Please do not FUCKING preach to me about writing: a rant

[3113]

[rant]
So I'm on this other forum, where I'd started a thread about writing tools; the forum is dedicated to a certain writing program, and the creators want to know what tools users would like. So I was expressing my personal desires in this thread.

Anyway, some self-righteous asshole who'd just read this book on writing by some well-known writer who wants to make even more money by revealing all his short-cut writing secrets (so every new writer can learn to write just like him and have his wealth and fame...yeah, sure!), decides to quote from this how-to book. And the well meaning author, who undoubtedly was writing the book for beginners (experts don't often need such books), has this and that arrogant advice to give: "Never do this..." and "Don't ever do that..." and "Writers who use this or that tool are pathetic fucks...." (Well, okay, I'm paraphrasing and projecting, there, but that's how I felt when I read the quoted rule. I took it kinda personally).

Don't get me wrong here. I don't mind if someone wants to start a thread of wise, writerly advice and quotes this shit. And I can't complain if I say, "Give me some advice, I'm stuck!" But I didn't ask for any advice, I just said what I, personally, wanted and needed as a writer. Yet this jackass treated me as if I was some raw newbie. I'm wanting to do what this famous writer's book says I shouldn't do, I must be lost and stupid, in desperate need of writerly enlightenment from the master!

The rules of that forum, alas, do not allow me to go ballistic on this "quoters" ass. So, with your kind indulgence, I'm doing it here...because quoted rules on writing, being preached to me as if I'm in need of such advice, really, really, really piss me off. And so, to the quoting-preaching-person on that other forum, I say...FUCK YOU! You may be new at this shit and in need of such rules, but I'm not. THIS is my profession. I know what the fuck I'm doing. And I know what MY writing needs. The writer you're quoting isn't writing MY story. They don't know what it needs, and neither do you! If I take your advice and the story turns out like shit, are YOU going to take the blame? Is the writer you quoted? I don't think so. So don't you dare preach rules to me on writing! I know exactly what I'm doing![/rant]

{Breath} Okay. Done. Thank you. I feel a little better now.

 

[rgraham666]

*HUGS* 3. Don't let the weasels get to you.

 

[sr71plt]

So, would that be Stephen King's book? (I must read that book--it's been sitting on my nightstand for ages. But my publisher is always bugging me to turn in more manuscripts.)

The simplist retort: "No one won a Pulitzer for last year's formula story."

 

[3113]

*HUGS* 3. Don't let the weasels get to you.

Thank you. Keep hugging please. I'm going through the moping stage

 

[rgraham666]

Thank you. Keep hugging please. I'm going through the moping stage

OK. *HUGS*

 

[StolenTurtle]

Stephen King's "On Writing"

So, would that be Stephen King's book? (I must read that book--it's been sitting on my nightstand for ages. But my publisher is always bugging me to turn in more manuscripts.)

The simplist retort: "No one won a Pulitzer for last year's formula story."

Read it. It will have you in hysterics.

POW!

 

[Liar]

Well one thing is sure. I would never preach to you about writing a rant. That was top of the line.

 

[3113]

Well one thing is sure. I would never preach to you about writing a rant. That was top of the line.

Thank you. It's your turn to hung me now

 

[3113]

So, would that be Stephen King's book?

Guess I wasn't able to mask the "Master's" identity so well, huh? Darn rants are pretty transparent.

Terrific retort.

 

[TE999]

[rant]
So I'm on this other forum, where I'd started a thread about writing tools; the forum is dedicated to a certain writing program, and the creators want to know what tools users would like. So I was expressing my personal desires in this thread.

Anyway, some self-righteous asshole who'd just read this book on writing by some well-known writer who wants to make even more money by revealing all his short-cut writing secrets (so every new writer can learn to write just like him and have his wealth and fame...yeah, sure!), decides to quote from this how-to book. And the well meaning author, who undoubtedly was writing the book for beginners (experts don't often need such books), has this and that arrogant advice to give: "Never do this..." and "Don't ever do that..." and "Writers who use this or that tool are pathetic fucks...." (Well, okay, I'm paraphrasing and projecting, there, but that's how I felt when I read the quoted rule. I took it kinda personally).

