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Killishandra said:
But if I have to choose, okay, mouth-slave then. Or anal.
Oh, the fantasies that go through a man's head, with such a statement. And, surely you know how I enjoy anal. And trust me, I'm quite skilled at getting what I want, too.
 
DVS said:
Oh, and Killishandra, special fighting skills could be allowed, but if you somehow damage your opponent and she can't perform her job functions, you could be forced to do her job as well as yours, until she heals. Just keep that in mind.

Wasn't that my ulterior motive all along?

ALL those other bitches are going DOWN! *mwahaha*
 
Killishandra said:
Wasn't that my ulterior motive all along?

ALL those other bitches are going DOWN! *mwahaha*
I guess "forced" wasn't the correct word to use, huh? :D
 
Killishandra said:
I'm guessing it's just their little "trademark" or whatever... 5 coins for the 5 collars. Who the heck knows? The guy's a delusional egomaniac, in my opinion. Who knows where he comes up with this stuff. :rolleyes:

Oh and don't worry about the in-house fighting. I've got your back. Whoever messes with ya is going down. ;)
Maybe he was referring to them as token sluts. Tokens are coins, kind of a play on words? OK, maybe I'm giving this guy too much credit.

I'll agree he's just a delusional egomaniac.
 
DVS said:
Maybe he was referring to them as token sluts. Tokens are coins, kind of a play on words? OK, maybe I'm giving this guy too much credit.

I'll agree he's just a delusional egomaniac.

*nods* WAY too much credit. In fact, you should usurp his crown, steal his alpha female, and take over from here on out. Changing, of course, the account to what you wrote... which is much, much hotter than the dribble he has up now. :catroar:
 
Killishandra said:
I'm guessing it's just their little "trademark" or whatever... 5 coins for the 5 collars. Who the heck knows? The guy's a delusional egomaniac, in my opinion. Who knows where he comes up with this stuff. :rolleyes:

Oh and don't worry about the in-house fighting. I've got your back. Whoever messes with ya is going down. ;)

Thanks Killi! :) I wonder if any submissives ever write that guy demanding to see the coin and collar first, lol.

Long live the South!
http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/113520/details.htm

(I'm actually kind of into this sort of thing. If only I were black... I have wished that a hundreds times.)
 
TaintedB said:
Thanks Killi! :) I wonder if any submissives ever write that guy demanding to see the coin and collar first, lol.

Long live the South!
http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/113520/details.htm

(I'm actually kind of into this sort of thing. If only I were black... I have wished that a hundreds times.)

Raceplay = very hot. :) It wasn't even an interest of mine until Marquis introduced me to it. Even though we barely scratched the surface, I can tell it has deep erotic posibilities... I am very interested in "roleplay" where my partner's dominance stems from something intrinsic. (i.e., he is dominant because of his gender, or his race, or whatnot.)

(My friend L is going to let me borrow a DVD porno with the race-play theme, shhhhhh!
) :D
 
TaintedB said:
LOL that's right. I forgot about your Jeet kune do! Ok, I would fight the other bitches but, being a smart sub, I wouldn't fight you.

Any idea what the five coins means in the ad you posted that started all this? Does he give each sub a physical coin? Or does it refer to their being approx. five coins in US currency?

I saw a website some time ago called "3 Coins" that referred to polyamorous triads. Could be a takeoff of that.
 
Killishandra said:
Raceplay = very hot. :) It wasn't even an interest of mine until Marquis introduced me to it. Even though we barely scratched the surface, I can tell it has deep erotic posibilities... I am very interested in "roleplay" where my partner's dominance stems from something intrinsic. (i.e., he is dominant because of his gender, or his race, or whatnot.)

(My friend L is going to let me borrow a DVD porno with the race-play theme, shhhhhh!
) :D

Let us know what you think of it! I have only seen short clips of that stuff, but I find it very hot. I also used to lurk in the Black Men and Women Rule the Whites sex clubs on yahoo. Too shy to speak up in those places, but they were fun to read. :)

Hey, I have a collarme question for you. An online friend of mine recently let me lurk on her collarme profile and read the sorts of responses she gets (nothing too personal there--if she likes someone she takes them to another email account). But there were lots of initial responses to her ad to read. She is a very beautiful woman and she has a photo up. She also has a good ad, IMO. But in all the responses she's gotten, not one man has told her he finds her beautiful or sexy. I found that pretty surprising. Don't men know that women like to hear that sort of thing, lol?

