Please think

[Impish]

I've seen a lot of very rude posts lately. Not responding to topic - just blatent putdowns. I bet I'm not alone in my irritation.

Please. This is a resource for many. You may not agree with a poster, but don't be rude about it. And if you don't have a sincere question on the topic, or advice - then don't post. Please. Go to the playground to play your mean games.

Rant over.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I've seen a lot of very rude posts lately. Not responding to topic - just blatent putdowns. I bet I'm not alone in my irritation.

Please. This is a resource for many. You may not agree with a poster, but don't be rude about it. And if you don't have a sincere question on the topic, or advice - then don't post. Please. Go to the playground to play your mean games.

Rant over.

I think part of the problem is who judges what is a sincere question or relevant response. I find it limiting to have to exclude based on what I see as relevent and counterproductive to why I come to the forum. I come here to discuss issues as adults in an adult form of play or lifestyle, and through that grow and evolve continuously. Without the input of others who may not be on the same wavelength as me, I find that opportunity constricted. It remains for me if you do not want open and honest input, but put a question to the forum with a set idea of the responses you want to read, why bother except to reassure yourself you are right and as I believe there is rarely a right or wrong here, it does not work for me to contribute in that fashion. Sometimes you have to look beyond the words, or challenge your own understanding of a post.

I admit some posters become a little abrasive to the eye who is not accustomed to that person's personality or ways, but that is what gives us diversity and pushes us to try and look at things from another perspective, and also to realise what you see is not always the complete story, nor can you always form an opinion of another based on your own concepts alone without being extremely judgemental. I do not appreciate the trolls who appear from time to time from elsewhere on Lit, but they too have their reasons, just I do not think it is the desire or responsibility of regular posters to try and understand. As for evicting regulars, where do you think the forum is going to end? I doubt there is one person on the board regularly who has not at some point offended, disagreed with, or hurt another's feelings intentionally or not. If each time anyone did that they were compelled to go away we would end up with a forum of short stayers and little to offer. While I think it good to remind others to think before typing, I also think it has to be remembered we are adults and we are often discussing issues that are close to us and habitually topical and emotion loaded.

Catalina

 

[Impish]

Respectfully I am talking about rude posts. If you read what I said: "not responding to topic, just blatent putdowns." I'm not talking about disagreement or different points of view. I'm talking about RUDE posts. I can point them out and I think you would be hard pressed to fit them into what you describe above, but I won't. C, I enjoy your posts and while I don't always agree with you - it's clear that your responses come from your heart. This is not what I'm talking about. I would appreciate it however if you wouldn't throw out words like "evict" - that's not what I posted in any way shape or form. Please, can't I JUST say STOP being blatently rude? You all know who you are.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Respectfully I am talking about rude posts. If you read what I said: "not responding to topic, just blatent putdowns." I'm not talking about disagreement or different points of view. I'm talking about RUDE posts. I can point them out and I think you would be hard pressed to fit them into what you describe above, but I won't. C, I enjoy your posts and while I don't always agree with you - it's clear that your responses come from your heart. This is not what I'm talking about. I would appreciate it however if you wouldn't throw out words like "evict" - that's not what I posted in any way shape or form. Please, can't I JUST say STOP being blatently rude? You all know who you are.

Yes you can, but as my post also pointed out it is whose judgement that decides that, and is what you see the whole content of the posting or is it possible there is more to it than you understand? I for one know I have been seen as attacking another for no apparent reason when in reality what was happening on the board was in clear opposition to what that person was subjecting me to in PM's. Their purpose was to make it appear I was the baddy and they the perfect angel which many over time, and some before my time, realise is far from what that person is. What I am saying is not all is always as it seems, and even the seemingly obnoxious postings can often have a positive effect at least to someone even if only to kick start thought and reflection. I tend to try and be a bit lenient on regular posters to the board, and often find posts are the result of stresses elsewhere to which many do admit and apologise for. Is life, we all have our good and bad postings, but the beauty in this is in realising none of us are perfect, not even the seemingly perfect Dominants.

