Porn vs Connection...

[FAITHandFLESH]

What turns you one more, watching porn or talking to someone on a deeper level?

For me, porn is very one sided, very fake, and has no interaction. On the other hand, I could get into a deep discussion on theology with a woman, have sex NEVER come up and still be turned on by the conversation.

Some are here for the quick fix and some are here for the slow boil, what about you?

 

[FAITHandFLESH]

Hmmm, 41 views and no replies...

 

[beatingoff]

Hmmm, 41 views and no replies...

The porn side has no or little chance of "failure ". The human element has variables that are beyond my control. I would love to have someone else involved, but it opens me up to a lot of things that may not continue to keep me connected. Something simple as hygiene. I can't smell my fantasy girl,whereas my companion may have smelly feet.

 

[LauraWilling]

Absolutely no contest for me! I would much rather talk with someone or several people about sex on a deeper level. Porn is okay, but I find it kind of boring and maybe because I know to much about how it is made.

We all might like sausage, but no one wants to see how it is made. Is what I would compare porn to. D

 

[LadyJS]

Porn is boring, at least it is to me. But it does have its fans, as evidenced by numerous threads on the site. If that's what someone is into, more power to them.

 

[mrspank30]

For me there needs to be a connection. So traditional porn has lost a lot of his it's excitement to me unless I feel that there is some sort of connection to it. Thus the things that seem to polished and fake don't do much for me anymore. It's more the stuff that seems like it's real the amateur type stuff.

But ultimately the thing that gets me going is the connection with people. What you developed that friendship and that sexual tension or chemistry that's when the real excitement begins.

 

[BeautifulBlueSky218]

Porn has never done it for me. I find it boring and after awhile it loses it's excitement. That's just me though. I much rather have a deeper connection with someone. Anytime I find a connection with someone though, it's entirely different. The longer you talk and get to know each other, there's so much build up and chemistry. That's why porn seems to bore me so fast because their so quick to get it done.

There's no excitement there any longer. I love the build up of connecting with someone else.

 

[SquirtnBrat]

Porn is great if I want to get off. I like amateur or glam, sensual pornography.
I think most of us are wandering around searching for a deeper connection. However, I'm not big into sexting. I like meaningful conversations but I'm not rubbing on myself on the other end. Sorry, guys!

 

[KaileyRae]

………………………….

 

[Deleted member 1655181]

I like both equally.

I like amateur porn especially when it really seems like homemade stuff, but even it can become boring. What can be very stimulating while having sex is talking about each others fantasies or even talking about past sexual experiences or practices of your partner. These can create a "turn on" factor greater than watching any porn.

 

[screwher]

I love chatting with other men on this site about him screwing my wife. Him telling me how he'd fuck her is far and away a greater turn on that watching porn.

 

[hulmule]

I look at porn, but deep conversation is very stimulating. chemistry really makes great passion. Even if its FWB.

 

[ericrodman101]

I don't want to choose. Porn and connection both have their place. And connection while watching porn is a great combination.

 

[Sarahduk]

What turns you one more, watching porn or talking to someone on a deeper level?

For me, porn is very one sided, very fake, and has no interaction. On the other hand, I could get into a deep discussion on theology with a woman, have sex NEVER come up and still be turned on by the conversation.

Some are here for the quick fix and some are here for the slow boil, what about you?

Oh definitely talking to somebody on a deeper level I’m not a great fan of pornography to be honest but I do love reading erotic stories on here I think I can do much better with my mind reading a story and watching something visually I hope that makes sense

 

[clistenovena]

What turns you one more, watching porn or talking to someone on a deeper level?

Depends on what I am in the mood for.

And now, to get my geek on. Apologies in advance. Must be my mood.

Seriously (although the above can get pretty serious), as a collective, the female brain is wired for conversation. Interconnected-ly wired in fact. We use more of both sides of our brains together when engaged in conversation, and one of those areas is the "feel-good" area, which is why women can get turned on by a meaningful conversation, on whatever topic floats her boat.

Most male brains, however, are area-specific in brain function. No back-and-forth for them, really (but in-and-out is a given). Furthermore, studies show that higher levels of testosterone (which men naturally have) literally decreases brain matter in language processing areas of the brain. It's just science, really. It's a wonder the twain ever meet. Or hook up. Your choice on vernacular.

Some are here for the quick fix and some are here for the slow boil, what about you?

Again, it truly is mood-dependent. For everyone, I dare say. Although, as an aside, it could be theoretically stated that men who can keep up with the conversation and engage her mind in such a way might actually get more pussy. Now there's a research study I want in on.

 

[SquidProQuo]

I like both for different reasons but porn is just easier. Finding someone to connect with is hard. Then you have to build and maintain rapport. It takes work and energy. I'd rather just find some porn or erotic story and read or look at what I want. I feel like men have been selfish to me anyway. It's usually about how I can please him, with no interest on his end of pleasing me, then he goes away. He will just log off if it's on the web. Or if it in person, he will never call or text back.

 

[QuasiSemiDemiEsqueIsh]

What turns you one more, watching porn or talking to someone on a deeper level?

For me, porn is very one sided, very fake, and has no interaction. On the other hand, I could get into a deep discussion on theology with a woman, have sex NEVER come up and still be turned on by the conversation.

Some are here for the quick fix and some are here for the slow boil, what about you?

Honestly, I think my answer is going to be heavily influenced by the fact that I'm demisexual. Porn almost never does anything at all for me. Sexual (or any) discussions with strangers or casual acquaintances are just as unstimulating. I typically prefer erotica because at least I can connect with the characters if the stories are in-depth enough.

