POETRY BOOTCAMP: Week Three-- Ballads

[REDWAVE]

All right, maggots, listen up! This is Drill Sergeant REDWAVE speaking! You've cut your teeth on the sonnet and the villanelle, two very structured and difficult forms. This week you get to relax a little, and work with a looser and easier traditional form, the ballad. I've already explained the basics of it on the week two thread, but here's some review. The most important thing is a ballad tells a story. The ballad stanza is a4b3c4b3, but you don't have to follow that slavishly. Feel free to vary it if it gets too confining. Remember-- the poetic forms and techniques are there to serve YOU, the poet. You are not there to serve the forms.

Traditional ballads were often collaborative efforts, with different poets throwing in new stanzas over the centuries, and alternate versions of the most famous ballads, like Barbara Lee. Feel free to write a complete ballad, start an unfinished ballad, or add to another ballad. (If you do add to another poet's ballad, please state which one in your post). I'll start it off with "Inverness," the first two stanzas:

I met a girl in Inverness
Whose eyes were shining free
And every move she did make
Said that she wanted me

I rushed to meet her at the pool
Where fate and gladness meet
But little did I realize then
The glory of her treat


Have fun, but me and the other Drill Sergeants will be goin' around, keepin' ya on your toes, whacking you if you slack off too much. You really gotta watch out for that Drill Sergeant Muffin, the Senior Drill Sergeant-- she's really tough. If she comes by and inspects you, you'd better snap to attention real quick!

Hup, two! Double time, now!

 

[JUDO]

Huh?

Yessir, Drill Sergeant, sir!

But...but...I have a question. Could you elaborate on the "a4b3c4b3?" abdb is the rhyming scheme per stanza, right? What's the 4 3 4 3 thing?

Is it like 4 ictus on the first line...
ta-DAH ta-DAH ta-DAH ta-DAH
followed by 3 ictus on the second?
ta-DAH ta-DAH ta-DAH
and repeat this for the last two lines:
ta-DAH ta-DAH ta-DAH ta-DAH
ta-DAH ta-DAH ta-DAH
???

So, if diagramed, it might look like:

- --- - --- - --- - ---A
- --- - --- - ---B
- --- - --- - --- - ---C
- --- - --- - ---B

???


- Judo

 

[REDWAVE]

Bingo!

You got it, Judo, that's it exactly. I'll talk to Chief Drill Sergeant Muffin about getting a pass for you for this weekend.


To give you all a little inspiration, here's a very fine example of a modern ballad by Dudley Randall, an African-American poet.

BALLAD OF BIRMINGHAM

"Mother dear, may I go downtown
Instead of out to play,
And march the streets of Birmingham
In a Freedom March today?"

"No, baby, no, you may not go,
For the dogs are fierce and wild,
And clubs and hoses, guns and jails
Aren't good for a little child."

"But, mother, I won't be alone.
Other children will go with me,
And march the streets of Birmingham
To make our country free."

"No, baby, no, you may not go,
For I fear those guns will fire.
But you may go to church instead
And sing in the children's choir."

She has combed and brushed her night-dark har,
And bathed rose petal sweet,
And drawn white gloves on her small brown hands,
And white shoes on her feet.

The mother smiled to know her child
Was in the sacred place.
But that smile was the last smile
To come upon her face.

For when she heard the explosion,
Her eyes grew wet and wild.
She raced through the streets of Birmingham
Calling for her child.

She clawed through bits of glass and brick,
Then lifted out a shoe.
"O, here's the shoe my baby wore,
But, baby, where are you?"

 

[REDWAVE]

More "Inverness"

Well, hell, if no one will play with me, I'll play with myself-- heh, heh. Here's some more of "Inverness":

Her eyes were wild, her hair was free
Her fingers came trailing down
She took me to the highest heights
Then dashed me to the ground

The kiss of life was on her lips
Her honeypot's sweet ooze
But there was another card to play
That I was forced to choose


Feel free to add on, or start a new one.

 

[JUDO]

Darling, I'll play

(And here's a fun little conundrum for you to play with)

A continuation of RW's "Inverness"

"I've been kissed by many a boy
And dreams I've had each day,
But a virgin it is before you stands
And that I wish to stay."

I felt my ardor lose its ground
And quick, she added still
"My maidenhead today remains
But you can have your fill."

