Porn

[fsumusic1981]

My girlfriend and I watched "Busty Beauties #4" the other day. It was an interesting film, nothing too hardcore, just couples having sex. While we watched it, I played with her breasts some, we did a little petting, etc. Nothing too heavy, just using it to get ourselves aroused.

After it was over, we went into our bedroom and I performed oral sex on her. Then, she climbed on top of me and rode me for a little bit. Then we started doing doggy style. I was getting close to orgasm, so I was getting ready to pull out when my dick popped out (She says that this hurts when it happens). So I put it back in and we were going again, then it popped out again.

Then she started crying. I stopped and laid down on the bed with her to try to comfort her. At first she said she was worried about it popping out again and hitting what she calls her "bad spot." Then, as we talked, she said she felt "dirty" for watching porn and that's why she was crying. So I am guessing that porn watching with her may be something I won't experience again.

I have a few questions.

One is that she's never really looked at porn or watched porn, and I am wondering if some of what she was feeling is just because of that. Do you think she could "get over" those feelings by watching more, or becoming more comfortable with the feelings of arousal that porn produces, despite it being "immoral."

I am also wondering if maybe when her orgasm set in, so did her conscience. My question here is for the ladies: Have you ever found yourself aroused by porn, only to find yourself disgusted and ashamed after you reach orgasm and the lust leaves you?

Any advice in regards to this matter would be appreciated. I enjoy sharing the experience of watching porno movies with my girlfriend, they are educational and teach us different positions, and for that reason, I'd like to find a way to continue. But, I am not going to ask her to do something that is going to make her feel bad.

Any input is appreciated.
-Peace

 

[thebicurious1]

I can think of only one thing to say being as I love to watch porn with my husband... talk to her. She will tell you how and why she feels bad. If you explain to her why you like to watch it with her and such, it might help her to understand why you watch. Her feelings might be centering around that... maybe she feels that it somehow indicates that you love each other less or are less attracted to her....

Okay so aside from my nearly unintelligible ramblings... I hope I was at lease some help!

Good Luck!

 

[SensualCealy]

FSUMusic,
This is just coming from my perspective, women generally dont like porn, they rather watch a good and sexy romance. One with heavy petting, lots of insinuation, and sex. I think this turns a woman on more then the "soft or hard core" porn. Women usually think more about what they see, rather then just watching to be turned on. I do like to watch porn, but I rather have a story line behind it.

One movie that comes to mind is "Quills". Once you get passed the Marque's warped mind it actually is a rather passionate movie.
I know it worked for me to the point I bought it! lol

I would sit down and talk to her and ask her what it is that made her feel bad about it, it could be nothing, or it could be she is comparing herself to it, feeling inadiquate. ( please bare with my spelling)

You could next time start off with something a little less performed and more artistic. Its worth a try.

Oh and if you are slipping out and hurting her, maybe she needs to slide her knees back farther, in more of a push up possition. That will keep her closer to you at a better angle.

Good luck,
Cealy

 

[Lust Engine]

This is going to be one of those drawn out processes where you're going to have a heart to heart honest talk with her as to her likes & dislikes. She needs to try to convey to you as to why porn makes her feel this way & you need to explain to her your preference to porn. No one ever said it was going to be easy but if its worthwhile, then it's worth the long honest talk.

Good luck.

 

[College_geek]

This is just coming from my perspective, women generally dont like porn, they rather watch a good and sexy romance. One with heavy petting, lots of insinuation, and sex. I think this turns a woman on more then the "soft or hard core" porn. Women usually think more about what they see, rather then just watching to be turned on. I do like to watch porn, but I rather have a story line behind it.

One movie that comes to mind is "Quills". Once you get passed the Marque's warped mind it actually is a rather passionate movie.
I know it worked for me to the point I bought it! lol

I would have to second this. Occassionally watching porn is fun so that my and Zerg can make fun of it, and I may get a little aroused, but I often feel that all porn is pretty much the same thing. I would prefer a romantic movie that can be sweet and sexy at the same time. I have yet to see "Quills" (although I really want to because I'm a big Rush fan, and Joaquin Phoenix is damn sexy), but one film that comes to my mind is "Love Actually". While this movie is more romantic and sugary than Quills (since I know the basic premise of the movie), but after watching it, I just feel like spending time with my love, which usually leads to some fooling around.

 

[jasmine8316]

She's probably insecure about herself. My guess is that she doesn't feel she measures up to the girls on the film. She probably thinks that you need to see better looking girls to get excited to have sex with her, and now that you have watched it together the thought that having porn in your sex life intimidates her.

