Perverts of the British Commonwealth

[angelofthenorth]

Actually, I am very grateful to hear that. Thanks! Even out and about, I've been feeling rather invisible lately. Invisible or unappealing: I'm not sure which, but I'm starting to fear the worst.
.

Sometimes it's not a bad thing to be invisible, or standing on the sidelines sometimes. I've learnt a lot about people who fess to be "supportive" to "their friends " and all I can say I'm glad I'm not their friend. Some are just nauseating. People watching is an education in itself. Just saying eek:who said that......looking round !!)

Morning all a bit nip and tuck out there.

 

[newhere2learn]

Sometimes it's not a bad thing to be invisible, or standing on the sidelines sometimes. I've learnt a lot about people who fess to be "supportive" to "their friends " and all I can say I'm glad I'm not their friend. Some are just nauseating. People watching is an education in itself. Just saying eek:who said that......looking round !!)

Morning all a bit nip and tuck out there.

Motion seconded luv, I'm more than happy to be in the background, people watching.

I do it at work, equally can sit in meadowhall or such, coffee in hand just observing, learning.


Human behaviour and culture fascinates me and appalls me in equal measure

 

[Pantyboy74]

Motion seconded luv, I'm more than happy to be in the background, people watching.

I do it at work, equally can sit in meadowhall or such, coffee in hand just observing, learning.


Human behaviour and culture fascinates me and appalls me in equal measure

Meadowhell, thats my haunt.

Morning sis BTW.

 

[angelofthenorth]

Meadowhell, thats my haunt.

Morning sis BTW.

Hey baby boy, how are you on this cold and frosty day?

 

[Pantyboy74]

Hey baby boy, how are you on this cold and frosty day?

I am good thanks sis.
Ive got all my girls surrounding me and looking after me.
Xxx

 

[angelofthenorth]

I am good thanks sis.
Ive got all my girls surrounding me and looking after me.
Xxx

thats fabulous. i hope they give you nowt but cheek

 

[Pantyboy74]

thats fabulous. i hope they give you nowt but cheek

Well one is. You

 

[Sienna]

Good day to you fellow Brit Commonwealth pervies

 

[Mindfondler]

Neither of those things, MF - you (and your good lady) are very much valued here...

Sometimes it's not a bad thing to be invisible, or standing on the sidelines sometimes. I've learnt a lot about people who fess to be "supportive" to "their friends " and all I can say I'm glad I'm not their friend. Some are just nauseating. People watching is an education in itself. Just saying eek:who said that......looking round !!)

Motion seconded luv, I'm more than happy to be in the background, people watching.

I do it at work, equally can sit in meadowhall or such, coffee in hand just observing, learning.

Human behaviour and culture fascinates me and appalls me in equal measure

Thanks, everyone. I'm talking about real life as much as online. My hypothesis is that I often get overlooked because I'm seen by people as irrelevant to them, as an older married guy with a fairly stable lifestyle. What could I possibly have to offer compared to a younger single "go get 'em" sort of guy? Often, I think I'm not given any chance at all to shift that tramline thinking.

Tinglebliss have had the conversation about his things might be different if we weren't married. We're both unhappy about being treated as a one-dimensional unexciting blob of a couple rather than as individuals with separate needs, passions and desires. We're not contemplating changing anything, but it's an interesting thought experiment for us to consider how shallow people seem to be and how perceptions of the two of us might be altered radically without either of us changing at all as individuals if we just declared ourselves to be single instead.
.

 

[suckonsimon]

Thanks, everyone. I'm talking about real life as much as online. My hypothesis is that I often get overlooked because I'm seen by people as irrelevant to them, as an older married guy with a fairly stable lifestyle. What could I possibly have to offer compared to a younger single "go get 'em" sort of guy? Often, I think I'm not given any chance at all to shift that tramline thinking.

Tinglebliss have had the conversation about his things might be different if we weren't married. We're both unhappy about being treated as a one-dimensional unexciting blob of a couple rather than as individuals with separate needs, passions and desires. We're not contemplating changing anything, but it's an interesting thought experiment for us to consider how shallow people seem to be and how perceptions of the two of us might be altered radically without either of us changing at all as individuals if we just declared ourselves to be single instead.
.

