Pinch me. May - December Affair offer

Silverhairdude

Experienced
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Sep 25, 2015
Posts
36
Long time reader, lurker here. Finally with something interesting to share. I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice, giving a potential erotic storyline or just bragging!
Here's my situation:

I've been married for 22 years, the passion and intimacy died a long time ago when the kids came along. With our youngest off to school next year, a few months ago I came to the realization that there would be no reason to stay together at that point. Classic empty nest syndrome on the horizon. We had that discussion a few months back, and kind of half heartedly committed to try to recover our relationship. Since then, little to no effort on either part to change.

I do some freelance work at a agency where this very cute, very friendly young lady and I have hit it off over the last several months. To me, it was strictly as friend/coworker/similar interests kind of thing. Sure, it crossed my mind that there may be something more there, but with the age difference and me being married and not "out there" for decades, I figured it was just fantasy material and I was just being ridiculous, and she was just being friendly.

I ran into her the other day at the end of the work day, she was visibly upset about a work issue just happened earlier. After talking a bit and saying goodbye, I literally doubled back and asked her if she wanted to grab a drink at the pub next door before heading home. She said yeah! This girl is very cute, nice girl, great smile, mixed ethnicity, real nice smoking figure. Besides work, we share some common outside interests. I also recently announced I would not be working with this company much longer.

Two sips into her beer, she asks me if my wife will be waiting up for me. She knows I'm married, wearing a ring. I told her about our current status, how I don't see it lasting forever, but for now it's on the rocks.

She tells me the all the guys her age are immature, no accomplishments, goals etc.
She then tells me that she REALLY likes me, has for a long time, and she really wants to spend time with me if I would be interested. I tell her I'm very flattered, and think she is great also, but isn't the age difference an issue for her? She guessed my age as "late 40's".

When I told her that I am 57, it didn't phase her at all. Half jokingly she said I'd be too old to have kids with her, but everything else is still on the table. The night ended with an extended parking lot make out session and mutual agreement to see where this might go. Nothing serious, nothing formal just spend time together and see what happens.

Am I crazy to do this? Am I crazy NOT to go for this? I'm leaning towards the latter. How can I pass up on an affair with this girl?
 
Yes, you are crazy. How much will divorce cost you?
How much will losing that client cost you?
I have a post on this somewhere.
 
Oh for fucks sake. When this makes the newspapers, you will be listed as the victim.
 
Long time reader, lurker here. Finally with something interesting to share. I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice, giving a potential erotic storyline or just bragging!
Here's my situation:

I've been married for 22 years, the passion and intimacy died a long time ago when the kids came along. With our youngest off to school next year, a few months ago I came to the realization that there would be no reason to stay together at that point. Classic empty nest syndrome on the horizon. We had that discussion a few months back, and kind of half heartedly committed to try to recover our relationship. Since then, little to no effort on either part to change.

I do some freelance work at a agency where this very cute, very friendly young lady and I have hit it off over the last several months. To me, it was strictly as friend/coworker/similar interests kind of thing. Sure, it crossed my mind that there may be something more there, but with the age difference and me being married and not "out there" for decades, I figured it was just fantasy material and I was just being ridiculous, and she was just being friendly.

I ran into her the other day at the end of the work day, she was visibly upset about a work issue just happened earlier. After talking a bit and saying goodbye, I literally doubled back and asked her if she wanted to grab a drink at the pub next door before heading home. She said yeah! This girl is very cute, nice girl, great smile, mixed ethnicity, real nice smoking figure. Besides work, we share some common outside interests. I also recently announced I would not be working with this company much longer.

Two sips into her beer, she asks me if my wife will be waiting up for me. She knows I'm married, wearing a ring. I told her about our current status, how I don't see it lasting forever, but for now it's on the rocks.

She tells me the all the guys her age are immature, no accomplishments, goals etc.
She then tells me that she REALLY likes me, has for a long time, and she really wants to spend time with me if I would be interested. I tell her I'm very flattered, and think she is great also, but isn't the age difference an issue for her? She guessed my age as "late 40's".

