Prayer

[Guest]

I swore I would never come back to Lit the other day, but I have nowhere to turn right now. My entire family is 1300 miles away. If any of you believe in forgiveness, God and the power of prayer, I ask that you pray for my daughter, Sam.

She developed a small lump that grew to half the size of my fist, and has moved from her upper chest area to her collarbone. You can see it through her shirt. She was seen at the emergency room in late Sept., and was sent home with Darvocet and other anti-inflammatory's thinking she's just an active child, and has some inflammation. (sounds weird) They did a chest ex-ray, but nothing came up. I was told to see the family doctor in 2 weeks if there wasn't any change. There hasn't, and things have only gotten worse.

We saw the family doctor, and she ordered a CT Scan immediately for the next day, which was yesterday. She appeared very concerned. The results came back this evening. I guess the doctor had rushed it through without telling me, so I wouldn't worry. I just received the most frightening phone call of my life. "It's a mass, a tumor, and it looks very abnormal and worrisome." It won't stop echoing through my brain! My daughter's 14 1/2 yrs. old! She lost her father to lymph node cancer when she was little, and watched him die.

The doctor is rushing her in tomorrow for a biopsy at 9am because she's afraid it might be bone cancer. There are other symptoms as well, but I think I typed out enough to hopefully reach someone, anyONE who will pray for her. Please, pray for my little girl! I believe in the power of prayer.

____________________

Update - it was confirmed. It is bone cancer.

 

[Liar]

I have noone to pray to, but I send my best wishes, hope and virtual hugs to you and your daughter.

 

[cymry]

I'll keep her in my thoughts.

 

[My Erotic Tale]

bows humble (~_~)

 

[bluerains]

resonation prayer

Center you voice within us
Breathe your wisdom and truth
so every ear can hear your strength
Don’t let your light fade from
our hearts like the sunset
let us not hide the sparkle in
our soul from your eyes
allow us to become the willow
tree flowing in your love...
bowing to touch
this child in need...


bluerains

 

[Sabina_Tolchovsky]

you have my compassion and thoughts

 

[Guest]

Center you voice within us
Breathe your wisdom and truth
so every ear can hear your strength
Don’t let your light fade from
our hearts like the sunset
let us not hide the sparkle in
our soul from your eyes
allow us to become the willow
tree flowing in your love...
bowing to touch
this child in need...


bluerains

Thank you, bluerains. You touched my heart. In tears, about speechless.

 

[Du Lac]

Follow the path set before you
Light of love overcomes our fears
strength of a child's joy
held tightly in your heart
coddles the fear and erases the pain
May these that you hold within your essence
grace you with the power you need at this time
blessings and healing to both you and yours

du lac~

 

[Guest]

Follow the path set before you
Light of love overcomes our fears
strength of a child's joy
held tightly in your heart
coddles the fear and erases the pain
May these that you hold within your essence
grace you with the power you need at this time
blessings and healing to both you and yours

du lac~

I felt like I just got a hug. Beautiful, Du Lac. Thank you!

 

[Luv2PleasureF]

Prayers

Beloved,
I went to bed last night and prayed for her health and well-being until I fell fast asleep, and awoke this morning saying a prayer for her in my sleep.

Be strong, my angel, as you know you can be... be her angel, and keep positive thoughts in mind. She will draw strength from yours. If there is a battle ahead, you both need to believe she can win, as I believe she can.

It's ironic that once again I find myself telling you to believe... but this time I know you will, as I believe... not only in her strength, but in the absolute power that lies within your heart of gold.

There is nothing more precious and powerful than love, something I have been reminded of every day since I last held you in my arms and whispered 'I love you' in your ear.

I eagerly await the chance to tell you again...

 

[Guest]

There is nothing more precious and powerful than love, something I have been reminded of every day since I last held you in my arms and whispered 'I love you' in your ear.

I eagerly await the chance to tell you again...

