Potty Mouth

[Wickid Cherry Pie]

I have to confess, I have a potty mouth. It is a bad habit that I am trying to break, but it is so much harder than I anticipated.
I have great inspiration to quit, her name is Caitlin and she is my 4-year-old who repeats everything.
After she smashed her pinky in the door and yelled, "Sonofabitch!" I knew it was time to cut the expletives.
I made a brief attempt at using a "swear jar" in which I placed a quarter each time I said a naughty word, but it was short lived. However, my daughter liked it because I was constantly fishing the change out for the ice cream truck. So she was like, "Say some more yucky words, Mommy, I want a Spongebob popsicle!"
Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[silverwhisper]

start working in substitutions. where do you suppose darn and heck came from? :>

ed

 

[Guest]

and where did your foul language come from? Probably from your parents. I think it is an endless cycle passed on from generation to generation. Besides, are these words really that bad?

 

[bholderman]

I have to confess, I have a potty mouth. It is a bad habit that I am trying to break, but it is so much harder than I anticipated.
I have great inspiration to quit, her name is Caitlin and she is my 4-year-old who repeats everything.
After she smashed her pinky in the door and yelled, "Sonofabitch!" I knew it was time to cut the expletives.
I made a brief attempt at using a "swear jar" in which I placed a quarter each time I said a naughty word, but it was short lived. However, my daughter liked it because I was constantly fishing the change out for the ice cream truck. So she was like, "Say some more yucky words, Mommy, I want a Spongebob popsicle!"
Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Im in that boat now with kids, who accasionally yell out, "GODAMMIT!", "WHAT THE HELL!?" and even the occasional, "FUCK." Whats funny in a way is that they say it exactly as me or my wife say it (i.e. all the stresses and inflections are exactly the same), sounding like a tape recording of ourselves.

Getting out of the habit is hard and we are still working on it, good luck.

 

[BlueSugar]

curse words are nonsense words that you give meaning to - as far as children are concerned.

Ball used to be a nonsense word until you gave it a meaning and a shape.

FUCK! means something went wrong.
GODAMNIT! means you're angry
SONOFABITCH! means you're frustrated.
SHIT! means you made a mistake.
and so on.

use another nonsense word ... I think fiddlesticks needs to make a comeback.

this way curse words aren't something good people say *mommy, daddy, family, the priest...* but something bad people say *tv, movies, radio, strangers...*


your child made a joke, so she knows its a bad word but its a reward for her just the same.
*curse word + money = icecream*
so it becomes funny and not a serious thing that you want to work on.

 

[Wickid Cherry Pie]

and where did your foul language come from? Probably from your parents. I think it is an endless cycle passed on from generation to generation. Besides, are these words really that bad?

You are right, it came mainly from my dad who was an army drill sgt. for years. Curse words were just a normal part of his everyday vocabulary.
I have always wondered who gets to decide wht words are bad. Why is "shit" bad, but the alternatives poop, crap, etc. are okay?

 

[Guest]

You are right, it came mainly from my dad who was an army drill sgt. for years. Curse words were just a normal part of his everyday vocabulary.
I have always wondered who gets to decide wht words are bad. Why is "shit" bad, but the alternatives poop, crap, etc. are okay?

And the more immediate question is are you a worse person for it? Does having a potty mouth make you somehow inferior than anyone else? Besides, sometimes a pottymouth is good

 

[Wickid Cherry Pie]

Im in that boat now with kids, who accasionally yell out, "GODAMMIT!", "WHAT THE HELL!?" and even the occasional, "FUCK." Whats funny in a way is that they say it exactly as me or my wife say it (i.e. all the stresses and inflections are exactly the same), sounding like a tape recording of ourselves.

Getting out of the habit is hard and we are still working on it, good luck.

Yes! I know! Scary isn't it?
And sometimes it is all I can do to restrain my laughter.

 

[Wickid Cherry Pie]

And the more immediate question is are you a worse person for it? Does having a potty mouth make you somehow inferior than anyone else? Besides, sometimes a pottymouth is good

IMO, no it doesn't make a person inferior. Although there are those who would argue that people perceive you as less intelligent when you use curse words.
I just don't want to get that call from school saying, "Your daughter said..."
I just need to learn to keep my obscenities in check, save them for the right occassion.

