Phone/Internet Relationship.

[NaughtySlave]

Are there people out there who have not met their Master,and the only way they can communicate with each other is through the phone and internet?
I'm one of them,and I was just wondering if there was any more.
How does your Master punish you?

My Master used to make me spank myself with my hand and He would tell me how many times to do it.Then we went up a notch and I now either use a coathanger or a leather belt.He also stopped telling me how many times to spank myself,now I just start and go until He says stop.It's much better that way,it's a real turn on for me.Sometimes I have to beg Him to stop cause it hurts so bad.He also has be spank my pussy with either my hand or the belt.And lately He's had me whip my inner thighs.That hurts like a bitch,but is such a turn on.He also makes me pull my toy out of my pussy and lick it off,just to tease me.Two days ago,I got some nipple/clit clamps and anal beads,so we're now using those as well.He makes me wear them to work,and I have to go into the washroom several times a day to play with myself to the point where I'm just about to cum,and then I have to stop.Needless to say,I am extremely horny when I get home and talk to Him.

So does anyone have any ideas on how He can punish me(through the phone)in other ways?I'd like input from people who don't have a phone relationship as well.I'm not bored with my Master,that's not what I'm getting at.I was just wondering if there were other things He could do.

It will be so much better when we will meet in person and He can do all these things to me Himself,but for now we have to work with what we've got.

Thanks ~NaughtySlave~

 

[His_pita]

Are there people out there who have not met their Master,and the only way they can communicate with each other is through the phone and internet?
I'm one of them,and I was just wondering if there was any more.
How does your Master punish you?

We’re long distance for another 149 days. We use the internet and phone to talk and play. We don't do much D/s and I don't get punished. But, I’m a good girl you know? We have had a couple of nice discipline sessions. The last one was yesterday where he had me put ice in my bra and panties to teach me that underwear is not acceptable for his submissive. I was on cam, but he wouldn't turn his on to simulate me being blindfold and then he called me and weaved a great fantasy for me on how he would cut my clothes off my body. Lots of fun!

We don't play much because we are too busy getting us to real life and truthfully we would rather wait till we’re in person to do much D/s stuff. I really don’t get what you and others mean by punishment. I thought that was for when I did something bad and I certainly wouldn’t feel aroused if I angered my Sir.

So is there a difference in discipline and punishment? Or is that up to everyone and their own interpretations of what the words mean?

 

[NaughtySlave]

Thanks for your reply I for some reason enjoy "pissing off" my Master,but only because I know I will get spanked much harder and more if I do.Is that weird?I guess it is.I know you're not supposed to piss off your Master,but He knows I only do it to get whipped more.He knows I'm not trying to disrespect Him.I don't think I can not do anything with Him on the phone cause it will be that much better when we see each other,cause I honestly don't know when we will see each other.I guess it's when I make enough money to get a plane ticket to where He lives.Or vise versa.

I really enjoy getting spanked,and He normally won't don't do it unless I've been bad,so therefor I have to be bad

 

[Master Sensei]

To be honest, I am not a fan of online only relationships and don't have high regard for them.

However, when I intend to meet a girl and I'm forced to temporarily "play" over the phone and internet there are a couple of things I do.

1. I will "force" her to eat foods she intensely dislikes or those which will make her stomach highly upset. This I will only do rarely.

2. If I have a proper level of connection with the girl, which is to say that it has a very high intensity, she is already relying on me for her happiness in life. Therefore, if I have to deal with a moderate or serious issue, I will punish her by withholding contact with her for a time period set by me.

It's hard to explain, or get others to understand and appreciate how powerful that bond is when done properly. To temporarily sever that bond brings great pain and is the most powerful motivating factor when we cannot be together for more tangible corrective measures.

 

[NaughtySlave]

Thank you too for your input.If my Master ever told me that He won't talk to me for lets say,3 days,I would be heartbroken,but that's just because I Love Him so much and need Him.I would miss Him terribly.As for the food thing,my stomach got upset just thinking about it,LOL.Thanks,I really appreciate the input

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thanks for your reply I for some reason enjoy "pissing off" my Master,but only because I know I will get spanked much harder and more if I do.Is that weird?

