Pet peeves

[MsTexas]

people who promise things and NEVER deliver ... why waste your time and mine by telling me you're gonna do something and NEVER do it?

~shakes head~

 

[SheraQueen]

people who promise things and NEVER deliver ... why waste your time and mine by telling me you're gonna do something and NEVER do it?

~shakes head~

amen Ms Texas. Too many people, too often that way

 

[Ekserb]

"Old people" has been covered, I think, but I had a doosy today. This old guy was French.

Can you possibly imagine the smell I encountered when I walked into his home? I don't think you can, so let me elaborate:

It was as though I had dropped into a cesspool of human feces, mixed with the stench of a rotting corpse. In summer. In Manila.

His breath was not unlike the smell of a restaurant dumpster. How could it not be? It had to be forced past those horrifyingly brown and jagged teeth that protruded at ridiculous angles from his receding gums.

I'll have to spend an extra ten minutes in the shower tonight, but the memory of that fetor will plague my nightmares for months.

 

[Lorali82]

"Old people" has been covered, I think, but I had a doosy today. This old guy was French.
<snip>

Ah, and the French have that lovely habit of spewing spittle everywhere when they speak. I hope you kept your distance. I'm guessing you did.

 

[bluebell]

I'm in for the night. I gotta scrub-a-dub with Brillo...

I'll have to spend an extra ten minutes in the shower tonight

Lor, would you be willing to donate a spare Brillo pad to assist Ekserb in his showering endeavors?
I mean, seeing as you've (no doubt) become the Mistress of Clean Dishes.

 

[Daizie]

Ekserb,

Be sure to clean yourself well, else Lorali's ants will find their way to your home.

I am curious. European men usually bathe themselves in cologne. Did that not mask the foul stench? Or perhaps it only mixed itself in with the other odorous slop. hmmmm.

 

[Ekserb]

Ah, and the French have that lovely habit of spewing spittle everywhere when they speak. I hope you kept your distance. I'm guessing you did.

Lucky for him, he didn't spit on me. Had this occurred, his wife would still be cleaning his remains from the walls.

Be sure to clean yourself well, else Lorali's ants will find their way to your home.

I am curious. European men usually bathe themselves in cologne. Did that not mask the foul stench? Or perhaps it only mixed itself in with the other odorous slop. hmmmm.

Lorali's ants are a bunch of pussies. They wouldn't know what hit 'em if they found their way here.

No cologne. To be honest, that smell was world-class in its wretchedness - to prettify it would have a negative effect on its potential for evil. You know me: I'm all about The Evil. As long as I don't have to smell it.

 

[mattdchef]

People who give up way too much information. Ex. In the doctors office today. This lady sat across from me and told the person she was with all about her feminine hygiene issues. Lady we are 5 feet from each other. I don't care about your yeast infection!

 

[koalabear]

People who give up way too much information. Ex. In the doctors office today. This lady sat across from me and told the person she was with all about her feminine hygiene issues. Lady we are 5 feet from each other. I don't care about your yeast infection!

maybe she thought you were going to make bread......

 

[MsTexas]

You people sure do bitch alot

 

[Lorali82]

Hand pump tubes in lotion bottles that come up about an inch an a half short. Thereby forcing you to extract the significant amount of perfectly good remaining lotion by removing the lid and shaking it directly into your palm and having to scrap the inevitable excess directly from your skin back into the bottle. Or, using the hand pump straw by swirling it around the inside of the container and salvaging whatever sticks to the outside. Like a gorilla uses a twig when it wants to extract bugs from a hole in the ground.

 

[bluebell]

Ipso facto

Hand pump tubes in lotion bottles that come up about an inch an a half short. Thereby forcing you to extract the significant amount of perfectly good remaining lotion by removing the lid and shaking it directly into your palm and having to scrap the inevitable excess directly from your skin back into the bottle. Or, using the hand pump straw by swirling it around the inside of the container and salvaging whatever sticks to the outside. Like a gorilla uses a twig when it wants to extract bugs from a hole in the ground.

I thought I was the only one who hated that.
Well, now that we know, perhaps we should form a support group...or at the very least storm the factories and make them sumbitches change the mechanics of said lotion bottles.


