Pleasure/Pain definition

[YerHmblNarrator]

At what point does a preference for pain become a BDSM..... fetish, I guess would be the term. For instance, biting and scratching during orgasm. What amount is "mainstream" pain derived pleasure? What lengths does one need to travel before it becomes fetishistic?

Is there any generally accpeted norm for this? Or does it simply ammount to if your partner thinks you're weird, then its a fetish, if not, then you just have a fondness for something different?

I was just wondering

 

[catalina_francisco]

At what point does a preference for pain become a BDSM..... fetish, I guess would be the term. For instance, biting and scratching during orgasm. What amount is "mainstream" pain derived pleasure? What lengths does one need to travel before it becomes fetishistic?

Is there any generally accpeted norm for this? Or does it simply ammount to if your partner thinks you're weird, then its a fetish, if not, then you just have a fondness for something different?

I was just wondering

I think for me the general idea is whether mainstream society sees it as a fetish. I don't actually think of myself a a fetishist until I have one of those lists to fill out which have the fetish included at the top or somewhere....LOL, sort of reminds me not everyone is into what I am.

I also think though many scratch and bite during sex, particularly orgasm, what defines it as a fetish for many is when it becomes something you crave and need to feel the ultimate pleasure. Hope this has helped.

Catalina

 

[corkie2]

I agree with Catalina. When you begin to crave what it is you enjoy, when the need to have/do/have done to you begin's to take over your body and mind when you are denied it then, it becomes a fetish.

 

[Kajira Callista]

fetish is that what all this is? hehe
My take is...this is me this is what I like, want, need. Call it whatever you want, it doesnt change the desire. Some ppl may like the idea of it being called a kink or fetish, I personally dont. Its who I am and nothing more.

 

[Pure]

I don't believe a liking for pain is a fetish. So lets talk about a sexual deviation or 'paraphilia' as in DSM. Well, lots of us agree with Freud: everyone has deviate impulses, e.g., to bite and scratch; to display oneself.

I believe "craving" for that special activity is close to what needed to answer your question: the 'orthodox' answer is that it's a deviation if it *replaces* the normal intercourse to orgasm process. I.e., your scratching, though a deviant component of you, does NOT make you a deviant (paraphiliac) so long as you end up with insertive fucking and orgasm is each session. If you insist on being scratched by someone while you jerk off rather than fuck them, then you're deviant.

The other side of the answer is the old 'leben und arbeiten' idea. Something is a psychological disorder if it substantially affects your love relationships and/or your work. I.e., you are so intent on finding persons to inflict pain on you that you become in danger of losing your job, your spouse, etc.

 

[YerHmblNarrator]

Thank you all for your replies. The line in the sand has apparently been drawn, but exactly where remains a mystery. It seems that the label fetish is applied by other people when it interferes with/disrupts/or prevents normal functioning. If you can still carry on relationships without it being an everpresent need (vs a want) then you are just your average run of the mill perv.

Am I right? I'll even settle for remarkably close.