Postpartum sex question

[Mstrskey]

alright guys and gals, as most of you know hubby and I brought our third breathtakingly beautiful daughter into the world about 2 weeks ago, and as those of you who have had kids yourselves know, that means I am out of sexual comission for at least another three weeks. No I have no problem whatsoever with this. Like all my other post- partum periods my sexual interest is non- existent, in fact to be honest the thought of sex is physically repellant to me right now. My question is more for my poor baby of a husband.
During the last month of my pregnancy I was told to avoid sex as I was having some complications with pre-term labor, ( my daughter was born almost 4 weeks early in spite of that) and so prior to the onset of my labor hubby had gone about a month without so much as a quick feel. Now he is facing down the 6 week postpartum sexual famine and realizing that the next time he could get any he'll have gone nearly 3 months without! We'd tried alternate methods of sexual gratification, but as I am breast feeding oral sex to orgasm is simply not an option. Even though it wouldn't harm the baby, we both agree it'd be a bit to weird right now. We tried allowing him to tit-fuck me but A- my breasts respond to stimulation in only one way these days, and leaking breastmilk all over my chest or better yet shooting my husband in the face with it was a real mood killer; and B- even though we cleaned up afterwards when I went to try and nurse later that night the baby seemed to still be able to smell cum on my skin and wasn't to happy with it.

So....what other options are there to give the man some sexual release. He's going to go blind if he doesn't quit jerking off and I feel bad since none of the other methods we've tried seem to be working to satisfaction. If any of you parents out there have any suggestions I'd love to get some advice on this one.

 

[Bobmi357]

Mstrskey,
First off, congrats on your new baby! I probably missed your announcement of her being born, but better late than never.

Now we both know hubby isn't going to go blind by jerking off. It really is a matter of self control. But some of us have less control than others.

So having said that, lets indulge him some by helping him along, you can give him hand jobs, or if you don't want any form of penetrative sex, you could even let him cum by sliding his dick between your ass cheeks. You could watch him masterbate and give him directions or egg him on. Hell, be his personal cheerleader!

You're very limited at what you can do at the moment, and he's not only got to understand that, he's got to deal with it. Its not fair for him to put a lot of pressure on you, you just had his child. The ultimate gesture of love a woman can do for a man. Not to mention you probably are pretty tired dealing with a newborn, and keeping up with two other children. So I think at times like this, he really shouldn't be making that much of an issue about it. Sure he has to wait a few weeks, it won't kill him, and you'll be there to lend a helping and loving hand.

 

[ldlarry52]

It's a tough time for hubby. I've been there. However, I found erotica both reading and writing a release and of course jerking off.
I don't understand why blow jobs are out. My wife did give me a few. I'd either cum in her mouth or I'd shoot it over my belly.
By the way if hubby hasn't tried it your breast milk is a wonder full treat. LDLarry52

 

[crazybbwgirl]

You should read the story by Carnus about the lactating woman. whew..... might put a new spin on the gushing milk thing. (actually made me jealous I was not lactacting!lol)

 

[Hotred911]

The only suggestion I can offer is much like one already mentioned. The two of you can stimulate sex with him in between your thighs. Personally, I think spooning positions work best for this. And it's something the both of you can enjoy...I know I was feeling the same way you are after our second child, and this actually got me aroused.

What about phone sex...or cyber sex if two computers are available?

 

[Mstrskey]

Thanks to all....

for your replies so far.

Bobmi~ I wouldn't say hubby has been putting " pressure" on me for sex per say, just having his usual sex drive which is generally speaking higher then mine anyway, but especially now. He's really just been asking me about alternatives other then masturbation for a little release. Like alot of men I know he can get pretty damned grouchy if he hasn't had any in a while and he's trying to avoid that.
I hadn't thought about the helping him with his masturbation idea, and I might give that a try, but it just seems like anything involving sex is a turn off for me right now and I'd hate to say I'd do it and then be mentally going over the grocery list in my head.

ldlarry~ BJs are out for 2 reasons and both are really stupid but you know the female psyche, once we have something in our heads...lol!
reason #1- like I said, I just can't get into anything sexual right now. I tried gearing myself up for a BJ and the minute his cock got near my mouth I started to get sick to my stomach. I'm pretty sure even if I got past the sexual revulsion issue that I'd be to distracted keeping an ear out for Olivia or one of the other girls to give a halfway decent one. Not that he'd be giving a critique at that point right?...lol.
reason #2- if he cums on me the baby smells the new odor and won't latch on to nurse...even if I shower afterwards! I can't get around to swallowing for a similar reason...the issue of it somehow " flavoring" the breastmilk. ( which I know is stupid but still makes a stumbling block.)

crazybbw~ As for the breastmilk thing...hubby has never had an interest. Believe me there are times I'd sell my soul for a chance to let my milk down but alas....no desire on the hubby's part.

hotred~ glad I'm not the only one this happens to. I'll be glad when it passes, and I know hubby will too.

