Porn as cheating?

[IrishFun69]

My GF asked that as part of my new years resolution I should cut down on the amount of porn I watch. Typically I may watch about 10 movies a day, to be honest I am streaming one now in the background.

Do people think this is an unreasonable request? In reality, I would cheat on her a lot if I didn't have my release valve!

 

[Beck31]

My GF asked that as part of my new years resolution I should cut down on the amount of porn I watch. Typically I may watch about 10 movies a day, to be honest I am streaming one now in the background.

Do people think this is an unreasonable request? In reality, I would cheat on her a lot if I didn't have my release valve!

My personal opinion is your gf's request isn't unreasonable. I mean that is a lot of smut. She may feel left out and that all of your attention is focused on fiction rather than a real live flesh and blood woman. I am guessing that she feels threatened.

You mentioned you would cheat on her without having an outlet and you have also mentioned a seemingly lack of emotional connection. Not judging at all but
perhaps attempting to slowly ween yourself off of the smut.

Perhaps sit down with your girlfriend and express your side of the situation. Listen to what she has to say and perhaps also write down a list of your concerns and her concerns as well. Meeting in the middle may do you and her some good. Good luck with this.

 

[fgarvb1]

OK.

The cheating part seems a little farfetched but...
10 movies a day?

ya might want to look up a little word called addiction.

Ya sexaholic fucker!

 

[Ellafun]

Dude, you are unbelievable.

I mean that in every possible interpretation.

And by the way, you are a sex "fiend", not a sex "feen." Thank goodness you hired a good-looking secretary to spellcheck shit for you.

Oh, and p.s. Casanova...who cares what she wants you to do? You're going to do whatever the fuck you want to do anyway. Carry on. and take antibiotics or vitamins or something.

 

[njlauren]

Porn is kind of like a spice or a sauce, the right amount makes food taste better, too much if it kills it.

When you view porn and get off on it, you are living up in your head, and at that point you are blocking out the real world. Porn is really easy, you don't have to buy it flowers, you don't have to do foreplay or dinner or kiss it or tell it how beautiful it is, you don't have to worry about its needs, you simply watch it, go off into la la land in your own head, and pleasure yourself. if you are watching porn that much, you probably aren't getting it from your girlfriend....it is addictive, and it like drugs balloons out and can take over your life.

I think you would be better server spending the time with your GF and having an actual relationship with her, rather then the artificial reality of living on porn world..and if you find you cannot break away, talk to a therapist, because you could be addicted.

 

[xjasminex]

ya might want to look up a little word called addiction.

Actually, since you watch so many movies a day anyway, how about another one? Watch 'Shame' (2011 film). It's seriously not a jab at you, but something that might mean something to you. If/when you watch it, the person you are and the effect of your behavior on your life in the future.

 

[MsQuote]

My GF asked that as part of my new years resolution I should cut down on the amount of porn I watch. Typically I may watch about 10 movies a day, to be honest I am streaming one now in the background.

Do people think this is an unreasonable request? In reality, I would cheat on her a lot if I didn't have my release valve!

For a guy like you, yes, that's an unreasonable request. Obviously porn is your only outlet since most women and female employees aren't impressed with the "nice guy" routine you try to pull off to snag some one-night snatch.

If you don't want to cut down on your porn, then cut down on the time you spend with your girlfriend. Be sure to be as civil as you can as you cut off contact without her knowing that your have no intention of seeing her again. I can't guarantee your girlfriend won't get completely unglued and make your life a living hell for being "cruel to be kind" like you did that chick in your office you banged and dumped, but I can guarantee that you'll be free to watch all the porn you want.

 

[amofiga]

I have to agree with some of the other folks. Porn in and of itself isn't "cheating" and can be a wonderful adjunct to a good sexual relationship with a partner to get the engines started. However, 10 movies a day? Are we talking 5 minute clips or hour-long movies? How the hell do you have time for anything else? Like someone else sort of said, I like hot mustard on my ham sandwiches to give it come kick, but when there's twice as much mustard as ham, it gets a bit nasty. Sounds a bit more like a habit or obsession and those can be hard to break but for your sake and your girlfriend's, give it a shot.

 

[haurni]

If you're watching porn instead of giving her attention (and then sleeping with your employees to get off) then, yeah, there's a problem here. As to whether or not your gf considers porn to be 'cheating', you implied that you thought it might be but you didn't say that she thought it was. Some people consider watching porn to be cheating, others will draw the line at cybering, or webcamming - it depends on the type of relationship you have. If she thinks it is cheating, then you're already way over the line with your other behaviours. If she doesn't, she probably just wants you to pay more attention to her (and less to your secretary). Oh, and maybe you should also have an honest talk about your relationship and what you both want out of it and whether or not there's even any common ground there.

What I realise is that my relationship has gone south, I don't see a future with my GF. I will end it soon.

Oh, and I see you already addressed that issue in another thread. Why are you even writing in this one? Do her a favour and end it sooner rather than later.

