Pet peeves

[bluebell]

Something unrelated to phlegm and the juicy epiglottis

You suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, COCKSUCKERFACE!

You make me want to write sonnets.
Maleficent, misanthropic sonnets.

 

[Ekserb]

I'm getting old

Damn. I had a really good one and I forgot it. Double-damn.

 

[elizabeth22673]

....when i have to edit a post because of too many pm's asking about what is going on

 

[Ekserb]

Why do movie characters always drive rare and expensive automobiles? The guys who are trying to be inconspicuous are always tooling around town in a red Ferrari or a '70 GTO. How about just once we get the hero stepping out of a nine-year-old minivan with the driver's door paint not matching the rest of the car? Or maybe a high mileage Geo? Wouldn't that be a little more realistic when they almost always portray these people as barely scraping by on one or two paid jobs a month?

And you'll also notice the emotionally broken, alcoholic, ex-military/black ops/mercenary has six pack abs and can shoot the eyes out of a flying crow, even though he rarely leaves his skid row apartment for fear of stirring the demons within himself.

(That last part was all over the place. It's been slow.)

 

[trysail]

AARP, National Geographic, Smithsonian, BOAT U.S. et al

Almost every large non-taxpaying institution these days is engaged in for-profit enterprises. Very few people are aware of the extent to which many of these "public, not-for-profit" entities are engaged in commercial activities.

AARP, originally founded as a lobbying association, sells just about everything from auto insurance to mutual funds to health insurance. (By the way, for those who think this is some kind of benevolent, altruistic organization looking out for the interests of "old people," I suggest you investigate how much management is paying itself- this ain't no charity- it's a huge racket, as are many of the following.)

The National Geographic Society has its own cable television channel (for god's sake!) to go along with its television production operation, sells a vast panopoly of books, and has a substantial catalogue sales business in addition to its ubiquitous yellow magazine.

The Smithsonian Institution is also in the magazine and catalogue sales business.

BOAT, U.S., ostensibly masquerading as a not-for-profit association will sell you marine insurance and a tow service.

Both The Metropolitan Opera and The Metropolitan Museum of Art are engaged in museum stores and vast catalogue sales efforts that sell a mindboggling array of tchotchkes.

PBS and NPR are also members of the non-taxpaying enterprisers. If these folks get your mail address, your mailbox will be stuffed with their catalogues from now 'til the day you die.

The Federal Tax Code is supposed to prohibit tax-exempt organizations such as these from unfairly utilizing their tax-free status to compete with taxpaying commercial enterprises. If they do engage in commercial activity, they are supposed to be subjected to tax of their Unrelated Business Taxable Income.

I'm annoyed by the behavior of these and similar organizations; they've abused their status and have been turned into marketing operations. If they're going to behave like commercial enterprises and compete with for-profit companies, they ought to be subject to taxation.

 

[trysail]

The governor of my fair state proposed a "tax fairness" bill yesterday.

All the usual smoke, mirrors, and thimblerigging were employed, including the phrase "a penny increase" rather than the actual 20% boost.

You can bet your bottom dollar that the word "progressive" was also utilized; "progressive" is, of course, a code word for "bend over." Whenever I hear it, I contemplate emigration.

Sales taxes are just one more reason not to spend money. If you think about it, it's incredible. We're taxed when we earn it, we're taxed when we invest it, we're taxed when we spend it, and it's taxed when we die.

 

[Ekserb]

Dane Cook is not funny. Not one little bit.

I had a root canal a few years ago; it was funnier than Dane Cook.

Parodies of Dane Cook are hilarious.

 

[monique1971]

Dane Cook is not funny. Not one little bit.

I had a root canal a few years ago; it was funnier than Dane Cook.

Parodies of Dane Cook are hilarious.

You had a root canal? I am so scared of having to get one.

 

[Ekserb]

You had a root canal? I am so scared of having to get one.

Actually, it wasn't bad at all. I had heard all the horror stories of how a root canal is the worst thing ever, but it wasn't.

