~Post baseless lies about the person above you - V.6~

[AlwaysDancing]

If we can make the Santa for shrimp deal happen I'll throw in a case of Zooey Deschanel toenail clipping infused KitKats. But that's my final offer. Santa's secret location, a VHS tape of me and Ron Swanson, and a case of ZD toenail candy. I think that's more than fair.

Makes people spit-take their coffee because it’s erotic and soon there will be an online porn demand for it.

 

[Jodaily]

Is a barista at Starbucks so he can check out all the silly girls coming in ordering odd coffees, and the dirty old men watching them. He was one of these dirty old men and decided getting paid was a bonus.

 

[kellyt1994]

His job at Starbucks is an ideal cover for his real job abducting support animals and selling them to a nearby Pakistani restaurant for undisclosed purposes. Sources tell us that he makes dozens of dollars off this nefarious scheme.

 

[Japansurfer]

Kelly used to work at Starbucks but got fired for asking a customer to tie her up and fuck her. She then proceeded to work in hospitality and was very good at keeping guests relaxed in their rooms or by the pools. Some wives or husbands caught her but would never say anything as they ultimately enjoyed watching Kelly satisfy her guests.

 

[Jodaily]

Thoroughly enjoyed and took full advantage of Kelly’s “hospitality “

 

[EctoJohn]

Once made a fortune as one of the original Bitcoin investors, but eventually lost most of it playing scratch off lottery tickets.

 

[cactusjack0584]

Once dressed up as Toto from the wizard of oz for Halloween but everyone thought he was a furry…

 

[kellyt1994]

Once made a fortune as one of the original Bitcoin investors, but eventually lost most of it playing scratch off lottery tickets.

Used to pay me to help scratch those tickets. I thought the slutty Boy Scout uniform was a little weird but a girl does what she can.

 

[kellyt1994]

Kelly used to work at Starbucks but got fired for asking a customer to tie her up and fuck her. She then proceeded to work in hospitality and was very good at keeping guests relaxed in their rooms or by the pools. Some wives or husbands caught her but would never say anything as they ultimately enjoyed watching Kelly satisfy her guests.

Used to work at Bed, Bath, and Beyond but gets really nervous and clams up when you ask what went on in the "Beyond" section.

 

[EctoJohn]

Bought a high quality telescope, but only uses it for peeking in windows.

 

[kellyt1994]

Worries that weirdos with high-quality telescopes are watching him when he plays with his "easy-bake oven".

 

[EctoJohn]

Doesn't know the difference between near and far.

 

[kellyt1994]

Doesn't know the difference between near and far.

Has a complete lack of empathy for the Irish and their uh, . . let's call it "depth perception issues".

 

[peter252]

Uses flower petals for teabags

 

[EctoJohn]

As a hobby, they create art from banana peels.

 

[fakingadulthood]

Had all his blood replaced with ecto cooler and has been running from hi-c’s mercenaries since

 

[EctoJohn]

Is part of the deep state, but only in Alaska.

 

[kellyt1994]

He won 1975's Afro of the Year.

 

[EctoJohn]

Has a bad habit of pulling down the zippers of random strangers in public.

 

[SusanHoward]

Sometimes wears a mirror on his shoe!

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Holds the record for most clergymen de-flocked due to her charms...

 

[kellyt1994]

Holds the record for most clergymen de-flocked due to her charms...

Dreamed of being a cereal de-frocker but just didn't have the grades.

 

[EctoJohn]

Is a metal detector hobbyist, mainly in cemetaries.

 

[kellyt1994]

Is a metal detector hobbyist, mainly in cemetaries.

Is annoyed by gadget-wielding treasure-seekers disturbing his "harem".

 

[peter252]

Is a gadget wielding treasure seeker