You are also very beautiful, it goes without saying. Do any of the collarme guys who wrote you take the time to tell you they think you are attractive? I wonder if that is something that is just not cool to do on a bdsm personals board.

It certainly isn't the rule on the vanilla personals places. I have another friend on one of those straight sites--she is kinky but prefers to do her hunting in the vanilla venues. Men on that system tell her all the time how goodlooking she is, but maybe that is because she is a femdom?
 
TaintedB said:
Let us know what you think of it! I have only seen short clips of that stuff, but I find it very hot. I also used to lurk in the Black Men and Women Rule the Whites sex clubs on yahoo. Too shy to speak up in those places, but they were fun to read. :)

Hey, I have a collarme question for you. An online friend of mine recently let me lurk on her collarme profile and read the sorts of responses she gets (nothing too personal there--if she likes someone she takes them to another email account). But there were lots of initial responses to her ad to read. She is a very beautiful woman and she has a photo up. She also has a good ad, IMO. But in all the responses she's gotten, not one man has told her he finds her beautiful or sexy. I found that pretty surprising. Don't men know that women like to hear that sort of thing, lol?

You are also very beautiful, it goes without saying. Do any of the collarme guys who wrote you take the time to tell you they think you are attractive? I wonder if that is something that is just not cool to do on a bdsm personals board.

It certainly isn't the rule on the vanilla personals places. I have another friend on one of those straight sites--she is kinky but prefers to do her hunting in the vanilla venues. Men on that system tell her all the time how goodlooking she is, but maybe that is because she is a femdom?

I get comments like those all the time.. I'm not sure why your friend doesn't get them on her account.
 
I'm getting pissed off with Collarme. I recently edited my profile and I think it's pretty sharp if I may say so myself. I am there under the name DonatienDeSade if you are curious. In any case, I can't get a response to save my life.


Are there any real single women on this site, or am I turning them off somehow without even realizing it. The sad thing is, I'm not even making any overt gestures, just offering to talk!
 
Marquis said:
I'm getting pissed off with Collarme. I recently edited my profile and I think it's pretty sharp if I may say so myself. I am there under the name DonatienDeSade if you are curious. In any case, I can't get a response to save my life.


Are there any real single women on this site, or am I turning them off somehow without even realizing it. The sad thing is, I'm not even making any overt gestures, just offering to talk!

Are you writing them or waiting for them to write you?

A collarme trick I've observed: Get on the site. Go into your email. Leave your email and cruise a few profiles. In 2-3 mins. go into your email again, leave again. This email-out again thing causes your name to appear at the top of searches (which sort by who was last on). Lots of people just scan the front page of a search, kind of like here where lots of people just scan the first page of threads in a forum section. So the idea is to keep putting your name up near the top of the list so you get noticed? My ugly ID is always doing this when I'm talking to my girlfriend who hangs out there and I've noticed that it goes to the top of the list every time when I exit the email. (I still don't get any offers, lolol!) Sometimes someone will see your name in a list and think Hmm... Neat name want to click on it after I look at this one first but by the time they finish with the first guy, your name has been pushed down onto a second or third page, and unless they are persistent (as I was when I was finding profile links to post in my threads) they won't be able to find you.

I'll look at your profile again and post some feedback. Lots of straight women seem to wait for the man to write them however, kind of like they wait in a bar for the man to approach them.
 
Killishandra said:
I get comments like those all the time.. I'm not sure why your friend doesn't get them on her account.

(shrug) I don't know either. I'd hit on her if I was a hetero guy. But maybe that's just because I like her. :)
 
Marquis said:
I'm getting pissed off with Collarme. I recently edited my profile and I think it's pretty sharp if I may say so myself. I am there under the name DonatienDeSade if you are curious. In any case, I can't get a response to save my life.


Are there any real single women on this site, or am I turning them off somehow without even realizing it. The sad thing is, I'm not even making any overt gestures, just offering to talk!

I just read it. I think it might come off a little strange that you spend 50% of the profile talking about being bi-polar, but I guess in the end it forewarns people and saves you the repetitive process of telling every interesting sex/friend candidate about it.

Overall, a good profile though. Good luck with your search...
 