Catalina

 

[Impish]

I still know what rude is and so do most of us. Flame me all you like. I think I'll continue to make my point.

and to C: so when you make comments about people's editing which is off topic and not complimentary, that is what? and when you reply with blah blah blah that is what? and when your only response is to tell someone to correct their title that is what?

Please we could go on and on. I have a right to ask that people be respectful on this board. Doesn't mean I'm going to get it - but I never got anything I didn't ask for. Conversly, while you experience and milage differ - you are missing my point. I'm not talking about misscommunication. I'm talking about rude.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I still know what rude is and so do most of us. Flame me all you like. I think I'll continue to make my point.

and to C: so when you make comments about people's editing which is off topic and not complimentary, that is what? and when you reply with blah blah blah that is what? and when your only response is to tell someone to correct their title that is what?

Please we could go on and on. I have a right to ask that people be respectful on this board. Doesn't mean I'm going to get it - but I never got anything I didn't ask for. Conversly, while you experience and milage differ - you are missing my point. I'm not talking about misscommunication. I'm talking about rude.

I understand perfectly what you are speaking about, I haven't lived this long to not learn something. What I am saying is like an iceberg, most of what you think you understand based on your information and concepts may be only a small percentage of the whole, the remainder hidden from your view. I also started a thread a week or two back (Positive Vibrations) which for some strange reason upset a few people even though I made it clear I did not care if people chose to respond or not, just that living within my concept of reality as I feel comfortable with I was putting it there for people to contribute or not.

Interesting how many who complained of negativity on the board found it offensive it even existed. Even more so was the inability to understand why I would post a thread with no expectation it should be contributed too well, mopst thinking I would be looking for as many postings as possible to it.....that does not concern me, making a space available did. This is just one example where an action of mine which held no animosity, expectation, obligation, or judgement was judged on the values, realities and pesonalities of others in that they perceived it to have motives or dangers I did not.

Catalina

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

BLAH?!?

Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah-blah, blah: 'Blah blah blah blah, blah!'

Blah.

 

[wolf2002]

BLAH?!?

Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah-blah, blah: 'Blah blah blah blah, blah!'

Blah.

Finally you are making sense.

 

[MissTaken]

HI Impish!

Well, while I try to remain well mannered and polite on the forums, there are others who's posts seem very rude. Sometimes, they are, sometimes not. Sometimes it is their brand of sarcasm and humor. It can be difficult to know the difference. For some, their method of posting is direct and can seem to put people off, but is really just how they communicate. "What do you mean you like ....?" Can be read as , "I am wondering about this and don't understand" or "You are foolish for liking....."

Basically, my advice to anyone, is to take from the forum what you like and ignore the rest.

You cannot gather an eclectic group of BDSMers and kinksters without having these problems. By and large, those posting here are strong personalities, Dom, subs or switches and that does translate into some tense interaction from time to time.

Now Johnny?

I have to say, your "Blah Blah" posts make me think of Charlie Brown's teacher, even though she said, "Whah, Whah!"

 

[JupitersGirl]

I agree with you, Impish.

I guess some people just have a problem getting their point across without skipping it across someone else's back.

 

[catalina_francisco]

HI Impish!

Well, while I try to remain well mannered and polite on the forums, there are others who's posts seem very rude. Sometimes, they are, sometimes not. Sometimes it is their brand of sarcasm and humor. It can be difficult to know the difference. For some, their method of posting is direct and can seem to put people off, but is really just how they communicate. "What do you mean you like ....?" Can be read as , "I am wondering about this and don't understand" or "You are foolish for liking....."

Basically, my advice to anyone, is to take from the forum what you like and ignore the rest.

You cannot gather an eclectic group of BDSMers and kinksters without having these problems. By and large, those posting here are strong personalities, Dom, subs or switches and that does translate into some tense interaction from time to time.

Now Johnny?

I have to say, your "Blah Blah" posts make me think of Charlie Brown's teacher, even though she said, "Whah, Whah!"

Very well said Miss T. I never want to see the board become a place where all abide by a set of rules which serve to mold the way they speak and about what. There is enough of that on a global scale which serves to box people and smother individualism and rights, thus we end up with a loss of communication, autonomy, innovation, diverstiy, individualism, and tolerence.