Hmmmm yes, considering you do it to yourself. Sorry, but having been in a long distance (16,000 km) D/s relationship that lead to much more, I am not able to get into the DIY physical punishment thing or ever have been. I don't care how determined you are to carry out physical punishments, unless you have a spanking machine, no amount of effort is going to get much sting behind spanking or whipping your own butt with a belt.....you just can't get the force behind it. But if it works for you, good luck. As to giving him ideas for punishment, maybe he isn't keen on being told what he could/should be doing, or is this something he requested? I know in our relationship if I began to tell him, 'you know you could do this, and that', he would make sure I learned my place and didn't try it again.

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

So is there a difference in discipline and punishment? Or is that up to everyone and their own interpretations of what the words mean?

I thinks its up to the individuals involved.

I have strong views that there is a difference between the two.

I appreciate there are difficulties if its online or phone only due to distance etc and people use differing words to mean different things. Therefore my view is not intended to upset or offend, its simply a personal stance on the issue.

If a PYL owns you, you are their property. That means you can be loaned out, disiplined, punished, used as they wish and all within the bounds of any agreements you have made with each other.

If he wants to hurt me, he does not need a reason; he owns me.
Therefore if its not a 'hard' limit, he does as he chooses.
All of it with my consent. I can't 'opt out.'
I can tell him if I have an emotional or physical problem that may have a bearing on what he chooses to do, but he can still continue to do as he planned.

Punishment is a means of teaching or learning a lesson.
The reason for punishment is disobedience.
He is clear as to why the punishment is deserved and what he plans me to learn from it.

It is different from his wish to inflict pain on me. He may want to because he wants to increase my pain threshold or because he wants to take me further in terms of 'sub-space' or because he likes it.
He may tell me why he plans to hurt me, but equally he may not.

Punishment does interfere with what he may have previously planned.
He may have planned a pain session, he may not. However, punishment is not meant to turn either of us on, its to teach me the consequences to my actions and further remind me that he owns me.

It can inconvenient to punish me, particularly as we are in an LDR relationship.

For example: He may decide that during our next meeting he will incorporate a pain session. Thats for his pleasure, it is of no importance whether I want, need or desire pain.
A result of such a session serves reminds me that he owns me and can use me as he wishes.
If I derive any pleasure that is a side issue.
Its his right to hurt me, whenever he wishes it.
However, he can equally change his mind.
Practicalities can affect that decision. I may have to work during his visit, or my children may not give us a period of time alone to allow for such a thing to take place.
Therefore he decides not to indulge in a pain session but delay it for another time.

To date, I have warranted punishment once since we have met.
He gave me specific tasks to do on a regular basis and I, by my own admission, did not complete them on that basis.
He explained I would be punished. He was clear I would know when the punishment would start and end. Anything outside of that time was not punishment. When the punishment was over, it would not be brought up later, nor would I be punished at a later date for the same misdemeanour.
On his next visit I was moving house and working. It was at the back of my mind throughout his entire visit that I was to be punished. Both houses needed cleaned, teenagers were around every minute of each day, and at the end of each day we were both exhausted from the move. However I still needed punished. It was not easy or convenient to find energy, time and opportunity to punish me.

It was clear to me that had it not been 'punishment' but a decision about a pain session, he may have decided to delay it for a time when he was more relaxed and had more opportunity.

Time spent punishing me could have been spent kneeling at his feet licking him or serving him in a dozen different ways.

A final add-on ~ My views on punishment were set before Andante and I met. We discussed them as part of our on-going exploration of eachs other views and opinions. I have had several online conversations with 'Doms' prior to knowing Andante. They, in the main, disagreed with my view of the difference between punishment and discipline.

