very well once in awhile, but isn't consistent and usually takes a very long time--sometimes over an hour-- for me to do it alone. Thank goodness it never takes him quite that long, but we have gone for about 30 minutes at times. I want to be able to come more quickly for him, so I continue to practice. Althought the pillow method does work, it's something that a man really can't participate in, so I'm trying to get better at orgasming with manual manipulation.

 

[Morpheus1981]

lol sure thing, baby...now, where do you want me to tie the knot

hmmm...good question baby...i was thinking of a place...damn...it was just on the tip of my tongue...

 

[Sarini]

Do you have a shower attachment? That feels wonderful on your clit, and you can adjust the pressure, etc. If you don't have a shower attachment, you can actuall lay in your bathtub and let the water from the faucet run down onto your clit while you fantasize and play with your breasts or whatever.

Seconded! Mr. Showerhead is a very, very good friend to have. :-D (Oh, and you can always try to angle to get a detachable showerhead at home - it's for washing your hair over the edge of the tub and shaving your legs out-of-shower without needing a cup.... right? *grin*)

But what is strange....? Ask any emergency doctor from any hospital what they 'find' and have to 'retrieve' time and time again in and from people's vagina's and rectums and I'll assure you you will all of a sudden feel VERY normal.

And on this note, I have a great story... A friend of mine is pre-med, so he picks up a lot of these 'emergency doctor' stories. You've heard of the (very unlikely) possibility of a woman's muscles clamping up so that the guy gets 'stuck', right? Well apparently there was one poor sap who had a bad experience with a sheep's muscles doing the same. He had to walk into the emergency room with his pants around his ankles (figuratively, I'm sure he actually took them off) and carrying a sheep in front of him... attached.

...

And now back to the actual thread... Have you tried lying on your stomach with your hands under you? I have trouble getting myself there with my hand coming down from above, as it were. I think it's a lack of pressure. But face-down on a bed, preferably with both hands stacked under you, and then basically treat your hands as a pillow, at least at first. Once you adjust to that and see how much pressure it actually takes (once turned on, at least), you might be able to progress from there to a more... standard?... angle.

 

[gypsy4191]

Have you tried lying on your stomach with your hands under you? I have trouble getting myself there with my hand coming down from above, as it were. I think it's a lack of pressure. But face-down on a bed, preferably with both hands stacked under you, and then basically treat your hands as a pillow, at least at first. Once you adjust to that and see how much pressure it actually takes (once turned on, at least), you might be able to progress from there to a more... standard?... angle.

I find this to work VERY well, i still get the humping motion, but more pressure is applied to my actual clit, which feels very good.
But that's just me, everyone is different and everyone gets off in different ways, and anyway that you use to get yourself off is normal or natural, hey if it wasn't you wouldn't be able to do it would you?!

 

[Valley Lilly]

I've tried "riding the pillow" before. Doesn't works for me, so ido it in the traditional way.

And now back to the actual thread... Have you tried lying on your stomach with your hands under you?

My orgasm is better when i do it in that way.

 

[latebloomer124]

Okay, I'm back and still have questions. I've been trying to masturbate the "traditional way" for weeks now and have had no success whatsoever. For awhile, it would take a long time but I would eventually have an orgasm. Now, I can go for an hour and a half, get sort of close, almost peak, then lose it. Needless to say, I don't have that kind of time!! Most of the time I give up and turn over and do the pillow/sheet method just to relieve myself, but that always leaves me feeling like I've failed. The orgasms I had experienced with my hand are much more intense than the ones with the pillow and I'd like to be able to have those again. I can't figure out why I can't do it anymore!! I've tried reading erotic stories, making up fantasies...you name it!! It's frustrating and makes me feel "broken."

Also, it would make it easier/quicker for my boyfriend to bring me to orgasm that way if I learned to do it myself more efficiently. Vibrators just don't work for me. Does anyone else have this problem and can anyone suggest something I might do to help myself?

