Ponytail Express

[A_Gavin_MaCross29]

Just wanted to give profound thanks to everyone for reading my first story. I was blown away by the positive response. It's my first attempt at erotic fiction, so it's been like navigating an alien landscape. I'm putting the finishing touches on chapter 7 and a few pages into 8. Your feedback keeps me motivated. I hope you remain entertained, and again I can't say thank you enough.

GM

 

[ElectricBlue]

I took a quick look, since you advertised it here.

One suggestion for the next chapters - fix your dialogue punctuation.

"I think you should leave." She warned.

should read: "I think you should leave," she warned. Comma, lower case.

You do that repeatedly, so you should fix it now, right from the start, to avoid it becoming an ingrained bad habit. It will annoy fussier readers, and it's a fundamental thing to get right.

I also spotted a few errors, easily fixed with closer proof reading. I don't think you need an editor, just tighter checking.

Good luck, enjoy writing .

 

[A_Gavin_MaCross29]

Did not get to chapter 2 in time. Lessons learned, though. Will correct for Chapters 3 and on. Thank you so much!

 

[astuffedshirt_perv]

You also might want to post a link to your story.