I can't get the lid off the peanut butter jar.

And, just...fuck. In general.

 

[trysail]

Expletive Added !!!



LOL- Ya gotta love it!
Way to go, bluebell7. That's my kind of therapy!

"Reason: Added a necessary f-bomb"

Well done!!

 

[bluebell]

Hari Kari

Heh. Thanks, Trysail. I do what I can.
And if it means saying "fuck", then sure- I'll fall on that sword.

 

[Lorali82]

I thought I was the only one who hated that.
Well, now that we know, perhaps we should form a support group...or at the very least storm the factories and make them sumbitches change the mechanics of said lotion bottles.

There really are much better methods of dispensing lotion, I'm sure. While we're at it, we should have them alter the aerodynamics of the bottles themselves. Because when I flip my bottle with the remaining inch and half of lotion upside down to empty it into a newer, fuller bottle (because fuck if I'm going to rub that stupid plastic tube all over myself when I get out of the shower), about 2/3s of it is held hostage in the corners in the top of the container.

I'm throughly convinced this is a mass conspiracy to get us to buy more lotion more often. Fucking capitalist pigs.

 

[Lorali82]

Side-by-side water fountains with their idiotic constant water pressure. You're either having to perform lip acrobatics to get at the weak stream of water without actually touching the faucet with your mouth, or you're getting cold water splashed on your face when the other person releases the button before you're finished.

 

[koalabear]

Side-by-side water fountains with their idiotic constant water pressure. You're either having to perform lip acrobatics to get at the weak stream of water without actually touching the faucet with your mouth, or you're getting cold water splashed on your face when the other person releases the button before you're finished.

Kind of like a blow job in the dark....

 

[bluebell]

Lotion ne'er do wells

There really are much better methods of dispensing lotion, I'm sure. While we're at it, we should have them alter the aerodynamics of the bottles themselves. Because when I flip my bottle with the remaining inch and half of lotion upside down to empty it into a newer, fuller bottle (because fuck if I'm going to rub that stupid plastic tube all over myself when I get out of the shower), about 2/3s of it is held hostage in the corners in the top of the container.

And that's when the gorilla wand becomes obsolete; there's nowhere to put it, it's slimy, and your hands are all lotion-y. Either way you're just making one hell of a mess.

Have you tried that Oil of Olay in-shower moisturizing body lotion?
It's wonderful, I swear by it now (though I still keep normal lotion around, too).
You kind of get the same problem when you come to the end of the supply, but since you're already in the shower, some goopy weirdness isn't so bad.
And there's no wand. You just unscrew the top and dump the lotion out.
Fab.

 

[Ekserb]

I've been ill. With a fever. Last night I was taking my temperature and discovered a long forgotten peeve: Thermometers are near impossible to read.

Was the thermometer designed with the express intent to stymie (there's that word again!) the sick person trying to read it? I mean, by the time I figure out what it says the temp reading has surely decreased by one or two degrees. Should I then assume that my fever is not a slightly-elevated one hundred one degrees but instead a severe and Emergency Room-worthy one-oh-four?

Oh, well. I cowboyed up and swallowed a few Motrin. Seems to have fixed it.

 

[Daizie]

I've been ill. With a fever. Last night I was taking my temperature and discovered a long forgotten peeve: Thermometers are near impossible to read.

Was the thermometer designed with the express intent to stymie (there's that word again!) the sick person trying to read it? I mean, by the time I figure out what it says the temp reading has surely decreased by one or two degrees. Should I then assume that my fever is not a slightly-elevated one hundred one degrees but instead a severe and Emergency Room-worthy one-oh-four?

Oh, well. I cowboyed up and swallowed a few Motrin. Seems to have fixed it.

Isn't Motrin for women who have period cramps? Just askin'.

Hope you're feeling better Ekserb. Without you around to promote good grammar and spelling....it's a Lit world gone mad!

 

[Ekserb]

Isn't Motrin for women who have period cramps? Just askin'.

Hope you're feeling better Ekserb. Without you around to promote good grammar and spelling....it's a Lit world gone mad!

You're thinking of Midol. The Motrin box says, "for the treatment of pains and fever relief."