 

[NaughtySlave]

Catalina

You are absolutely right.When I am spanking myself,I know when I'm about to hit myself and how hard,whereas I don't want to know.So it would be much better of course,if He did it himself,cause I wouldn't know when to expect it and how hard He was going to hit me.Thanks for your input

 

[NaughtySlave]

Shy Slave

You explained yourself very well.It makes a lot of sense to me.I hope when my Master and I meet,He will want to spank me just to spank me,and not because I've done anything bad.I know He owns me,and I Love that Thanks to you too.

 

[shy slave]

Thanks for your reply I for some reason enjoy "pissing off" my Master,but only because I know I will get spanked much harder and more if I do.Is that weird?I guess it is.I know you're not supposed to piss off your Master,but He knows I only do it to get whipped more.He knows I'm not trying to disrespect Him.I don't think I can not do anything with Him on the phone cause it will be that much better when we see each other,cause I honestly don't know when we will see each other.I guess it's when I make enough money to get a plane ticket to where He lives.Or vise versa.

I really enjoy getting spanked,and He normally won't don't do it unless I've been bad,so therefor I have to be bad

Naughty slave ~its a personal thing to me but I do see 'pissing off' someone you consider your Master as disrespectful.
However I don't see teasing him in the same light. If I didnt tease him he would think he was a demi-God
To me, it depends how I and when I tease, I don't doubt if I overstep the line he will let me know.

I have spoken to Doms online and this is some of the things they have said they would do or have done, not all are pain punishments

• For not acting in a respectful manner when greeting him ~ kneeling in gravel
• For saying things he dislikes ~ wearing pegs on your tongue and showing him on cam or email pics
• For cumming without permission wearing pegs on your cunt lips and again giving evidence you actually did this

Other things suggested:

• writing on yourself and going out with it on your skin. This is was a common punishment that I heard from online Doms.
• going into the mens toilets and removing underwear to bring back to him
• Inserting an 'egg' whilst in a restaurant
• Making yourself cum whilst on the phone to a relative
• Orgasm denial

Sorry I cant be of more help NaughtySlave. Have fun

 

[His_pita]

1. I will "force" her to eat foods she intensely dislikes or those which will make her stomach highly upset. This I will only do rarely.

2. If I have a proper level of connection with the girl, which is to say that it has a very high intensity, she is already relying on me for her happiness in life. Therefore, if I have to deal with a moderate or serious issue, I will punish her by withholding contact with her for a time period set by me.

Oh that is just gross. I would have to have a hard limit NO if he was going to make me eat something I found disgusting. Like jello or raw tomatoes. Ewwww!

I also don't like the idea of my Sir withholding contact from me. Actually in the begginning he had mentioned this as a possiblilty, but he then thought there would be better ways to getting his point across. Plus, not talking to me would be like punishing himself.


That was a good reply Shy slave. For us discipline means training me in how he wants me to be and punishment would be if I disobeyed him. I hate the idea of doing anything that would make him need to punish me. He knows this and I know the punishment he gives me will fit the crime. For me that might mean seeing the look of disappointment on his face or getting the hairbrush to my bottom. Personally, I would rather have the brush then the look.

 

[shy slave]

I hate the idea of doing anything that would make him need to punish me. He knows this and I know the punishment he gives me will fit the crime. For me that might mean seeing the look of disappointment on his face or getting the hairbrush to my bottom. Personally, I would rather have the brush then the look.

His_Pita I used to think I would rather have the brush than 'the look' but have experienced his punishment I will take 'the look' anyday. At least i can plead that I hate seeing him disappointed as oppose to feeling to sore to sit with the knowledge I disapointed him.

Its win:win for them,
we end up feeling bad both mentally and physically, they get the satisfaction knowing we wont do it again and know just how much pain we can really take

 

[INSIDEYOURMIND]

I am also not a fan of online or phone relationships, the lack of tactile input would leave me completely lacking.

I feel when people say they have considerable experience in this lifestyle, and it all comes from phone or internet, they have little real experience. Different strokes for different folks, but I wanna feel the strokes when I apply them!