 

[kittykatx]

I dont think porn is cheating as in watching porn movies but define porn? with the internet there is web camming and cybersex and where do you draw the line? if a bf was contacting the women he was viewing on webcam then id consider that cheating as i would cybersex porn can be fun and shared in a relationship but too much and it can make some women feel inadequate unattractive particularly if it feels like your partner is getting off on the porn and not you!

 

[eric60red]

My GF asked that as part of my new years resolution I should cut down on the amount of porn I watch. Typically I may watch about 10 movies a day, to be honest I am streaming one now in the background.

Do people think this is an unreasonable request? In reality, I would cheat on her a lot if I didn't have my release valve!

You have a major problem. 10 a DAY, that's 50 a week, 200 per month , 2,400 a year, have they made that many? Mind you like the TV half will be repeats.

 

[shewantsmore]

where do you find the time to watch them all anyway

 

[Scarlett_69]

Watching a little porn, in itself, is not cheating, in my opinion....My man and I both watch porn occasionally, by ourselves, and together.

But if you are watching so much porn that it takes time away from your relationships with others, I believe that's too much.

 

[IrishFun69]

You have a major problem. 10 a DAY, that's 50 a week, 200 per month , 2,400 a year, have they made that many? Mind you like the TV half will be repeats.

I tend to skip to the action, so it may be 10 mins in the morning before breakfast, 5-10 mins on my iphone at lunch time, norm 10 mins when I get home, then I might watch parts of 4-5 movies in the evening. Most people may spend 3 hours watching TV, all in all I guess I spend 1hr 30mins watching porn.

 

[SmileyGirl]

I tend to skip to the action, so it may be 10 mins in the morning before breakfast, 5-10 mins on my iphone at lunch time, norm 10 mins when I get home, then I might watch parts of 4-5 movies in the evening. Most people may spend 3 hours watching TV, all in all I guess I spend 1hr 30mins watching porn.

That's an hour and a half you could have been having real sex if you got your act together with your gf

 

[Bramblethorn]

My rule of thumb: unfaithfulness is what your partner says it is. If you don't like their definition, negotiate to change it or leave the relationship.

Since you've apparently decided to leave the GF, the question that then remains is "is this excessive?" - I have to say I'd be worried about a friend's wellbeing if they were watching that much. I'd wonder whether they were using it to paper over some other problem in their life, and I'd worry about whether it was distorting their attitudes to RL relationships.

 

[IrishFun69]

My rule of thumb: unfaithfulness is what your partner says it is. If you don't like their definition, negotiate to change it or leave the relationship.

Since you've apparently decided to leave the GF, the question that then remains is "is this excessive?" - I have to say I'd be worried about a friend's wellbeing if they were watching that much. I'd wonder whether they were using it to paper over some other problem in their life, and I'd worry about whether it was distorting their attitudes to RL relationships.

Thanks.

 

[heavyhitter01]

My rule of thumb: unfaithfulness is what your partner says it is. If you don't like their definition, negotiate to change it or leave the relationship.

Since you've apparently decided to leave the GF, the question that then remains is "is this excessive?" - I have to say I'd be worried about a friend's wellbeing if they were watching that much. I'd wonder whether they were using it to paper over some other problem in their life, and I'd worry about whether it was distorting their attitudes to RL relationships.

This point might explain every one of his posts on here. His attitude toward women and relationships is so dysfunctional as to be unbelievable.

IrishFun69, I have to say that after reading all of your threads, you sound like the poster boy for sex addiction. You might want to do some research into that, and get some counseling before you hurt others and yourself even more than you already have.

 

[SassySheDevil]

My rule of thumb: unfaithfulness is what your partner says it is. If you don't like their definition, negotiate to change it or leave the relationship.

Since you've apparently decided to leave the GF, the question that then remains is "is this excessive?" - I have to say I'd be worried about a friend's wellbeing if they were watching that much. I'd wonder whether they were using it to paper over some other problem in their life, and I'd worry about whether it was distorting their attitudes to RL relationships.

I like this one.

I would be concerned that the things that are not working out with the gf are because you aren't putting forth half the energy to meet her needs as you are to get off.

Give it one week, Give your gf the same time and attention you'd give your dick during the porn, see if she's happy, If you see the difference in her, you know it was too much. If you see no difference, the damage is done and it's time to move on.

 

[MsQuote]

That's an hour and a half you could have been having real sex if you got your act together with your gf

Or an hour and a half he could be shagging his secretary.

 

[FlutterFlye]

I haven't read any of your other posts/threads so am just going to comment on your OP as asked. IMO the amount of porn you watch is waaay to excessive. I love porn, my FWB loves pron - we watch it together and watch it alone independently. Not to your extent though.

In aswer to your query, no I don't consider porn to be cheating. I do consider secrecy to be lying though - so if you are not honest with your gf about your usage then there is deceit involved.

I would consider one-on-one interaction via webcams etc by a significant other with others to be.... not exactly 'cheating' as such - but something I would definately not be happy or comfortable with.