Let me suggest that the folk who are really, really worth connecting with are the folk who will see you each as unique individuals with an array of talent and beauty, and a life-story like no-one else's. Those others who will simply categorise you - how much is lost if they see you as irrelevant? I would say not a lot. Just my first thoughts on a deep issue mate.

 

[angelofthenorth]

Let me suggest that the folk who are really, really worth connecting with are the folk who will see you each as unique individuals with an array of talent and beauty, and a life-story like no-one else's. Those others who will simply categorise you - how much is lost if they see you as irrelevant? I would say not a lot. Just my first thoughts on a deep issue mate.

Quite right Simon, the people that you mean anything to, you are important to, will never see either of you as anything another that interesting, fascinating, beautiful and far far from irrelevant. But that's just me.

 

[LucyCanyon]

Neither of those things, MF - you (and your good lady) are very much valued here...

Hi, arrived late as usual, this work stuff.. but read this and thought wtf!!

MF, tingle, am sorry you felt that way and am hoping the thread-posters and pervy people have done their best to convince you of the complete opposite to your thinking - hugely valued!

This is a great place for all to vent and share and explore without fear of judgement or comment - who am I to talk given my interest - so I hope you both keep popping back on here often!!

 

[tinglebliss]

Tinglebliss have had the conversation about his things might be different if we weren't married. We're both unhappy about being treated as a one-dimensional unexciting blob of a couple rather than as individuals with separate needs, passions and desires. We're not contemplating changing anything, but it's an interesting thought experiment for us to consider how shallow people seem to be and how perceptions of the two of us might be altered radically without either of us changing at all as individuals if we just declared ourselves to be single instead.
.

I'm a person that has been in the shadows in my earlier life. People seemed to be unsure if to come and say hi to me. When they did, they got a surprise! Partly I was shy and didn't get the chance to shine.

MF has helped give me confidence and I have done the same for him. We also need to gain confidence from outsiders, especially in the kink scene. We see newbies arrive and chat to others and then a few weeks later they have people playing with them. That hasn't worked for us even though we try to be friendly to everyone. I think they rule us out just because we're married.
When I get to play with an electric violet wand, I encourage other people to try and see if they like it. That goes down well (MF says that I should be a sales demo bunny) but nobody comes back to us.

At times, we question whether it's good to be married in this scene. I know that if I advertise for a sub there will be lots of replies from guys asking to lick my boots, which I don't want (has happened before!). I want meaningful connections and conversation as well as play! So does MF.

 

[StrangeView]

I'm a person that has been in the shadows in my earlier life. People seemed to be unsure if to come and say hi to me. When they did, they got a surprise! Partly I was shy and didn't get the chance to shine.

MF has helped give me confidence and I have done the same for him. We also need to gain confidence from outsiders, especially in the kink scene. We see newbies arrive and chat to others and then a few weeks later they have people playing with them. That hasn't worked for us even though we try to be friendly to everyone. I think they rule us out just because we're married.
When I get to play with an electric violet wand, I encourage other people to try and see if they like it. That goes down well (MF says that I should be a sales demo bunny) but nobody comes back to us.

At times, we question whether it's good to be married in this scene. I know that if I advertise for a sub there will be lots of replies from guys asking to lick my boots, which I don't want (has happened before!). I want meaningful connections and conversation as well as play! So does MF.

I remember you guys way back when on the UK Kink thread (think you were new to it all? I wasn't exactly an old hand!), you were sound, honest people then, and you still are now. It's been amazing to watch you grow in confidence and become the people you are. Don't you go changing to please anyone else, you're fantastic the way you are, and if distance wasn't so great, I wouldn't hesitate to make your acquaintance

Take care you two, you'll find what you're looking for.

 

[Mindfondler]

Let me suggest that the folk who are really, really worth connecting with are the folk who will see you each as unique individuals with an array of talent and beauty, and a life-story like no-one else's. Those others who will simply categorise you - how much is lost if they see you as irrelevant? I would say not a lot. Just my first thoughts on a deep issue mate.