I'm not sure whether my answer would change if I were allosexual like most people here (and in general), but as a demisexual person, there's really no such thing as a "quick fix" for me, so I'm all about the slow boil. I might read a story three or four times before I actually have enough connection to it to find it appealing, and just as an example, I shared over 100,000 words with my nesting partner before I'd built up enough of an emotional bond that I became sexually attracted to him.

Of course, once I'm sexually attracted to someone (and the feeling is mutual), a "quick fix" can be possible, because my libido with partners is pretty damn high, but outside of that it's pretty uncommon to find anything that gets me off or even turns me on.

 

[oneblueye]

hey...

What turns you one more, watching porn or talking to someone on a deeper level?

For me, porn is very one sided, very fake, and has no interaction. On the other hand, I could get into a deep discussion on theology with a woman, have sex NEVER come up and still be turned on by the conversation.

Some are here for the quick fix and some are here for the slow boil, what about you?

It really depends on where I am in relation to the porn I'm watching. If its a porn film, I'd rather talk to someone sexy or not, about most anything deep or shallow.

If I am in the same room as the action, I'd rather participate that watch but regardless, I would definitely take in the live show.

 

[ned63]

Id rather have a real lady to talk to an if it leads to caming with her that is way better than any porn. Wish I could find one of those ladies again.

 

[CatherineatHome]

What turns you one more, watching porn or talking to someone on a deeper level?

For me, porn is very one sided, very fake, and has no interaction. On the other hand, I could get into a deep discussion on theology with a woman, have sex NEVER come up and still be turned on by the conversation.

Some are here for the quick fix and some are here for the slow boil, what about you?

What's that old line about the brain being the largest sex organ? Absolutely true for me. I can generally tell, in the first few minutes of conversation with someone, if there's the necessary give/take and meeting of minds for that chemistry to happen. Then, with extended talk, it's magic (even if sex never comes up.) It's having someone "get" me... that feeling of being "known" in a cerebral sense that arouses me more than 2D images on a screen.

 

[StrongMaster7]

As others have expressed, porn is a known quantity, a sure thing. It's like a drug that is manufactured with a precise dose, duration, and effects. Chat is a wild card. Sometimes it can be amazing and WAY better than porn, but not very often.

If I watch a favorite porn clip, I see images that appeal to me, hear dialog that excites me, and I can time my climax to whatever image I want. In chat, you have to find a woman to chat with, which is difficult for a start. Then you have to hope you meet her standards. Some ladies on Lit Chat have very specific requirements. Then you have to hope you share some sexual interest. Then you have to hope she responds with more than one-word answers and has any interest/skill at turning you on. And if all of the stars align, you have to hope that the timing works out.

No contest. In an ideal world, chat and a human connection is best. In the real world, porn is way more user-friendly.

 

[klippert]

As others have expressed, porn is a known quantity, a sure thing. It's like a drug that is manufactured with a precise dose, duration, and effects.* Chat is a wild card. Sometimes it can be amazing and WAY better than porn, but not very often.

If I watch a favorite porn clip, I see images that appeal to me, hear dialog that excites me, and I can time my climax to whatever image I want. In chat, you have to find a woman to chat with, which is difficult for a start. Then you have to hope you meet her standards. Some ladies on Lit Chat have very specific requirements. Then you have to hope you share some sexual interest. Then you have to hope she responds with more than one-word answers and has any interest/skill at turning you on. And if all of the stars align, you have to hope that the timing works out.

No contest. In an ideal world, chat and a human connection is best. In the real world, porn is way more user-friendly.

*It's not "like" a drug...it is. Porn taps into the same receptors as narcotics. studies have proven that.

I have to say this/your description is the most thought and simply defined. thank you. Human interactions IS the most desired, we crave it. As a married man in a deeply loving relationship. My wife has limited interest in 'connection', the cerebral part of sex...
If, in the ideal situation...i'd much rather have the human interaction, conversation about intimacy, and hot sex. until then, i'm a pron addict. in a follow up. those that use porn regularly....do you compare what your computer or phone shows you to your wife/GF or Husband/BF
ie. big porn cock to ____ or her body to ____

 

[Shelly2inme]

All porn is not created equal

It would depend on the nature of the conversation and the topic of the conversation. Also it would depend on the porn. Some is far more exciting to me than others. In fact I see a lot of porn that I don't like at all and I shut it down and look for something else. Likewise, I have had conversations with people that were not at all rewarding and I was in a hurry to get past the moment.

Maybe having a conversation with a wonderful person about how great it is that God invented sex while fucking them and watching high quality porn would be the best.

 

[rosie_dreams]

Dreams

The interaction between two consensual adults with discreet secrets of their own accords is far more erotic with words. My opinion, real true life amateur homemade filming is father more enticing. Our brain is an interesting organ we were all born with. Thoughts are processed on how we dream about our interactions between two people.

 

[BBCfan]

What turns you one more, watching porn or talking to someone on a deeper level?

For me, porn is very one sided, very fake, and has no interaction. On the other hand, I could get into a deep discussion on theology with a woman, have sex NEVER come up and still be turned on by the conversation.

Some are here for the quick fix and some are here for the slow boil, what about you?

When it comes to sex guys are more visual, girls are more cerebral. 90% of the women will say conversation, 80% of the guys will say porn. The 20% of the guys that say conversation are likely lying to try and talk with the 90% of women.

If I'm connecting with a woman deep conversation is definitely foreplay, but I have an amazing partner so ill stick to porn.