It will no longer be over the phone like today. By next Sunday, I hope to be sleeping in your arms again. Whether the cancer spreads or not, we have to hurry back to Pa for the support from family and old friends while she's getting Chemo. I have debated this all day. By Tues, maybe Weds, I'll know if it spread elsewhere.

I hope you feel better, sniffles. When you get back online, you best change your location. We are one, but 1300 miles apart. I'm coming home, baby! I'm coming home.

I love you. I know you'll smile big when you see this. As always, "you're such a mush!" Throw your tissues away. The dog might eat them.

 

[Guest]

Thank you for the pms

Update as asked -

I'm getting so confused with all these tests and different doctors. I've been on and off the phone all morning.

We were at the hosp. from 6:15 to 3:30 yesterday. Then she slept for 16 hours straight. I received a phone call at 9am today saying I need to bring my daughter back for the same freaking tests. The site of the mass is swollen and painful from the biopsy, and they want to repeat the damn thing. My daughter was cussing in the backround while I was on the phone - "I aint going back to that fucking place! I've had enough fucking needles these past few days. You're gonna have to come here and make me!"

THEN I get another phone call a half hour later saying she has an appt. with another Ocologist at 11am for results then ANOTHER afterwards. I screamed at the woman over the phone because she knew NOTHING about tests being redone, and thinks there was an error.

I'm counting the fucking pokes, stabs, and errors, let me tell ya! Her hand is swollen because - "oops, sorry, we missed" after they injected her with some dye. 7 needles worth of fucking cancer juice was sucked out from the tumor. She's in so much pain! It was never enough for the pathologist. He wanted more and more tissue removed so he could study it. IV after IV - they kept moving the damn thing. She has bruises all over! 12 damn pokes and stabs!

I was told after all this that there wasn't any other tumors in her body, and the only wait now is for the bloodwork to come back to make sure it didn't spread there as well. But things are fishy....things, dontcha hate that word?! One person said we have to redo everything then another said more results are in.

"We see the tumor is cancerous, (Osteosarcoma) but we're confused with some other "things."

Now, I'm going to get ready to leave and I'm so damn confused in what's going on. This is why I hate fucking doctors! I'm worn out. I hope I made some sense here. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and my thoughts feel somewhat scattered. I don't have enough sleep in me. I'll be back with either the results or a fucking scream! This is ridiculous! I feel like I'm dealing with unprofessionals. I can't wait to leave on Friday to go back home to my Luv2 and family.

 

[Guest]

Another update -

The results today - her blood cells look suspicious - they're abnormal. We'll be leaving MN to go to PA Thurday morning, so we can be close to family, and then to the closest children's cancer hospital, which the doctor is setting up. I have to pick up all the results and slides/scans before we go.

We're going back home to My Sweetheart. It'll feel good to be back in his arms again. He's very supportive.

She'll be going under the knife - they need to remove a large chunk of the tumor to study it. I'm sure it won't be the last. It looks like we'll be living at one of those Ronald McDonald houses because she'll be an impatient for 3 mos. getting Chemo. After that, we'll be going to a regular hospital to finish out the rest.

Thanks again for the messages and emails. They are appreciated.

I'm a wreck. That's all I can type for now. Maybe I'll come back online later to come across some funnies on the boards. I could use a good joke. Right now, I just need to cry.

 

[WickedEve]

Another update -

The results today - her blood cells look suspicious - they're abnormal. We'll be leaving MN to go to PA Thurday morning, so we can be close to family, and then to the closest children's cancer hospital, which the doctor is setting up. I have to pick up all the results and slides/scans before we go.

We're going back home to My Sweetheart. It'll feel good to be back in his arms again. He's very supportive.

She'll be going under the knife - they need to remove a large chunk of the tumor to study it. I'm sure it won't be the last. It looks like we'll be living at one of those Ronald McDonald houses because she'll be an impatient for 3 mos. getting Chemo. After that, we'll be going to a regular hospital to finish out the rest.

Thanks again for the messages and emails. They are appreciated.