I've just about given up on getting these brain-dead fuckers to learn to spell and form coherent sentences. I feel safe in the knowledge that they (including Shinigallbladder - nice way to promote the school you're attending, Dunce) will never really expand beyond their limited ability to express themselves. Who am I to unsettle the balance between intelligent persons and ditch-diggers?

 

[Ekserb]

More freaks

These are from last week. Why am I posting them here? 'Cause I hate Jesus Freaks.

While I was walking around South Beach looking for photo subjects, I heard a ruckus. (No, I can't "describe the ruckus," smart-ass.) Actually, for a few minutes I had been aware of a low roar from a few blocks away and as I got closer it was apparent that something was going on. Something I needed to see. I walked more briskly.

Just as I reached the scene there was a scuffle. The main Freak (I'll call him The Captain) was having a bit of a tussle with an upset bystander and I was just in time to snap a few pics. Here's Captain Freak and "friend."
http://homepage.mac.com/pdbreske/jesus_freaks/PICT1558.jpg

Our hero was desperate to get that banner from The Captain. Eventually our gay friend wore down this man of the lord and was able to toss the banner in the nearest garbage can. I'm sorry I didn't get a picture of that event.
http://homepage.mac.com/pdbreske/jesus_freaks/PICT1559.jpg

Here's a sassy Latina giving The Captain's Number One a good tongue lashing.
http://homepage.mac.com/pdbreske/jesus_freaks/PICT1566.jpg

Soon the police arrived to spoil everyone's fun. The Captain was showing Der Polizei some video shot by his platonic girlfriend as the crowd continuously taunted the group of god-fearing homophobes.
http://homepage.mac.com/pdbreske/jesus_freaks/PICT1574.jpg

Here's The Captain after retrieving his banner from the trash. (The sign reads: "HOMO SEX IS A THREAT TO NATIONAL SECURITY")
http://homepage.mac.com/pdbreske/jesus_freaks/PICT1581.jpg

He continued to document the event while rolling up his Banner of Hate. Here he talks to the camera being held by his unsinful girlfriend/wife.
http://homepage.mac.com/pdbreske/jesus_freaks/PICT1584.jpg

Finally he asked the police if he could address the crowd. Here you can see the unsympathetic crowd that had gathered. There were about three hundred people on both sides of the street yelling at this guy and his crew to get the fuck off of South Beach. (Just like last time, these guys have lots of stuff packed into their waistbands. I guess god's work requires many implements.)
http://homepage.mac.com/pdbreske/jesus_freaks/PICT1594.jpg

 

[monique1971]

I've been ill. With a fever. Last night I was taking my temperature and discovered a long forgotten peeve: Thermometers are near impossible to read.

Was the thermometer designed with the express intent to stymie (there's that word again!) the sick person trying to read it? I mean, by the time I figure out what it says the temp reading has surely decreased by one or two degrees. Should I then assume that my fever is not a slightly-elevated one hundred one degrees but instead a severe and Emergency Room-worthy one-oh-four?

I have seen thermometers that have a digital readout instead of the conventional red line. Might try one of those.

 

[Ekserb]

I have seen thermometers that have a digital readout instead of the conventional red line. Might try one of those.

Do you really want to read that I had to crawl across the floor to the junk drawer in the kitchen looking for batteries as I whimper and convulse in agony because my nifty new thermometer has been sitting unused in the medicine cabinet for years? You goddamn bitch.

 

[Lorali82]

And that's when the gorilla wand becomes obsolete; there's nowhere to put it, it's slimy, and your hands are all lotion-y. Either way you're just making one hell of a mess.

Have you tried that Oil of Olay in-shower moisturizing body lotion?
It's wonderful, I swear by it now (though I still keep normal lotion around, too).
You kind of get the same problem when you come to the end of the supply, but since you're already in the shower, some goopy weirdness isn't so bad.
And there's no wand. You just unscrew the top and dump the lotion out.
Fab.

That does sound like a nice product, but I'd be wary of spilling some on the floor, slipping, and breaking my neck on the side of the tub.

They'd find my naked bloated body a week later when the neighbors called the police about the smell. My eyes would probably be missing and I'd have cat-bite-sized chunks removed from my flesh.

*shudder*