 

[English Lady]

Well i remeber in that drought after having my daughter(I was a strange one I longed to have sex again after only a couple of weeks after giving birth) I used to talk dirty to hubby whilst he masturbated,occassionally giving him my hand to help him along the way......talk dirty,read him a sexy story,let him look at you all naked(that always seems to help my hubby) and I am sure he'll not implode with the sexual pressure building up inside him*L*

 

[ldlarry52]

Glad you are concern about taking care of hubby. I understand your position as well. Perhaps you could do a light whole body massage for him. The two of you naked of course. Then give him a handjob if the lights are off or very dim he won't be able to tell from facial expressions what you are thinking he will be enjoying his wife's wonderful hands on his hard cock.
As for breast milk. He needs to at least try one good mouth filling suck. If he doesn't at some point he may wish he had taken the opportunity.
I know from experience it's like warm sweet milk.
LDLarry52

 

[Limbhugger]

Oh man, I have SOOO been there! Mrs. had much troubles with our first one and doc cut me off completely. Went about five months. She came premmie as well. But then still had the six weeks of no-no. Then not too long after she was born it was off to Desert Storm for seven months.

We used to joke that the first couple years of our marriage we were damned near celibate.

Like Bob said, it is just something he has to work through. Hand jobs help but they can be less than satisfying if you know your wife is only going through the motions. Well, for me at least. Maybe this is a good time to find out if hubby has a secret foot fetish...lol. Or send him to the toy store for something all his own.

Not a whole lot that "makes-up" for the real thing though so in the end it will all be about patience. Oh and for whetever it's worth, I hated breast milk. Blucky! But that's just me...lol.

Hugger

 

[Voosla]

The only suggestion I can offer is much like one already mentioned. The two of you can stimulate sex with him in between your thighs. Personally, I think spooning positions work best for this. And it's something the both of you can enjoy...I know I was feeling the same way you are after our second child, and this actually got me aroused.

My hubby and I did that after our kid was born. Lubed up my upper inner thigh, and I crossed my legs. But to warn ya, I was really getting into it and let him slide up closer to the true goal, and he almost penetrated. After 16 stitches, that woulda hurt.

 

[Mstrskey]

Oh man, I have SOOO been there! Mrs. had much troubles with our first one and doc cut me off completely. Went about five months. She came premmie as well. But then still had the six weeks of no-no. Then not too long after she was born it was off to Desert Storm for seven months.

We used to joke that the first couple years of our marriage we were damned near celibate.

Like Bob said, it is just something he has to work through. Hand jobs help but they can be less than satisfying if you know your wife is only going through the motions. Well, for me at least. Maybe this is a good time to find out if hubby has a secret foot fetish...lol. Or send him to the toy store for something all his own.

Not a whole lot that "makes-up" for the real thing though so in the end it will all be about patience. Oh and for whetever it's worth, I hated breast milk. Blucky! But that's just me...lol.

Hugger

LOL....I was joking with him the other day that if it'd help him out I'd drop a few bucks outta the budget for a "professional".
In truth I can't really complain except to say he's taken over the computer reading erotica, (and he's even been writing a bit of his own ,not my cup of tea sexually, but as far as writing goes it's a big jump for him.) and he's been spending alot of time in the bathroom.
Hugger you've hit the nail on the head my friend...if I'm not into it as well he doesn't really want me to "go thru the motions". I may have to check out the toy stores though and see if we can't find something fun to help pass the time with. Oh and Hubby has actually tried the breastmilk, it's just never been a turn on for him.

Larry~ I know he'd love the body massage idea...even without the handjob!

Voosla~ 16 STICHES!!! Ouch! I had 14 with my first and think that's what ruined my opinion of post-partum sex.

 

[_Milky_Whites_]

First....congrats on the new baby!!
I know that this is a hard time for you and adding the pressure of worrying about your hubby isnt going to help. But I understand, Ive been there. Over....and over....and over...lol. I have 4 kids. I'll admit, I craved sex after a week or two. Not much that brings my drive down. But during that first week or two it was never on my mind. And I was also high risk like you, with my last being born early, so no sex before birth. I tried to offer my hubby bjs or handjobs. There wasnt a lot else that I could do. I know that your hubby is frustrated. We all are when we really have alot of sexual buildup. But he will be alright. He's an adult, he can live with it. I wouldnt worry so much. Just offer him a little help occasionally. Show him youre still concerned. Otherwise, just take care of yourself right now. Youre the one who's been through everything. And maybe, in a few weeks and with plenty of rest, youll be up to the job again. Until then, I promise ya he'll be ok.
Again....congrats!!

