Pet hates.

[snooper]

What pet hates do editors have?

And should they let them show when editing?

I have one, and it is best summed up by one of my {in}famous General Comments.

17. You seem obsessed with statistics. When I look at a woman I don’t think in terms of how many inches her bust is. I don’t believe that a woman looks at a man’s penis and thinks, 'How many inches is that?' Compare:
“In came Mrs. Fezziwig. She was 5’ 11”, 280lbs, 48DD-44-48. She was smiling.”
with Charles Dickens’ original:
“In came Mrs.Fezziwig, one vast substantial smile.”
I don’t expect you to write like Dickens, but I do hope you’ll stop writing like a police pathologist.

 

[kbate]

Hates:

it's its errors.
Your, You're errors.
Their, There, They're errors.

as he went, as she left, as she died, as as as as as -- As gets boring.
at -- see above

***
the laundry list descriptions of characters, removing all need for imagination.
If their appearance isn't important to the story, let me imagine what they look like, don't tell me. --- She was 5'4", had beautiful brown hair, brown eyes, an hourglass shape, but her 36DD boobs were the best feature. *chokes self for writing this*

Physical impossibilities -- He rapidly plunged his 13 inches into her 102 pound body, making her 38DD boobies wobble enticingly. *kills self for writing this*

(note excess adverb usage also)
slowly, gently, softly, slightly <-- forget that you ever heard of these words.

 

[FallingToFly]

What pet hates do editors have?

And should they let them show when editing?

I have one, and it is best summed up by one of my {in}famous General Comments.

17. You seem obsessed with statistics. When I look at a woman I don’t think in terms of how many inches her bust is. I don’t believe that a woman looks at a man’s penis and thinks, 'How many inches is that?' Compare:
“In came Mrs. Fezziwig. She was 5’ 11”, 280lbs, 48DD-44-48. She was smiling.”
with Charles Dickens’ original:
“In came Mrs.Fezziwig, one vast substantial smile.”
I don’t expect you to write like Dickens, but I do hope you’ll stop writing like a police pathologist.

Writers who throw information around like confetti, but refuse to add enough detail to get a feel for the characters. One of my regular girls has -finally- been broken of the habit, but I've still got a couple of pieces I'm working my way through that I feel like I'm just banging my head against a brick wall.

 

[Lady Reiha]

I hate when the story seems like it was just strung together
ie/. Sally went over to my house, she ripped off my pants, blew me, we made love and now I'm fucking her again.

Does that turn you on? Sure dosen't for Rei.

 

[CopyCarver]

It's probably odd for a language lover, but usage/grammar/punctuation errors or even egregiously bad writing bother me less than illogic. Syllogisms, begging the question, anecdotal evidence masquerading as evidence, "ergo propter hocs" and the 47 other flavors of fallacies drive me up the wall--whether in fiction or nonfiction.

I guess it's because I have a fighting chance of teaching writers that "its" is a possessive and "it's" is a contraction, but very little hope of convincing mindless knee-jerkers that their heroic prosecuting attorney didn't, never has, and never will gain "justice for the murder victim"--who's still dead after "justice" is achieved.

 

[Cyyber_Chick]

I hate the completely unrealistic/impossible descriptions of women that are 100 pounds but have 36 DDs and the men that are 9" and bigger around than my fist. That just doesn't happen, and if it did, it'd be freakish, not sexy.

But what I REALLY hate is when writers are describing a particular act or position and then throw in something impossible in the next line... If you've already said your characters are going at it doggy style, then it's really hard to believe that the woman (bottom) could manage to run her fingers through his hair or wrap her legs around the guy. If you're trying to picture everything as you're reading, it ruins the moment when you have to figure out what you missed or what kind of contortionists these people must be.

 

[snooper]

Another one just came up in something I read - a character whose name changes between Ch. 01 and Ch. 02!

And when an author has changed a name by a careless global edit so Ken became Tom, and then they don't spell check again, and I come across "His arm was broTom."

 

[fieryjen]

Another one just came up in something I read - a character whose name changes between Ch. 01 and Ch. 02!

And when an author has changed a name by a careless global edit so Ken became Tom, and then they don't spell check again, and I come across "His arm was broTom."

I must confess, I've been guilty of that second one I realize the dangers of doing a global edit, but sometimes the name you replace doesn't seem like it could be contained in any other words, and yet it is. I go through the names one by one now.

I do change my names rather a lot, because I get inspired by poeple around me, but I do wish do protect their identity.

 

[snooper]

I must confess, I've been guilty of that second one I realize the dangers of doing a global edit, but sometimes the name you replace doesn't seem like it could be contained in any other words, and yet it is. I go through the names one by one now.
...