Don't get me wrong here. I don't mind if someone wants to start a thread of wise, writerly advice and quotes this shit. And I can't complain if I say, "Give me some advice, I'm stuck!" But I didn't ask for any advice, I just said what I, personally, wanted and needed as a writer. Yet this jackass treated me as if I was some raw newbie. I'm wanting to do what this famous writer's book says I shouldn't do, I must be lost and stupid, in desperate need of writerly enlightenment from the master!

The rules of that forum, alas, do not allow me to go ballistic on this "quoters" ass. So, with your kind indulgence, I'm doing it here...because quoted rules on writing, being preached to me as if I'm in need of such advice, really, really, really piss me off. And so, to the quoting-preaching-person on that other forum, I say...FUCK YOU! You may be new at this shit and in need of such rules, but I'm not. THIS is my profession. I know what the fuck I'm doing. And I know what MY writing needs. The writer you're quoting isn't writing MY story. They don't know what it needs, and neither do you! If I take your advice and the story turns out like shit, are YOU going to take the blame? Is the writer you quoted? I don't think so. So don't you dare preach rules to me on writing! I know exactly what I'm doing![/rant]

{Breath} Okay. Done. Thank you. I feel a little better now.

Don't hold back 3--tell us how you really feel.

Seriously, the book is deadly dull and boring. A sure cure for insomnia.

The audio version (with 'The Master's' voice) ain't half bad.

And he does have some sensible suggestions.

But it's not the writers bible by any means.

 

[3113]

Don't hold back 3--tell us how you really feel.

I know. I'm too subtle and reserved. I gotta learn to express myself

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Hey, I loved On Writing! But I'm biased... somehow I just knew that's the one you were talking 'bout three... dunno how, but I knew...

That said, I still don't pay a lot of attention to writing rules, SK's or otherwise... stories come. That's what they do. I write them down. The end.

 

[rengadeirishman]

:hugs: i know how you feel. I also hate people who drudge up personal nonsense with you then flame your work out of spite. Its just annoying and childish.

 

[sr71plt]

Hey, I loved On Writing! But I'm biased... somehow I just knew that's the one you were talking 'bout three... dunno how, but I knew...

That said, I still don't pay a lot of attention to writing rules, SK's or otherwise... stories come. That's what they do. I write them down. The end.

Most any of the books on writing are helpful as long as you don't take them as scripture or formula. (Now some of those who write the books are writing to a formula--and one that works for them after they've initially gathered a reader base--but it's the rare author who will rise about the crowd with his/her work by trying to live off their now-used formula.)

 

[Pure]

there are a lot of stupid people in the world, 3113. don't let them get to you!

one thing about the net is that 'authorities' don't always count for much.

you're free write a caustic line or two about the horseshit shoveled your way (20 words or less.)

 

[slyc_willie]

Most any of the books on writing are helpful as long as you don't take them as scripture or formula.

Indeed.

I've never read a book on writing. I learned the old-fashioned way. I wrote badly, got rejected, got laughed at, then improved.

The way I write is not for everyone. But the way sr71, or Selena, or 3 writes, isn't for everyone either.

The only important thing is that someone out there likes what you wrote, and wants to see more.

Fuck formulae.

 

[3113]

you're free write a caustic line or two about the horseshit shoveled your way (20 words or less.)

I think I went over the limit. Maybe we should create the "rules" for rants? And then we can rant about those

 

[slyc_willie]

I think I went over the limit. Maybe we should create the "rules" for rants? And then we can rant about those

And then we'll be ranting about people who rant about rants . . . .

*ugh*

I need a drink . . . .

 

[BlackShanglan]

Most any of the books on writing are helpful as long as you don't take them as scripture or formula. (Now some of those who write the books are writing to a formula--and one that works for them after they've initially gathered a reader base--but it's the rare author who will rise about the crowd with his/her work by trying to live off their now-used formula.)

Amen. I like Adam Sexton very much for that reason, amongst many others. He doesn't tell you flatly "do this" or "never do this." Rather, he tells you, "Readers typically expect X. Here are some strategies for making that work for you. You don't have to use the strategies, and you don't even have to supply X. However, you should know what you're sacrificing if you don't supply it, and you should know how to get to it if you want it. If you're not going to supply X, have a very good reason, and make sure that you're doing other things so extremely well that you can counteract the disappointment readers are likely to feel from the lack of X." He gives good examples from good authors to demonstrate, as well.