Quite right Simon, the people that you mean anything to, you are important to, will never see either of you as anything another that interesting, fascinating, beautiful and far far from irrelevant. But that's just me.

Hi, arrived late as usual, this work stuff.. but read this and thought wtf!!

MF, tingle, am sorry you felt that way and am hoping the thread-posters and pervy people have done their best to convince you of the complete opposite to your thinking - hugely valued!

This is a great place for all to vent and share and explore without fear of judgement or comment - who am I to talk given my interest - so I hope you both keep popping back on here often!!

Again, thanks all! I appreciate your words, but I'm okay — the point that I'm trying to make here is a different and much broader one.

It's about conformity, norms and control. The institutions of society have a vested interest in conditioning people to swallow simplistic notions, because that keeps them from straying. The tranquiliser pill that I'm trying to unpick here is the dogma that married couples are supposed to form a self-sufficient bubble, meeting all of each other's needs, and therefore need to be kept at a distance by others. That's very convenient for keeping society in order (and, incidentally, enabling abuses), but it's not particularly helpful to individuals who want to express themselves as... individuals.

Tinglebliss has explained her own feelings above — it's a view that we both share that by being married, we've made ourselves invisible to people seeking new connections. We're specifically looking for kinky play partners beyond our marriage — that's our choice. I think we're both more than capable of forming meaningful and rewarding new relationships with other people out there — but we just don't get the chance to explore that because we're ruled out as potential options before we even start.

I would have liked to imagine that people would be able to see beyond these conventions that are deliberately there to box them in, but I see no evidence of that. In fact, it seems to me that there's something of a retreat towards the apparent safety of arbitrary "rules". Oddly, we've been finding that the kink community itself, which one might imagine to be inclusive and non-judgemental, contains some of the worst perpetrators of "black and white" thinking that I've every encountered.

That's a bit of a rant, isn't it? Does anyone else see the point that I'm trying to make, though?
.

 

[angelofthenorth]

morning all
positive vibes only today, my first day back at work !!!

 

[LucyCanyon]

Again, thanks all! I appreciate your words, but I'm okay — the point that I'm trying to make here is a different and much broader one.

It's about conformity, norms and control. The institutions of society have a vested interest in conditioning people to swallow simplistic notions, because that keeps them from straying. The tranquiliser pill that I'm trying to unpick here is the dogma that married couples are supposed to form a self-sufficient bubble, meeting all of each other's needs, and therefore need to be kept at a distance by others. That's very convenient for keeping society in order (and, incidentally, enabling abuses), but it's not particularly helpful to individuals who want to express themselves as... individuals.

Tinglebliss has explained her own feelings above — it's a view that we both share that by being married, we've made ourselves invisible to people seeking new connections. We're specifically looking for kinky play partners beyond our marriage — that's our choice. I think we're both more than capable of forming meaningful and rewarding new relationships with other people out there — but we just don't get the chance to explore that because we're ruled out as potential options before we even start.

I would have liked to imagine that people would be able to see beyond these conventions that are deliberately there to box them in, but I see no evidence of that. In fact, it seems to me that there's something of a retreat towards the apparent safety of arbitrary "rules". Oddly, we've been finding that the kink community itself, which one might imagine to be inclusive and non-judgemental, contains some of the worst perpetrators of "black and white" thinking that I've every encountered.

That's a bit of a rant, isn't it? Does anyone else see the point that I'm trying to make, though?
.

Hi MF and yes, agree with the entirety of your post. The bubble that marriage is presented as is so unrealistic for some people - but not all and some want and thrive within that bubble. The issue is how those, like yourselves, that want to extend outside, to change the dynamic and to view life in a different but equally valid way, can do so without the sneering and calls of foul play when you do.

I am seeking to extend my boundaries, though not using this site specifically to do so, and given one of my interests is declared as cross dressing, it’s amazing how I am blanked by so many. There is oft expressed disbelief that I can enjoy such items of clothing and yet be straight... it doesn’t compute for most people so I am ignored...