When I told her that I am 57, it didn't phase her at all. Half jokingly she said I'd be too old to have kids with her, but everything else is still on the table. The night ended with an extended parking lot make out session and mutual agreement to see where this might go. Nothing serious, nothing formal just spend time together and see what happens.

Am I crazy to do this? Am I crazy NOT to go for this? I'm leaning towards the latter. How can I pass up on an affair with this girl?

You're never to old to contract a sexually transmitted disease. Go for it.
 
Yes, you are crazy. How much will divorce cost you?
How much will losing that client cost you?
I have a post on this somewhere.

The client is a non issue, I'm ending my work with them soon. The separation/divorce is likely anyway as soon as the youngest leaves for school next year.
 

When a 57 year old man is offered a sexual relationship by a woman who is 35 years younger than he is, and he has nothing more to offer than sex, he should assume he is about to be robbed.
 
And then insanity set in your Honor! Up to that point My client had been an almost, except where his wife was concerned, model husband.

Yes!....He's crazy about that stuff! and is not responsible for his stupid behavior!


Yeah, it's going to cost you big time!
 
The client is a non issue, I'm ending my work with them soon. The separation/divorce is likely anyway as soon as the youngest leaves for school next year.

Why would you wait til your child leaves. They are old enough to handle it, if you are so miserable you want out just do it before you cheat.
 
When a 57 year old man is offered a sexual relationship by a woman who is 35 years younger than he is, and he has nothing more to offer than sex, he should assume he is about to be robbed.

I would have agreed with this statement until the other day. This is not a golddigger situation. I do OK, but clearly not wealthy. I am accomplished and active in an artistic area that this girl is also interested in. Plus, she's not 35 years younger, just 29. Let's not exaggerate! :D
 
Affaris are never cool. No matter if she finds out or not. I'll leave my wife before I cheat on her. Because I wouldn't want her to cheat on me.

My guess is she already is cheating on him. She's so too fucked out by some other guy to fuck him
 
I would have agreed with this statement until the other day. This is not a golddigger situation. I do OK, but clearly not wealthy. I am accomplished and active in an artistic area that this girl is also interested in. Plus, she's not 35 years younger, just 29. Let's not exaggerate! :D

You have no idea what she is after. I would say she wants something from you besides sex.
 
Do you have any children her age? What would you say to them if they found themselves in this situation?
 
Affaris are never cool. No matter if she finds out or not. I'll leave my wife before I cheat on her. Because I wouldn't want her to cheat on me.

There was no urgency to have an affair or to separate/divorce, next year's looming empty nest presented itself as an appropriate time to take that step. This affair offer came to me unexpectedly. Will that girl half my age be waiting for me a year from now? Maybe, maybe not. Will I have regrets either way? Probably.

Hey, neither of us expressed any interest in anything beyond mutual friendship and sexual attraction, and "see where it goes if anywhere".
 
Do you have any children her age? What would you say to them if they found themselves in this situation?

My oldest is 23, I'd tell her just what I told my friend:

I told this girl on one hand, she should find someone age appropriate to settle down with if she wants to raise a family someday. On the other, I do find you very attractive, we get along great and it would be hard to pass up being with you.
 
I gave some seriously good advice, I wonder whether the OP read it.:rolleyes:
 
My oldest is 23, I'd tell her just what I told my friend:

I told this girl on one hand, she should find someone age appropriate to settle down with if she wants to raise a family someday. On the other, I do find you very attractive, we get along great and it would be hard to pass up being with you.

Really, you would encourage your daughter to have an affair with an older married man?
 
Really, you would encourage your daughter to have an affair with an older married man?

No the first part. Find someone your own age The second part was the rest of what I told my friend. I did read your advice. Thanks!

I am a little surprised at some of the hostility from what I would assume be a relatively open minded forum to discuss this. What do I know?
 
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