Most editors have a "Whole Words only" option on global changes.

 

[J.Q. Hack]

Pet hates

One thing that irks the hell out of me while reading any kind of writing whether it be fiction or nonfiction is overuse of passive verb constructions. At one time my writing suffered horribly from that affliction but an unrelenting professor in grad school beat it out of me and cured me of it for the most part. I still occasionally have problems with it but I can usually catch it before it gets too out of hand. I find that once the passive verb is taken out of a sentence the write snaps better and is much more forceful.

J.Q.

 

[Angel Love]

Hates:

it's its errors.
Your, You're errors.
Their, There, They're errors.

as he went, as she left, as she died, as as as as as -- As gets boring.
at -- see above

***
the laundry list descriptions of characters, removing all need for imagination.
If their appearance isn't important to the story, let me imagine what they look like, don't tell me. --- She was 5'4", had beautiful brown hair, brown eyes, an hourglass shape, but her 36DD boobs were the best feature. *chokes self for writing this*

Physical impossibilities -- He rapidly plunged his 13 inches into her 102 pound body, making her 38DD boobies wobble enticingly. *kills self for writing this*

(note excess adverb usage also)
slowly, gently, softly, slightly <-- forget that you ever heard of these words.

I think that the opposite of this can be just as frustrating. The writer who does not give ANY descriptions. You have NO idea who he's talking about, what that person looks like, where he/she comes from, what the scene is ect. One thing that I tell my authors (in MHO) is necessary for a good story is to make your reader hear, see, smell, taste and feel the story any way they can without being redundant . . . shrugs.

 

[fieryjen]

Most editors have a "Whole Words only" option on global changes.

I didn't even know that existed. How handy.

 

[snooper]

I didn't even know that existed. How handy.

Most software in general use has had so many features added that each user knows only a sub-set of them. Well-established items like MSWord have literally hundreds of commands, and most people only use a few tens of them.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Most software in general use has had so many features added that each user knows only a sub-set of them. Well-established items like MSWord have literally hundreds of commands, and most people only use a few tens of them.

DOH!!!!!

I just checked the "More" button (MS Word) and lo and behold, there it is! "Whole Words Only"! woo-hoo!

You rock, Snoop

 

[snooper]

I just checked the "More" button (MS Word) and lo and behold, there it is! "Whole Words Only"! woo-hoo!

Be careful with it - MSWord does what it says, but that isn't always what you expect!

You rock, Snoop

The slight rocking motion you have detected is "the onset of motor ataxia due to advancing senility" or in English, I'm so old I get the shakes.

 

[RogueLurker]

Be careful with it - MSWord does what it says, but that isn't always what you expect!

That belongs in a sig!

 

[RogueLurker]

It's not a pet peeve, but it makes me laugh ... and sometimes shake my head. I have been known to hold my ground when it comes to a word is being used inappropriately. In some cases, someone has gone through the thesaurus and found a synonym to replace a word, but the actual meaning of that synonym is slightly different and changes the context of the sentence or just doesn't fit. In others, a person just likes the sound of the word ... the hell with the meaning. Like I said ... it makes me shake my head at times.

My pet peeve isn't with editing, per se. What drives me nuts is what happens after the edit. After spending x hours going through a story (usually in a category that holds little interest for me), correcting, suggesting, trying to explain why things don't work well, etc I send the document back to the author. And that's it. I get no acknowledgment that they received it, that they read the changes, that they agreed with the changes, that they think I'm the biggest ass on the site. Nothing. I hate working in a vacuum. Even if they tell me that I am a shitty editor and all my changes sucked and my mother dresses me funny ... at least I know that they got the fricking document. I'm not looking for a dedication/acknowledgment on the posted story ... I'm talking about a bit of common decency and politeness to say "I got it, I'll review it, thanks" or "I got it. You suck! Die editor die!"

The lack of response/acknowledgment is actually the exception rather than the general rule ... but it really ticks me off.

But maybe I'm just in a bad mood today ... woe to the author whose story I edit tonight ...

 

[kbate]

But maybe I'm just in a bad mood today ... woe to the author whose story I edit tonight ...

Oh shit! Bitch!

Wait... I have ten thousand words finished to add between the prologue and the start of chapter 1....

 

[LadyCibelle]

You really wanna know my biggest pet peeves?

