Pet peeves

[monique1971]

people who keep border collies as suburban pets

To: My Neighbor
From: monique1971
Re: Your border collies

Madam: Your border collies were bred to work eighteen hour days in all weather, independently make decisions, and act as a team with a master who respects their skills. Although you may think that by putting a roof over their heads and shaking some Wal-Mart kibble into a bowl once a day, you have provided adequately for their needs, I must point out to you that your dogs require something to do. Hysterically barking and hurling themselves against the windows every time a person walks by their house does not qualify in this respect.

PS. Tying your dogs out in the driveway for hours on end does not exercise them. If you don't want to walk dogs, then why the fuck did you acquire them?

PPS. At least give those dogs a bowl of water when you tie them out.

 

[bluebell]

Hear ye...

To: My Neighbor
From: monique1971
Re: Your border collies

Madam: Your border collies were bred to work eighteen hour days in all weather, independently make decisions, and act as a team with a master who respects their skills. Although you may think that by putting a roof over their heads and shaking some Wal-Mart kibble into a bowl once a day, you have provided adequately for their needs, I must point out to you that your dogs require something to do. Hysterically barking and hurling themselves against the windows every time a person walks by their house does not qualify in this respect.

PS. Tying your dogs out in the driveway for hours on end does not exercise them. If you don't want to walk dogs, then why the fuck did you acquire them?

PPS. At least give those dogs a bowl of water when you tie them out.

This masterpiece will be what President Bush reads the next time he addresses the nation.

 

[bluebell]

Smart and stuff

Hah! I agree, but the best part of this post is the juxtaposition of Ayn Rand and Amelia Bedelia.

Unfortunately, most people turn out to be pretty boring, myself included.

I think the people who have enough brains to think they're boring are the only people who aren't.
Perhaps with a few exceptions.

 

[Daizie]

yet another driving pet peeve

People who wait until the last minute to cut over into my lane. It's as if the exit, or the turn they need to make just suddenly appeared...out of nowhere!

They're driving along, many of them on the phone (another pet peeve) and all of a sudden it occurs to them. "I need to get over there! I'll just cut this person off, they won't mind." And so into my lane they barge, and many times without so much as a courtesy wave or nod. Bastards!! Sometimes I just want to block their "I'm more important than you" attempt. You lose! You get nothing! Good day sir!

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

People who wait until the last minute to cut over into my lane. It's as if the exit, or the turn they need to make just suddenly appeared...out of nowhere!

They're driving along, many of them on the phone (another pet peeve) and all of a sudden it occurs to them. "I need to get over there! I'll just cut this person off, they won't mind." And so into my lane they barge, and many times without so much as a courtesy wave or nod. Bastards!! Sometimes I just want to block their "I'm more important than you" attempt. You lose! You get nothing! Good day sir!

I can totally relate

 

[Ekserb]

People who wait until the last minute to cut over into my lane. It's as if the exit, or the turn they need to make just suddenly appeared...out of nowhere!

They're driving along, many of them on the phone (another pet peeve) and all of a sudden it occurs to them. "I need to get over there! I'll just cut this person off, they won't mind." And so into my lane they barge, and many times without so much as a courtesy wave or nod. Bastards!! Sometimes I just want to block their "I'm more important than you" attempt. You lose! You get nothing! Good day sir!

I totally already called this one! See my post, number 34 on this thread.

I do like your final salutation to the other driver, though.

 

[Ekserb]

Surely some radio station in Miami broadcasts Rush Limbaugh or some similar right-wing hero. I would have thought he was much more your style.

I don't care much for those little music clips either, for the same reason.

I'm not affiliated with any political party, as all politicians are exactly the same in my book. The political evangelists are even worse.

 

[bluebell]

Mind-numbing crap

I hate when you get around people whose only topics of conversation include the following:

1) The weather.
Yeah, pretty sure it's gonna keep on changing. Global warming has caused the weather to go into menopause. It's weird. We get it.