I wondered at the turn of phrase
As she peeled down her top
And pushed me to a darkened room
Behind the garden shop.

Her breasts were free to covet now
While she knelt down on grass.
"It's mouth or tits you'll tease today
And then you'll have my ass!"


(...and what, pray tell, will come next?)

 

[REDWAVE]

Fore & Aft

I love it-- a technical virgin! Here's what happens next:


Down on her knees she kissed my staff
Her primal need to suck
And I was near beside myself
At such a stroke of luck

I watched her head bob on my cock
Enjoyed each slurping sound
But my eyes widened with delight
When she said "Turn around"

"Yeah, I eat butt," she lewdly said
"I'm such a naughty girl"
Then I leaned forward with a smile
As she did her tongue swirl


Phwew! JUDO, report to the Drill Sergeant's office for some personalized "hands on" instruction.

 

[Whispersecret]

I'm enjoying this ballad. Keep it up! (Pardon the pun.)

 

[REDWAVE]

Group poetry, anyone?

Whisper, baby, why don't you join in and make it a threesome?


I'm also happy with the way this poem has turned out so far. When it's finished, I plan to post it on the poetry index as a group poem. Anyone who feels inspired, feel free to join in!

 

[Whispersecret]

I'm sorely tempted, but still sick with a head cold. Perhaps in a few days. Thanks for the invite, though. Makes me smile that you'd want me to join in.

 

[JUDO]

Turnabout...

...is fair play.


[Another in a continuing continuations of RW's "Inverness"]

"It's time to pay the piper, love."
She sat down on the grass.
She pulled her bottoms off her feet
And gently rubbed her ass.

Her smile curled at its corner,
Her gaze was burning bright
As knees spread wide before me,
I shivered at the sight.

A rose of delicious portion
bloomed right before my eyes.
Licking my lips and laying prone,
I measured her for size.

A virginal passage, to be sure
Tight as a baby's bum.
Before the day was put to rest,
I planned to get me some.

Handfulls of cheek were grabbed
as I pushed my tongue inside.
"Oh, gently lover, make this last!"
This stirred my swelling pride.

Every scale of learned tongue
Was played in every key.
Her hips began to buck in time.
She cried out, "Lucky me!"

My head was grabbed and pushed against
Those lips so slick with juice.
Once, twice, thrice she came
Then beckoned for more abuse.

Panting, she rolled over
On elbows and knees she rose.
Then, glancing over her shoulder
She crooked her fingers and toes.

"Fuck my ass with steely lance,
But careful with your pole.
Your good reward's my butt today,
The other's a forbidden hole."

I smiled and knee-walked forward.
She sighed as I lubed her keen.
Then grunted loudly with hands on hips
As I plunged my cock in clean.

A wonderous grip she had on me,
Squeezing my delighted length.
Surprised I was at talent so sweet.
I'd never guessed her strength.

Out of control, I was at first
And thought I'd met my match,
But I regained my wits and thought again,
A delicate plot I'd hatch.

(Touche, RW. A batte royal of the sex titans! hee-hee).


- Judo

(edited for meter)

 

[REDWAVE]

Taking the beach

You're a very naughty girl, JUDO-- I'll have to see you in my office every evening. Moving right along:

I pulled my wand from out her cave
She gasped to feel it go
Since I can go both ways myself
That gaping hole I know

It was my turn to kiss her ass
I licked her puckered hole
I drooled and slobbered all over it
While stroking my own pole

And then probing with my fingers
I played with her pussy
Between my tongue and probing hand
She was in ecstasy

Then I slammed my cock in her twat
And blood came spurting out
To me it felt really great
But she began to shout

"You've ruined me, you lousy bastard!
No man will marry me
For now I won't be able to
Bleed for him-- ah, misery!"

I'll let you take it from there, JUDO.

 

[JUDO]

An End?

(He bit off a bit more than he could chew, darling.)

Another continuation (and conclusion?) or RW's "Inverness."


"Bastard, am I?" I shouted back,
Continuing to hump and thrust.
I noticed she didn't try to stop
As blood turned to crust.

Panting, she swatted my sweaty hands
That gripped her hips so tight.
Was it complaints they showered down
Or whips to do her right?

"I'm ruined, you savage, beautiful boy.
You've taken my girlish prize.
But ride me to the finish line,
Ecstacy's on the rise."

