Pleasuring my girlfriend

[Guest]

Compared to most I guess Im inexperienced. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for close to a year. We don't sleep together, but we do often times fool around. I guess my problem comes when its my time to pleasure her.

She's still a virgin, and hasn't allowed me to go down on her, but does allow me to finger her. The only problem is I want to make sure I'm making everything as good for her as it is for me. If anyone can give me advice on how to make her orgasm please post it here. Thanks.

 

[Matt]

Why won't she let you go down on her?

 

[Laurel]

Some girls are self-conscious about their private parts. They're afraid they might look weird, smell funny, taste bad, any number of things. And some girls are just shy.

I'm not Dr. Ruth, but I'd suggest that you start above the waist. Kiss/lick her neck/ears/tender spots while you rub her torso (not just her breasts). If she seems to respond to her ears being licked, do it more! Go with what works.

Then, when she seems to be getting aroused, slip a hand down between her legs. Don't go straight for the clit, and don't rub too hard - just sort of massage the whole inner thigh from knee to knee with the palm of your hand. As you move around, you may notice she responds to certain areas more than others. Again, concentrate on those areas. Many girls, especially if they aren't all that sexually experienced, are hesitant to tell you what feels good because either a) they're too shy, or b) they honestly don't know what feels good.

Remember that the clitoris is very sensitive. Don't push hard - gently rub it back and forth. Also, don't try to ram your hand up inside her (unless she asks you to, of course). This can be scary for shy girls, and uncomfortable for her if she's not aroused. If you want to take a shot at giving her oral, maybe start kiss-licking your way down.

Just be gentle but firm. Don't rub her raw, and be sur enot to neglect her other errogenous zones (neck, ears, inner thigh, breasts, etc.) And don't be discouraged if she doesn't get uncontrollably horny the first time. Women sometimes take longer to get warmed up, but once they're hot - look out!

 

[Crystal]

You might want to try speaking to her as you are caressing her. Hearing somebody say sweet nothings in your ear can make you feel more comfortable and reassured with the situation. Also if she is letting you "finger" her than you may want to try gently rubbing the upper wall of her vagina as opposed to pulling your finger in and out. This enables her to feel more relaxed and should also bring her to an orgasm more easily. My experience says that once a mind-blowing orgasm has been achieved, the body naturally relaxes to different things and allows yourself to let your partner get more adventourous. Good luck!

 

[Miranda]

no oral!? lord have mercy.. god bless her heart. lol. Those two ladies gave you very good advice... especially laurel (gee, felt like I was reading a story)take your time with her.. go slow.. be gentle yet firm... and I get turned on, too, when my lovers talk to me.. I love to hear the passion in a voice. Even when I'm not sure I want to go through with something my man can usually work me up into enough of a horny frenzy to get me to jump off a bridge if he wanted to... I'm sure she'd let you go down on her

Miranda

 

[Mrhappy]

Here's a little known(or practiced)fact I learned yesterday from my doctor.
According to studies conducted at Duke University, The average time required to 'bring a woman to sexual readiness' is 38 minutes. The key, according to the study, is to begin at the top (her head) with caresses, stroking, etc., and to slowly work your way down her body. Be careful not to neglect her neck, ears, shoulders and so on. Listen to her breathing patterns and the beating of her heart. If you 'pay attention' to her involuntary responses to what you're doing, her body will let you know what she enjoys.
Go slow, don't spend too much time wearing out a good thing, etc. Move on and discover new things that excite her. Go back up to various areas, e.g., kiss the inside of her thighs, but don't forget her breasts...move back up and kiss her neck when you first bring your hand to her pussy. Before you part her lips with your fingers, run your tongue lightly around the lips of her mouth. Turn her entire body on, but slowly.
Remember...38 minutes (and for pitty sake, don't time yourself!), then use your tongue on her pussy. According to the Duke study, a woman can be satisfied without penile penetration if stimulated properly.
Good Luck, and have fun!

 

[SpecialK]

Lord almighty!!

Now I know it didn't take me 38 minutes to read these posts! <pant, pant>

Who needs stories?

My advice is to be patient. I'm still not comfortable with a guy going down on me. But I was thinking about it just the other day. Someone told me once that it is better if the woman squats over the guy. Is this true? I haven't a clue.

K

 

[PHANTOM5875]

SpecialK, you have a great sense of humor! Made me laugh with that last post.

I've come to understand the hesitation some of you gals have to letting your special person go down on you by reading various posts on this site. Wish I had that understanding when I was younger. The French blood I have in me just drives me to give pleasure to a woman's pussy. Must be genetic!

My most memorable and enjoyable experiences with my partner was to have her either lay on her back or side while giving her oral pleasure. This seemed to allow her to relax and enjoy the ride and the show. My personal favorite position is to have both of us lie on our sides, bring her in close pulling one thigh over the side of my face and neck. This allows me to take my time and bring her to the edge over and over. It also allows me to rub and stroke her over the rest of her body especially her butt and anal area. This is not so physically tiring and I could do this for hours if my gal would let me. (She doesn't,of course, because she gets so tremendously sensitive.

I think I would wait to squat over/get on top until you are really comfortable with your significant other making love to your pussy. Then, turn the tables, take the initiative, climb on top, bury yourself on their face showing just what your need and want. Talk to them, tell 'em how you need it. It's a tremendous rush to me, even now, when my gal takes control and makes love to my face with that wonderful pussy!

Go for it, be patient, and teach your special one what feels good. You'll be rewarded a thousand fold for the tutoring.

PHANTOM

[This message has been edited by PHANTOM5875 (edited 12-04-1999).]

 

[Michael]

I agree that Laurel, Crystal, and others have given some excellent advice here. I had to learn a lot about pleasuring a woman manually during my two marriages. My first wife had some strange attitudes about sex and would rarely agree to intercourse at all; we mostly masturbated each other, with intercourse being a rare treat.

My second wife was competely uninhibited, but we didn't have intercourse 'til three months before we got married (in case there was an "accident") and during marriage, we didn't have intercourse during her two pregnancies.

In addition to the advice given above about paying attention to every part of her body, caressing her, talking to her, and taking your time, what worked best for me was to eventually use two fingers at the same time--one playing with her clitoris, the other penetrating her very deeply--while I sucked one of her nipples. Again, this was what happened only after mrhappy's stipulated 38 minutes of preparation!

Obviously, for instance, I didn't start right in with two fingers in her. But once we had "worked up" to that point, with proper preparation and getting her relaxed, the technique I mentioned resulted in some very powerful orgasms for both women.

As to the question about the best position for a woman to receive oral sex, in my experience, what worked best was for me to start licking her throat, working my way down to her breasts, taking my time there, of course, then slowly licking and kissing down her torso. As I did this, of course, she would be getting more excited and begin to open her legs in anticipation. At some point, I usually got up from lying beside her and knelt beside her instead, facing her feet, which enabled me eventually to rest on my forearms and put my mouth between her legs while she reached up and played with my penis.