I had chipped a tooth on some particularly hard granola cereal and when I saw the dentist to have it repaired, he found the tooth was almost all rotten. He started drilling and noticed that the tooth wasn't hard like marble, but soft like ... um ... something not as hard as marble.

He asked if I had felt any pain before the tooth chipped, but I had no idea there was any problem. He gave me another shot of pain-killer and called an endodontist. The other doctor happened to have an immediate opening, so I drove over there and got a root canal. I never felt a thing.

Now I have a gleaming gold crown all the way in the back on the upper left. It fits my personality. You know, 'cause I'm from da 'hood and all.

 

[Ekserb]

Am I the only one who sees these Bionic Man/Woman shows and wonders how the rest of their bodies can handle the stresses placed on them by the few super-strong parts?

Steve Austin used to grab helicopters and pull them from the sky using his one bionic arm. What the fuck?!? What the hell was keeping his feet on the ground? And if his feet were anchored by some unseen bionic feet-hooks, why wasn't he simply torn in two? I mean, his spine wasn't bionic, right?

So this new Jaime Sommers wakes up after her revolutionary surgery and freaks out, hitting the doctor with her one supercharged arm. She should have been pushed back against the bed with the same force (it's that whole action-reaction thing), but instead she just sits there as he is thrown against the opposite wall. Again I say, "What the fuck?!?"

----A few minutes pass----

Okay, now I'm really pissed. In an attempt to figure out what she's capable of, Ms. Sommers just leapt from one rooftop to another. She didn't quite make it, her body hitting the target building mid-torso. Unless she has also been equipped with bionic breasts, she would have suffered serious injuries and probably would have been knocked unconscious, falling to her death.

Oh, I take it all back. Looks like some latent lesbian action coming up.........

 

[Ekserb]

Oh, her one bionic ear just started working. Apparently they've figured out how to track an audible target using just one microphone. (Hint: The reason we can pinpoint the direction of a sound is because we have two ears. When you can only use one ear you can't accurately estimate the direction of a sound source. Not without spinning your head really fast, anyhow.)

P.S. I feel like using this thread as my own peeving blog tonight.

 

[Ekserb]

Did you know that bionic legs work better when they're supported by stiletto heels? I had no idea. Apparently you can run faster and kick harder. Amazing.

 

[Ekserb]

Ugh. So dumb.

There's forty-five minutes of my life I'll never get back.

 

[monique1971]

Ugh. So dumb.

There's forty-five minutes of my life I'll never get back.

But was there any lesbian action?

 

[Ekserb]

But was there any lesbian action?

NO!!! (Goddammit.)

 

[Ekserb]

"[Mobile phone company X] gives you more bars."

So what? What I need - apparently - is ALL the bars. If I have less than a full-strength signal, all I hear is garbage. I don't know why they even put the graduated signal indicator on these fucking phones - there could be four bars or a hundred - anything less than all of them results in shit service. And don't even bother attempting to make a call if you're below half strength. You might as well use a carrier pigeon.

 

[VaGentleOne]

Ok, lazy people in general, but when you go shopping, and you get a cart, at least take it back to the corral they give you. If you hate the walk back, then park beside one!!

 

[trysail]

Ok, lazy people in general, but when you go shopping, and you get a cart, at least take it back to the corral they give you. If you hate the walk back, then park beside one!!

Amen, bro! Makes me wanna coast one of them "mo fos" right down into the side of their cars. Lazy bastards!

 

[Ekserb]

Here's one that I just saw in another thread: People who say the word "question" before asking a question. In the aforementioned thread, the idiot actually typed out the word. (Is it too much to ask that the fool who wrote it stray into this thread and read how much I hate him?)

Am I not able to figure out that there is a query following the words who, what, when, where or how? Do you really think I need to be told that the following sentence isn't merely a statement that ends curiously with a question mark?

Why are people so fucking dumb?

(There are four questions in this post. At no point did I feel the need to announce that fact before I typed out any of them.)