As many a girl could tell you straight,
I've granted their every wish.
A genie in bed they'd call me when
My hips danced like a fish.

But something grew within so bright
My eyes began to weep.
As this girl's lips so cherished me,
I drove in straight and deep.

A wonderous meter rang my ears
So pleasureable the peel
That I began to sing aloud,
My mind began to reel.

Heaven opened above us and
The Angels flew right down.
Beating white wings against us free,
On her, they placed a crown.

"Oh, divine Titania Queen,
This boy, he knows not.
What wonderous plunder he has found.
What pleasure he hath wrought."

"Fly my minions, deliver me pure
After this Earthly grace.
Once more, boom the cannons hence
As you leave our lusting place."

The sky rang closed above our heads
And thunder rang below.
I wondered what would happen now
At the end of this, our show?

The room began to loudly quake,
My mind spun round and round.
My loins shook. My balls blew up.
And jetstreams commenced to pound.

A wonderous Holy orgasm lit
Bright glow where we connect.
I couldn't stop for sake of me
This righteous genuflect.

I blacked out quite delightedly
and fell on sticky grass.
Pleasure filled my mind and heart.
I hoped it'd never pass.

Awakened the next morning alone,
I inspected my meaty snake
And found it rimmed with writing.
"What's that, for God's sake?!"

Difficult it was to read it then
The twisted rod was small,
But damned if it didn't tell me true
What wonder did befall.

It seems this maid of Inverness
Was Holy through and through
And upon my flesh, the writing read
"Saintly Cock of the Screw."


How about "Our Lady of Inverness" for a title, RW?

This was fun, I really enjoyed it. Thanks.


- Judo

(edited for meter and word usage)

 

[REDWAVE]

Holy fuck, Batman!

ROTFLMAO, JUDO! You're not only naughty-- you're downright mischevious.

That's an interesting ending, but I don't know. I'll be back later with an alternate ending.

 

[REDWAVE]

In a parallel universe

I think I like this ending better:


"Not true, sweet babe of Inverness
For I will marry you
And carry you off to the dark forest
And be your lover true"

At that, she brightened up a bit
She looked back saucily
"O, well-- the hell; in that case, stud
Please finish fucking me"

I thrusted and slammed, fucked her hard
I gave her all I had
She squirmed and moaned and twisted so
I made her pussy glad

Then reaching my zenith of bliss
I let out a bellow
Pulled out and creamed her ass, back, legs
I really let it go

We kissed and fondled for a while
And murmured like a brook
I said again I loved her true
While stroking her love nook

But of course it was all a lie
I'm not the marryin' type
But I still think of her sometimes
While I puff my hash pipe


Well, wutta ya think, gang? Which do you prefer-- JUDO's ending or mine?

 

[JUDO]

Mine, mine, mine!

Yes, a shameless attempt to sway the judges (*flashes tits*).

Pick my ending! Pick my end! (*Bending over, showing the judges my end*).

Besides, RW, your chick's too much of a wimp, putting up with that ending.


- Judo

 

[Guest]

Redwave, Judo and ballads

I COULD mutter something about sexist pigs but I am laughing too hard.
GP

 

[HomerPindar]

Re: Redwave, Judo and ballads

I COULD mutter something about sexist pigs but I am laughing too hard.
GP

Indeed, GP

But why must we choose, they're both fine works, and each worthy of their due...

(kissing ass will get you anywhere....as this ballad clearly demonstrated)

HomerPindar

 

[REDWAVE]

Drat!

O sure, HP, your answer represents the height of diplomacy, all right. It's always safer to sit on the fence than to take a side. But it doesn't help me decide which ending is really better.

Besides, I'm at a disadvantage here. I'd flash my tits, too-- but I don't have any, just nipples. I'd be happy to wiggle my butt, too, but JUDO's is a lot younger and prettier than mine.

 

[JUDO]

Re: Drat!

Besides, I'm at a disadvantage here. I'd flash my tits, too-- but I don't have any, just nipples. I'd be happy to wiggle my butt, too, but JUDO's is a lot younger and prettier than mine.

(Well, heck, I guess I win by default then. LOL.)

