Power and Dominance--a newbie

[Fenshae]

Let me preface this--I am 18 and a virgin with pitifully little dating experience, so anything that follows MIGHT just make me look like a jackass. That said...

I have been sexually roleplaying on the internet ever since I awoke my sexuality, in addition to other sorts of internet RPs--it's a pasttime I enjoy, and I like to explore various things in that format that I would never consider IRL just to see how I react to them.

One surprising thing I discovered in my RPs is that I have a fascination with torture and cruelty; I have played a few truly sadistic characters, once or twice in a sexual setting, and thoroughly enjoyed it. Most surprisingly, I found myself getting turned on while I was RPing a torture sequence in a non-sexual RP.

This all seems very strange to me. I never considered myself all that sadistic, and all the BDSM porn I've found never did much for me. Additionally, I'm probably one of the sweetest, most soft-hearted people I know (one of those folks who gets tied up in knots when someone yells, for instance) and extremely generous/selfless/giving/etc. So the concept that I would be turned on by the idea of doling out torture seems utterly bizarre to me.

When I RP, especially sexually, I usually prefer male characters. One of my favorite sexual RPs is that of a sadistic male rapist...which is most confusing considering I am a straight female. So I think it all boils down to a personal need for power or dominance, and I was just curious if anybody had any tips for how I could tease out this part of my personality and sexuality? Or just offer some advice, or perhaps attempt to convince me I'm not a wench? *cheesy grin*

Sorry for the length, and if this makes no sense...it's 3:30 am and now I'm just rambling.

Anyway, thanks in advance for absolutely any input you can give me!

 

[A Desert Rose]

You might start by reading here...

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=287554

 

[caela]

...or perhaps attempt to convince me I'm not a wench? *cheesy grin*

~smiles warmly~ Alright, first thing...you are not a wench. Second thing, if you haven't already read the thread ADR posted it contains a wealth of material written by the Dominants on this board and you may find it particularly interesting as you seem to be finding yourself walking in that direction.

I'd also suggest doing a search on sadists (here on Lit I mean not a google search ) and see what you can come up with. I am still learning this board myself or I might try to be more specific. There is a lot of helpful information on here if you take the time to look for it.

Sorry I couldn't be more help, and happy hunting!

 

[Fenshae]

Thank you both for your help I'll scuttle over to that thread momentarily

 

[s'lara]

Hello and welcome Fenshae.

Our Library is full of informative threads which may be helpful in terms of your interests.

The following is a list of threads which relate to your questions:

Dominance

Exploration

Introspection

Pain and Sensory Play

Sadism

Total Power Exchange

Good luck in your explorations and safe journey.

lara

 

[Pure]

Hi,
One view you might consider is that sexual deviations, variations, and perversions (including SM) are not like continents we may or may not visit-- as in going to Australia. Rather they are components of human sexuality, present *in varying degree* in each sexual human being.