Please!
- Thread starter MissTaken
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Desert Amazon
Esse Quam Videri
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YoungGun69
Literotica Guru
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Ha ha ha
YoungGun69
Literotica Guru
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more
YoungGun69
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One Last
Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
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Here is some IT humor:
Date: Mon, 9 Apr 2001 14:21:30 -0400 (EDT)
GOOD MORNING! Today is April 9, and this is ... InformationWeek
Daily! Business innovation powered by technology brought to you
by InformationWeek magazine. Check out
http://update.informationweek.com/cgi-bin4/flo?y=eDM10BcbtV0V20WH0AL
** Server 54, Where Are You?
The University of North Carolina has finally found a network
server that, although missing for four years, hasn't missed a
packet in all that time.
Try as they might, university administrators couldn't find the
server. Working with Novell, IT workers tracked it down by
meticulously following cable until they literally ran into a
wall. The server had been mistakenly sealed behind drywall by
maintenance workers. - John Rendleman
Date: Mon, 9 Apr 2001 14:21:30 -0400 (EDT)
GOOD MORNING! Today is April 9, and this is ... InformationWeek
Daily! Business innovation powered by technology brought to you
by InformationWeek magazine. Check out
http://update.informationweek.com/cgi-bin4/flo?y=eDM10BcbtV0V20WH0AL
** Server 54, Where Are You?
The University of North Carolina has finally found a network
server that, although missing for four years, hasn't missed a
packet in all that time.
Try as they might, university administrators couldn't find the
server. Working with Novell, IT workers tracked it down by
meticulously following cable until they literally ran into a
wall. The server had been mistakenly sealed behind drywall by
maintenance workers. - John Rendleman
Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
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- Aug 24, 2001
- Posts
- 5,735
Lucky Pigs
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig. How'd they figure this out, and why?)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling? And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...? Did taxpayers pay for this research??)
Polar bears are left-handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, did they ask them?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you imagine? And why pigs?)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. (Creepy)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the....) (Well, at least pigs get a break there...)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still want to be a pig ... quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, Geez. That's almost as bad as catfish)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)
After reading all these, all I can say is.............Lucky Pigs...
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig. How'd they figure this out, and why?)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling? And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...? Did taxpayers pay for this research??)
Polar bears are left-handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, did they ask them?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you imagine? And why pigs?)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. (Creepy)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the....) (Well, at least pigs get a break there...)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still want to be a pig ... quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, Geez. That's almost as bad as catfish)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.)
After reading all these, all I can say is.............Lucky Pigs...
bluntforcemama
Aqua Vulva
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- Nov 11, 2000
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- 30,225
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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- Jun 30, 2001
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THANKS ALL! My turn now....
Some are funny and some are stupid! Hope you get a small chuckle!
Funny Bumper Stickers
1. Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an ass.
2. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
3. Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow your date!
4. Guys, just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be
one.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
7. Hang up and drive.
8. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"
9. Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
10. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
11. Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by
itself.
12. The proctologist called, they found your head.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
14. Some people just don't know how to drive. I call these people
"Everybody But Me."
15. Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
Some are funny and some are stupid! Hope you get a small chuckle!
Funny Bumper Stickers
1. Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an ass.
2. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
3. Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow your date!
4. Guys, just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be
one.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
7. Hang up and drive.
8. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"
9. Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
10. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
11. Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by
itself.
12. The proctologist called, they found your head.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
14. Some people just don't know how to drive. I call these people
"Everybody But Me."
15. Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2001
- Posts
- 5,735
Re: THANKS ALL! My turn now....
That would be a pretty good signature.MissTaken said:
I have known people like that. You mean like this:
Last edited:
Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
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- Aug 24, 2001
- Posts
- 5,735
Re: OH MY GOD!!!!
No - I took that photo of someone I used to work for - two jobs ago. We didn't get much done with him walking around like that.
STG
MissTaken said:
No - I took that photo of someone I used to work for - two jobs ago. We didn't get much done with him walking around like that.
STG
G
Guest
Guest
Here's one for you, illustrating that being a perv can begin at a fairly early age --
Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
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- Aug 24, 2001
- Posts
- 5,735
Happy said:
Excellent - looks like she is enjoying it too.
Here is one proving you can never be too young to cop an attitude:
Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
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- Aug 24, 2001
- Posts
- 5,735
Pokerman said:
I think "gragging" is slang - maybe British.
gragging
it really is too bad that is misspelled...cause it is really funny...can it be fixed???? please repost if it can...and keep taking picts of kids feeling each other up...i think that is still legal in the State of...oh wait..it isnt...but that doesnt make this pic any less funny!
rabo
it really is too bad that is misspelled...cause it is really funny...can it be fixed???? please repost if it can...and keep taking picts of kids feeling each other up...i think that is still legal in the State of...oh wait..it isnt...but that doesnt make this pic any less funny!
rabo
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