OK, profile feedback:

It's very honest and direct. I really like that. Expresses your personality, too, although I would advise, as I've suggested to other guys on here whose profiles I've seen, that you "sex it up a bit." Women, well maybe not all women but a good number of us like to read something that sends us into an emotional-sexual swoon. :) Not one of those awful awkward fantasys but an honest description of some mean and hot things you like to do. You've got a little of that already in the profile, just turn up the heat a bit. :)

Ok, with that said, here's what else I would do?

Shorten and sharpen it: save these items below in a text file as boilerplate to send to someone whom you have a couple of exchanges with first. But tell them that it is boilerplate when you send it and tell them that you're doing so in order to avoid having to retype it each time you reply to somebody and sandwich the bolierplate in between personal remarks so they aren't offended that you are sending them a form letter. Only the smart ones will notice this, but they are the ones you want to attract, right?

* the stuff about what you are doing in your life (school, career)
* your personal history
* your bipolar thing

These are things that are good to disclose early on in a conversation with someone but I don't think they work well on a profile because they make the profile kind of long and they don't and substantially to the interest value of the profile. Remember lots of women are cruising this site looking for sexually compatible people. They don't necessarily want to know all those other details until you catch their eye.

This next one is hard to talk about. Killi, who is open to poly, is a rare bird. A great many women are looking for the opposite: a man they can have to themselves, so your mention of your sub makes them instantly stop reading and move on to the next profile. I don't suggest you lie, Marquis, but you have to also accept that fact that your openness about having another sub is going to deter a lot of women. At very least I would take her profile name off. Women who see you are already going to be intimidated by your beauty. If they see that you also have a great looking sub with a hot body, they're going to further DQ themselves in their own minds (some women do this even when they are very nice looking) and once again, you won't get responses. This is going to sound kind of crass, but the standard thing you do in a sales pitch is get the potential buyer hooked on whatever it is your are selling first and put the fine print (the details that they might think twice about if they weren't already enthused about you) at the end. That's what I think you should do with your mention of your sub and your polyamory. Hook them first with what an interesting sexy person you are, and then, when they read the fact that you already have a slave it won't deter them so strongly because they've already read the rest of your profile and been drawn in by it.

Ok, that's the profile suggestions I have. If you are writing women whose profiles you like, what are you saying? If you are writing only 1 or 2 lines, well no wonder you aren't getting responses. People like it a lot when you demonstrate that you've read their profiles and are responding to them specifically in your email. Lots of times women who get a lot of email on that place will not answer someone who just writes a line or two. They won't even click your name to see your profile. They figure that if you're willing to put so little effort into them, why should they put any into you? Make the email sexy and intimate and toppy, if you are interested in the woman that way, let her know you are interested, but don't make any of the overt mistakes like trying to order her around or insisting she call you sir even though she doesn't know you. Also if the woman says on her profile she isn't interested in polyamory or in dominants who already have slaves, don't write her. She won't be interested, and she might even be mad that yet another arrogant dominant has chosen to ignore her hard limits.

That's all I can say in general. Without seeing what you're writing to people I can't tell specifically if there's anything in it that is turning them off. I do think though that your already having a slave is your biggest handicap in this market. Contemplating sharing a dominant, and, in fact, being the second sub not the first, is really hard for many women. You could do a search on Poly on that place, but it probably wouldn't be worth your time because the majority of profilles that come up would say "no poly," and the ones that came up that were pro-poly relationships would be those ones from those hard working subs out recruiting a "sister" for their existing master.

There is nothing wrong with you personally Marquis, you'd get tons of replies if you were single.
 
Killishandra said:
I just read it. I think it might come off a little strange that you spend 50% of the profile talking about being bi-polar, but I guess in the end it forewarns people and saves you the repetitive process of telling every interesting sex/friend candidate about it.

Overall, a good profile though. Good luck with your search...


Oh well, I'm not really on a search for anything in particular, just looking to make friends really.
 
TaintedB said:
OK, profile feedback:

It's very honest and direct. I really like that. Expresses your personality, too, although I would advise, as I've suggested to other guys on here whose profiles I've seen, that you "sex it up a bit." Women, well maybe not all women but a good number of us like to read something that sends us into an emotional-sexual swoon. :) Not one of those awful awkward fantasys but an honest description of some mean and hot things you like to do. You've got a little of that already in the profile, just turn up the heat a bit. :)

Ok, with that said, here's what else I would do?