If you do watch porn again together, highly doubt it but... make comments like "I bet your ass would look great doing that" etc. She needs to know that the film is for ideas and just initial sexual arousal but that she is the one that seals the deal.

If you would like to do the whole porn thing again, make comments like "I was thinking about that movie and I know I would love to see you doing *insert whatever got you hot and bothered* ".

 

[Vixandra]

To take a different angle- was she raised in a very religious (sp) house hold? If her parents were "hard-core Bible beaters" she may be sub or unconciously programmed to believe that porn is dirty and any enjoyment from it is a sin.
I agree with many others though- talk to her, find out why this upset her so much. Do not ask why in bed or in the bedroom, keep things light, don't accuse don't blame You want her to open up to you about her feelings. If you're close enough to be intimate then you should be close enough to share this and get past it together, IMHO.
Good luck.

 

[Bobmi357]

Romantic Movies....

The only problem with those gushy romantic movies is the girl usually ends up getting all weepy and the guy is at the opposite end of the couch snoring away.

No boobies, no explosions, no fast cars, or tanks, or jets, no fights, attacks on the death star or princess leia getting her bodice ripped away by a lust crazed wookie in heat. Someone wake me up after the movies over so I put in my tape.

 

[horny_boi]

porn is not for everyone.
I am a guy, a VERY horny 18 year old to be exact.
but i do not like porn, sure i get turned on sometimes but after i feel bad, it is enough for me to not bother with it anymore

Lit has slowly opened me up a bit to reading erotic stories and audio stories ( GOD I LOVE THEM! )
so maybe you just need to take it slow with your wife?

off topic.
Bobmi357

No boobies, no explosions, no fast cars, or tanks, or jets, no fights, attacks on the death star or princess leia getting her bodice ripped away by a lust crazed wookie in heat. Someone wake me up after the movies over so I put in my tape.

LOL ! the endless fight to stay awake ! if you fail and drift to sleep, you get yelled at! if you stay awake high chance of some very intimate moments with your partner
well worth it if you ask me!

 

[Falkieri]

porn is not for everyone.
I am a guy, a VERY horny 18 year old to be exact.
but i do not like porn, sure i get turned on sometimes but after i feel bad, it is enough for me to not bother with it anymore

I was rather puzzled by that statement. While I'm not a fan of professional porn myself, usually because its too staged and virtually the same thing every time, I was curious as to why you feel bad if you watch it?

 

[The_old_man]

My comment is going to be a bit different.

I am far more concerned about your 'popping out' causing pain in her 'bad spot' There should have been NO pain when you popped out, and there should be no 'bad spot'. Both of these statements indicate a medical problem. A Doctor at minimum should examine her for preventive care if nothing else. Pain under the stated conditions indicates that something is not right in that area!

 

[fsumusic1981]

My comment is going to be a bit different.

I am far more concerned about your 'popping out' causing pain in her 'bad spot' There should have been NO pain when you popped out, and there should be no 'bad spot'. Both of these statements indicate a medical problem. A Doctor at minimum should examine her for preventive care if nothing else. Pain under the stated conditions indicates that something is not right in that area!

I think her "bad spot" is her urethra. I am not too sure though.

What happens is, I will be thrusting, it will come out just barely and then I will thrust again because it happens so quickly I usually don't notice it.

Any other women have problems with this?

On a side note... I appreciate all of the advice so far. Any other input is always appreciated.

-Peace

 

[freddyandeddy]

My wife and I love porn, especially watching together. She suggests there might be something a bit deeper to her revulsion that you'll need to deal with if you want to continue to explore watching porn further. Of course, starting with the title you mentioned was NOT the best way to go. Try a couple of Playboy titles, which have no penetration or pop shots, and feature amazingly great looking performers of both genders. They have a series called "Couples" that might be your first entre'. Then, if she can get past these, go for Candide Royalle flicks, which are sort-of in-between Playboy and hardcore. They are directed by women, feature "normal" looking cast members, and are always driven by a romantic story of one kind or another. If you graduate past these and wish to venture into hardcore territory, stick with titles from Adam/Eve, such as "Search for the Snow Leopard, Appassionata," and "A Witches Tale." Other titles for consideration are "Forbidden Tales, The Awakening, After Midnight, Elements of Desire," and almost any title from Andrew Blake. Here's an article we wrote for our site on how to watch porn together you might find interesting. Good luck!