 

[DirtyLilMind]

Here's one that I just saw in another thread: People who say the word "question" before asking a question. In the aforementioned thread, the idiot actually typed out the word. (Is it too much to ask that the fool who wrote it stray into this thread and read how much I hate him?)

Am I not able to figure out that there is a query following the words who, what, when, where or how? Do you really think I need to be told that the following sentence isn't merely a statement that ends curiously with a question mark?

Why are people so fucking dumb?

(There are four questions in this post. At no point did I feel the need to announce that fact before I typed out any of them.)

LOL, * nods* I feel ya, yes I do!

 

[Ekserb]

<sigh>

Men who post to a female's picture thread on the fifth page and say something like, "I'm kicking myself for not finding this thread until now!"

Why? Are you lamenting the lost masturbatory fantasies that you could have had for those two days you were without this thread? Loser.

And while I'm on the topic of thread posting, I'm sick of these little pictures that people build using only numbers and letters of the alphabet. You know what I mean? Little roses and shit? Today i saw a guy build a really big cock with cum shooting out the end. Hmm-boy. You are quite the artiste. Loser again.

 

[rootsfan]

<sigh>

Men who post to a female's picture thread on the fifth page and say something like, "I'm kicking myself for not finding this thread until now!"

Why? Are you lamenting the lost masturbatory fantasies that you could have had for those two days you were without this thread? Loser.

My post here must have served as some sort of inspiration for your kvetching, since you posted in that thread shortly before writing the above. So I'll answer from my perspective--without wild exaggerations or name-calling.

I wrote that to let the OP know that I wish I'd been around sooner, posting compliments, banter, etc. in her thread. (People who start threads tend to like that.) It's a very small attempt at kindness. If it was really all about masturbatory fantasies, I'd never have posted in the first place, I'd just cruise through the convenient index to my heart's content.

Maybe other people have the same intentions when they write such a thing. You have a picture thread yourself, perhaps a few women have posted something similar there. Would you describe them as "losers", too?

But wait, your post couldn't apply to mine, since I posted on page 23 or so of the lady's thread, not page five. And it was a month after the thread started, not five days. So never mind.

 

[Ekserb]

My post here must have served as some sort of inspiration for your kvetching, since ... blah blah blah blah blah

So, you posted on this thread because you felt somehow slighted that I didn't specifically mention you by name? I'm confused.

(And I was talking about you. You and only you. Do you feel special now?)

By the way, welcome to the "kvetch" thread. Loser.

 

[rootsfan]

So, you posted on this thread because you felt somehow slighted that I didn't specifically mention you by name? I'm confused.

(And I was talking about you. You and only you. Do you feel special now?)

By the way, welcome to the "kvetch" thread. Loser.

I didn't imply any kind of slight, so you really are confused. You seem to be good at making up reasons why other people write things, though. I applaud your inventiveness.

Since it turns out you were talking only about me, you really should go back and check your numbers--they're quite inaccurate. Also, avoid the use of collective nouns and vague phrases such as "something like" when you're referring to someone or something specific, as they only lead to confusion.

I've posted here before, so thanks, but the welcome is unnecessary. And I'm sorry you couldn't actually respond to anything in my post, but name-calling really is a poor substitute.

 

[Ekserb]

I didn't imply any kind of slight, so you really are confused. You seem to be good at making up reasons why other people write things, though. I applaud your inventiveness.

Since it turns out you were talking only about me, you really should go back and check your numbers--they're quite inaccurate. Also, avoid the use of collective nouns and vague phrases such as "something like" when you're referring to someone or something specific, as they only lead to confusion.

I've posted here before, so thanks, but the welcome is unnecessary. And I'm sorry you couldn't actually respond to anything in my post, but name-calling really is a poor substitute.

Asshole, this is the Pet Peeves thread. Do you understand what that means? In simple terms, it means anything goes. Got a peeve? Post it here. As it happens, I have lots of peeves. You're now one of them.

If it helps you feel better, I'll single you out from now on. I'll make it my mission in life.