Politically incorrect jokes

[Wildcard Ky]

I get tired of everything having to be so PC, so I've decided to see if a thread of politically incorrect jokes will fly. So go ahead and lay them out. Here's a couple to get things started:

Why haven't they ever sent a woman to the moon? Because nothing up there needs cleaning.

If they can send a man to the moon, why can't they send them all?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I'm game, tired of minding my P's and Q's tonite.

"What's the definition of a wife?"


'An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done."


Sorry gal's I can't pass up the chance to spread a bad joke, it's a sickness, just ask Lucky.


"A"

 

[Guest]

 

[minsue]

We have raised an entire generation of women who believe that Ken is an accessory.

Have you heard about the agnostic, insomniac dyslexic?

He stayed up all night worrying about rather or not there really is a god.

Don't you mean DOG?

 

[snooper]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

No point in saying anything. You told her three times already.

 

[Guest]

 

[kellycummings]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

No point in saying anything. You told her three times already.

I was gonna post that one but thought it might be going too far. Glad you did instead.

 

[Guest]

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?


Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Lou

 

[Guest]

Oops, duplicate post. Oh well, here's some more...


How do you get a macho guy to stop calling "it" The Whopper, My Bazooka, and The Thunder Rod?


Ask, "Is it in?"

_________________________________________________


Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."



Lou

 

[snooper]

I suppose this one is really PC on Lit, but non-PC in Bill Gates's USA:

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Four.
The first one checks the model number.
The second one checks the configuration.
The thiord one checks the power supply.
The fourth one just says, it must be your fault; the one in my office works fine.

 

[SnoopDog]

Ok here comes something people will probably hate me for. But let me assure you it comes from a dark place of mine that I keep shut for 364 days of the year.

'What's worse than two dead babies in a trashcan?'

'One dead baby in two trashcans.'

Ok, now kill me for it.

Snoopy

 

[Guest]

"Sick" jokes have nothing to do with being PC or not, they are just tastelessness masquerading as humour. I "got" it but could not laugh or even grin at your post, Snoop. I'm glad we have a whole 364 days to go before we hear more from your dark place.

Perdita

 

[oo0_boo_0oo]

"Grow your own dope... plant a man!"

 

[Guest]

"Grow your own dope... plant a man!"

That made me laugh out loud, BIG time!! Hahaha!!!

Lou

 

[pop_54]

What do you call an Irishman on a bicycle??

A Dope peddler!


Did you hear about the two queers in a phone box??

They were trying to Ring each other!


Did you hear about the Irish guy who's wife gave birth to twins??

He spent weeks looking for the other guy!


Why did the woman cross the road??

More to the point what was she doing away from the sink!


More later after the kiddie watershed

 

[Guest]

Pops, you da man!

 

[dirtylover]

Don't you mean DOG?

That really made me laugh....I have a friend who's amazingly bad at telling jokes too, I find it funnier when the punchline is screwed up....

What's the difference between a woman and a fridge?

A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

re: dead babies, yeah Snoopdog that's really tasteless and not really funny . But it's so hard not to tell them isn't it? Kinda like an urge, like you need to get something really dark out of your head...

 

[Madame Manga]

From my alma mater:

Q: How many UC Santa Cruz students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Twelve. One to screw it in and eleven to share the academic credit.

Maybe you had to be there. Here's another of the same era:

Q: How many radical feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: That's not funny!

MM

 

[Guest]

A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise," he replied.

"Wow, that's amazing," she said, "How old are you?"

"Twenty-six."

 

[oo0_boo_0oo]

Why cant women park cars?

Cos men tell them -------------------------------- that much is 6 inches!

 

[Guest]

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty dollars," the dentist says.

"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"

"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60."

Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!"

"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20."

"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."

"Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10."

"Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"

 

[Guest]

A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot. The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower. "Help! Help!"

The tower came back and asked, "What's the problem?"

The blind guy yelled, "Help me! I'm blind... the pilot is dead, and we're flying upside down!"

The tower came back and asked, "How do you know you're upside down?"

"Because the shit is running down my back."

 

[Carl East]

Q. Why don't blind people enjoy sky diving?

A. There guide dogs don't like it.

Carl

ps I know, pretty bad. lol

 

[Guest]

 

[dirtylover]

There's this nun having a bath, right? Then she hears a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" she calls.

"It's the blind man."

Well, she thinks, I guess if he's blind...

"okay, come in,"she says

The man walks in, takes one look at the bathing nun, and says, "nice tits luv, where do you want the blinds?"