Why don't you post it with both endings, RW? Let the readers decide for themselves. Maybe label them "HIS ending:" and "HER ending:"

Maybe even add a little note to the readers at the beginning explaining what we did [bracketed] and in italics so they don't read it as part of the poem. Set the readers up with that, so they understand the "why" of two endings.

Something like this, maybe:

[Dear reader: The following poem was a collaboration between two poets and as a result, there are two endings. Please decide which ending you like best. - RW & J]

What say? Sort've like, interactive audience-participation poetry!


- Judo

 

[HomerPindar]

Re: Drat!

O sure, HP, your answer represents the height of diplomacy, all right. It's always safer to sit on the fence than to take a side. But it doesn't help me decide which ending is really better.

One would only count as better than the other if there was a clear and technical problem with one over the other. I don't see such a problem with either one, so better in this case is a matter of personal preferance. And there's certainly no reason why my opinion is better than another... so, post them both, giver yourself lead credit on your own, and Judo lead credit on the other.

Besides, I'm at a disadvantage here. I'd flash my tits, too-- but I don't have any, just nipples. I'd be happy to wiggle my butt, too, but JUDO's is a lot younger and prettier than mine.

Although, this does sound like a tempting form of judge tampering...

HomerPindar

 

[JUDO]

Re: Re: Drat!

Although, this does sound like a tempting form of judge tampering...

HomerPindar

Ha! You want to see a real skating scandal? Just imagine the Russian team caught at the Hilton with the French judge the night before. Now there's a worthy celeb story for our site!


- Judo

 

[REDWAVE]

All right

OK, JUDO, I guess we'll have to go both ways. I'll post my version of the ballad under my name, with a byline giving you credit as co-author. You post your version under your name, with a byline giving me credit as co-author. Fair enough?

 

[JUDO]

Can't do both?

Is there no way for us to post as co-authors? Leaving the two endings in one post?


- Judo

 

[HomerPindar]

Re: Can't do both?

Is there no way for us to post as co-authors? Leaving the two endings in one post?


- Judo

If you find it, let me know. I have a poem that spits like so many hairs into various endings and I'd love to post it...only I don't think I can make it readable via the online system without something being worked out.

HomerPindar

 

[JUDO]

The Whole Enchilada

How about this, RW? I post the following as is, with links for you and I at the beginning.

- J

------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
(The following balladic poem was written as a collaborative effort by two poets. However, they couldn't decide how to finish it, so two endings are included here for you to decide.)
----------------------------------------------------

Our Lady of Inverness: A long ballad

by Redwave © & Judo ©

I met a girl in Inverness
Whose eyes were shining free
And every move that she did make
Said she wanted me.

I rushed to meet her at the pool
Where fate and gladness meet,
But little did I realize then
The glory of her treat.

Her eyes were wild, her hair was free,
Her fingers came trailing down.
She took me to the highest heights,
Then dashed me to the ground.

The kiss of life was on her lips.
Her honeypot's sweet ooze,
But there was another card to play
That I was forced to choose.

"I've been kissed by many a boy
And dreams I've had each day,
But a virgin it is before you stands
And that I wish to stay."

I felt my ardor lose its ground
And quick, she added still,
"My maidenhead today remains
But you can have your fill."

I wondered at the turn of phrase
As she peeled down her top
And pushed me to a darkened room
Behind the garden shop.

Her breasts were free to covet now
While she knelt down on grass.
"It's mouth or tits you'll tease today
And then you'll have my ass!"

Down on her knees, she kissed my staff
Her primal need to suck
And I was near beside myself
At such a stroke of luck.

I watched her head bob on my cock.
Enjoyed each slurping sound,
But my eyes widened with delight
When she said "Turn around!"

"Yeah, I eat butt," she lewdly said,
"I'm such a naughty girl."
Then I leaned forward with a smile
As she did her tongue swirl.

"It's time to pay the piper, love."
She sat down on the grass.
She pulled her bottoms off her feet
And gently rubbed her ass.

Her smile curled at its corner,
Her gaze was burning bright
As knees spread wide before me,
I shivered at the sight.

A rose of delicious portion
Bloomed right before my eyes.
Licking my lips and laying prone,
I measured her for size.

A virginal passage, to be sure
Tight as a baby's bum.
Before the day was put to rest,
I planned to get me some.