 

[Psia]

I don't think that not liking porn means she's insecure with herself. I'm not the biggest fan either. I find it boring and mechanical. Once you've seen one cum shot you've seen them all, it's missing something for me. Everyone says it's a male/female difference, but I'm sure that there are people of both sexes who feel different ways about it. One of my good girlfriends LOVES porn. We both love sex, and we're both normal.

It might just not be something that you all do together. Everyone has things they like/don't like. My husband refuses to try prostate stimulation even though I think he'd like it. That's cool, it's his preference and we do the things we mutually enjoy.

I agree that the bigger issue is her "bad spot." I'm not sure what that could be-surely you're not ramming her urethra that hard. I'd be curious about if she's bruised or has an infection of some kind.

Psia

 

[luvrgurl]

My man and I watch porn every once in awhile and yes it always leads to sex, fooling around, etc. The first time I watched it (when I was 19.....and with him also) I was a little embarassed and uncomfortable. But once I realized that it aroused him (and me as well) and we had some wild sex afterwards, it was fun to watch together. He watches it sometimes by himself and I could care less. To me, it's just another way to be sexual with each other and a way to enjoy each other as well. You GF was probably raised that it was "taboo". Give her some time.


L

 

[sexxyange1]

I can sympathize with the 'dirty' feeling u described ur g/f feeling, but I still like to watch porn as sorta part of the foreplay. When horny porn is very arousing but afterwards u can feel guilty and even dirty. That's why always make sure we flick it off before we really get into it, that way when it's over all I remember is the amazing sex we just had.

 

[sultresweetie]

Heed the infinite wisdom of the mighty PF....

Ooooooo... you need a dirty woman...
Ooooooo... you need a dirty girl....

Nuff said.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

I don't think that not liking porn means she's insecure with herself. I'm not the biggest fan either. I find it boring and mechanical. Once you've seen one cum shot you've seen them all, it's missing something for me. Everyone says it's a male/female difference, but I'm sure that there are people of both sexes who feel different ways about it. One of my good girlfriends LOVES porn. We both love sex, and we're both normal.

It might just not be something that you all do together. Everyone has things they like/don't like. My husband refuses to try prostate stimulation even though I think he'd like it. That's cool, it's his preference and we do the things we mutually enjoy.

I agree that the bigger issue is her "bad spot." I'm not sure what that could be-surely you're not ramming her urethra that hard. I'd be curious about if she's bruised or has an infection of some kind.

Psia

I agree that it's not as much a male/female differance as a matter of preference. I know some male friends who are disgusted by porn, and a few who could just care less. I myself will watch it occassionally, but it doesn't turn me on nearly as much as a welldone story (or even *gasp* a romantic movie). Once in awile I'm in the mood for a porno, and I think thats how alot of people feel. They are quite fun to make fun of though ^_^ and hentai's are even easier to poke fun at.

As to the issue at hand, I think a run to the ob/gyn is in order. It may be nothing as you think, but who are any of us to make that judgement.

-Zergplex

-Zergplex

 

[Mskey]

I would agree with those here who have said that the primary concern should be the fact that she is experiencing pain during intercourse and that you " pop out" to slip out of a womans vagina during sex is not that unusual in and of itself, you may get a little sloppy in your thrusting, she may have slightly shifted her weight and you not noticed causing an awkward angle, etc, etc, but it shouldn't be accompanied by pain on her part.
There are several things that could be causing her pain during intercourse and virtually all of them should be checked out by a GYN. For ex. one of the symptoms of Endometriosis is painful intercourse. A vaginal infection would also cause her discomfort.
I can't speak for all women with the condition, but I have a tilted cervix and when I would engage in rear entry sex it would become easily bruised and cause a good amount of pain, but I was able to overcome it with pillows and a little creative positioning.
In any event have her talk to her GYN and see what's going on down there.

As for the porn it's never really done anything for me. I can get aroused by it but I can only tolerate it for a few minutes. It's all together to visual for me and like most women I tend to be a bit more cerebral. Porn is a good arousal tool for men. You guys need to actually see the bits and pieces working together to get the picture. Women on the other hand can get aroused by the insinuation of sex, the simple suggestiveness of two bodies moving under a sheet is far more arousing to me then a full fledged money shot. I would try working your way up to porn by starting with a few racier regular movies and going from there. I still say you can't beat 9 1/2 weeks for steaminess, but for your age group perhaps you may want to try Cruel Intentions. It's Valmont for the MTV generation, better still, try Valmont. Very sexy and very cerebral plus it's got some dueling and such to keep you from snoring.