Pickup lines

[pplwatching]

Lets build a collection of pickup lines! Do tell if you have used it, had it used on you, if it would work on you, or if you just heard it somewhere. I've seen a few ladies complaining of lame PM pickup lines, so collect them here.

Being married I don't use pickup lines, not that I ever did really, so most of mine are humorous ones that I've found around the web.

"Hey babe, wanna come play a game with my joystick?"*

Wouldn't work on me but I will try it out on my wife and see how far it gets me.

Stolen as payback for pressuring me to start this thread. Make up another one

 

[onceavirgin]

if u were a booger, i pick u first!

 

[onceavirgin]

your body is a wonderland and im alice..

 

[pplwatching]

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

 

[mulehead61]

A guy I knew told a woman he wanted to "stick my pole in your pond"

It worked...he got laid that night......

 

[jaga7337]

the worst one i ever heard was the guy who told me "you look finer than a new set of snow tires".

 

[pplwatching]

the worst one i ever heard was the guy who told me "you look finer than a new set of snow tires".

You should have deadpanned "it's illegal for snow tires to come with studs in this state."

 

[littlebabyclit]

Cool thread. Keep them coming !!!

 

[EmilyJane]

the worst one i ever heard was the guy who told me "you look finer than a new set of snow tires".

Such finesse. How could you resist?

 

[pplwatching]

Is your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes!

 

[Wave_Rider]

Walk up to a woman and tell her "I want to tell you your fortune." Take her hand and write your phone number on it. "That's your future."

 

[Wave_Rider]

"I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?"

 

[Wave_Rider]

"My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!"

 

[Corbal]

Fuck, I've heard some bad ones!

"Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I could sure see myself in them."

"Want to go get a pizza and fuck? What? You don't like pizza?"

"God took the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes."

 

[Kat73]

Wanna play circus? You sit on my face and I'll guess your weight.

My husband has a shirt that in 4 inch bright pink letters says BLOW ME on the front and THEN LEAVE on the back.

 

[pplwatching]

You know, I never was to good at math…like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.

 

[SJZ76]

Let's play army.... I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?

Do you have a map, cuz I keep getting lost in your eyes....

 

[SJZ76]

Wait! I remembered some more!

Are you free tonight or what will it cost me?

Wanna play carpenter? First we get hammered and then I'll nail you.

Wanna make babies? (No) Wanna practice?

 

[de-valmont]

Funniest I've heard was "Nice shoes.... wanna fuck?"

 

[pplwatching]

Funniest I've heard was "Nice shoes.... wanna fuck?"

Right to the point! That's the ticket.

 

[justaguymass]

a friend of mine once told a lady, "I may not hit the bottom, but I can certainly slam the shit out of the sides."

 

[DaemonOfSin]

I only have 3 months to live will you sleep with me?

I'm an excellent cook. My specality Breakfast in bed.

 

[DaemonOfSin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2wW5ih1r80&translated=1

Do you believe in love at first sight? (no) Then let me leave and walk by again.

I can read your thoughts - to degree and you are right: I am very nice.

I forgot my number. Can I have yours?

Can I borrow your cellphone? (Why?) So I call your mum and thank her.

You are definitely a secret agent, since you pursue me every night in my dreams.
Or a thief who looks out innocently: You have stolen my heart!

Do you have magnets in your pocket(bag)? You draw me so irresistibly.

My name is _____. You may not have known this, but now you know what you must shout afterwards!

 

[pplwatching]

My dad used to tell us that his best friend back in the day used to go up to women and say something along the lines of :

"Oh no, it looks like you've lost your wedding ring! I'll help you look for it!" When they'd reply "I'm not married", he'd wink and say "Then I have a chance!"

I'm told it worked, but with my dad you never know

 

[pplwatching]

Miracle man

Back in high school my friends and I used to joke "I have a seven inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears." I don't know where it came from.

We were hanging out at the local cruise spot one night. A couple of really cute girls were pretty much blowing us off when my friend said to them, "I have a seven inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears." The girls started laughing and giggling, and a couple of them came over to talk to us.