Polyamory - Extending your family

[vladimir]

Hi Piper... This is Vlad, who's been surrounded by life and it's wonderful diversions lately... sigh... God I hate polititical people...

I just caught up on the thread, and wanted to let you know I'm still here lurking and reading and thinking about your wonderful attitude and caring attention to the people here. Ok, enough stroking... I'll get on with what I wanted to say...

Heya MissT,
I am not sure if like the phrase "collecting women" for his family. Was that his phrase or yours? Did you ask him what is his motivation for wanting so many sister-wives? How about also asking him what he sees their roles as, should he be able to collect his set amount. Has the other women he's got now been successfully integrated into a relationship with him and each other? Or does he plan on bringing you all together at once?

Hi MissT, I'm Vlad, and I've been poly for a long time, not practicing right now, but that' life...

What Piper says is very wise. People tend to think that because someone is into a non-monogomous lifestyle that they are either broken in some way, or non-judgemental about others. I've run into this attitude with even long time poly people, and it's really annoying. Use the same filters you would with any other person that you were going to become involved with both emotionally and physically, and add in some you may not have thought to check.
check on motivations, now, during and during and during.
check on stability. Poly relationships need MORE stability than monogomous ones.
check on viability, group dynamics must be fortified with communication for this to work at all.
check on financial health, money is at the root of many problems in many relationships. what can you contribute, what can they contribute?
check on written contracts, some poly households use them and swear by them... I've never, but that don't make it bad.

The successful poly relationships that I've had the pleasure of knowing didn't really start off in the beginning as poly. It was usually a couple who met and found a third person whom they were attracted to, sexually or in some other loving fashion. That 3rd person might have been brought into the relationship quickly, but it usually evolved over time, slowly and in a loving fashion. For the poly groups that I know of that are over 3, all the people had to really enjoy living communally, were very laid back.

Poly is as poly does, I'm not sure that I would be comfortable with an inequitable balance genderwise, but on the other hand I know a quad from TX that have one male and three women, and they've been together for at least ten years. Communication and liking one another is one of their keys to success.

Please know that I am not judging you. I'm just telling what little I know of it. I don't mean to come off as cold about it, but I don't really know the details of your friends situation, and collecting woman doesn't sound like it would be healthy for you. And you'd be my main concern.
I hope you share more, MissT...I'm interested in how this comes out.

Like Piper said, no judging... Just want more people in the world who don't have the jealosy bug and share themselves.

Piper, I trust you are doing well? I saw from the profile edit that you live out in the great lakes area? Very cool.

ttyal
Vladimir

 

[zetacon4]

MissTaken...

If I were you, I would be scared to death of this guy. I know almost nothing but what you have written here, but I see this as a very unstable situation. So much should be known about this person and what his intentions are. Also, the other girls should be worried too. Have you passed this situation around to some of your trusted friends here at Lit.? That would be very prudent.
And personally, it is way too soon to meet him in person.

Just a very caring person....Kisses!

 

[pipercatt]

Howdy Vlad, Zeta, and everyone.

I'm still around, and glad that people are still posting to this thread occasionally.

Although I've gone mono again, happily. I still love discussing the subject. I hope that we can continue the conversations that have gone on here.

Hugs to you all!

 

[jewel_GR]

deleted

 

[sensualpilgrim]

Hi All

I too am a polyamorous man from NYC. I also am a swinger too. But I always like the idea of a large group marriage much like Robert Heinlein's Time Enough for Love. Is there anybody from NYC? (Hi Angel!)

 

[Richard49]

I just wanted to let people know I am still here

 

[mitchell67]

Re: with both feet

I think it is a byproduct of what can appropriately be termed "poly communication skills" that the level of discussion in this thread is the best I have ever come across on the Lit boards.
I think everybody deserves a pat on the back for our communal efforts at peace, harmony, and a better understanding of ourselves and fellow beings.
My gf and I have been talking about poly now for close to a year and the commitment to total honesty saved us both much grief and helps us listen to each other and break some of those communication patterns we were stuck with when we first met.

here is a useful link: http://www.polymatchmaker.com/

I do hope to see this thread continue along
-mitchell

 

[sensualpilgrim]

An thread of interest to polys

It's great to have a poly thread here. I'm sure that like me, many of the polys here first learns about group love and marriage from reading Robert A. Heinlein. For the unwise, the books to look into are "Stranger in a Strange land", "Time Enough for Love", "The Number of the Beast", "The Cat Who walks Through Walls", and "To Sail beyond the Sunset." Also, there's 'Friday" and "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress."

A fellow poly and Heinlein fan and I decided that it would be fun playing sexual role play as heinlein characters and so I started a new thread at http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=3546484#post3546484

All poly-Heinlein fans are welcome!

 

[Sue69]

I read Heinlein's book "The Cat Who walks Through Walls" before I went off to college. Loved it!

 

[Stormfang]

Heinlein

I'm a huge Heinlein fan. While you've hit on most of the ones that addressed polyamory, there are a few others that bear mentioning even if they do not: Starship Troopers (NOT like the movie at all), Job: A Comedy of Justice, and Portal in the Sky are all great books as well.

 

[Richard49]

Just wanted to say hi to those that are here posting
I have not been to this thread
( and I helped start it)
in months