Pmann’s Asian Murder Hornet Survival Guide

[Lord Pmann]

I’ve pretty much single handedly gotten all of Lit through this coronavirus thing without a single death. So I’m now here to protect us all from this Asian Invasion of hornets. Man, Asia tricked us good. They got us hooked on sweet Hello Kitty and Pokémon. Then when we were busy watching Japanese porn, they sent us coronavirus and some devil hornets.

Well I’m here to guide you through not getting killed by the murderous bastards.

1. If you see a nest about ten feet above you, avoid the temptation of whipping out your dick and swatting it.

2. Their nests are not at all like a glory hole.

3. Do NOT do as Coyote Peterson does and let them sting you. If you do, please upload it here. https://youtu.be/Chb_Iyx9ODQ

4. Do NOT attempt to fuck the hornets. They may band together to form the silhouette of a curvy woman. Do not be fooled. Her vagina is filled with stingers.

5. Do NOT attempt to Exotic Joe yourself and come up with an exotic hornet petting zoo. From day zero these bastards are mean. You’re opening yourself up to a lawsuit.

Feel free to add your advice here. I’ll let you know if you’ve given good or bad advice.

Also, tell me about any embarrassing bug encounters. Not crabs, you sick fuckers.

https://cdn.xl.thumbs.canstockphoto.com/vector-stickman-cartoon-of-male-tourist-running-away-followed-by-two-angry-bees-or-wasps-cartoon-drawing_csp46418793.jpg

 

[catherinewheel77]

️️️️️, Lord P.

Particularly 1, 2, and 4.

“Devil hornets”..haha!

 

[catherinewheel77]

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/845/488/589.png

 

[Lord Pmann]

This is a big ass picture

According to Coyote Peterson, they fall as a category 4. Not as bad as the Executioner Wasp (not shown) but potentially worse than the Bullet Ant.

https://cropper.watch.aetnd.com/cdn.watch.aetnd.com/sites/2/2019/10/kings-of-pain-final-infographic-scale.jpg

 

[DeckardNYC]

There must be nobody left in Japan from these things. Jeez.

 

[catherinewheel77]

Insane! What a mutant nightmare.

I need some clonazepam now.

 

[DeckardNYC]

It's not bad enough Peterson goes around torturing his body with all these stings and bites, but did you notice the dumb ass was right next to a cliff on this one? I was afraid he was going to roll right over the edge -- the first American death from the Murder Hornet!!!

 

[Taegul]

That's quite the "Kings of Pain" list from Lord Pmann but there is only one wasp that I fear...

http://truemetal.org/waspcoliseum/photos/band2.gif

 

[catherinewheel77]

Hahaha! I just rewatched it. The guy’s certifiable.

 

[DeckardNYC]

I saw a longer version of the video on Facebook, and after rolling around in pain and telling viewers how bad it was HE LET THE FUCKING THING FLY AWAY!!!

 

[Acktion]

You tell 'em, Kato.

"It was the Green Bee!"

"Hornet."

"It was the Green Hornet!"

Reminds me of the time that an erstwhile friend of mine kidnapped me and took me out cruising back country roads. He had the windows down, doin' God knows how fast, his arm out the window, looked at me, and said, "I love nature."

Less than three seconds later, a bee had gone ass first in his elbow, we were swerving all over the road, and he was saying, "I fucking hate nature!"

COVID. Murder hornets. Yeah, fuck nature. I'll sit my pasty flabby ass right here at the computer where it's fuckin' safe other than the occasional troll or trollette.

 

[catherinewheel77]

I saw a longer version of the video on Facebook, and after rolling around in pain and telling viewers how bad it was HE LET THE FUCKING THING FLY AWAY!!!

He makes Johnny Knoxville look tame.

 

[DeckardNYC]

New news from the East. It appears Japanese bees are quite adept at killing Murder Hornets:

https://twitter.com/i/status/1257668293370040321

Obviously, the Murder Hornets are escaping persecution, and will be applying for asylum.

 

[blade_rocknut]

I'm here to inform you all that this inflammatory thread is an affront to all things Holy and must be removed , before it incites a spike in hate crimes against innocent Asian folk.

You see, I saw a hugely credible article from Salon or one of those other sites feigning relevance, in which it was explained to me in dumbed down SJW speak that we Americans are literally the devil because we keep conflating racial identities with disastrous things.

It was so convincing that I can no longer eat Mexican food with clear conscience. I'll still eat it, of course. But now I'm obliged to feel guilty.

It made me forget entirely, that Asia is a geographical noun and not a term which only applies to the human race.

 

[catherinewheel77]

^Superbly articulated.

I despise Salon and their ilk.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'm here to inform you all that this inflammatory thread is an affront to all things Holy and must be removed , before it incites a spike in hate crimes against innocent Asian folk.

You see, I saw a hugely credible article from Salon or one of those other sites feigning relevance, in which it was explained to me in dumbed down SJW speak that we Americans are literally the devil because we keep conflating racial identities with disastrous things.

It was so convincing that I can no longer eat Mexican food with clear conscience. I'll still eat it, of course. But now I'm obliged to feel guilty.

It made me forget entirely, that Asia is a geographical noun and not a term which only applies to the human race.

Should we rename them Suspect of Homicide Hornets instead of Murder Hornets to avoid any litigation from any SJWs? Or maybe Product of Their Upbringing Hornets?

 

[blade_rocknut]

We must build sanctuary hives, populated with Stockholm syndrome afflicted honeybees, so the invasives may go about their carnage without fear of persecution.

 

[hotwords229_A]

https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.XxqNvbd5GVxAu0fUBkY9OAHaFg?pid=Api

Call me when the Peruvian Pestilence Pelicans get here.

 

[tnman03]

We must build sanctuary hives, populated with Stockholm syndrome afflicted honeybees, so the invasives may go about their carnage without fear of persecution.

No worries...flame throwers are legal...and affordable....so what's a little pyromania among friends. Right??? Bring out the pickup trucks and beer and not only see pest control in action but also Darwinism at its finest.

 

[DeckardNYC]

We must build sanctuary hives, populated with Stockholm syndrome afflicted honeybees, so the invasives may go about their carnage without fear of persecution.

Referring to them as "invasive" is damaging to their psyche, and demeaning. They should be referred to as "guest bees pending documentation."

 

[Lord Pmann]

Undocumented pollen movers.

 

[Suz_anne]

More angry incels.

Make love, not war. ✌

 

[ydahecnot]

So am to take this to mean it’s OK to attack Asian-Americans who had fuck all to do with the virus coming here?

 

[Lord Pmann]

So am to take this to mean it’s OK to attack Asian-Americans who had fuck all to do with the virus coming here?

Asian-American hornets, yes.

 

[ydahecnot]

Asian-American hornets, yes.

Of course. But there was subtext