Catalina

 

[Desdemona]

Impish, I see your point and to some extent, I agree with you. But......... I'm gonna take the middle ground here.

In the past, I really hated the rude posts that were made on occasion. I wanted us to all get along and for everything to be nice, friendly and "safe". Since then, I've met a litster or two who dressed up posts with smilies and made everything seem sugar coated. In real life, those people were abrasive, rude and bitchy. I've come to take alot of it with a grain of salt in response to those experiences.

My current position is this: if you're gonna be abrasive, at least do it all the time so I know what I'm dealing with. I prefer honest bitchiness to a dishonest veneer of sweetness.

So, for me, I ignore posts that seem rude and see them for what they are. I agree with Catalina; frequently there are things going on behind the scenes that impact some of these posts. Some of these "rude" posts have been a direct result of exposure to bull shit. So, I live and let live. People post the way they do for very specific reasons and I can respect that.

I honestly get tired of our periodic flame wars but I've come to accept the fact that they occur in cycles. I just roll my eyes, take a deep breath and brace myself. It seems to clear the air and afterwards, people are able to talk on topic again.

 

[James G 5]

BLAH?!?

Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah-blah, blah: 'Blah blah blah blah, blah!'

Blah.

BEER!

Beer beer beer ber, beer berr. Beer beer berr, beer.

 

[catalina_francisco]

BEER!

Beer beer beer ber, beer berr. Beer beer berr, beer.

Man, can you put your trousers back on please?!! With winter coming you might have to soon anyway. LOL.

Catalina

 

[wolf2002]

BEER!

Beer beer beer ber, beer berr. Beer beer berr, beer.

I am glad that for once we can talk about something other than sex on this board...

 

[wolf2002]

BEER!

Beer beer beer ber, beer berr. Beer beer berr, beer.

I am glad that for once we can talk about something other than sex on this board...

 

[JupitersGirl]

I am glad that for once we can talk about something other than sex on this board...

I think we should move that to the beer forum.

 

[fallon2]

Let's agree

Let's agree to disagree over at my place. The beer is free, lots of chips and dips and a big screen television to watch a certain friend's football team win this week. Remember, there'll even be a shuttle bus to take you home in case you drink too much.
Now, how many of the above posters can object??
Get on board . . .

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Let's agree

Let's agree to disagree over at my place. The beer is free, lots of chips and dips and a big screen television to watch a certain friend's football team win this week. Remember, there'll even be a shuttle bus to take you home in case you drink too much.
Now, how many of the above posters can object??
Get on board . . .

Ya but, I like hockey.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Let's agree

Ya but, I like hockey.

And I'm more into motorcycle grand prix racing......


Catalina

 

[JupitersGirl]

Re: Re: Re: Let's agree

And I'm more into motorcycle grand prix racing......


Catalina

Ah.....diversity! Gotta love it!

 

[fallon2]

Have you seen

Have you seen my place???? It is big enought for EVERRYBODY to do ANYTHING they want since I KNOW we can get along! Yes, a racetrack and a hockey rink, and . . . well, you just name it and it is there. Come on lit lovers, start packing.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Impish

While i understand your point on rude, off topic comments and find just as much reason as you do to be offended by them, i choose to ignore those who use words to make others feel badly. This is an adult forum based on the principle that people have a right to say what ever they would like. It makes sense to me (therefore) to respond to those who have something of importance to say and avoid the rest.

Catalina stated it eloquently...we really do not know what goes on behind the scenes with people and their postings. It makes more sense to talk with those not speaking down or rudely and leave those who choose to do so to themselves. Eventually whatever fit, point or attitude they have will go away and they will be back to normal.

And if it is their normal habit to be rude, hateful, hurtful or mean...well that is why we have an ignore feature. Chin up and have a good one

pet

 

[navarre]

Re: Re: Re: Let's agree

And I'm more into motorcycle grand prix racing......


Catalina

What she said!

 

[serijules]

My current position is this: if you're gonna be abrasive, at least do it all the time so I know what I'm dealing with. I prefer honest bitchiness to a dishonest veneer of sweetness.

Ditto that. I would rather be known as a sincere bitch than a two-faced sweetheart any day.