I did find this online, and for some it may open up a new avenue, this is a internet remote controlled dildo, your PYL can control what it does to you, and for how long.

Doc Johnson

 

[His_pita]

His_Pita I used to think I would rather have the brush than 'the look' but have experienced his punishment I will take 'the look' anyday. At least i can plead that I hate seeing him disappointed as oppose to feeling to sore to sit with the knowledge I disapointed him.

Its win:win for them,
we end up feeling bad both mentally and physically, they get the satisfaction knowing we wont do it again and know just how much pain we can really take

LOL, oh I do agree with you. The brush is a running joke with us since the beginning. He teases me that he has them by the cases because he will never knows when my mouth will get me into trouble. There is a reason my name is pita (pain in the ass) you know?

 

[Neomagalie]

.....

 

[NaughtySlave]

OMG I want that internet toy!!! That would be so much fun for us!I think my Master would love it too.Thanks!

Also,how can I tease my Master,instead of disrespect him?Got any examples?

 

[Master Sensei]

That reminded me of a time where I said repeatedly and teasing that eating a mayo-peanut butter banana sandwich was disgusting and I was asked to go make myself one and eat it. It’s not that bad, and I will make it for him should he ask but mayo and peanut butter I still don’t understand.

PB and Miracle whip is one of my favorite sandwiches. I've been eating it since I was a kid.

 

[Master Sensei]

Oh that is just gross. I would have to have a hard limit NO if he was going to make me eat something I found disgusting. Like jello or raw tomatoes. Ewwww!

I also don't like the idea of my Sir withholding contact from me.

Thank you for the laugh sweetie. You're obviously not compatible with me or with anyone that I know of who participates in a Master Slave relationship.

In order to get the very best in training and life, you have to be willing to give everything up. You're obviously not willing to give much.

This isn't meant to be an insult (tho I am sure it will be perceived as such) but rather a commentary on our different levels of committment to the lifestyle.

I'd wager that after 10 years of r/l experience your opinions would more closely match mine than they do now.

 

[Miss Diva]

To be honest, I am not a fan of online only relationships and don't have high regard for them.

However, when I intend to meet a girl and I'm forced to temporarily "play" over the phone and internet there are a couple of things I do.

1. I will "force" her to eat foods she intensely dislikes or those which will make her stomach highly upset. This I will only do rarely.

2. If I have a proper level of connection with the girl, which is to say that it has a very high intensity, she is already relying on me for her happiness in life. Therefore, if I have to deal with a moderate or serious issue, I will punish her by withholding contact with her for a time period set by me.

It's hard to explain, or get others to understand and appreciate how powerful that bond is when done properly. To temporarily sever that bond brings great pain and is the most powerful motivating factor when we cannot be together for more tangible corrective measures.

Being forced me to eat chocolate covered fruits...just the thought scares me (seriously I hate chocolate covered fruits). As for withholding contact that is cruel just plain cruel but hightly effective.

 

[His_pita]

Thank you for the laugh sweetie. You're obviously not compatible with me or with anyone that I know of who participates in a Master Slave relationship.

In order to get the very best in training and life, you have to be willing to give everything up. You're obviously not willing to give much.

This isn't meant to be an insult (tho I am sure it will be perceived as such) but rather a commentary on our different levels of committment to the lifestyle.

I'd wager that after 10 years of r/l experience your opinions would more closely match mine than they do now.

I don't take it as an insult at all. I am brand new to this lifestyle and we have yet to take it to real life. Your right I don't know my level of committment to giving everything up. I can tell him all day long online that I want him to fully own me. But, until we start living it we don't know what either of us will end up wanting out of our D/s. That is why we will have a very long contract and it will be reviewed every three months to see where we stand on our issues.

I also certainly hope in 10 years to be a very good slave that my Master will be happy with. Right now he isn't a Master and I am not a slave. I do think we will have a great time learning and growing together though. Golly, I am so PollyAnna today.