I'm a wreck. That's all I can type for now. Maybe I'll come back online later to come across some funnies on the boards. I could use a good joke. Right now, I just need to cry.

Jeez. I just read both of your update posts. It's making me sick to my stomach. It sucks what you and that child are going through. I know it's frustrating but do anything and everything you have to do. You can tell them off and tell them not to screw up and do what you can to protect her, but you still have to do what they want so they can be sure they give her the best treatment and get rid of the cancer.

 

[annaswirls]

Saldne,

My thoughts are with you and your daughter, I know that mama tiger reaction when anyone hurts my baby Even if it is for their best interest... hang in there!

As far as the Doctors, remember they are just people-- and keep asking questions. They sometimes do not want to give all of the information to "protect" the family from worrying about something that might not be. If you want to know then ask ask ask until they tell you. "Things" is not an appropriate answer or description. You have a right to know what is going on.

I am glad you will be home close to loved ones. The Children's Hospital in Phila is an excellent hospital, she will be in good hands. I have had two friends with their children there recently, one in the Cancer center. He is recovered and on his way to health, the other was in their heart center and is just like any other kid now. I also knew an 8th grader with a brain tumor who went there, and recieved wonderful treatment and is also on his way to recovery. A lot of miracles happen there in Philadelphia. Keep believing that your daughter will be one of them, let her see your faith, she is looking to you to know how to react...

I know you know these things Just want to do what I can and am feeling motherly too

Take care of yourself and your daughter, nothing else matters right now.

~as

 

[sperling]

Just read your and your daughter's story.
Be sure, my prayers are with you, too,
and remember, you're not alone on your way!

 

[bluerains]

some quotes to ponder

on your journey...may your footpath be guided and blessed...


There ain't much fun in medicine, but there's a heck of a lot of medicine in fun

-- Josh Billings



You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."

-- Eleanor Roosevelt




Seek always for the answer within. Be not influenced by those around you, by their thoughts or their words.

-- Eileen Caddy


To live in the presence of great truths and eternal laws, to be led by permanent ideals - that is what keeps a man patient when the world ignores him, and calm and unspoiled when the world praises him.

-- Honore De Balzac


What a piece of work is man!
How noble in reason! how infinite in faculty!
In form, in moving, how express and admirable!
In action how like an angel!
In apprehension how like a God!

-- Shakespeare, from "Hamlet"


There is surely a piece of divinity in us,
something that was before the elements,
and owes no homage to the sun.

-- Sir Thomas Brown (1830-79) English physician and writer, from "Religio Medici."

 

[LeBroz]

Another update -

The results today - her blood cells look suspicious - they're abnormal. We'll be leaving MN to go to PA Thurday morning, so we can be close to family, and then to the closest children's cancer hospital, which the doctor is setting up. I have to pick up all the results and slides/scans before we go.

We're going back home to My Sweetheart. It'll feel good to be back in his arms again. He's very supportive.

She'll be going under the knife - they need to remove a large chunk of the tumor to study it. I'm sure it won't be the last. It looks like we'll be living at one of those Ronald McDonald houses because she'll be an impatient for 3 mos. getting Chemo. After that, we'll be going to a regular hospital to finish out the rest.

Thanks again for the messages and emails. They are appreciated.

I'm a wreck. That's all I can type for now. Maybe I'll come back online later to come across some funnies on the boards. I could use a good joke. Right now, I just need to cry.

Couldn't have said it any better than annaswirls. You keep on taking care of your baby; hold it all together til you get to PA and get everything settled (quickly), the important thing for you right now is to hold it together til you get into his arms - then you can let everything out (that's the medicine you need!).

Will keep hoping to see you able to post good news for us here, after you and your daughter get through this horrific time.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

 

[Guest]

You can tell them off and tell them not to screw up and do what you can to protect her, but you still have to do what they want so they can be sure they give her the best treatment and get rid of the cancer.

Thanks, Eve.

I wasn't very nice when I first got there yesterday, but I got this - "We're not any different than you. We make mistakes, too." I was growling, let me tell ya!

