Picking up people online/kinky people

[GingerFireFly]

I really really enjoy new partners, at times the thrill is more intense if they are people I barely know. Thus I have at times picked up people online. Everyone expresses concerns for my safety when I do it but there are multiple reasons I think it is so much safer than a singles bar pick up.

People here are in touch with their sexuality, minimal repression that is likely to come out as anger. We're comfortable talking about likes/dislikes/boundaries and do it early, clearly, and when sober. I have some sort of paper trail of the conversation that a trusted friend has if anything were to happen (and if I have any nerves at all I tell them I want to take a picture of their license plate and mail it to a friend before I'll go anywhere alone with them)

I've done this a half dozen times or so and never had anyone try to take more than I've offered. In fact sometimes I see them going over board to make sure they are being respectful.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

I think you're right although the proviso I would add is that some people's judgement appears to be not that good - if you go by some of the negative media stories related to things that have happened from on-line interactions.

But then, why would it be any different in RL if the person's judgement was not so good to begin with? And I'd have to add of course that stuff that is underage is clearly stepping into a dangerous and illegal zone.

As far as the kinky side goes, to me using the internet as the first approach is far and away the best way to go about things because you've automatically moved past the 'usual' social barriers easily. And secondly, to someone with even just an adequate knowledge of other human beings, after a few on-line discussions - and preferably these are written ones - it is very easy to 'see' what the other person is like.

I have never personally encountered a 'problematic' individual via any of the means that I have ever used in the past, but when it comes to more 'normal' let's say, social interactions - meeting people through the ordinary course of events of 'ordinary' or open life, WHERE THE ENVIRONMENT WAS PURELY SOCIAL and not work-related, all I can say is that I have almost NEVER met a person that appeared to be a possible or potential sexual partner, who WASN'T a walking pathological case study!!

If anything, I find that on-line people are far better-adjusted and far less likely to go weird on you. But that's just my own experience.

And none of this does away with fundamental social skills for an RL setting. And none of it does away with - especially for men - the RL socio-sexual interaction skills that don't immediately mean or imply sex as such, but that are still highly SEXUAL, in intent, really.

And I have to add, that I have had, I learn, MUCH better relationships than apparently a lot of other people who seem to do nothing but whine and complain about their partner or partners! There is not a single person that I have had a sexual relationship with that I could complain about at all; not one.

 

[ChattyAnnie]

My very limited experience with this was not so positive. People can project a very different persona online than in real life, particularly on sites where sex/porn is the focus. It can even be a little creepy and scary. I would much rather find someone for sex that I choose after careful screening through personal interaction. But that is my experience. If it works for you then go for it!

 

[live4thebj]

I really really enjoy new partners, at times the thrill is more intense if they are people I barely know. Thus I have at times picked up people online. Everyone expresses concerns for my safety when I do it but there are multiple reasons I think it is so much safer than a singles bar pick up.

People here are in touch with their sexuality, minimal repression that is likely to come out as anger. We're comfortable talking about likes/dislikes/boundaries and do it early, clearly, and when sober. I have some sort of paper trail of the conversation that a trusted friend has if anything were to happen (and if I have any nerves at all I tell them I want to take a picture of their license plate and mail it to a friend before I'll go anywhere alone with them)

I've done this a half dozen times or so and never had anyone try to take more than I've offered. In fact sometimes I see them going over board to make sure they are being respectful.

I have done it many times but it was through dating websites specifically for people looking to hook-up: adult friend finder. Since those days I know such sites have evolved. I also found A LOT of hook-ups on plentyoffish.com and that is 100% free; the dates weren't free but hey if I had to pay dinner to get sucked and fucked it's all good.