Playing hard to get?

[LadyJeanne]

Playing hard to get.. all men are different, but I'd suggest a middle way.

And maybe it's just a personal bias, but by middle, I mean just a little bit of playing hard to get.


However, there's a very important difference between 'not playing hard to get' and 'expressly telling him that you want him'.

If you actually sit him down and talk to him, explaining how attractive you find him, it kills all the mystery, anticipation and romance.
But if you don't openly discuss those feelings (at least not before you're a comfortable couple), but instead act on those feelings, let things progress between you, then you keep the anticipation and romance going.
Which is good.

This is helpful, as have been all of the posts here. Thanks to everyone who has replied.

So, as an example, if he tells me that his army buddy recently got married and they all wore their dress uniforms at the wedding, I can purr into the phone, "Mmm, I'll bet you looked so handsome..." and this will not kill the mystery for him? But saying something like, "I have the biggest crush on you!" would be a turn off.

 

[Xt4cY]

sounds about right

 

[Jezebelle1458]

you said that you had a specific person in mind.well,i cant help you there cause it's been too long since i went chasing. i've gotten older and found that since i can make it in this world without a SO ,that i have given myself the freedom to just go up to someone and state what i want.dont get me wrong,sometimes having someone to share lifes ups and downs with would be nice,but i think that where i'm at now is better-i dont have to play around with that crap anymore....and it works for me.

 

[sheath]

This is helpful, as have been all of the posts here. Thanks to everyone who has replied.

So, as an example, if he tells me that his army buddy recently got married and they all wore their dress uniforms at the wedding, I can purr into the phone, "Mmm, I'll bet you looked so handsome..." and this will not kill the mystery for him? But saying something like, "I have the biggest crush on you!" would be a turn off.

I think you have it right. It is the difference between a tease and being overtly obvious. I have tried both in the past, the being an open book makes a man take you for granted, at least at first...and of course, by the time he realizes the gem he has found, he has taken you for granted for far too long, and you have moved on to another guy who knows better. But I digress...

A tease, a little mystery, and he's damn near beating down the door...then HE becomes an open book. Funny how it works that way.

S.

 

[midwestyankee]

I think you have it right. It is the difference between a tease and being overtly obvious. I have tried both in the past, the being an open book makes a man take you for granted, at least at first...and of course, by the time he realizes the gem he has found, he has taken you for granted for far too long, and you have moved on to another guy who knows better. But I digress...

A tease, a little mystery, and he's damn near beating down the door...then HE becomes an open book. Funny how it works that way.

S.

Mystery helps but if you need Hercule Poirot to figure her out, she's trying too hard.

 

[Felt Tip]

So, as an example, if he tells me that his army buddy recently got married and they all wore their dress uniforms at the wedding, I can purr into the phone, "Mmm, I'll bet you looked so handsome..." and this will not kill the mystery for him? But saying something like, "I have the biggest crush on you!" would be a turn off.

Yes, that's a good example.
The first one plants a suggestion (albeit a strong one) of your intentions, but leaves enough to his imagination, anticipation.

The second spells it out beyond any doubt. Instead of thinking perhaps he can have you, he's deciding if he's going to.


People tend to want what they can't have. I think you can also extend the principle to people wanting things they don't know whether they can have.
And the uncertainty probably sets their imagination off and makes them want it more.

In fact, from now on I think I'm going to replace 'people want what they can't have' with people want what they don't know if they can have'.
I like that

 

[phoenix1224]

With us guys, it's a bit of a juggling act...

You don't want to play TOO hard to get, or we'll feel that you're really not interested... So, we'll give up and move on... (Why should we waste our time on a lost cause?)

But, if you seem too EASY to get... We'll just see you as someone to have a good time with and in two weeks or so... We'll be gone... (You can't turn a 'ho' into a housewife.)

I suggest that you just be yourself... And you'll find the man that's right for you... (I, personally, hate it when I'm with a woman and I think she's one type of person... And, after two months, find out who she REALLY is.)