Poetic Reality

[perks]

your skin
caramel glimmers
sparkling
across moonlit water
teasing me with a splash
reminding
my id
how much
I fucking hate you.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Lovely! Last line's genius

 

[Angeline]

Short but Powerful

Perky, I like this: great extended image and the last line is killer! Also I like the suggestion behind "reminding my id": subliminal awareness of strong emotion.

Not sure about the transition from skin to splash though; I feel like there should be something to convey how you were splashed by the other's skin.

Here's a suggestion.

your skin
caramel glimmers
sparkling
across moonlit water
your hand
teasing me with a splash
reminding
my id
how much
I fucking hate you.

Thank you for the read.

Angeline

 

[perks]

think reflection in rough water, but yes, you're correct. I'm not sure I would add the hand, maybe I should change the splash.

thank you for your comments, I enjoy cc.

perks