Poll. For women with children only.

[Ishmael]

Ok, this issue has been discussed from all angles. It's time to hear from those that have lived the life.

Has having children affected your career? If so, how? Only those women with children are qualified to answer. The rest of us can learn.

Ishmael

 

[Georgia Girl]

I'm lucky in that I work for a boss who stated my first day "If this job is ever more important than your family its time for you to go home".

Yes, work does at times come home with me but I have a family that understands the calls in the middle of the night and why Mommy has to get up and go.

Its all about the kids.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[MissTaken]

I wasn't so fortunate.

I had a job which was eating 70 hours a week out of my life and that of my children's.

Then, when things got to be too much at work and certainly things at home were a constant challenge, I quit. I took a lesser paying job which allows me to be home after school.

Most days, I know it is the right decision. My children are happier and we are more stable in our relationship than ever. Some days, more money would be nice, but it is what it is.

The satisfaction and fulfillment of those special hugs and kisses, those moments when I know I am teaching them something only I can teach them and the pride with which they talk about their mom is far more fulfilling than any title or paycheck.

For me, it has been worth it, even though the challenges of making a living are a bit more pronounced than they were before, teh challenges of living with my children are less.

A trade off.

 

[enjoyingitall]

I've been fortunate enough to work the same hours as my children are in school. That is one of the perks of being a teacher.
I took a year off with each of them when they were born, and then returned the next term. I've never had to face the tough issues. I've been very blessed.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I stopped working to stay home with my kids and have never regretted it.

Ok, once or twice on really, really bad screaming baby days.

 

[Ishmael]

I stopped working to stay home with my kids and have never regretted it.

Ok, once or twice on really, really bad screaming baby days.

That's funny.

Ishmael

 

[lisalove]

Heh, yes Ruby I can relate.

As a mother of 3 boys not even in school yet, I revel in being able to stay home with them. Yes it has affected my career ( I quit completely a few weeks before the twins were born). I don't regret it at all. I hate working. WTF, getting up at 6 am to drive through rush hour traffic. Always having to look and act polished. The demands, the stress...ugh no thanks, it's more my style to stay home and tend to my kids and my garden.

 

[intrigued]

I have lived both sides of this. I have been a single parent that had to work, and I have been a stay at home mom, and did so for 9 years. With my first born I worked 2 part time jobs, though at the same location. I was a part time secretary Monday through Friday, and was able to get him from daycare after I got off, and we had the rest of the day together. Then on the weekends, I worked as a part time assistant counselor, and these shifts were 24 hour shifts. All in all, it balanced out. The toughest issues were finding reliable, nurturing and safe day care for him, feeling guilt that I was his entire world, and struggling financially. I was fortunate that he was just a happy and carefree little boy that never knew the adversity he had been born into.

With my second born, I was married, and we were together from the day she was born. It was a beautiful blessing to have that time with her, to share all that we did, and to not have all the issues of outside influences. My thinking was that I didn't have my baby for someone else to raise him, influence him and/or threaten his safety, as each of these things did happen. It was such a relief to have my little girl home safe with me.
Yes, we lived on little, but she thrived, she knew the solidity and security of a mom that stayed home with her and gave her a wonderful home life, a Mom that taught her and did things with her, a Mom that influenced her and gave her a glimpse of her soul. These are things she will carry with her throughout her life, as evidenced in the way she plays Mommy with her babies, the way she plays pretend in dressing up to be just like Mommy, having to assist me each and every time I walk into the kitchen, and making the exact same facial expressions I make, using my verbal expressions, and "making eyes" just like I do.

My son is an independant one and handles change and stimuli well. He is creative and engaging, she is shy and cannot stand any attention to be on her. It is always a give and take, a tradeoff, and desires so much of a "striking the right balance".

 

[katelync]

I'm lucky in that I work for a boss who stated my first day "If this job is ever more important than your family its time for you to go home".

Yes, work does at times come home with me but I have a family that understands the calls in the middle of the night and why Mommy has to get up and go.