Shorten and sharpen it: save these items below in a text file as boilerplate to send to someone whom you have a couple of exchanges with first. But tell them that it is boilerplate when you send it and tell them that you're doing so in order to avoid having to retype it each time you reply to somebody and sandwich the bolierplate in between personal remarks so they aren't offended that you are sending them a form letter. Only the smart ones will notice this, but they are the ones you want to attract, right?

* the stuff about what you are doing in your life (school, career)
* your personal history
* your bipolar thing

These are things that are good to disclose early on in a conversation with someone but I don't think they work well on a profile because they make the profile kind of long and they don't and substantially to the interest value of the profile. Remember lots of women are cruising this site looking for sexually compatible people. They don't necessarily want to know all those other details until you catch their eye.

This next one is hard to talk about. Killi, who is open to poly, is a rare bird. A great many women are looking for the opposite: a man they can have to themselves, so your mention of your sub makes them instantly stop reading and move on to the next profile. I don't suggest you lie, Marquis, but you have to also accept that fact that your openness about having another sub is going to deter a lot of women. At very least I would take her profile name off. Women who see you are already going to be intimidated by your beauty. If they see that you also have a great looking sub with a hot body, they're going to further DQ themselves in their own minds (some women do this even when they are very nice looking) and once again, you won't get responses. This is going to sound kind of crass, but the standard thing you do in a sales pitch is get the potential buyer hooked on whatever it is your are selling first and put the fine print (the details that they might think twice about if they weren't already enthused about you) at the end. That's what I think you should do with your mention of your sub and your polyamory. Hook them first with what an interesting sexy person you are, and then, when they read the fact that you already have a slave it won't deter them so strongly because they've already read the rest of your profile and been drawn in by it.

Ok, that's the profile suggestions I have. If you are writing women whose profiles you like, what are you saying? If you are writing only 1 or 2 lines, well no wonder you aren't getting responses. People like it a lot when you demonstrate that you've read their profiles and are responding to them specifically in your email. Lots of times women who get a lot of email on that place will not answer someone who just writes a line or two. They won't even click your name to see your profile. They figure that if you're willing to put so little effort into them, why should they put any into you? Make the email sexy and intimate and toppy, if you are interested in the woman that way, let her know you are interested, but don't make any of the overt mistakes like trying to order her around or insisting she call you sir even though she doesn't know you. Also if the woman says on her profile she isn't interested in polyamory or in dominants who already have slaves, don't write her. She won't be interested, and she might even be mad that yet another arrogant dominant has chosen to ignore her hard limits.

That's all I can say in general. Without seeing what you're writing to people I can't tell specifically if there's anything in it that is turning them off. I do think though that your already having a slave is your biggest handicap in this market. Contemplating sharing a dominant, and, in fact, being the second sub not the first, is really hard for many women. You could do a search on Poly on that place, but it probably wouldn't be worth your time because the majority of profilles that come up would say "no poly," and the ones that came up that were pro-poly relationships would be those ones from those hard working subs out recruiting a "sister" for their existing master.

There is nothing wrong with you personally Marquis, you'd get tons of replies if you were single.

Excellent advice all around.

I'll take it all into account when it's time for a proper hunt.
 
TaintedB said:
Well, if the guy is really 25, he hasn't seen all that many years to be seeing the changes he says he's seen. But, I do tend to agree with some of his findings, because I'm a man in his early 50s, although I'm not over weight.

I do own my own home, free and clear, although I don't mention any material matters such as that, the size of my bank account or the size of my cock.

What bothers me about this guy's testing was he always picked the 50s guy for his "likely to get rejected" test profile.

Should I rethink my profile...maybe change my age to...say...49? :D

If only some nice submissive would answer my messages, I've got a steak dinner of my own to serve her.
 
DVS said:
Well, if the guy is really 25, he hasn't seen all that many years to be seeing the changes he says he's seen. But, I do tend to agree with some of his findings, because I'm a man in his early 50s, although I'm not over weight.

I do own my own home, free and clear, although I don't mention any material matters such as that, the size of my bank account or the size of my cock.

What bothers me about this guy's testing was he always picked the 50s guy for his "likely to get rejected" test profile.

Should I rethink my profile...maybe change my age to...say...49? :D

If only some nice submissive would answer my messages, I've got a steak dinner of my own to serve her.



If I changed my age to 29, I bet I would get a lot more responses myself.

I think 35-45 is really like the Dominant age sweetspot for picking up chicks.
 