 

[h_i_s]

Putting the internet/phone/online stuff aside, as i won't have a positive opinion to offer ....but i can say one thing on that subject: i agree with Catalina on this one. 'Do it yourself' physical punishments are no where near to being even slightly comparable to actually being punished physically by another. i've been punished by being whipped across the ass with a braided leather belt, and the blows nearly bounce me OFF of the bed, and knock the wind out of me. DIY methods can't carry that type of force behind them. The two are simply not comparable. The only thing i can guess would work as online punishments would be in the form of emotional pains, such as being ignored/barred from interactions and communications with the PYL.

For me, as a slave, punishment and disapline are two entirely different things ... which are carried out for entirely different reasons.
Disapline is a method of acts and/or concepts through which i learn to control myself and behave well according to what my Master's expectations of me are defined as ...
Punishment is a method which my Master will use to teach me maintain better control of myself whenever He decides i am not serving properly and/or living up to His expectations of me.
Punishment is used to correct my poor behavior as a slave. He chooses the punishment. He chooses punishments which are never enjoyable for me, and does so purposely.
Punishment is not something i invite willingly, nor will i purposely 'piss Him off' or tease Him with the hope of being punished.
Unless He would be using a brush or any hard impliment other than His bare hand ... spanking would not work as a punishment for me. i enjoy spanking for the most part & my Master does not 'reward' me for poor behavior ... instead He chooses the best methods He can think of which He KNOWS will require a whole lot of submissive self control just for me to present myself for the punishment. All i need is to hear the clinking of His belt's buckle and i am hard pressed to stay put and TAKE it. Punishment is not fun.

 

[Epona's Chylde]

Thanks for your reply I for some reason enjoy "pissing off" my Master,but only because I know I will get spanked much harder and more if I do.Is that weird?I guess it is.I know you're not supposed to piss off your Master,but He knows I only do it to get whipped more.He knows I'm not trying to disrespect Him.I don't think I can not do anything with Him on the phone cause it will be that much better when we see each other,cause I honestly don't know when we will see each other.I guess it's when I make enough money to get a plane ticket to where He lives.Or vise versa.

I really enjoy getting spanked,and He normally won't don't do it unless I've been bad,so therefor I have to be bad

There's just so much in this post that concerns me....

If you're wanting to "piss off" your master, you're not acting very submissive. Master/slave relationships aren't a game. Its about really and truly opening your heart and dedicating your life to his happiness.

I would blame him though for allowing this behavior to surface in you. If he knows you enjoy spanking or other such "light" physical punishment, then it's not terribly intelligent of him to use it as a true punishment. It promotes exactly the sort of a behavior you're showing (ie acting up on purpose to recieve punishment.) Basically, you're topping from the bottom, in my opinion. That is to say, you're manipulating him into doing what you want. He's not in control. You are.

I think a good Dom makes sure there is a distinct difference between "play punishments" and real ones. By a play punishment I mean something like when you're role playing and he sets you up to fail something ("wink wink, you've been such a NAUGHTY girl, I'm going to spank you!"). This should be a totally different sort of punishment than if you truly do something wrong (disobedience, etc). In the latter case, he should come up with something that is effective due to the fact that you really, really hate it.

Personally, I think withholding contact would be absolutely the worst punishment possible. With any other sort of punishment, at least he's giving me SOME sort of attention, even if its negative. We (subs/slaves) are a little like puppies. We'd rather have bad attention than none.

As for your enjoyment of spanking, that's totally normal but I don't think he should be using it as a punishment since you quite obviously love it. I think its his job as a dominant to make sure your needs get met to whatever extent he feels is appropriate. He should be providing an outlet for you to enjoy that without you having to provoke him into it. Its not your job to decide when you recieve these things.

It's for reasons like this that I feel a novice sub is best off with an experienced Dominant.

Of course, I'm fairly new to this myself, but that's just my two cents.