Handfulls of cheek were grabbed
As I pushed my tongue inside.
"Oh, gently lover, make this last!"
This stirred my swelling pride.

Every scale of learned tongue
Was played in every key.
Her hips began to buck in time.
She cried out, "Lucky me!"

My head was grabbed and pushed against
Those lips so slick with juice.
Once, twice, thrice she came
Then beckoned for more abuse.

Panting, she rolled over
On elbows and knees she rose.
Then, glancing over her shoulder,
She crooked her fingers and toes.

"Fuck my ass with steely lance,
But careful with your pole.
Your good reward's my butt today,
The other's a forbidden hole."

I smiled and knee-walked forward.
She sighed as I lubed her keen.
Then grunted loudly with hands on hips
As I plunged my cock in clean.

A wonderous grip she had on me,
Squeezing my delighted length.
Surprised I was at talent so sweet.
I'd never guessed her strength.

Out of control, I was at first
And thought I'd met my match,
But I regained my wits and thought,
A delicate plot I'd hatch.

I pulled my wand from out her cave.
She gasped to feel it go.
Since I can go both ways myself,
That gaping hole I know.

It was my turn to kiss her ass.
I licked her puckered hole.
I drooled and slobbered all over it
While stroking my own pole.

And then, probing with my fingers
I played with her pussy.
Between my tongue and probing hand,
She was in ecstasy.

Then, I slammed her twat with cock
And blood came spurting out.
To me it felt really great,
But she began to shout,

"You've ruined me, you lousy bastard!
No man will marry me
For now I won't be able to
Bleed for him-- ah, misery!"

----------------------------------------------------
(And now, the two endings...please choose which you one like best.)
----------------------------------------------------

Her Ending:
"Bastard, am I?" I shouted back,
Continuing to hump and thrust.
I noticed she didn't try to stop
As blood turned to crust.

Panting, she swatted my sweaty hands
That gripped her hips so tight.
Was it complaints they showered down
Or whips to do her right?

"I'm ruined, you savage, beautiful boy.
You've taken my girlish prize.
But ride me to the finish line,
Ecstacy's on the rise."

As many a girl could tell you straight,
I've granted their every wish.
A genie in bed they'd call me when
My hips danced like a fish.

But something grew within so bright
My eyes began to weep.
As this girl's lips so cherished me,
I drove in straight and deep.

A wonderous meter rang my ears
So pleasureable the peel
That I began to sing aloud,
My mind began to reel.

Heaven opened above us and
The Angels flew right down.
Beating white wings against us free,
her, they placed a crown.

"Oh, divine Titania Queen,
This boy, he knows not.
What wonderous plunder he has found.
What pleasure he hath wrought."

"Fly my minions, deliver me pure
After this Earthly grace.
Once more, boom the cannons hence
As you leave our lusting place."

The sky rang closed above our heads
And thunder rang below.
I wondered what would happen now
At the end of this, our show?

The room began to loudly quake,
My mind spun round and round.
My loins shook. My balls blew up.
And jetstreams commenced to pound.

A wonderous Holy orgasm lit
Bright glow where we connect.
I couldn't stop for sake of me
This righteous genuflect.

I blacked out quite delightedly
And fell on sticky grass.
Pleasure filled my mind and heart.
I hoped it'd never pass.

Awakened the next morning alone,
I inspected my meaty snake
And found it rimmed with writing.
"What's that, for God's sake?!"

Difficult it was to read it then
The twisted rod was small,
But damned if it didn't tell me true
What wonder did befall.

It seems this maid of Inverness
Was Holy through and through
And upon my flesh, the writing read
"Saintly Cock of the Screw."


His Ending:
"Not true, sweet babe of Inverness
For I will marry you
And carry you off to the dark forest
And be your lover true."

At that, she brightened up a bit
She looked back saucily,
"O, well-- the hell; in that case, stud
Please finish fucking me."

I thrusted and slammed, fucked her hard.
I gave her all I had.
She squirmed and moaned and twisted so
I made her pussy glad.

Then reaching my zenith of bliss,
I let out a bellow.
Pulled out and creamed her ass, back, legs.
I really let it go.

We kissed and fondled for a while
And murmured like a brook.
I said again I loved her true
While stroking her love nook.

But of course it was all a lie.
I'm not the marryin' type,
But I still think of her sometimes
While I puff my hash pipe.