Porn written in the style of a famous author

[EmilyMiller]

I’ll go first. Hopefully no introduction needed.

—

Once upon an iPhone sticky

I wasn’t feeling all that picky

About the type or genre of my porn

There was I just randomly scrolling

Didn’t care so much which hole in

Or which type of clothing would be worn



All at once I saw a vision

Of cock, no circumcision

Begging for its foreskin to be tugged

I clicked play so very quickly

Wishing that someone would lick me

With my little asshole deeply plugged



On the screen he started stroking

Imagined his cock my throat choking

Found my soaking pussy with my hand

Now that he was really jerking

And with my clit I was working

Little fires of pleasure that I fanned



Then I saw his cock was twitching

And my panties quickly ditching

I prepared myself for the event

In my pussy fingers dipping

And my breast with fingers nipping

While he squirted milky fluids pent



I was so very close to cumming

Looking at his semen running

Down his shaft and dripping on the floor

I pushed fingers in my vagina

And my screaming was not minor

Quoth little Em I’m such a whore!

—

Em

 

[advanced_dnd]

this was a fun one

 

[EmilyMiller]

this was a fun one

Thank you

 

[onehitwanda]

Em tugged her braid and frowned angrily.
How typical. Onehitwanda was late.
She sniffed.
"Probably at the pub again," she muttered.
She stalked from one side of the room to the other, arms folded under her breasts.
"Women," she said.
She smoothed her skirt and, furious, tugged her braid again.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
Em started, and spun around. She crossed her arms under her breasts and tugged her braid as she stared at the door.
Suddenly, the door slowly opened.
"Em?"
Em started. It was not Onehitwanda at the door.
Suddenly, a strange girl poked her sharp face around the corner.
"Who the hell are you?" demanded Em. She tugged her braid, furiously.
"I'm... stickygirl. Onehitwanda's still down at the pub. She told me to come here and tell you that she'll be a while."
"Oh for God's sake," cursed Em. "That damn woman and her tardiness. Okay. I guess you'll do."
"Er..."
"Come in and shut the door."
Stickygirl smoothed her skirt and crossed her arms under her breasts and tugged her braid.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea," she said, uncertainly."
"Oh, don't be such a goose!" said Em. She scowled crossly and lowered her voice dangerously. "Close the door, Stickygirl."
Stickygirl swallowed nervously and stepped over the door threshold. She closed the door behind her and crossed her arms under her breasts.

☯

Here ends book Five of the Squeal of Time. Continue the epic tale in book six, "The Shadow Humping".

yeah, it was an easy target

 

[MrPixel]

I’ll go first. Hopefully no introduction needed.

—

Once upon an iPhone sticky...

My wife loved it.

 

[EmilyMiller]

yeah, it was an easy target

That was, if you will excuse my language, fucking hilarious.

Em

 

[SimonDoom]

I did something like this with my stories The Bullfighter and the Woman, which is modeled after Hemingway's style, and BTB, Incorporated, which is a Mickey Spillane spoof.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I did something like this with my stories The Bullfighter and the Woman, which is modeled after Hemingway's style, and BTB, Incorporated, which is a Mickey Spillane spoof.

I know it’s not the done thing to praise Allen, but I liked his writing of Hemingway in Midnight in Paris. Which basically had him talking how he writes.

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

That was, if you will excuse my language, fucking hilarious.

Em

He's so incredibly easy to parody. GRRM's another. It's so long ago since I read Eddings that I can't remember his style, but I remember how... predictable it was.

Ooh. I should have done CS Lewis. After all, he does shave a pussy.

Old Knickers from the Dawn of Time
Older Knickers from before the Dawn of Time
oh fuck me I think I just broke a rib. help.

 

[SimonDoom]

I know it’s not the done thing to praise Allen, but I liked his writing of Hemingway in Midnight in Paris. Which basically had him talking how he writes.

Em

Yes I agree. Corey Stahl was good in that role, too.
Allen has many issues, but he's still a genius with comedy.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Yes I agree. Corey Stahl was good in that role, too.
Allen has many issues, but he's still a genius with comedy.

Agreed.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Ooh. I should have done CS Lewis. After all, he does shave a pussy.

You just opened my eyes to the true allegory of TLTWATW. Crucifixion schmucifixion - it’s really a sex romp. Makes so much more sense.

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

You just opened my eyes to the true allegory of TLTWATW. Crucifixion schmucifixion - it’s really a sex romp. Makes so much more sense.

Em

Not just a sex romp. A gay sex romp. The clue is the Wardrobe - which is a type of closet.