 

[Guest]

IMO, no it doesn't make a person inferior. Although there are those who would argue that people perceive you as less intelligent when you use curse words.
I just don't want to get that call from school saying, "Your daughter said..."
I just need to learn to keep my obscenities in check, save them for the right occassion.

Peoples perceptions are often wrong. I have an extensive vocabulary and can discuss most things in an intelligent manner but I curse all the time. And remember, your child's teachers probably swear too.
And if you ever need a right ocassion, look me up!

 

[silverwhisper]

bluesugar: hey, i use fiddlesticks in real life! :> help me out: we could start something here!

ed

 

[glynndah]

The words in and of themselves are not wrong, just the context. Teach her that those words are not to be used in casual conversations or with people whose feelings would be hurt. They are "serious" words and are not to be used lightly.

Never mind. I just realized that my autustic son's favorite adjective is "goddamned" and I've had 19 years to correct the problem.

 

[Eilan]

I try really, really hard not to curse around my kids. Most of the time, I'm successful, but I definitely have my moments.

My two older kids know that there are certain words that they shouldn't say. When they were younger (this hasn't yet been an issue with my two youngest), they would say "bad" words (not knowing they were bad, of course) on occasion. My approach was to ignore what they said or repeat it back to them in a more appropriate way. It's best to ignore them if you can (unless you're in church or somewhere else where potty mouths aren't appropriate). If you pay too much attention to what they say, then they're more likely to repeat it. Negative attention is better than no attention at all.

Not that this really answers your question, though.

 

[aconsenter]

I stopped swearing about three years ago. I am in the habit of using substitute words when I do have to "swear" or say something in frustration. The really interesting part is that guys i work with have quit swearing around me........ Never said a word to them and it didn't happen overnight, but they used to swear alot and around me they talk like sunday school teachers....
You can do it, it took me several months. Now, even when i am alone and one slips out, I catch myself.
I also really notice people, sometimes professional people, who can't say ten words without using GD, F, etc.
sad

 

[Ravin the Poet]

I swear like mad, but never see it as bad. In my form of writing, swearing is common and used as an enforcer word, so thats all I see it as. I do want to stop swearing though. Let's see if I can go today with swearing. I'll update everyone today on how many times I say certain words


Ravin

 

[M's girl]

I have great inspiration to quit, her name is Caitlin and she is my 4-year-old who repeats everything.
After she smashed her pinky in the door and yelled, "Sonofabitch!" I knew it was time to cut the expletives.
I made a brief attempt at using a "swear jar" in which I placed a quarter each time I said a naughty word, but it was short lived. However, my daughter liked it because I was constantly fishing the change out for the ice cream truck. So she was like, "Say some more yucky words, Mommy, I want a Spongebob popsicle!"
Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Gosh... that was funny! I'm not one to swear easily and do try to find and use alternatives if I can. Of course my (Dutch) swear-vocablaire is different but we do use English words like "shit". Around M's children I would, for instance, try to remember to say "chips" instead, but luckily I don't have to watch my vocabulaire too often...

I remember a friend from way back in who'se house there would be a swear-jar too, brought back memories..

And I agree with BlueSugar and her dictionary-kinda-list. I guess it often also matters in what tone of voice these words are being used. I think everyone in their right mind can understand how these words are often used out of some kind of frustration and is not meant to hurt or upset anyone else. The Dutch equivalent of Goddammit for instance, I use every now and then (rarely) when I'm really frustrated over something. Mostly I'm upset with myself, rather than with anyone else when I use that word. I'm not religious but it is by no means to be meant disrepectful of the church, God, or any religion for that matter. It's just a (common?) swearword and if Fiddlesticks were "the norm" I would probably say that then... And if everyone did that would that then be considered a "bad swear-word"? I sometimes wonder about that....

 

[Wolk]

I would say that it's not the words themselves that are bad, but the emotions they represent. It may vary from person to person, of course, but it seems to me that more intense negative emotions are usually associated with foul curses than with normal exclaimations.