2) Sickness, medications, and anything else having to do with either one. This includes stupid pharmacy employees, hospital stories, and the maladies involving sickly neighbors and their ungrateful offspring.
Just once I'd like to hear a really funny bedpan story.

3) Real estate, lawncare, and DIY home remodeling.
Does anyone on the face of the earth besides my uncle give a care about whether you can pay someone to re-grout a shower by first asking them to remove the old grout?
And how long can you stare at a ceiling without first having been diagnosed as catatonic?

4) The dual nature of that smart-assed little hand-held 20 Q game.
That thing is the spawn of satan and, for fear of irreversably confusing the "nearing elderly" crowd, should be destroyed in its birthplace: the fires of hell.

 

[monique1971]

I hate when you get around people whose only topics of conversation include the following:

<list of bad conversational topics snipped for brevity>

5) Developmental milestones of children. Yes, I am sure that it truly is miraculous for you to see your child walk for the first time, but it isn't that miraculous for me to hear about it.

6) How tired and stressed you are from taking care of said children. Yes, I know that being a Mommy is The Most Important Job in the World. Even so, enough already.

 

[Ekserb]

Here we go again.

You've heard about the two kids that were found together after being abducted (sorry ... allegedly abducted) years apart by the same guy. The most recent was four days ago while the other was four years ago.

Here's my peeve: You see the signs in front of the churches? "Thank God for the return of our children." Thank God?!? Where the fuck has He been for the past four fucking years? Where was God when the creepy fucker was grabbing this kids off the street? Why didn't He simply slide a banana peel under the foot of the abductor?

I could tell you why not, but that is the subject of another thread....

 

[Ekserb]

5) Developmental milestones of children. Yes, I am sure that it truly is miraculous for you to see your child walk for the first time, but it isn't that miraculous for me to hear about it.

6) How tired and stressed you are from taking care of said children. Yes, I know that being a Mommy is The Most Important Job in the World. Even so, enough already.

My brother has a newborn baby and I'm subjected to this kind of thing all the time. It's hard to raise a baby? I had no idea. I've only heard that from every person in the world who has ever raised a baby, including my own mother.

My brother asked me the other day if I wanted to learn how to change the kid's diapers. My response? "How many diapers did you change before you had a kid? Since I'm never going to have one, I have no reason at all to know this particular skill."

 

[bluebell]

Jam hands

My brother asked me the other day if I wanted to learn how to change the kid's diapers. My response? "How many diapers did you change before you had a kid? Since I'm never going to have one, I have no reason at all to know this particular skill."

He was probably trying to get you to pre-babysit (like that'll ever happen) so that "I don't know how to change diapers" could not be used as a future excuse.
Either that or he was trying to convince you of "the miracle" of everyday life, as found in a poopy diaper...

Oh! That's another thing. These people with small children refuse to believe that you could regard their offspring as anything other than adorable, even after you've blatantly stated it, and will thus continue to ask you to do banal and uncomfortable things like babysit.
Sorry for the run-on. You can breathe now.

 

[Daizie]

More mind-numbing crap....

People who feel the need to inform you of their spouses financial accomplishments. I'm really glad that Joe got that promotion but I really don't need to know that he is now making $20,000 more annually or that he just got a $5,000 bonus. Unless you plan on giving me some of that cash, keep it to yourself!

 

[monique1971]

Oh! That's another thing. These people with small children refuse to believe that you could regard their offspring as anything other than adorable, even after you've blatantly stated it, and will thus continue to ask you to do banal and uncomfortable things like babysit.
Sorry for the run-on. You can breathe now.

This is a variant on "I refuse to believe that you don't want children!" That's something I hear often, and it never fails to annoy me.

I actually like small children, and don't mind babysitting once in a while. That doesn't mean I want to be a mother, and I am oh-so-tired of people trying to convince me that I should be one.

 

[Lorali82]

People who talk during the movie. This includes the group of kids sitting behind you yelling at the screen and the guy sitting next to you who turns to you during some pivotal moment and says something like, "this is cool, watch."

Where was I looking? I was watching, fuckface. Thanks for completely taking me out of the moment.