DVS said:
Well, if the guy is really 25, he hasn't seen all that many years to be seeing the changes he says he's seen. But, I do tend to agree with some of his findings, because I'm a man in his early 50s, although I'm not over weight.

I do own my own home, free and clear, although I don't mention any material matters such as that, the size of my bank account or the size of my cock.

What bothers me about this guy's testing was he always picked the 50s guy for his "likely to get rejected" test profile.

Should I rethink my profile...maybe change my age to...say...49? :D

If only some nice submissive would answer my messages, I've got a steak dinner of my own to serve her.

LOL, I'm sure you do, DVS! And since you don't keep it waiting in the freezer, it's gotten nice and ripe! ;) But you know, if you were one of those dom-male, dom-female couples on collarme, I but you'd be serving surf and turf.

I think that the guy who did these tests says at the end of his profile that he is actually in his 50s but that if he put his real age up nobody would read his results. That, I think, isn't exactly right. A lot of sub women in the 30-something range who want the daddy-daughter dynamic see late 40s to early 50s as the perfect "dad" age. Although by making his profile say 25 he insures that a wider variety of people will look at the ad--I think.

I also wish he had done more tests. Like done the 20s vs. the 40s decades.

And something about his conclusions about his results seemed bizarre. Ok, I remember what it was. The golddigger crap. He and his friends associate a gold digger with a woman who doesn't want to work outside the home. To me though, the sterotypical golddigger wants much more than not to work: she wants the leisure time that lots of money buys to spend indugling whatever her vices or pleasures are: shopping, parties, travel, etc. A lot of submissive women on that site just seem to be seeking the female traditional role: homemaker, which, in a normal not-rich-enough-for-servants household involves _lots_ of hard labor, particularly if children result from the union. But in order for them to serve in the manner that they imagine is ideal, their partner needs to be the breadwinner. I guess you could call them "silver diggers?"

There's more to it than that: submissives seeking long-term relationships, I think, have a basic need to be "taken care of." For some of us, that "taken care of feeling" comes from the emotional support/control that the dominant provides. If a sub has never experienced that sort of support before, however, she may not be able to imagine how encompassing it can be, and so she substitutes in her mind a close physical equivelent: being financially supported.

A lot of sub women also confuse traditional power conferred by an instituition (power you don't have simply because you are you but because the governement or a corporation confers it upon you) with personal power. That last one is a big problem for single submissives because it causes them to choose really unsuitable people for mates: guys that aren't actually dominant, but just seem that way or imagine they are because of outside props. Take those props away and what you've got is your basic vanilla guy with a big ego and the insecurity that lies underneath it.

DVS, if you do change your age on your profile, you ought to go for some number in the 30s, lol. You could pass well for someone in that decade, I think. That is honestly where I had you pegged before you listed your actual age. I think I gauged you at that age becuase you seem to know a lot about some things that I associate with the "20-something to 30-something knowledge base."
 
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Marquis said:
If I changed my age to 29, I bet I would get a lot more responses myself.

I think 35-45 is really like the Dominant age sweetspot for picking up chicks.

Bingo! Have I ever told you you are very smart, Marquis? ;) I think that is exactly right, in terms of overall numbers. You fill the "daddy" need that many 20-somethings have if you are in that range, you're old enough then to be financially established and so fill the submissive "support" need I talked about above, and you're also not so young that an older sub or one in the same age range will reject you out of hand, as a woman in her 40s or 50s will often reject the idea of a 20-something dom.

There is probably a good number of very young sub women (late teens early 20s) who are more traditionally vanilla and find someone in his 30s too old for them. In fact, I saw some guy in his early 30s complaining in his blog thing about this rude reply he recevied from one such girl. She told him he was "too old and too ugly," but I still think that sub women with that attitude are in the minority.
 
TaintedB said:
DVS, if you do change your age on your profile, you ought to go for some number in the 30s, lol. You could pass well for someone in that decade, I think. That is honestly where I had you pegged before you listed your actual age. I think I gauged you at that age becuase you seem to know a lot about some things that I associate with the "20-something to 30-something knowledge base."
I guess I"m pretty spry for my age? Actually, all of the siblings in my family must look and act younger than our age. I sometimes have to show my driver's license to prove I'm as old as I am. And, yes, for some reason 35 is about the age a lot of people think I am.

I'm told it's because I smile a lot. LOL. :rolleyes:
 
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