 

[5pintshefound]

hey hun.. ok, heres my 2cents worth.. you may remember that im preggers right now with kiddo #2... for me, im just hit 29 weeks today... and theres already a lot of times that we cant do anyhting {babys sitting really low, and it hurts for any kind of deep penetration}... my only advice for you is, try the toys.. i know my husband has a couple of man toys {lol- didnt know what else to call 'em}, and he really seems to enjoy them.. also, penthouse sells their stories in book form, you can find it at borders... I got my husband these while he was on ship, during his last med cruise. pictoral porn is not allowed to be sent, but book form is ok. Anyway... lol, i hope this helps!!! just remmeber that this too shall pass.. i promise.. and its gonna go by quicker than you {and hubby} think. keep me updated on the kiddo?? im going in sometime in the next couple a weeks for another ultrasound... cant wait!!!
~~5PHF

 

[Mstrskey]

5PHF~ lemme know how the ultrasound goes. I sympathize w/ a low sitting little one...that was my lil Olivia for the last 2 months of my pregnancy. I thought she was going to break my pelvis for a while there and it was a sexual nightmare since I need deep penetration to have a serious orgasm.
The "man toys" thing almost made me pee my pants! I have seen the penthouse books though, they also sell them at Waldenbooks in the relationship section of all places...lol!!!
The little one is doing well, I'm pleased to say. She keeps me on my toes but then again all she has to do is snuggle that little head against my chest and I forget every hour of sleep I've missed and every pain in the butt of new mommyhood.

Milky~ thanks for the congrats. I will say I'm impressed that hubby hasn't been to whiny about the lack of sex so far. We've been joking about it alot to help with the tension but there are still times it's the proverbial white Elephant in the room. ...oh well, I have to hope that we'll just be to busy to even think about trying again until the restriction has been lifted.

I hope this works...this is the source of all the trouble...my sweet little " Libby"

 

[_Milky_Whites_]

Ooooooh.........she's absolutely beautiful!!! It seems like I cant even remember mine being that small. I just adore the chance to hold tiny sweet little bundles like that. So innocent and perfect.
But....then they grow up!!! lol

 

[Mstrskey]

Ah yes, that they do. I almost can't remember the 9 yr. old being that small, but she was. I know if they stayed so small, soft, and snuggly we'd probably have a heck of alot more of them around here...lol!

oh...update...we tried the sliding between the ass crack suggestion last night with great results. Since he had the body oil out anyway I got treated to a fantastic backrub first and as the hubby is an avid assman (and I rarely let anyone near the backdoor) he thoroughly enjoyed spending that much time playing with my ass. I'll admit it wasn't to sexy having to express milk first so I wouldn't drip all over the damn sheets from being on my belly, but the hubby didn't seem to mind waiting for me.
so....keep the suggestions cumming everyone!

 

[Sarah_C]

When I was full of milk, rather than taking time to express first, I would put a thick towel down on the bed. A couple of times I put newspaper under the towel, but it tended to make crackling sounds.

 

[lost5pints]

5PHF~ lemme know how the ultrasound goes. I sympathize w/ a low sitting little one...that was my lil Olivia for the last 2 months of my pregnancy. I thought she was going to break my pelvis for a while there and it was a sexual nightmare since I need deep penetration to have a serious orgasm.
The "man toys" thing almost made me pee my pants! I have seen the penthouse books though, they also sell them at Waldenbooks in the relationship section of all places...lol!!!
The little one is doing well, I'm pleased to say. She keeps me on my toes but then again all she has to do is snuggle that little head against my chest and I forget every hour of sleep I've missed and every pain in the butt of new mommyhood.

glad you liked it..lol.. we're hop[ing that this ultrasound shows us what the sex of the baby is... we both really wanna know what it is {i HATE surprises!!!} your right bout Waldenbooks selling them.. forgot about that.. there isnt a waldens in this area, so i forget about them alot... anyway hope your new years eve is going ok.. we're waiting for freinds to come by..
~ 5PHF {i suppose i should start using my sn more often, but its such a pain in the ass to switch from one to the other..lol}

 

[Mstrskey]

don't always trust the ultrasounds...I was supposed to be having a boy with my first and we were very suprsied when she was born and the docs realized it had been her umbilical cord pushed between her legs and not a penis.

I hope everything turns out well for you on the ultrasound and best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

 

[Texan Missy Jean]

I am sorry that I don't have any advice, seems everyone has been great with ideas, but I wanted to tell you that your little "Libby" is beautiful. Maybe I will get lucky if I try again in a couple years and have a girl. If I do get preggers again, I will have to remember the advice given in this thread.

 

[Mstrskey]

well I'd be happy to give you some of mine, i have 3 girls!
I've gotten some good advice here, so do remember it, some of these ideas are good for anytime sex too.

Thanks alot for the compliment, I think she's adorable, looks just like my other two daughters and I think they're beauties as well.

 

[SylentKnight]

My Exp

I love breastmilk but if that isnt hubby's passion you can do some games in the shower. That way if your milk does let down it is an easy clean up. I think that if you give him some nice shows of changing into sexy lingerie - it doesn't have to beform fitting that wil work as well. The otheriidea I have is to spend time telling him graphically what you remember as favorite sex times form the past and what the two of you can look forward to in the future.

If hewants some male thoughts on the positive side of a lactating female have him PM me!