Pet Peeve

[CorsetLvr]

I just had something I wanted to get off of my chest and see what you think.

I was recently reading a story by a highly rated writer (here we go again). While it was a very well written story (from a stylistic POV), there was one thing that really struck me. The rather long series had several anal sex scenes in it. I am an anal erotic woman and I know a well written anal scene when I read it. However, the scenes in this story were obviously writen from either a "caveman" type POV or by someone that has never experienced anal sex outside of erotica. I rather think it is the later. The scenes showed a total lack of sensitivity and experience. The funny part was that they invariably resulted in immediate orgasms of the "best of my life" variety. I posted a comment in one of the story segments to this effect and this AM I was not surpised to see that it had been deleted. I had tried to emphasize in my comment that it was intended solely as constructive criticism. Apparently this writer is not interested in that sort of thing, at least in public. Throught out the comment I repeatedly made the comment that I was only trying to provide some info to help make his stories more realistic. Admittedly, this may not have been the proper venue for such a critique. Perhaps an email would have been more appropriate.

What this whole issue comes down to is this: do we, as writers bare some sort of social responsibility to educate our readers? Furthermore, do we bare some sort of responsibility to present sexual activity in an accurate manner? My concern here is that our stories can serve to perpetuate sexual myths. That they may do some harm. If I was some inexperienced 18 year old boy reading this story I would probably come away from his stories with the following beliefs: (1) all women can't get enough anal sex, (2) no lube of preparation is necessary for pleasurable anal sex, (3) all women love having a dry cock shoved up their ass and doing so will always result in immediate, mindblowing orgasms and (4) it's perfectly OK to follow anal sex with vaginal sex without stopping to clean up first. All of these conclusions could be the farthest thing from the truth. Needles to say, the above mentioned young man is not going to become real popular with the ladies, at least until he re-learns these preconceived notions.

From discussions with several female friends over the years I know that a lot of women are traumatized by disastrous anal sex experiences early in their sex lives. I was one of them that eventually, over a period of many years, overcame them. The conclusion that anal sex is a painful and degrading sex act is an easy one to reach in many cases. Any future attempts become a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy as a result. If you expect it to be painful, it will be. That's pretty much the long and short of it. I can't help but wonder what role porn and erotica plays in all of this. When was the last time you saw an anal scene in a video where they stopped to use lube or to prepare the recipient before insertion? In reality I know it happen off camera. Again, what impression does the inexperienced take away from this, both male and female?

What do you think?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

If I was some inexperienced 18 year old boy reading this story I would probably come away from his stories with the following beliefs: (1) all women can't get enough anal sex, (2) no lube of preparation is necessary for pleasurable anal sex, (3) all women love having a dry cock shoved up their ass and doing so will always result in immediate, mindblowing orgasms and (4) it's perfectly OK to follow anal sex with vaginal sex without stopping to clean up first. All of these conclusions could be the farthest thing from the truth.

Where's Stella???

Honestly, I have experienced anal sex without extra lubrication and have not only survived it, but prefer it... but I know most women like lotsa K-Y. There have been tons of debates on here about sexual realism... should we write-in condoms? Should we write-in oodles of K-Y? It's a fine line, I think, sometimes, and comes under the heading of "suspending disbelief."

Just wanted to offer that there ARE women out there (a minority, I'm sure) who do love anal sex, have mindblowing orgasms, all without the benefit of extra lube.

 

[CorsetLvr]

Just wanted to offer that there ARE women out there (a minority, I'm sure) who do love anal sex, have mindblowing orgasms, all without the benefit of extra lube.

Let me ask you this. Would your first anal sex experience have been enjoyable without lube and preparation? Furthermore, what percentage of women do you think you represent? I would suggest that you are pretty much the minrity among anal erotic women. Anal erotic women are a minority in and of themselves. Based on the stories I have heard from a lot of women, its exactly this kind of behavior portrayed in these stories that may be the cause.

I meant to say in my original post that there are exceptions to this general rule, and I am occasionally one of them myself. However, that is after several years of anal experience. Would you have enjoyed your first anal experience if it was unannounced, with a dry penis, was "slammed" into you, and followed with vaginal sex without a little soap and water first? I doubt you would have enjoyed the possible resulting infection. See my point?

I completely understand the concept of suspended disbelief and that was something else I was going to bring up. However, does the previously mentioned 18 yr. old have the knowledge to understand the difference between reality and fantasy? This isn't dungeon and dragons. There can be real world consequences.

