Post baseless lies about the person above you - Version Four

[DarkSimian]

(that made me laugh)

Has color coordinated binders for his comics based on the color of their "super suit".

Believes "crotchless" shouldn't be optional

 

[PapaRomantic]

Believes "crotchless" shouldn't be optional

Is living proof that "everything" isn't necessarily bigger in Texas.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Is living proof that "everything" isn't necessarily bigger in Texas.

He's conveniently never home when the paperboy comes to collect.

 

[DarkSimian]

He's conveniently never home when the paperboy comes to collect.

Stands on the street corner yelling "Extra, extra!" for no reason

 

[DeckardNYC]

Stands on the street corner yelling "Extra, extra!" for no reason

He's the guy the used to fill the sugar container with salt.

 

[PapaRomantic]

He's the guy the used to fill the sugar container with salt.

He literally does not have enough sense to come in out of the rain. Last time he stood there, looking up with his mouth open, when the rain drops started hitting him on the head, and he nearly drowned.

 

[DeckardNYC]

He literally does not have enough sense to come in out of the rain. Last time he stood there, looking up with his mouth open, when the rain drops started hitting him on the head, and he nearly drowned.

Has the distinction of being the only person ever arrested for indecent exposure at a nudist resort.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Has the distinction of being the only person ever arrested for indecent exposure at a nudist resort.

Needs a belt and suspenders for his socks to stay up.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Doesn't know how much she's teasing us

 

[Taegul]

He was president of the David Hasselhoff fan club for 8 years until the restraining order.

 

[DeckardNYC]

He was president of the David Hasselhoff fan club for 8 years until the restraining order.

Raises mosquitoes as a hobby.

 

[CamronsInsider]

Spent 5 years as a Dollar General mystery shopper. Coincidentally, holds the Guinness World Record for the largest collection of empty Stove Top Stuffing boxes.

 

[gentold]

has the largest question bank on all subjects
but no answers

 

[DeckardNYC]

has the largest question bank on all subjects
but no answers

Spent a fortune traveling the world, searching for the meaning of life, only to come to believe he discovered it, sitting at home, inside a fortune cookie.

 

[Devlishone4fun]

Spent a fortune traveling the world, searching for the meaning of life, only to come to believe he discovered it, sitting at home, inside a fortune cookie.

is cursed by a magical talking peanut that makes all his lies come true

 

[CamronsInsider]

is cursed by a magical talking peanut that makes all his lies come true

Is the last person on record to receive a citation for jay walking during Mardi Gras

 

[DeckardNYC]

Is the last person on record to receive a citation for jay walking during Mardi Gras

Dreams of moving to New York to be an Elmo character in Times Square.

 

[Taegul]

Dreams of moving to New York to be an Elmo character in Times Square.

He doesn't give the slightest shit if you don't approve of the 18 Backstreet Boys posters hanging in his bedroom.

 

[DeckardNYC]

He doesn't give the slightest shit if you don't approve of the 18 Backstreet Boys posters hanging in his bedroom.

Taught his kids to play chess . . . but with "house rules," so he always wins.

 

[Gamine67]

Won’t eat anything containing riboflavin and prefers moldy cheese.

 

[gentold]

an earth mover driver

 

[DeckardNYC]

an earth mover driver

Responsible for deforestation of the entire state of Iowa.

 

[gentold]

Responsible for deforestation of the entire state of Iowa.

shaves pubes with a flick of his fingers

 

[starrynightin64]

shaves pubes with a flick of his fingers

walks around all day looking for a lost Ox

 

[DarkSimian]

walks around all day looking for a lost Ox

Named her vagina "The Heart of Texas" so Texans could be deep in her