I trust very few "never" rules for writing. "Never submit a piece into which you have not put careful thought and attention" is the only one that springs readily to mind. "Never use adverbs," "never use passive voice," "never start with backstory" - to me, these are all bad rules that oversimplify and stifle writing. They ought, to my thinking, to read, "Consider carefully the ramifications of using ..." After all, if there was no place in the English language for passive voice, where the devil did the construction come from? Know your tools, and know their effects.

 

[WRJames]

One of the funniest things I have ever seen was the "blue penciled" Gettysburg Address. That was forty years ago -- but here is a related article about how writing "properly" can destroy genius

Would Shakespeare Get Into Swarthmore?

I know personally I run Word with the grammar suggestions on, and I have plenty of little blue squiggles trying nagging at me.

 

[ms.read]

ON WRITING@everyone here.

This is not to preach. I don't care if you have improper sentances (fragments) or sentences that are way too long. <Like that one. Just make sure you have proper punctuation so its readable. a few spelling errors are okay too.

ms.read

I am a bibliophile. I love to read. I'll read anything. Even the directions and ingredients on the back of the medicine bottle (and yes I Can pronounce the polysyllable names)

The reason we have a few rules that everyone should adhere to are so that we have a common understandable language, so we can communicate. Until everything goes into audio recording for everything, people will just have to deal with impertinent asshole english ( or foreign ) language teacher.

Don't even get me started on past participles .... we should throw those right out the window.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Amen. I like Adam Sexton very much for that reason, amongst many others. He doesn't tell you flatly "do this" or "never do this." Rather, he tells you, "Readers typically expect X. Here are some strategies for making that work for you. You don't have to use the strategies, and you don't even have to supply X. However, you should know what you're sacrificing if you don't supply it, and you should know how to get to it if you want it. If you're not going to supply X, have a very good reason, and make sure that you're doing other things so extremely well that you can counteract the disappointment readers are likely to feel from

What book is that?

I googled Adam Sexton, and ended up on this site;
http://www.writersstore.com/articles.php?type=Expert+Series

There are about 300 articles on various aspects of writing. I've already found a couple of things that seemed useful-- maybe helpful for other people, as well.

 

[sr71plt]

Amen. I like Adam Sexton very much for that reason, amongst many others. He doesn't tell you flatly "do this" or "never do this." Rather, he tells you, "Readers typically expect X. Here are some strategies for making that work for you. You don't have to use the strategies, and you don't even have to supply X. However, you should know what you're sacrificing if you don't supply it, and you should know how to get to it if you want it. If you're not going to supply X, have a very good reason, and make sure that you're doing other things so extremely well that you can counteract the disappointment readers are likely to feel from the lack of X." He gives good examples from good authors to demonstrate, as well.

I trust very few "never" rules for writing. "Never submit a piece into which you have not put careful thought and attention" is the only one that springs readily to mind. "Never use adverbs," "never use passive voice," "never start with backstory" - to me, these are all bad rules that oversimplify and stifle writing. They ought, to my thinking, to read, "Consider carefully the ramifications of using ..." After all, if there was no place in the English language for passive voice, where the devil did the construction come from? Know your tools, and know their effects.

"Don't print your publishing house submissions letter to Random House on the reverse side of a rejection notice from iUniverse for the same book."

 

[3113]

:hugs: i know how you feel. I also hate people who drudge up personal nonsense with you then flame your work out of spite. Its just annoying and childish.

Oh, hug-fest! Yes!

Actually, if this person had read something of mine, then said: "Writer X says 'Never do Y....'" well, I'd still be annoyed, but at least I'd know that the quoter had a valid reason for quoting the rule, presumably because some part of a story I had writen wasn't working and they thought it would if I used this rule. But this rule wasn't quoted to improve my work, it was given as a fiat. Like 'Good writers do Y. If you're not doing Y, you're not a good writer" without the quoter having ever read a thing of mine.

Hence, my little rampage.

 

[BlackShanglan]

What book is that?

I googled Adam Sexton, and ended up on this site;
http://www.writersstore.com/articles.php?type=Expert+Series

There are about 300 articles on various aspects of writing. I've already found a couple of things that seemed useful-- maybe helpful for other people, as well.

Ooh, cheers for the link! Good stuff.

The book is his Master Class in Fiction Writing. Wonderful stuff - can hardly read my copy any more for all of the annotating and highlighting and notes about how to use various parts to solve stuck stories.