@stickygirl I summon you

 

[SimonDoom]

Not just a sex romp. A gay sex romp. The clue is the Wardrobe - which is a type of closet.

@stickygirl I summon you

Not to mention, bestiality (The Horse and his Boy?). Gay bestiality, come to think of it.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Not just a sex romp. A gay sex romp. The clue is the Wardrobe - which is a type of closet.

@stickygirl I summon you

I did always fancy the White Witch. A powerful woman who can make men rock hard.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Not to mention, bestiality (The Horse and his Boy?). Gay bestiality, come to think of it.

And Prince Caspian was bound to a chair.

Em

 

[Zenith77]

Well, I've written a 7-part (so far) series that is basically in the style of Jane Austen and reminiscent of Pride and Prejudice.
Aside from the fact that it has lots more sex and I'm no way in Austen's league, it's basically identical

 

[EmilyMiller]

Well, I've written a 7-part (so far) series that is basically in the style of Jane Austen and reminiscent of Pride and Prejudice.
Aside from the fact that it has lots more sex and I'm no way in Austen's league, it's basically identical

Can’t recall if you saw / commented on my thread yesterday. But I’m writing a story about a BDSM novice called Trussed & Trustability.

Em

 

[Kumquatqueen]

And Prince Caspian was bound to a chair.

Em

No, his son Rillian was bound to The Silver Chair, by another witch. There's some sexual tension between the giants loving Jill and Eustace - how do we interpret wanting to eat them?

Now, Edmund and Caspian - there's a doomed love story. Some excellent fanfic on that.

 

[EmilyMiller]

No, his son Rillian was bound to The Silver Chair, by another witch. There's some sexual tension between the giants loving Jill and Eustace - how do we interpret wanting to eat them?

Now, Edmund and Caspian - there's a doomed love story. Some excellent fanfic on that.

You are right. Silly me .

Em

 

[ronde]

I’ll go first. Hopefully no introduction needed.

—

Once upon an iPhone sticky

I wasn’t feeling all that picky

About the type or genre of my porn

There was I just randomly scrolling

Didn’t care so much which hole in

Or which type of clothing would be worn



All at once I saw a vision

Of cock, no circumcision

Begging for its foreskin to be tugged

I clicked play so very quickly

Wishing that someone would lick me

With my little asshole deeply plugged



On the screen he started stroking

Imagined his cock my throat choking

Found my soaking pussy with my hand

Now that he was really jerking

And with my clit I was working

Little fires of pleasure that I fanned



Then I saw his cock was twitching

And my panties quickly ditching

I prepared myself for the event

In my pussy fingers dipping

And my breast with fingers nipping

While he squirted milky fluids pent



I was so very close to cumming

Looking at his semen running

Down his shaft and dripping on the floor

I pushed fingers in my vagina

And my screaming was not minor

Quoth little Em I’m such a whore!

—

Em

Me thinks you must keep a raven as a pet and have a particular fondness for amontillado.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Me thinks you must keep a raven as a pet and have a particular fondness for amontillado.

I like corvids in general and Corvus corax in particular. Cronk! Cronk! Bok! Bok! Bok!

My favorite Poe story is of course The Clit and the Frenulum.

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

I did always fancy the White Witch. A powerful woman who can make men rock hard.

Em

If you really want your perceptions of TLTWATW to be... er... fucked with, then read "The Problem of Susan" by Neil Gaiman.

Also, I had a pet crow when I was young. Crows are the best!

 

[Bramblethorn]

And Prince Caspian was bound to a chair.

Em

The Horse And His Boy has a flogging, and later on Aslan claws the back of the woman who ordered the flogging, IIRC.

 

[yowser]

I suspect almost any entry in the M. Spillane challenge could qualify here:

She was the type of woman who stopped trains in their tracks.

Zelda had buzzed her in, with a brief "She's got a story, Dick," whispered comment on the intercom. I wasn't quick enough that morning to pick up on the sarcasm.

Her blonde hair was up, a pleasant oval face, sharp nose, but it was her classy, tightly-fitting silk blouse and skirt combination that caught my attention. Her legs went up to her armpits. The fabric of her white top seemed to be straining to hold in a couple of restless puppies, their snouts visibly poking at the thin cloth. I tried not to inhale.

I stood up and went around my desk to greet her, and she extended a hand, warm and firm. My heart melted like a Hersey bar in July.

"Mr. Mallet, thank you for taking time for me. I am Kira Thrupshot." Her accent was pronounced, sounded Russian.