 

[Macdaddy23]

Or someone telling you about the movie before you see it and what happens.

 

[bluebell]

Giant rustling rats

Movie theater pet peeves...must back away...too many...

 

[Ekserb]

People who talk during the movie. This includes the group of kids sitting behind you yelling at the screen and the guy sitting next to you who turns to you during some pivotal moment and says something like, "this is cool, watch."

Where was I looking? I was watching, fuckface. Thanks for completely taking me out of the moment.

Goddammit. This happened to me when I saw Apocalypto. Three college-age kids were talking during the entire movie. "Ooo, that guy's a bad-ass!" "Man, that was cool!"

After I shot them The Look, they thought it would be funny to get even louder. I've never been so close to starting a fist fight in a public venue.

Why do cocksuckers like this even go out to see movies? For fuck's sake, wait for the DVD if you're going to talk all night like it's your fucking living room.

 

[Ekserb]

...I actually like small children, and don't mind babysitting once in a while.

You're a better person than me.

 

[Ekserb]

He was probably trying to get you to pre-babysit (like that'll ever happen) so that "I don't know how to change diapers" could not be used as a future excuse.
Either that or he was trying to convince you of "the miracle" of everyday life, as found in a poopy diaper...

Oh! That's another thing. These people with small children refuse to believe that you could regard their offspring as anything other than adorable, even after you've blatantly stated it, and will thus continue to ask you to do banal and uncomfortable things like babysit.
Sorry for the run-on. You can breathe now.

Them: "Look at how adorable she is! She's a little angel!"

Me: "Yeah, she looks like a baby, all right."

"Oh, you love her and you know it!"

"Okay. Whatever."

"Just wait 'til you have one. You're gonna be all gushing just like everyone does."

"Ugh."

"Come in here and watch me change her poopy diapers."

 

[monique1971]

Movies

When I went to see the most recent rehash of the Batman mythos, there was a man sitting behind me with his son, who looked to be about 5. The movie has some intense moments, and it's way too scary for a kid that age. Not surprisingly, the child started whimpering. The father responded by yelling at the kid to shut up.

My thoughts:

1) Your kid is scared. Be a fucking parent, and take him outside.
2) Your kid is loud. Be considerate of the rest of us, and take him outside.
3) Your yelling is unpleasant and distracting. If you must yell at your kid...you know...take him outside.

The person that I was with said something to the guy, who then became really belligerent. What is wrong with people like this?

 

[Thorntak]

Pet peeve

Yes, those who solicite naughty emails, reply with a "lets do it!" and then don't bother to continue after you've done quite a bit of writing and emailing are the ones that really p** me off!

If you can't stand the smell, don't go to the toilet!

 

[Ekserb]

The person that I was with said something to the guy, who then became really belligerent. What is wrong with people like this?

This is a real problem with our society nowadays. When you tell someone that they are doing the wrong thing, they immediately take offense and berate you for pointing out their fault.

If someone is on the phone in the car ahead of you and they don't see the light has changed to green, they will instantly show you their middle finger when you honk your horn at them.

If you get the wrong food at the drive-thru, the attendant rolls her eyes when you point out the error and you're lucky if your corrected order isn't covered in "special sauce."

You're moving down the aisle at the grocery store and two people have stopped to chat, taking up the entire width of the aisle with their carts. When you say, "Excuse me," they (once again) roll their fucking eyes and casually make a hole almost wide enough for you to get through without nudging the stocked boxes of tea enough to create a Lipton avalanche under your feet.

People. Fucking. Suck.

 

[bluebell]

Is it wrong that I love this thread so much?

People. Fucking. Suck.

Stop it. You're turning me on, dammit.

 

[Ekserb]

Stop it. You're turning me on, dammit.

I know! Right?

I am so totally screwed up. I really enjoy reading this thread to find other people who are just as pissed off as I am about the ridiculously fucked-up-ness of our society.

The government doesn't offend me. The war doesn't offend me. Climate change doesn't offend me.

Seeing someone toss a dirty diaper out the window of their car as they're driving down the street provokes me to murderous rage.