It's the writer who asks you a thorough and detailed comment/edit/analizis of his work and then slams you, bitches, moans and complains when your findings are not to his likings ;

It's the writer who when receiving your comments and edits asks you of suggestions and/or names of writers YOU consider to be really good and turns around and go trolling those writers just because they are better than him;

It's the writer who asks for your help and you give it in good faith. Then, said writer posts his story without a single change of the ones you suggested but still put your name right there on top of his story as the editor so people can complain about YOU and say how poorly YOU edited his story;

It's the writer that makes you sweat blood over his story, who contacts you at any hour of day or night because he needs your help and then suddenly writes to you telling you "oh well, you know, I much prefer my story unedited so i'll keep it like that";

But funny enough...you want to hear the counterpart of that?

A few weeks ago I was in a pissy mood and a writer sent me his stories to edit and unfortunately his stories were really bad written, badly formatted, in a word...BAD! Maybe because I was in such a pissy mood, I was a total bitch with him when I sent him back his stories 1/4 edited and told him he had tons of work to do on them because they were absolutely crappy and if he wanted me to work on them he needed to work on it before I even thought of looking at it again.

Wanna hear what he wrote back? He thanked me!!! Yeah, he thanked me for being honest and not sugarcoating my opinion of his work. He thanked me for giving it to him straight and showing him what he had to do and how he had to do it.

THAT, ladies and gentlemen is the reason why I became an editor. Not for the acknowledgments, not for the awards, not for the money (well okay maybe because the money is good ) but because I knew there was people out there who I could help and who would accept my help.

 

[kbate]

Wanna hear what he wrote back? He thanked me!!! Yeah, he thanked me for being honest and not sugarcoating my opinion of his work. He thanked me for giving it to him.

Oh sure, you get thank yous. I get, "what, was red ink on sale?"

 

[LadyCibelle]

Oh sure, you get thank yous. I get, "what, was red ink on sale?"

Lollll I get a whole lot of those too. But, this particular writer really surprised me as I wasn't expecting him to write back...or at least not to be so "nice" about my saying all those awful things about his stories.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

It's not a pet peeve, but it makes me laugh ... and sometimes shake my head. I have been known to hold my ground when it comes to a word is being used inappropriately. In some cases, someone has gone through the thesaurus and found a synonym to replace a word, but the actual meaning of that synonym is slightly different and changes the context of the sentence or just doesn't fit. In others, a person just likes the sound of the word ... the hell with the meaning. Like I said ... it makes me shake my head at times.

LURID.

 

[RogueLurker]

LURID.

I stand by my original opinion: Unless you are pushing someone's face into a bubbling vat of grease, then there is nothing that would cause shock or horror.

*shaking head again*

 

[RogueLurker]

Oh shit! Bitch!

Wait... I have ten thousand words finished to add between the prologue and the start of chapter 1....

Okay ... let's see who's next ...

 

[Angel Love]

I had one guy send me his story. I worked THREE hours on editing the story and finally sent it back with a very very long list of things that I had done for him along with links to writer's resources that would help him and examples of his sentences or dialogue that were wrong and the revised ones. I went the whole gambit for this guy.

About two weeks later I get an emal from him saying thanks for nothing angel. He cussed me out using the *F* word and all. He said he had submitted the story and it was rejected and it was all my fault. He claimed that I had never done a single thing to his story and simply had returned it in its original state.

So of course, I first of all, had to go back into my archives and fish out his story. I found the original and my edited versions. I looked them over with a fine tooth comb and could not find ONE thing wrong with the edited version. So I wrote back to him and told him. I also told him that I had spent a great deal of time on his work. I reminded him that I do this out of the goodness of my heart to help authors better their work. I mentioned that if he want to try to ruin me with Lit like he had threatened and if he wanted to report me and have me taken off of the editor's list, then good luck to him.

I also forwarded him the email that I had originally sent him with the edited version in it. Well two days later this is what I got back from him:

Angel,
I don't know what to say, but sorry again! One for upsetting you, and making you cry. Two for not noticing the paper clip next to (Re: Literotica Editor Program Message). I didn't realize what it was for, I've attached things before, and never once had a paper clip next to the subject line. Its always looked something like (photo 1 photo 2, or had the name in the attachment field) I feel like such a asshole, and hope you can forgive me! I was looking for the printed story, or something that indicated my story, not a paper clip.
I actully attached a letter and sent it to my other e-mail address to see what it looked like, then I knew what the paper clip was for.
So that must have been the original story in my hold box, and I submitted it twice like a idiot. I'm so sorry for putting you through all of this. After all of this if you want me to run the CORRECT story, I will. If you want me to shove it in my ass...I'll bring it up on the monitor, and try to cram the whole thing up there for you! I'm so sorry for not knowing what the paper clip was.

I had to chuckle at this and wrote him back saying no harm done . . . sometimes I'm just too nice for my own good . . . lol.

I guess we all have our little horror stories and our little chuckle stories. Thank you for letting me share mine with you . . .