 

[xbizguru]

I think that everyone have his / her way to get pleasure

 

[phoenix1224]

Also, it would make it easier/quicker for my boyfriend to bring me to orgasm that way if I learned to do it myself more efficiently. Vibrators just don't work for me. Does anyone else have this problem and can anyone suggest something I might do to help myself?

Have you tried using a vibrator or dildo inside you while you manually stimulate your clit?

 

[latebloomer124]

Have you tried using a vibrator or dildo inside you while you manually stimulate your clit?

For some reason, I don't like anything inside me when I'm masturbating...seems more of a distraction than anything else. Also, I feel that if by some miracle I got this method to work, I still would have trouble having an orgasm from hands alone. Is this true or does becoming more easily orgasmic translate to other methods?

 

[M's girl]

For some reason, I don't like anything inside me when I'm masturbating...seems more of a distraction than anything else. Also, I feel that if by some miracle I got this method to work, I still would have trouble having an orgasm from hands alone. Is this true or does becoming more easily orgasmic translate to other methods?

I'm not sure I understand exactly what your question is, but if you mean that it may turn out reaching orgasm by manual stimulation alone is not for you, then: yes! From what I've seen here on Lit and from what I know from outside of Lit it works differently for everyone. So it may very well turn out that you will reach orgasm through other methods easily but a 'handjob' (do you call it that for women as well?) or masturbating is just not your 'thing'. Also, you may finds that different kinds of stimulation will work different at other times. I used to cum from oral easily when I was younger. Now, it's more difficult for some reason. I don't know why. I blame it on experience and that I got used to the sensation too much (if there is such a thing, but I think you know what I mean). It's in the same league (IMHO) as being younger and getting aroused easier (hey, I know far better what's coming now than when I was 16, hence the anticipation and excitement was different) or the difference between having sex with a new partner or the same one after years. You know what I mean?

Still, I think you should not give up yet on trying. Best way to be able to tell your partner what you want and like is if you know this for yourself first. On the other hand.... if manual stimulation does not work for you but oral and/or PIV sex do... please have fun with that and enjoy it all you can! If you can have that, then why bother about not being able to cum from masturbating or your partner doing it to you?

 

[latebloomer124]

Still, I think you should not give up yet on trying. Best way to be able to tell your partner what you want and like is if you know this for yourself first. On the other hand.... if manual stimulation does not work for you but oral and/or PIV sex do... please have fun with that and enjoy it all you can! If you can have that, then why bother about not being able to cum from masturbating or your partner doing it to you?

I'm sorry if my question confused you. I'll try and be more clear. Orgasm through manual stimulation alone did not ever work for me until recently. After doing some reading and practicing, I discovered a rhythm that was really working for me. I was very proud of myself!! Then, for some reason, it stopped. I can't do it anymore. My b/f is still able to give me an orgasm this way...I just can't do it myself anymore!! No matter how long I persist. I was trying to find out if this had ever happened to anyone else and what she might have done about it. Other methods aside, I would really like to get back to where I was before this "block."

 

[M's girl]

I'm sorry if my question confused you. I'll try and be more clear. Orgasm through manual stimulation alone did not ever work for me until recently. After doing some reading and practicing, I discovered a rhythm that was really working for me. I was very proud of myself!! Then, for some reason, it stopped. I can't do it anymore. My b/f is still able to give me an orgasm this way...I just can't do it myself anymore!! No matter how long I persist. I was trying to find out if this had ever happened to anyone else and what she might have done about it. Other methods aside, I would really like to get back to where I was before this "block."

OK, I understand. Thank you (might have been a language problem on my side too since I'm not a native English speaker...). Anyway. I have no idea about that one. To me it's also very much about rhythm, but that is particularly something you know best yourself. It varies from time to time with me, though, so I'm the only one who knows (because I can feel it) how and when it works. I am sort of amazed to hear that you can't do it yourself anymore but your boyfriend can. It sounds like it has a lot to do with what's in your mind then, and also the excitement that he is doing it to you, which is great! Maybe, at this point there is just too much anxiety or whatever. Maybe you should stop trying for a while then and enjoy all the other stuff. Give it another try in a few weeks or even months....