Good luck to you...
Epona

 

[Krinaia]

We’re long distance for another 149 days. We use the internet and phone to talk and play. We don't do much D/s and I don't get punished. But, I’m a good girl you know? We have had a couple of nice discipline sessions. The last one was yesterday where he had me put ice in my bra and panties to teach me that underwear is not acceptable for his submissive. I was on cam, but he wouldn't turn his on to simulate me being blindfold and then he called me and weaved a great fantasy for me on how he would cut my clothes off my body. Lots of fun!

We don't play much because we are too busy getting us to real life and truthfully we would rather wait till we’re in person to do much D/s stuff. I really don’t get what you and others mean by punishment. I thought that was for when I did something bad and I certainly wouldn’t feel aroused if I angered my Sir.

So is there a difference in discipline and punishment? Or is that up to everyone and their own interpretations of what the words mean?

My feelings on the difference between discipline and punishment are distinct. I no longer wish to be labeled submissive... my interests are in the Bondage and Discplien aspects of BDSM and not the Dominance and Submissive aspects. To me, punishment can be several things. It can be part of a role playing scene. Or it can be a real part of a d/s exchange where a bottom or submissive is made to suffer consequences as a result of causing displeasure or breaking "rules" set by the dominant. Punishment is meant to be humilating, make the submissive feel sorry.

Personally, it always made me feel miserable and down on myself. So I have no interest in it, it wasn't healthy for me. But that doesn't mean that I don't like to toss a guy a teasing smile and tell him what a bad girl I am and get my ass spanked. I enjoy spanking and such "punishment" activites so they aren't really punishment. Being ignored or verbally downgraded are punishment for me. I also like to be denied sexually, so that can't be used as punishment. These are things I enjoy as part of kink, so they can be used for my pleasure and his... I don't want them twisted into things used against me to make me hate myself. So I draw a line, they are used for pleasure and as part of discpline role play... NOT for punishment... because if it were really punishment, I wouldn't enjoy it so much.

I want to further add that discpline can have punishment as a part of what happens... for example, I think I'd love to find a dominant who could help me learn better self-dsicpline through his constructive help... so that I could get in shape and stick with an exercise routine. But I wouldn't want to be "punished" because I don't like to feel bad about myself. I would want it to be a positive experience that could help him help me feel good about myself... though ultimately I know it's me that has to do that... so here is another way to me discpline and punishment differ.


<edited to add>

Things done to irritate a dominant just to get the "punishment" activties that a submissive wants to me is "topping from the bottom" and also self-destructive to the relationship. A male submissive online recently tried to provoke me so he could be verbally downgraded - that's the punishment he wanted. I'm a switch, not a dominant but I also wasn't going to play a twisted mind-fuck with him and be manipulated into it. I told him I was going to ignore him until he could come to grips with what he wanted. I would rather just let a dominant know how incredibly turned on I was by being a bad little girl that needed a hard spanking then to go about trying to piss him off to get what he needed. If we're consenting adults, I might as well fess up to what I want and ask for it in a mature way instead of trying to manipulate him into it.

 

[Krinaia]

I know in our relationship if I began to tell him, 'you know you could do this, and that', he would make sure I learned my place and didn't try it again.

Catalina

Yah but I bet he always appreciated insight into how your wicked mind worked and how to turn you on/off. There is a difference between offering up information to deepen the realtionship and giving orders.

 

[h_i_s]

It's for reasons like this that I feel a novice sub is best off with an experienced Dominant.

While it's certainly possible that a novice sub paired with a novice Dom might have some chance at getting along together just fine, i agree with every single point of your post and i can relate to this last one especially well.
When i was seeking a Dom, i had absolutely no experience. All i had was what i had learned from reading, discussions with other real time slaves and submissives and my thoughts in regard to understanding what i may need and may not need (plus what my limits might have been, as well as what i may have wanted to experience in order to determine whether my curiousities would be enjoyable). i had a profile at collarme.com and one of the first lines on it indicated that i sought 'an experienced older gentlemanly Dominant'. i didn't want a Dominant who would possibly be experiencing everything, stumbling blindly through first time experiences, just at the same time as i might have been doing enough stumbling in regard to my own.