I love the Social Worker there. She minds me of Rosie Odonell. But she got me a little mad when she told my daughter after I already had about her hair. "Oh, there's pretty hats, and they can make wigs. Heck, we can make ya real purdy!" My daughter flipped out and starting screaming. The fucks were flying out of her mouth like you wouldn't believe. I was waiting for the secretary to come out and give me the results to take back to PA, but I had to leave because my daughter was getting out of control. There was so much anger, so many tears. But she's a tough kid. (physically) I really thought she was going to hurt somebody. So, I'm heading over there in about an hour and getting the results. I think she should stay in the van. Yup, most definitely.

As far as the Doctors, remember they are just people-- and keep asking questions. They sometimes do not want to give all of the information to "protect" the family from worrying about something that might not be. If you want to know then ask ask ask until they tell you. "Things" is not an appropriate answer or description. You have a right to know what is going on.

I am glad you will be home close to loved ones. The Children's Hospital in Phila is an excellent hospital, she will be in good hands. I have had two friends with their children there recently, one in the Cancer center. He is recovered and on his way to health, the other was in their heart center and is just like any other kid now. I also knew an 8th grader with a brain tumor who went there, and recieved wonderful treatment and is also on his way to recovery. A lot of miracles happen there in Philadelphia. Keep believing that your daughter will be one of them, let her see your faith, she is looking to you to know how to react...

I know you know these things Just want to do what I can and am feeling motherly too

Take care of yourself and your daughter, nothing else matters right now.

Anna, thanks for sharing your story with me. It's so tough watching our loved ones go through something so tragic. And trying to keep it together as Mom is well, I'm just doing the best I can.

Yeah, I'm glad I'm going back home. I can't wait to get a hug from family even though we've had a rough past. There's no time to talk about the ugliness - focus on the here and now, you know? It was nice to hear about your friends recovery. I can only hope and pray for the same.


bluerains, I will never forget what you had said to me. Walk through the door, and say *it* three times." You have a beautiful heart. Thank you so very much!

 

[Guest]

Just read your and your daughter's story.
Be sure, my prayers are with you, too,
and remember, you're not alone on your way!

Ah yes - another believer in the power of prayer. I must have missed this. Thank you. It means a lot to me. And Lauren sent me three roses. It's nice to see people care.

the important thing for you right now is to hold it together til you get into his arms - then you can let everything out (that's the medicine you need!).

You bet! He'll be the first one I'll see. It's been 3 mos. since we've seen each other. Lots of making up to do. <smiles> Oh, he brings many of those! He's the most wonderful man!

Thank you for your thoughts and concerns.


I'm a little nervous about the road trip. It's almost 1300 miles. My van isn't very healthy - leaking oil, trans and gas (small leak). Ya gotta love these gas prices. (Not!) I have on my list to get a case of oil, and a ton of other things. It wont leak gas if I don't fill it up. I guess that's where the leak is in the tank. I don't know. I'm not a mechanic, but that's when I notice it. So, I'm just going to keep it on a half tank all the way. It's more stopping to get gas, but it'll save me money.

~

Okay, I guess I'm signing off for a few days. Well, I guess I have no clue when I'll be back. Maybe Luv2 can give the updates. I don't know what's going to happen. The cable man will be here this afternoon to get the equipment from the TV and internet. So, I'll make this my last post and give big hugs and thank you's. Your support is appreciated more than you know.

To all

Of course, I'm late. How long must these teens stay in the shower?!

 

[WickedEve]

Thanks, Eve.

I wasn't very nice when I first got there yesterday, but I got this - "We're not any different than you. We make mistakes, too." I was growling, let me tell ya!

I love the Social Worker there. She minds me of Rosie Odonell. But she got me a little mad when she told my daughter after I already had about her hair. "Oh, there's pretty hats, and they can make wigs. Heck, we can make ya real purdy!" My daughter flipped out and starting screaming. The fucks were flying out of her mouth like you wouldn't believe. I was waiting for the secretary to come out and give me the results to take back to PA, but I had to leave because my daughter was getting out of control. There was so much anger, so many tears. But she's a tough kid. (physically) I really thought she was going to hurt somebody. So, I'm heading over there in about an hour and getting the results. I think she should stay in the van. Yup, most definitely.

