Post a naughty limerick about you

[Latina]

Just for fun, why don't we each post a naughty limerick about our real selves. Maybe we can get this one up to 16,000 posts like some other threads that never die.

I'll start off:

There was a curvy nympho named Latina
Whose pussy maintained a dewy patina
For her constant horniness let's thank
Her hunky husband named Frank
Whose tongue daily dined at her cantina

OK, your turn next.

-- Latina

 

[registered "^^"]

there once was

a "^^" from nantucket
his........ wait that's just a dream

 

[*bratcat*]

names have been changed to protect the innocent...

 

[Problem Child]

There once was a girl illegit
Who posted bogus pictures at Lit
She ruined her credibility
With extreme insincerity
And now most know that she's full of shit.

 

[plasticman33]

There was an old hermit named Dave
He lived by himself in a cave
Instead of a bat
He kept a pet cat
And only for her would he save

 

[MissTaken]

silly me

There once was a gal called Miss Taken
Everyone thought she was faking'
The moans and the sighs
The shouts and the cries
Are as real as the cake I am bakin'


Now that is very damn silly.

Happy Friday the 13th all!

 

[Texan]

I really don't mean it

There once was a man called Texan
All those twinkies he found quite perplexin
With the rope in his hand,
He fashioned a knot, and
Made a noose he could put all their necks in.

 

[Andra_Jenny]

There once was a nutcase called A_J
Who came on the board most daily.
Convert me you won’t
The Democrats cried,
Before they came over to my side!

 

[Barb Dwyer]

There once was a girl named BarbDwyer
Who was known for enflaming men's desire
She said I'll try anything one time
Cause it may ring my chime
To what greater height can I aspire?

 

[p_p_man]

Not a naughty one but all I could think of that scans...

p_p_man was an arrogant Brit,
Who's mind was not full of shit,
He'd post and he'd post,
Not so many as most,
But enough to be doing his bit.

 

[p_p_man]

Naughtier? Yes. Better?...

p_p_man wanted to pee,
To pee he wanted to do,
But to confuse all the rest,
He did his damned best,
To produce a small number two!

 

[LRC_]

here goes........

There once was a car named Corvette,
Who picked up a bear she had met,
She drove like a rocket,
To see what was in his pocket,
Amazed, she decided to socket !

 

[lobito]

my limerick

There once was a guy named Lobito
was not caucassion, but latino
he liked ALL the girls
white, yellow & brown
especially when they asked him for "pearls"

 

[Bobby T]

There was a young lad from Nantucket
With a cock so big he could suck it

And he said with a grin
As he wiped of his chin

If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it.

 

[Latina]

So far, Barb Dwyer seems to most on target, with lobito a close second. I sense that both limericks are true reflections of their inner personalities/experiences. I really, REALLY liked them both.

How sad that over 100 looked at this thread, and only 13 could come up with limericks.

How about a limerick for the mistress of this web site? Something like:

There was a foxy lady named Laurel
Who loved to give and receive oral
Manu was her lovin' man
Who devised the Literoitica plan
A place for strangers to freely act immoral

-- Latina

 

[Demian]

Ja-Sheeshj

There once was a girl named BarbDwyer
Who was known for enflaming men's desire
She said I'll try anything one time
Cause it may ring my chime
To what greater height can I aspire?

Bob Dryer SeQuestered Yooth
Who once placed a Tooth
Not Needing Such a Thing
Awoke To NiteTime a Vixen
And Ne'er a Buck to Boot

 

[p_p_man]

Hey I'm getting the hang of this...

A Brit who was haughty and proud
Used to Post and Shout very loud
About the isolationist Yank
(Til he got his group spank)
And now he's one of the crowd.

 

[cactiphile]

I liked the Laurel one best Latina.

Heres my stab at me >

There was a guy called Cactiphile,
Who loved his wife all of the while,
He stroked, he fucked,
He licked, he sucked,
Until he saw her orgasmic smile.

 

[p_p_man]

Running out of steam now...thank god did I hear you say?

George Bush was a man of high rankin'
Who thought that people should thank him
He tried very hard
To gain some regard
But people just thought he was wankin'

 

[Latina]

VERY nice limerick, cactiphile. Your wife sounds like one VERY lucky lady to have such an attentive man!

Every prince might be 5 percent toad
But that reptile tongue makes her explode
If he's kind and loving in bed
She'll give him phenomenal head
And swallow every drop of his load

-- Latina

 

[Barb Dwyer]

For Latina
Our Latina is known for her pics
She links us to photos of dicks
She boasts quite a bit
But backs it up with her tit
Except they all look like different chicks!

For Laurel
Laurel has devised something wicked and evil
Literotica is addictive and causes upheaval
We come back every day
And just want to play
On a board filled with evil boll weevils!

For Demian
I'm sorry if this may sound rude
But did you happen to swallow a Quaalude?
You're always obtuse
Like you've got a screw loose!
That you take drugs is all that I can conclude!

 

[BlondGirl]

All right, I'll try...

There once was a Blondgirl named (Blank)
Who would whine and beg for a spank
When she would behave
Sir would whip his slave
Was lovely fun and hanky pank!

Or how about....


A maiden whose hair was blond
Found a man of whom she was fond
Creative was he
Perfect expertise
His flogger was a magic wand.

 

[Latina]

Of Frank'sexual mastery Latina loves to boast
On Lit this annoys Problem Child the most
Husband #1 gave her almost no sexing
Which Latina found so terribly vexing
But hubby #2 is her stud on the west coast

Latina and Frank's love is wrapped-up in lust
They have it all: commitment, respect, and trust
From the front or the back or in sixty-nine
They show each other SUCH a good time
And after post photos of his cock and her bust

Latina's teenage son named Bobby
Has a most annoying little hobby
He stays in a rage for hours and days
And annoys neighbors with loud music he plays
And delights in how all around him turn crabby

-- Latina

 

[Latina]

She'd wear her black mini, her favorite frock
To signal her man how she craved his hard cock
His fingers juiced her up , all ready to fuck
She'd lick up his cock, then deeply she'd suck
And they'd make love all 'round the clock

-- Latina

 

[beckbabe]

There once was a girl named Beckbabe
It wasn't Beck's beer that she craved
She liked to get laid
And she never got paid
Hey, the kids are asleep, what the heck!