I just finished having a very odd conversation with my girlfriend, in which she said "if you can find a girl we can have a 3-way." This is pretty exicting for me, and i know i can handle it. I'm just looking for advice as to the best way to go about it so i dont end up hurting my Girlfriend in some obsucre way and end the relationship because this girl is worth a million threeways... any advice at all would be helpful. Thanks.
Possible 3 some
- Thread starter WireWolf
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Wolf of Mibu 69
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You know your girlfriend (or at least I hope you do). The wild-card is whomever it is you open your bed to. That's where you need to do the most thinking.
Titania1616
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i think if you involve her in the process of finding your third there will be less possibilities of hurt feelings in the future. i know i would i would feel more comfortable if i were able to get the know the third and play a part in the decision.
just a thought,
just a thought,
SweetErika
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Before you start your search, you need to have a serious conversation about specific boundaries, expectations, and possible scenarios (including negative ones) with her. People suggest going outside the relationship for a variety of reasons including testing trust, exploring sexuality, pleasing their partner, adding variety, and much more. I'm not saying she has an ulterior motive, but given the possible negative outcomes, you need to make sure you both really want this and work everything out before looking. Even then, there's a very real possibility it could destroy your relationship.
There's a wealth of information on this in The Blank Manual stick at the top of this forum, and you might also want to search for articles on threesomes and swinging on google, as it'll give you some idea of the what you need to talk about and consider.
Good luck!
There's a wealth of information on this in The Blank Manual stick at the top of this forum, and you might also want to search for articles on threesomes and swinging on google, as it'll give you some idea of the what you need to talk about and consider.
Good luck!
ReadyOne
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Still, perhaps the old gf knows someone.WireWolf said:
Women can have a 6th sense of who their rivals are, even when the rivals don't declare themselves. So if there is someone from your past who was interested in bedding you that you didn't know about, she may meet your SO's criteria, and you may be able to get a lead on her from an old gf..
The idea here is that if the lady was interested in you then, she might still be interested in you now. Then the problem becomes one of selling her on your SO being there too...
I also note that your SO probably doesn't have someone in mind, or she would have already brought up the name. So, you can suggest a name for your SO to go check out...
funwdi
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Yeah...
This last one is bright, huh? Hmmm...
Anywhoo...the post on bounderies is an excellent suggestion. You should also talk about what is going to happen after. I know that you can't predict your feelings or hers, but REALLY make sure she is WANTING to do this (not just Okay with it).
Here's another possibility: your girl ends up digging other girls for sex. It might sound like a dream cum true, but think about it.
(Have you seen the movie "Sex Monster"?)
This last one is bright, huh? Hmmm...
Anywhoo...the post on bounderies is an excellent suggestion. You should also talk about what is going to happen after. I know that you can't predict your feelings or hers, but REALLY make sure she is WANTING to do this (not just Okay with it).
Here's another possibility: your girl ends up digging other girls for sex. It might sound like a dream cum true, but think about it.
(Have you seen the movie "Sex Monster"?)
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
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Re: Yeah...
That's true...a lot of people suggest bringing a same-sex partner into the bedroom to explore their bi-curiosity if they're afraid their mate will have a problem with them exploring alone. It might be something to ask her about, but even if she does end up liking women, it doesn't necessarily mean your relationship will be ruined.
funwdi said:This last one is bright, huh? Hmmm...
Anywhoo...the post on bounderies is an excellent suggestion. You should also talk about what is going to happen after. I know that you can't predict your feelings or hers, but REALLY make sure she is WANTING to do this (not just Okay with it).
Here's another possibility: your girl ends up digging other girls for sex. It might sound like a dream cum true, but think about it.
(Have you seen the movie "Sex Monster"?)
That's true...a lot of people suggest bringing a same-sex partner into the bedroom to explore their bi-curiosity if they're afraid their mate will have a problem with them exploring alone. It might be something to ask her about, but even if she does end up liking women, it doesn't necessarily mean your relationship will be ruined.
millieteases
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Listen to what everybody is saying here.
If it's emotional distance that's an important part of this, you might try some of the swinger's web sites likeAdult Friend Finder or Swappernet
You have to be careful, of course. Exchange e-mails, meet in very public place the first time and all that.
But deal with the why's and the boundaries and all of the emotional stuff first.
That's why threesomes and other kinds of swinging are still a fantasy for the spouse and me. The idea is tremendously arousing for both of us, but we aren't ready for the realities yet.
Millie, aroused but recommending caution
If it's emotional distance that's an important part of this, you might try some of the swinger's web sites likeAdult Friend Finder or Swappernet
You have to be careful, of course. Exchange e-mails, meet in very public place the first time and all that.
But deal with the why's and the boundaries and all of the emotional stuff first.
That's why threesomes and other kinds of swinging are still a fantasy for the spouse and me. The idea is tremendously arousing for both of us, but we aren't ready for the realities yet.
Millie, aroused but recommending caution
smoothdevil
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Re: Re: Yeah...
Having had a number of FMF experiences with different partners over years, I can throw in a few more sticks into the fire ...
As a male, I have never initiated the request for a 3 some, this so far has always come from the women ... I didn't say I didn't want to, it just turned out that way ...
The female partners were either experienced bi's, bi curious and a few were only bi for the sake of arousing the male partner and hence themselfves ...
SE is very right that it is crutial that the partners understand and communicate their needs and bounderies ...
Some of the ladies did have solo encounters with the women after or even before, to test the grounds so to speak and it did not terminate our relationships, but probably made them more exciting ....
intelligent PM's welcome, but in lieu will accept erotic ones .. lol
SweetErika said:
Having had a number of FMF experiences with different partners over years, I can throw in a few more sticks into the fire ...
As a male, I have never initiated the request for a 3 some, this so far has always come from the women ... I didn't say I didn't want to, it just turned out that way ...
The female partners were either experienced bi's, bi curious and a few were only bi for the sake of arousing the male partner and hence themselfves ...
SE is very right that it is crutial that the partners understand and communicate their needs and bounderies ...
Some of the ladies did have solo encounters with the women after or even before, to test the grounds so to speak and it did not terminate our relationships, but probably made them more exciting ....
intelligent PM's welcome, but in lieu will accept erotic ones .. lol
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