Poor kid. I know the woman was trying to be nice, but when you're first trying to deal with something like this, you don't want to hear it. Though... later, you could have her a hat party or something crazy and fun like that to cheer her up. I took my 6 year-old back to the children's rehab center yesterday. She was diagnosed with autism 3 years ago. But the school disagreed and said she had some other disability. The specialist said once again, after he did more tests, that she is autistic, probably has adhd, and other things that he said came with autism. She's already having trouble in kindergarten, but he told me that he knows of people who have autism and they have achieved so much as adults. I really didn't want to hear about the guy who became a nuclear physicist or his brother-in-law or any of the rest. I'll think it's great later, but not right now. Right now I'm sad.

 

[flyguy69]

I'm sorry I am such a late-comer to this thread-- I thought it was a poem about prayer!

I sincerely hope that you and your daughter find the strength to get through this difficult time, Saldne. The world is filled with more caring folks than uncaring ones, and in the medical circles you will encounter please remember that.

I worked in Human Oncology for a number of years, and remember how much of the information fell on deaf ears because the initial news was so devastating that nothing else could get through. It is OK to ask them to stop talking for awhile and give you time to process. They know you need it.

for you
for Sam

 

[Luv2PleasureF]

Update

My sweetie asked me to give everyone an update...
She arrived safely on Friday night to open arms and loving kisses.
Then she threatened to put a boot up my derriere because I said if she was really tired I could go play poker and cuddle up with her when I got home.

No, wait, it was a sneaker... and she did offer to use lube.

So we had pizza, put the kiddies to bed and caught up on some much needed snuggling. She's visiting family today, and of course hoping for lots of prayers for her daughter.

With God's grace, all will be well.

More soon, she'll probably be online here tomorrow to catch up with everyone.

 

[Guest]

Well, Monday can't come fast enough. Her appt. is at 1pm tomorrow. She's now having breathing problems, and it seems to happen moreso at nighttime. I'm somewhat prepared to be in Philly for 3 mos. during Chemo, but feel incredibly torn. Luv2 is taking care of my dog and my other two children will be separated from me. (long story) I know everyone will come visit us, but I almost feel as if I'm losing everything. It's a down day.

The Ronald McDonald's House is packed and I don't think I wanna go anyway because I don't wanna see or hear other families in tears over their loved ones. I can't go through that. I just can't. So, I guess I'm going to be staying at a nearby hotel if I'm able to leave her bedside. I don't know how I'm gonna do this knowing that when she's sick or gets the flue, she vomits in her sleep and she's one who sleeps on her back. The Chemo is gonna make her soo sick. *sigh*

One thing for sure is I'm very happy to be back home. Leaving the state impulsively has taught me a huge lesson.

My sweetie asked me to give everyone an update...
She arrived safely on Friday night to open arms and loving kisses.
Then she threatened to put a boot up my derriere because I said if she was really tired I could go play poker and cuddle up with her when I got home.

No, wait, it was a sneaker... and she did offer to use lube.

I did arrive exhausted but cannot believe this nutty man said since I was so tired, he'd go play poker and let me sleep. I just wanted to snuggle and cry. And ew, the pizza sucks in this town. I haven't been to Philly in years, but will always remember their pizza and cheesesteaks. Oh yeah! It's great to be home. I just don't wanna leave. I kinda like being smothered by all these hugs and kisses. He's now watching Eddie Murphy on stage and pigging out on Doritos. My God, that man has a filthy mouth, but damn is he funny! I'm typing away here and all I hear is "Pussy, pussy, pussy." on TV.


He's lucky he didn't get the sneaker. And damn, I'm begging him to change his AV, but he says he wants to be my hero. I just think that guy looks queer.