I do tend to be a little "educational" in some of my stories. Accuracy is one of the things I strive for in my stories. I suppose this is a sort of knee jerk reaction to a lot of the "suspended disbelief" things I see in other writer's stories. A balancing of the scales, so to speak.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I do tend to be a little "educational" in some of my stories. Accuracy is one of the things I strive for in my stories. I suppose this is a sort of knee jerk reaction to a lot of the "suspended disbelief" things I see in other writer's stories. A balancing of the scales, so to speak.

well, there are two camps (and a million shades of gray in between) I think, when it comes to erotica and the suspension of disbelief. Some have the idea that "Hey, this is fantasy, we can have sex with unicorns or dry hump condom-free all we want!" and others get pulled out of a story when someone has unprotected sex with a stranger, or shoves a dry cock in an ass and starts pumping away...

the debate rages in porn as well... lots of people hate to see condoms in the action, it pulls them out of the fantasy... lots of people campaign for them, for the safety of the actors.

I ride a middle ground when it comes to stories... if you manage to suspend my disbelief, I'll keep reading... if you don't, I won't. But there are things that will pull me out of a story, and over-educating is one of them, actually, when it's clear that the author is trying to "send a message" to the reader. That feels patronizing to me.

 

[Guest]

Where's Stella???

Honestly, I have experienced anal sex without extra lubrication and have not only survived it, but prefer it...

Just wanted to offer that there ARE women out there (a minority, I'm sure) who do love anal sex, have mindblowing orgasms, all without the benefit of extra lube.

Amen, sister!

 

[CorsetLvr]

I ride a middle ground when it comes to stories... if you manage to suspend my disbelief, I'll keep reading... if you don't, I won't. But there are things that will pull me out of a story, and over-educating is one of them, actually, when it's clear that the author is trying to "send a message" to the reader. That feels patronizing to me.

I'll agree with you on that. I try to sneak it in without being to obvious. Sometimes I think just portraying sex realistically is enough, especially when it comes to alternative activities.

Anal sex is a good example. One of the main scenes in my most recent story involved a first time anal experience. A lot of my stories revolve around swinging and group sex. I can't count how many stories I have read that involve some combination of bodies that simply isn't anatomically possible. This is one of those things that pull me out of a story. Likewise, supposed swinging stories that contain an unrealistic relationship dynamic will pull me out of a story. Lesbian or bisexual stories written by a man that clealy doesn't understand that type of relationship will pull me out a story. BDSM stories are a whole post in and off themselves. Rarely do I read a BDSM story (especially written from a Dom POV) where I come away from it with the feeling the author has the tiniest bit of a clue as to what the D/s lifestyle is really about. My ability to suspend disbelief does have some limits as well.

The stories by the author that set me off on this tirade seem to be based on a formula. Many are have a similar plot. After reading a couple of them I couldn't help but ask myself, exactly how many asian, nympho, bisexual anal sluts (who all happen to enjoy rough sex) are there out there that are willing to share their stud boyfriend (who apparently has magical sexual powers) with the entire sorority. Did I also mention that they are all capable of deep throating the largest cock? While this may have great stroke portential for the average reader, it leaves me wondering what else this writer is capable of. Perhaps it's a matter of wasted potential. As I said, he does write well and has some good plot lines. I suppose the only issue there is character development.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Perhaps it's a matter of wasted potential. As I said, he does write well and has some good plot lines. I suppose the only issue there is character development.

or perhaps they are writing to potential?


there are many many more bad stories like you listed above on Lit than good ones, honestly... the amount is actually staggering...

but I suppose that's why publishers have slush piles...

Lit, on the other hand, accepts (almost) everything that comes their way as long as it conforms to the guidelines...

But the public feedback can be brutal. Sometimes I think of Lit as the "American Idol" auditions... There are a few Kelly Clarkstons but a lot of William Hungs...

 

[CorsetLvr]

or perhaps they are writing to potential?


there are many many more bad stories like you listed above on Lit than good ones, honestly... the amount is actually staggering...

but I suppose that's why publishers have slush piles...

Lit, on the other hand, accepts (almost) everything that comes their way as long as it conforms to the guidelines...

But the public feedback can be brutal. Sometimes I think of Lit as the "American Idol" auditions... There are a few Kelly Clarkstons but a lot of William Hungs...

Personally, this is the first time I had ever left a comment that was remotely negative. I guess I have always followed the concept of "if you don't have something good to say, don't say anything." Hopefully this author may have gotten something from my comments, before deleting it. Realistically, I doubt it.

The thing that gets me is that his stories are all over page 1 of the Top List, including near the top. That's probably where I found him. I suppose this goes back to what someone mentioned earlier about the reading tastes of the "unwashed masses." They aren't looking for Shakespeare or Tolstoy. More likely they are just looking for something that results in the filling a tissue. While I don't claim to be a great writer, I do wonder why you can't have both. Good writing and high "stroke potential." If it sneaks in a little education along the way, the more the better.