Prince Charming

[freescorfr]

I found myslef for two days in a group of 15 - all women, aged 25 - 50. It was pure chance and I didn't really enjoy it that much. It was a workshop on relational communication!

One thing which emerged, was the number who had read fairy tales and romances. These had really affected their outlook on their relationships. Many were waiting for their Prince Charming - well 11 of the 15, to be precise, admitted that they had done so at some point in their lives.

What about you??

A story - a sort of fable, very simple was read out. I'm trying to translate it. If it's vaguely readable I'll post it later.
So who has been on the look out for Prince Charming?

 

[juicylips]

I have never waited for my Prince Charming. I have always known he was an illusion. That's not to say that the qualities that make Prince Charming attractive doesn't appeal to me. They do.

I think it is the whole "take me away" idea that most women like. He swoops down and you ride off into the sunset on this gorgeous white horse, never to have a problem or care again.

That's the real fairytale part.
JL

btw, f......you were missed.

 

[Wiggles]

My prince charming put's the toilet seat down. And he rinses his dishes.

Someday I'll find him.

 

[Lovepotion69]

I never really liked Prince Charming, he was boring.
I was a tomboy and read Marvel Comics instead.....

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Free--FYI, you might be interested in a book entitled, Reading the Romance by Janice Radway. It's an ethnographic study of women who read romance novels and the like. It's quite revealing in terms of showing how women negotiate the various myths of romance, being both seduced by them and highly critical of them.

 

[just pet]

If Prince has a fairy tale... would he be interested in me as a woman? And the horse thing scares me..

I prefer a King. Quietly powerful, not needing to prove His prowess.

 

[perks]

BAH!!!

what a bunch of vapid nonsense.

Do those women live in a time warp?

Romance is relative. Flowers and chocolate isn't romance it's a boring cliche.

Give me a man that can't sleep because his newborn babygirl isn't in his arms, so he takes a blanket and rolls it up about the size of her and holds it there so he can sleep. He's not a prince, or that charming either and often can be a complete ass, but, fuck, that's real.

 

[BustyTheClown]

I feel sorry for women who are constantly seeking their Prince Charming, someone who will sweep them off their feet and carry them off to a castle in the clouds. I don't think it's necessarily because they won't find him, because I think that's possible -- but they miss out on so much of life when all they can focus on is the future. And not just the future, but a romanticized version of the future that they've been sculpting in their heads since they were little girls. It's pathetic, really. Hell, I didn't even have a TYPE. You know how women (and men) are always going off about their "type" -- tall, dark, and handsome, or blonde, muscular, with a Porsche and a pool the size of Brazil. I didn't even have that. It kept my options open, and I was able to just enjoy life as it came, which, sadly, is far more than the Prince-hunters will ever be able to do.

 

[riff]

Prince Charming is an archetype. I have all kind of women tell me that I want to be a knight in shining armor.

Guilty. I am working on it. But I do feel sorry, too, for those who look for men to treat them like shit so that they don't have to feel guilty about fucking them over.

It's one of the reasons I am not having any romantic relationships right now.

 

[SilverVeil]

Prince Charming is a very powerful myth. And it is very hard to get out of the trap of seeking a Prince Charming once you get into it.

When you look for something that does not exist, you are setting yourself up for unhappiness.

 

[vylette]

i hope the fairy tale doesnt end

i have always believed in fairy tales and happily ever after..my husband i love to death and there is no doubt in my mind he is my soul mate..but i have to admit i do get nervous that one day it may all end, i would truly be devasted beyond belief

we have been married for 12 years now and have a great son together..my daily prayer/wish/hope is that it continues and we are together in our old age, sitting on our front porch swing still in love watching our grandchildren play..i truly just hold my breath and hope it last "forever"

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

I'm not looking for Prince Charming ... I'm not even looking for that matter. But if I was ... he would notice when I am tired, and take over for the day. He'd read Tender is the Night to me in bed when I am sick ... he'd be perfectly happy to sit with me and not have to talk ... he'd simply love me for me ... and all the quirky things that make me me...

 

[Ishmael]

Prince Charming is an archetype. I have all kind of women tell me that I want to be a knight in shining armor.

Guilty. I am working on it. But I do feel sorry, too, for those who look for men to treat them like shit so that they don't have to feel guilty about fucking them over.

It's one of the reasons I am not having any romantic relationships right now.

Get some books on Transactional Analysis. You fit the "rescuer" profile. It doesn't work for long.

Ishmael

 

[Reverie]

Morgaine, I think you and I are waiting for the same guy. Does someone like that even exist.

I'm an avid romance reader but I've never truly believed those fairytales were real. A white knight doesn't interest me much, they're to perfect and I don't really want a guy to rescue me, just somone to hold my hand while we walk together through the mine field that is life.

I want a soul mate. A guy that likes to read, take picnics down by the river, walk in the rain, will play and act silly but be strong in a crisis. Someone who loves and understands the REAL me, not just the me I show to most people. Someone who will let me love him desperately,spoil him rotten, and truly share his life with me:the good and the bad. I'm beginning to think that's WAY to much to ask.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Morgaine, I think you and I are waiting for the same guy. Does someone like that even exist.

I'm an avid romance reader but I've never truly believed those fairytales were real. A white knight doesn't interest me much, they're to perfect and I don't really want a guy to rescue me, just somone to hold my hand while we walk together through the mine field that is life.

I want a soul mate. A guy that likes to read, take picnics down by the river, walk in the rain, will play and act silly but be strong in a crisis. Someone who loves and understands the REAL me, not just the me I show to most people. Someone who will let me love him desperately,spoil him rotten, and truly share his life with me:the good and the bad. I'm beginning to think that's WAY to much to ask.

