T
TOKUQINN
Guest
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twelveoone
ground zero
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- Mar 13, 2004
- Posts
- 5,882
I knew a poet
who once left comments
and would advice the same
This poet I knew
wise beyond his years oft said
If you can't parse it, maybe, it's really not there
And midway through his journey in life
in a forest full of tampons
he saw a tree
pissed on it
and got out fast
before the chainsaws of Poetic Souls
howling and yowling came in
Later he had a beer.
Put it in perspective
who once left comments
and would advice the same
This poet I knew
wise beyond his years oft said
If you can't parse it, maybe, it's really not there
And midway through his journey in life
in a forest full of tampons
he saw a tree
pissed on it
and got out fast
before the chainsaws of Poetic Souls
howling and yowling came in
Later he had a beer.
Put it in perspective
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
- Joined
- May 20, 2007
- Posts
- 15,794
What's a blue color job?
Magnetron
Deep Under Groundhog
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2014
- Posts
- 4,089
Usually decent paying unionized labor as far as the States goes. Auto factory workers and such.
twelveoone
ground zero
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2004
- Posts
- 5,882
a blow job by a girl with blue lipstick
quitted must be one of those goddawefull rap terms for ejaculation
he probably meant collar as in blue collar an extinct species in the US
twelveoone
ground zero
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2004
- Posts
- 5,882
Go with this,
First off, how good is your English? Do you see how funny this is?
I know a poet
who lived at slums most of his life
who was a street denizen time to time.
I know a poet
who was very hands on
as a cockroach exterminator.
- for this service
he skipped the rent and the landlady.
I am glad to know him.
(but I'll be damned if I'll shake his hand)
or continuing
I know this poet
who lived on the edge
who left a great footprint
on the poetry ground.
Plus he taught me
how to jack cars for cigarettes.
(unfortunately the police matched the footprints)
Perhaps that is not what you are looking for.
A serious piece of advice, find some one in New Poems, preferably some one that leaves comments (why reward the deadbeats), read theirs, read their poems, leave some comments. Leave a five, 'cause right now they are probably better than you.
What I am asking you to do, is very simply this, if you like something, find out why.
One the plus this is organized, and it has its moments, it is basically a modified list poem, which is inherently boring, That is a limitation of the form which you have to work around.
T
TOKUQINN
Guest
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smoothg103rd
Too young to stress
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2013
- Posts
- 17,853
U mad bro?
I am confused by your reaction, 1201 has added a compliment that this piece has its moments, he has detailed where things are wrong and made allowance for the fact that English may be a second language. the last poem you posted here had some silly comments but not much of substance. take of the blinders of feeling insulted and try to re-read when you aren't angry.
this could be a means to your writing getting better with some more thought on what has been said. not much else got offered to you by any one else think about why, maybe no one thought it worth comment, I read it and didn't have much time for the piece so moved on quickly. 1201 read it parsed it and offered you more than any other, please think about that at least.
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
- Joined
- May 20, 2007
- Posts
- 15,794
I knew he meant 'blue collar' I was being facetious naughty me *slapped wrist*
although I do prefer the blow job answer lol
twelveoone
ground zero
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2004
- Posts
- 5,882
suffering from toxic shock, tokipoo?
I read three of your poems, they all suffer from O how important I am. Over in new poems, I haven't seen a comment from you. Too good?
What I said that there are at least 5 poets over in New poems that are better than you that do leave comments. You could have shut your fucking mouth, stuffed your ego along with your limp dick up your ass, and fucking leaned something.
"A serious piece of advice, suck my cock"
WOW, that is the most serious defense of your writing you could muster?
Well at least you didn't claim the "poet' defense.
This poem is a list poem, at least 20 people could have generated it in their sleep, and at least 18 of them would have thought better about posting it.
"A serious piece of advice, suck my cock"
On the street, I guarantee, I may have responded differently...decorum, you know.
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