Its all about the kids.

My supervisor told me the same thing when I had my third child. Yes, my work comes home with me too....my family lives in my work so to speak. But sometimes it is hard for them to understand that Mommy gets a call in the middle of the night...and does not come home for a while. I have thought of being a stay at home mom...til I get home.

 

[Summery]

My story: short version

I was able to stay home the first 8 months with my son. I put my career opportunity pretty much on hold at the time. (thankfully I had a savings and a great deal of family support to even allow me that much time home with my son).

Then, at 8 months he went to daycare and I started to work where it could be something long term and very much a career. I spent the next almost 2 1/2 years or more working 55-65 hours a week. I loved my work. But, it was stressful work at times and I found myself often exhausted. But, as a single mom I felt obligated to keep up this pace to be a good provider.(I was wrong thinking that way in my own opinion)

It wasn't until one night when I picked up my son from his daycare, and he said good-bye mommy to his daycare provider. Well, you can imagine I started to cry my heart out. That was it! I made the choice to cut my hours in half and start spending more quality time with my son, as 2 hours a day together just wasn't enough. My son had some issues that I speculated stemmed from the kind of care I later found out my son was getting at his daycare.

I eventually went to just working on call. But, to stay in my line of work, I have continuously stayed up to date through occasional classes, and other training's. I will be returning to work full time here very soon. I have no regrets, and everything happened for a reason. My son is healthy, stubborn and thriving well. It helps that he is so excited about starting preschool and being around other kids his age. I will have a little more freedom from this point on to focus more on my own career. But, my son is and will always be my first priority.

 

[intrigued]

I meant to add that she is now in all day Kindergarten, and I am a single parent again, and about to enter the work force again. Life is going to get very interesting, and you'll probably see very little of me.

 

[Guest]

 

[Soblue]

.

 

[Semler]

Why is this only for single mothers? I've raised my daughter by myself since she was two years old (she's 14 now).

 

[KillerMuffin]

My child never affected my career. My seizure disorder had a lot to say about it, though.

So I'm starting a new one.

The StudMuffin is a stay-at-home-when-he's-not-fishing dad.

 

[Ishmael]

Why is this only for single mothers? I've raised my daughter by myself since she was two years old (she's 14 now).

I also raised my two sons as the custodial parent. The reason for the poll being restricted to women is that children appear to have a larger impact on their carreers than a man's carreer. Sooooooooo, the poll is an attempt to winnow the wheat from the chaff.

Ishmael

 

[PepperminTrish]

I left the workforce when my first son was 7 months old. I tried to continue working full time but realized how much I was missing. My husband and I discussed it and made the changes that would make it feasible for us to live on only one income. It was the best decision that we could have made.

 

[Guest]

 

[perks]

The chef business isn't conducive to the rearing of children. When I did work there were weeks I had 16 hour days. That, to me, means someone else would be rearing my child.

So I had to choose, and I did, based on my experience<my parents were never home, because of their jobs> and what I thought would be best for the duckling.

She is more important than I am, and it is a priviledge to rear her, so that's what I chose to do, and I'm very fortunate to be with someone that makes enough money that I can stay home with her.

Of course there are days when it is overwhelming and I want to be in whites and dealing with my kitchen, my employees, the food, the customers, however, in clear conscience, I could never pick that over the duckling, when I have been given the opportunity to be with her.

 

[sigh]

My child came before any thoughts of worklife so I tailored my adult life around him. I honestly have no idea what I'd be doing now if he hadn't been born but there's no doubt he affects my lifestyle and choices every day.

No regrets though, at least in my decision to have and keep him.

(I'm single, by the way, but with great support from my family.)

 

[hornylady]

I worked after number 1, then gave up after number 2 and changed direction by doing my professional translator qualifications. I work freelance from home, my husband is around when I need to work in the evenings, and number 3 has come along in the meantime. No childcare, school run is never a problem, and I even have time to get involved at school - find a way that works for you and stick to it