Please tell me this story is true.

[Octavian]

The police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "That was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's... just pumping away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'"

"He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there. Then he looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?'"

Octavian

 

[Guest]

i truly pray that it is real...however, i think it sounds like a lovely tale...possibly something you'd find in The Onion.
*le sigh*

 

[Weird Harold]

The police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

If it's true -- which I really doubt -- it wasn't yesterday, or any fridy in the last five years. This exact same e-mail has surfce every year about this time for at LEAST that many years. (The joke it's based on has been around even longer than that. )

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Patrick, Patrick Pumpkin Pumper
Had a wife, but wouldn't hump her

BBBBaaaaahhhhaaaaaahhhaaaa! to quoteth 'Lou'


god Lime.. im still on my first cupa

 

[impressive]

Re: Re: Please tell me this story is true.

This exact same e-mail has surfce every year about this time for at LEAST that many years. (The joke it's based on has been around even longer than that. )

First time I've heard about it -- and thanks for the laugh!

 

[Boxlicker101]

I hadn't heard or read the story before but I have heard of using a watermelon for that purpose. A melon on the vine in the field is warm and very wet inside and might work for that purpose although I have never tried it.

Sounds like a rural urban legend.

 

[rgraham666]

When asked about the difference between Fact and fiction Tom Clancy replied, "Fiction has to make sense."

I have no idea if the story is true. It's stupid enough to be true though.

 

[matriarch]

Old, old, old joke.

Been around a long time, and now it seems to have completely encircled the globe. I've seen and received it from so many different places.

Still a damn good punch line though.

 

[Guest]

http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/fest/h13.gif

 

[R. Richard]

"He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there. Then he looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?'"

Octavian

The above line explains it all. Per the Cinderella story, he thought he was humping a carriage, not a pumpkin! That explains everything.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

A clear infringement on the rights of vegetables(even though pumpkins are technically berries) once again showing no protection against the blatent sexual abuse of one of the food groups.
I want to vomit.

 

[Boxlicker101]

A clear infringement on the rights of vegetables(even though pumpkins are technically berries) once again showing no protection against the blatent sexual abuse of one of the food groups.
I want to vomit.

Wouldn't vomiting also be an abuse of food?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Wouldn't vomiting also be an abuse of food?

OMG! I'm one of them.
Book me Dano.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

That’s about as believable as the film in the Alger Hiss case Nixon’s people claimed to have found in a pumpkin.


http://www.crimelibrary.com/graphics/photos/terrorists_spies/spies/hiss/7a.jpg http://www.crimelibrary.com/graphics/photos/terrorists_spies/spies/hiss/7b.jpg

 

[sincerely_helene]

A clear infringement on the rights of vegetables(even though pumpkins are technically berries) once again showing no protection against the blatent sexual abuse of one of the food groups.
I want to vomit.

Just relax and join me for some nice, homeade Americ... err, I mean apple pie.

 

[Belegon]

Just relax and join me for some nice, homeade Americ... err, I mean apple pie.

"we'll just tell your mom we ate it all..."

 

[sincerely_helene]

"we'll just tell your mom we ate it all..."

Now you're talkin! That's how I explained the hallowed out twinkie.