I knew a guy who never swore, but used to constantly get incredibly upset. He would go about saying "God, oh God!" with such punctuation of his voice that it sounded like the worst sailor-curse. You could parctically see his heart-rate shoot through the roof and stay there for a while. Though, like I mentioned, he never swore.

It's unhealthy, of course, to have strong negative emtions over minor things. And for that it is bad to curse.

Like someone suggested already, work in substitutes. By consciously forcing yourself to turn your emotions into less strong words, you are also dampening the emotions themselves. Eventually, I think your mind will just learn not to get so upset in the first place.

In any case, good luck.

PS Just so you know, that font is a pain to read.

 

[M's girl]

I would say that it's not the words themselves that are bad, but the emotions they represent. It may vary from person to person, of course, but it seems to me that more intense negative emotions are usually associated with foul curses than with normal exclaimations.

I knew a guy who never swore, but used to constantly get incredibly upset. He would go about saying "God, oh God!" with such punctuation of his voice that it sounded like the worst sailor-curse. You could parctically see his heart-rate shoot through the roof and stay there for a while. Though, like I mentioned, he never swore.

It's unhealthy, of course, to have strong negative emtions over minor things. And for that it is bad to curse.

Like someone suggested already, work in substitutes. By consciously forcing yourself to turn your emotions into less strong words, you are also dampening the emotions themselves. Eventually, I think your mind will just learn not to get so upset in the first place.

In any case, good luck.

PS Just so you know, that font is a pain to read.

Agree on all of the above! Including the font-thing. I like fonts though, it's a 'subject' I have lots of books about and I frequently use different types for different purposes. Although this one is harder to read it looks nice and doesn't bother me. Oh, but that is an entirely different subject... sorry!

 

[Pyro Paul]

For me, i found the easyest way to not curse. simply say overly smart screwed up words.

Fluster Cluck!!
BooShoo!
Fugsickles!


of course then again, this could bring lots of resentment towards yourself.

for instance, i use the Word, Grrrr. (litteraly said out 'g-r-r-r') in order to show my disapproval hatread or anger at something with out saying anything at all. unfortunatly it has become common place of people around me that they will make fun of me because i say grrr. at things. or that i say, you are Grr-ing me. im just Grr-ed.

intresting fact, Curse words are acctualy words of curse, starting with the phrase, God Damn it. the word damn means to condemn the bring on of failure. that is litteraly the only curse word in reality, the rest of them are just not nice words.

except for fuck, thats an acronyme (sp?)

 

[Ravin the Poet]

I did good today. I have said fuck twice. And both were in the last 20 minutes while alone. I was playing poker and some idiot called and won on a stupid hand.

But still, thats good for me.


Ravin

 

[Eilan]

I remember a friend from way back in who'se house there would be a swear-jar too, brought back memories..

One of my ex-husband's former bosses employed a swear jar (one dime per swear word), mainly because of my ex and a couple of other guys. One Saturday morning, the staff had to go to the office for a meeting, and at one point, when his supervisor asked him what he thought about one of the issues they were discussing, my ex reached into his pocket, pulled out $3, and said, "I might as well pay in advance." Then he told his boss what he thought.

And, no, that's not why he became a former employee.

 

[phoenix1224]

This thread reminded me of George Carlin's bit about 20 years ago about the 8 words that you can't say on television... Most of them CAN be (and are regularly) said on television NOW.

 

[Succulent-one]

I use dang a lot
I say sugar instead of shit
I say f-en instead of fuck, but I would like to stop that as well.

It looks like we are all in the same boat.

 

[M's girl]

One of my ex-husband's former bosses employed a swear jar (one dime per swear word), mainly because of my ex and a couple of other guys. One Saturday morning, the staff had to go to the office for a meeting, and at one point, when his supervisor asked him what he thought about one of the issues they were discussing, my ex reached into his pocket, pulled out $3, and said, "I might as well pay in advance." Then he told his boss what he thought.

And, no, that's not why he became a former employee.

That's a funny story.... at least he also had a sense of humour! (or is it humor? hmmm...)

 

[Private_Label]

Maybe you could ask your daughter to help you make up some funny words for each of the "naughty" words - secret words that you and she would know you were using the bad ones. Then ask her to help you remember to use them. When you find yourself using them at work, then you will know you have won the game