You will find some folk, they are there, as after a long time I have gained some meaningful, mutually supportive understanding contacts that may develop beyond the email sphere. What you two do and want to do is not unusual in my limited experience, and I am surprised you have not found a play partner - pm me, xx

Seriously good conversation to share here, if not here then where else could you do that??

Lx

 

[StrangeView]

A very wise man once said to me, "It's a hard road, and we only travel it once; make sure the journey was worthwhile."

 

[Hornblende]

<snip>

I am seeking to extend my boundaries, though not using this site specifically to do so, and given one of my interests is declared as cross dressing, it’s amazing how I am blanked by so many. There is oft expressed disbelief that I can enjoy such items of clothing and yet be straight... it doesn’t compute for most people so I am ignored...

</snip>

Lx

Lucy, how sad to hear that some people on this site blank you. This, of all sites, should surely celebrate the huge diversity of human sexuality.

 

[Femme_Fatale_UK]

Morning everyone

 

[StrangeView]

Morning everyone

Hey Femme, where you bin? Missed you being around lady

 

[LucyCanyon]

Lucy, how sad to hear that some people on this site blank you. This, of all sites, should surely celebrate the huge diversity of human sexuality.

HB, thanks, and it’s not just on this site but on others that are there to encourage people with less common interests, so to speak, to get in touch, share, chat etc...

However, this site has given me the worst pms of them all

 

[angelofthenorth]

woo hooo!!!!

home !! survived the first day back at the desk job.

afternoon all
Lucy tell me who's been givin ya shit and i'll go duff 'em up behind the bike sheds!

 

[Mindfondler]

I remember you guys way back when on the UK Kink thread (think you were new to it all? I wasn't exactly an old hand!), you were sound, honest people then, and you still are now. It's been amazing to watch you grow in confidence and become the people you are. Don't you go changing to please anyone else, you're fantastic the way you are, and if distance wasn't so great, I wouldn't hesitate to make your acquaintance

Take care you two, you'll find what you're looking for.

Thank you for your kind words. Sorry that I was busy typing my essay while you were making your posting, so that I didn't notice it straight away.

Hi MF and yes, agree with the entirety of your post. The bubble that marriage is presented as is so unrealistic for some people - but not all and some want and thrive within that bubble. The issue is how those, like yourselves, that want to extend outside, to change the dynamic and to view life in a different but equally valid way, can do so without the sneering and calls of foul play when you do.

Exactly! Tinglebliss and I have done what should be the hard work of talking in depth about our respective drives and agreeing that there are some desirable experiences that we will need to seek more widely. I don't believe that we deserve sneering, calls of foul play or (more commonly) blanking for that.

I am seeking to extend my boundaries, though not using this site specifically to do so, and given one of my interests is declared as cross dressing, it’s amazing how I am blanked by so many. There is oft expressed disbelief that I can enjoy such items of clothing and yet be straight... it doesn’t compute for most people so I am ignored...

I'm not surprised, unfortunately. When Tinglebliss and I entered the scene and encountered cross-dressing guys for the first time, we assumed naïvely that it was exclusively a form of gay expression. We talked and we listened, though, and we quickly found out differently. We're now great friends with two cross-dressers in the local scene and we both regularly help them out with awkward obstacles such as hard-to-reach zips, tight-fitting corsets (I'm good at dealing with those!) and dresses that require one to be a contortionist to take on or off. We've learnt a great deal from both, and we've discovered the richness of rewards that accrue from being open-minded and receptive to a diversity of people.

You will find some folk, they are there, as after a long time I have gained some meaningful, mutually supportive understanding contacts that may develop beyond the email sphere. What you two do and want to do is not unusual in my limited experience, and I am surprised you have not found a play partner - pm me, xx

We'll aim to meet soon and chew the fat over some mugs of tea (or, if we can find a better place, chew something more tasty than fat). I think it'll be fun.
.

 

[Femme_Fatale_UK]

Hey Femme, where you bin? Missed you being around lady

Ahh thanks Strange missed you too. Works been busy, Christmas was busy & now have man flu