Sweet Jesus ... I think you're MY soulmate! I just built a fire ... come on over darlin

 

[JazzManJim]

Hey, I've met Prince Charming. Well....I've met a lot of Prince Charmings. Well.....I've met a lot of guys who said they were Prince Charming.

None of them were. But they got all the women.

That being said, I think that a great many women, regardless of what they say, still look for Prince Charming every single day and they're always sorely disappointed when they find yet another knave.

I gave up on that crap a long time ago. I know what I am, and it's not Princely or Kingly and it never will be.

 

[sabbathstorm]

I've never been one for fairytales and romance. I was the ultimate tomboy and had no use for any of that. I've always been a realist and never a true dreamer. Sometimes that can be a curse

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

okay, after this...I'm leaving this thread...I swear.

When I think of the phrase Prince Charming...I think of Perfection. And perfection isn't something I am interested in finding. It would be a constant quest. Nothing/No one is perfect.

 

[freescorfr]

At the risk of killing a thread with some really good posts - although I'd somehow got the impression that Morgy really needed rescuing, if any Lit woman did - I'll paste in my translation of this fable. It one of those which doesn't make sense on a quick or first reading.

The Story of the little girl who was led to believe that love would one day come to her.

There was once a little girl who, for a long, long time, held in her heart the dream of a great and beautiful romance. She dreamed of a boy, and later on of a man, as yet unknown to whom she would give her life, her body, her whole being. The years passed and this great love did not appear. She searched everywhere, with no luck, in the slightest of smiles, in every look, in every encounter she had.
For many years she was sure that this love would come to her, recognise her among all the other girls, and would say to her,
”Yes, it is you whom I have been looking for, you alone.”

So this little girl grew up and, being like all her friends, like all the other women, she gave up her dream and fell into the arms of a man who was passing by on his journey through her life. At first she didn’t realise how she was betraying herself and that, in this union there was neither love, nor pleasure, nor even the possibility of dreaming in her life.
Then one day, the relationship ceased and she took flight to save even a little of her life.

For a long, long time her body retained the residues of this dull beginning, initially a mediocre affair, finally something sordid.

She stayed this way, closed off to pleasure, worn out by even the thought of sharing her life with another.

One day, a good long time later, she discovered, deep down inside herself, this great love that she’d been searching for elsewhere, outside of herself.
Yes, she recognised this love within herself, an extraordinary force which moved her towards a man whom she was neither waiting for, nor expected. He was there, even before she was aware of him: he was there, entire, present.

He was there and it stirred up in her the awareness that, certainly, it was the love that she had been carrying inside herself that was coming to life.
It was such a fountain that it fed into each of her gestures, enlightened her words and awakened in her such potential as she had never imagined possible.
It was like an earthquake inside her which shook up her entire being.

She, who had waited so long, waiting for that unique love to come to her from outside, discovered with astonishment this love which had been dormant within her until this moment; that she had been carrying in her own body, secretly, this extraordinary life-force, overwhelmingly full of possibilities.

The man, who had given her this unhoped for love was so very surprised, at first, that he questioned her sentiment – which seemed mad and sudden. He was maybe a little bit frightened, even, at the start. “I don’t deserve such love,” he thought, “She has made a mistake – she thinks I am someone else.”

But it was he whom she had chosen, only he.


Well what happened after that is not possible to tell. But it does happen that in human love there is such growth and wonder, such creativity and music that the resonances are heard for ever.

Nor would I wish to involve anyone in a dream which cannot find a place in the real world…But then, if you listen to what is there, deep inside of you………who knows...

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

And I said I was leaving damn it.

You just made me cry ... I hate to cry.

 

[lavender]

 

[Kitte]

I grew up waiting for Prince Charming... He would make it all better, I would just suddenly be free from any pain, I would be happy, I would be complete,and he would always think I was beautiful.

fast forward 20 years... a bad marriage almost behind me... and then I find him prince charming!!!! HE IS REAL!
Just not in the way I expected. I am not free from pain, he helps me express it and when there are no words for it he just quietly loves me till I am able to cope.
I am not always happy but when I am he revels in it with me and when I am not, he helps me see how I need to make my own happiness.
I am complete, Finally. and in that wholeness I am finally able to love someone because I love me.
yes he does always think I am beautiful, even when I am crampy and whiny when Im having a bad hair day, and most importantly when I am sitting around in an oversized flannel shirt drinking a beer.

I think it was in pretty woman that Julia Roberts had the whole prince charming thing going, and at the end when Richard Gere comes for her... he asks " Now that you have been rescued by Prince charming what are you going to do" and she replies "Rescue him right back"

 

[freescorfr]

Here ya go free. I have a lot of websites that I have in my favorites that deal with this. Let me know if you'd like to have a look.

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=68580&highlight=fairy+tales+feminism

I've looked through the thread - started two days before I came to Lit. Stories are a very powerful too in moral education and can, of course, have a pernicious side too.

Yes I'd be interested in your sites especially as I've got to survive 4 more days with this particular group of women.
The fable is, I think, about independence and liberation of a women's femininity. I don't think it's as superficial as it seems at first glance.

 

[riff]

Get some books on Transactional Analysis. You fit the "rescuer" profile. It doesn't work for long.

Ishmael

Been there, done that. Actually used it in a critique of Shaw's "St. Joan." Back in the mid-80s.

Yeah, your OK.

 

[Rick DeVille]

Interesting ,you don't get many guys searching/waiting for Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella and yet they read/listened to the same fairytales?

I'm sure someone will explain it