Perverted Magician must complete quest

[Strangebuddy]

I don't really play tabletop RPGs but a lot of the books and supplemental materials fascinate me...and of course, there are materials for D&D which discuss sex and, naturally, feats and abilities related to sex. Really, I've never heard of someone who tried to seriously play using those abilities...but it got me thinking.

What if there was a magician or wizard who said to hell with any conventionally useful spells and spent most of his time learning sex magic. The guy or gal is an utter embarrassment to his order, so they team up and put a curse on him so he can't learn any new magic. The main character wouldn't mind this but they're set to graduate and have to complete a great quest to be allowed to practice magic outside of the school. If he/she refuses to go on the quest or tries to abandon it, then his/her powers will be stripped and they will live as an outcast.

So, with nothing but a ton of sex-magics at his/her disposal, the magic user must somehow complete a great quest if they want to graduate and have the curse removed.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

This reeks of Harry Potter, because of the "no practicing magic until you graduate" factor. I'm not a fan of sexualizing Harry Potter but let's face it, it's out there.

Here are the problems I see:

1. They curse him so he can't learn new magic? If they don't like him why not just kick him out of school and tell him if they catch him casting another spell ever again they'll make him demon food? You could say the hex was done in secret by jealous rivals, not by the school, but come on, in a universe with young wizards, that hex is already old hat and the school witch doctor knows how to remove it in his sleep.

2. Why would anyone ignore all magic but sex magic? I mean, yes, sex is awesome, but so is being able to fly. Or go invisible. Or erasing the memory of the person you just screwed. Or a billion other wish fulfillment abilities.

3. If he's spent all that time learning sex magic, he's clearly been using it. In your Harry Potter-like setting, you bang straight into the underage rule (and every story ever containing sex with an underage Emma Watson.)

I think there's too much disbelief to suspend here. It could be done, but it would take a lot of world construction to make it "believable". I do a lot with (non-erotic) fantasy and I wouldn't try this one myself.

But if you're just after a stroker and believability doesn't matter, it's no more ridiculous than a lot of what's already on Lit. And at least it's not incest.

For the record, I don't think sex magic works very well. I've never seen it be convincingly erotic in a story. I tried something like it with psionics in my Toymaker, and 1) it only had impact because the guy doing it was a cruel bastard, so the story impact came from his hate and 2) everyone (as I intended) hated the main character. Ratings were only ok, not better.

To make it interesting, make the main character female. Her sex magic will involve her actually having sex, probably with people she doesn't like, so her quest will actually cost her, emotionally. (Quests should always have a cost). The school could actually and secretly be allowing her to complete her quest this way just so she learns that "sex isn't everything, in fact sometimes it kind of sucks."

 

[Hypoxia]

I first read the thread title as Perverted Musician must complete quest and I thought, "There are so many to choose from."

Interesting idea although I know diddly about RPGs. (I wrote screen-oriented board-type games.) The sex-mage's Grand Quest must be equivalent to the conventional candidates but to attain it he must use his limited sex-magic rather than standard enchantments. Thus he must be quite ingenious.

Here's where my RPG ignorance trips me up. What are appropriate Grand Quests for fledgling wizards? One that occurs to me comes from Small Faces' album OGDEN'S NUT GONE FLAKE with Happiness Stan's search for the other half of the moon. Or maybe the twelve deeds of Hercules -- how many stations in a wizard-trainee's quest?

The quest is only the McGuffin, of course; it's an excuse for many weird encounters along the way. Just another road trip...

BTW why is your magician 'perverted'? Just because he's more interested in sex than in academy-level magic? I'd say celibate wizards are the pervs. But of course they gang-up against him and apply the label. They're almost as bad a political commentators.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Oh look1 Something I'm abnormally knowledgable about. Not the Harry Potter, I know very little there but the DnD part and fantasy settings.

@Hands in the dark

1. Any number of reasons really. The easy answers are various chosen ones. You can't kill him because that NEVER works. Gods are enormous douches. Maybe he's important and keeping him from doing stupid shit was a goal. I read a fanfic that theorized that Sasuke and Naruto were intentionally given to Kakashi because nobody had EVER passed his initial test to be trained. They fail and remain forever safe inside the city instead of going out on missions and getting horribly horribly murdered or worse. Frankly it would have been a sound plan.

2. There is no definition of sex magic so who knows why one would specialize in it? It wouldn't take much twisting of traditional DND skill sets to make a sex witch who passes her curses and blessings and charms via sex. Anybody you've boned is your slave for X hours, or gets super strength, or you absorb their powers (though thematically that's more a female ability than a male for obvious symbolic reasons.) At the very least this merits exploration more so than dismissal.

3. First enough Harry Potter fans have come into correct the ages so it doesn't hit the age rule with Harry Potter if you choose for it not to. I have not read the books but it seems the actual fans are generally united that by the end everybody is of age.

More importantly it's not Harry Potter, you cannot age up characters it's true. But once you abandon the Harry Potter tm and just make a universe that happens to superficially resemble Harry Potter all bets are off so that's not a barrier at all.

@Self friend Hypoxia

There is no such thing as an appropriate quest from a story standpoint not a game balance standpoint. If you're talking a game then an appropriate quest is go get the blacksmiths daughter back from the local bandits. It's not that someone else couldn't do it and be back by noon it's that people who could have better things to do with their lives than rescue blue collar workers daughters. From a story standpoint though anything. I personally think the best ones are the quests that cascade into something bigger. For example.

I once had a character who's village was destroyed by a plague and he went out to find a cure. Turns out the disease was a bioweapon made by a lich. And the lich happened to be part of a plan by a banished god to tip the balance. Worse (for the world) he was fairly evil and only really cared about the world in respect to his vengeance against the lich.

For something like this I see maybe four easy answers.

1. The quest is a snipe hunt. They send him looking for the Keys to the Internet, a can of A.I.R. or some other thing that simply doesn't exist and the purpose is just to be rid of him. If you're familar with Avatar, Zuko was sent on a snipe hunt. Regardless of the fact that the Avatar DID show the point of the quest was to get rid of him.

2. It's a Uriah gambit. Blah blah Bible. The important part is that you give someone you don't like an absurdly dangerous quest. If they win AWESOME! You really did want the giants in the forest gone. If he dies AWESOME! That's why you sent that obnoxious prat.

3. It's honestly to help him. Kinda boring but makes the other characters less evil.

4. IT's personal and not directly related to the people who cursed him. In modern fiction it's rare. We like neat little packages (I'm pretty bad to be honest) where everything makes sense. Compare and contrast 2014 Ninja Turtles where April owned the Turtles as a child, was the daughter of the man who made the ooze and her father was killed by Shredder who was also in on the science (mostly) and knew what the turtles were vs 1989 Turtles. Where the Turtles colliding with Shredder was almost entirely random. Either party could have moved one city over and no story.

 

[Hypoxia]

2. There is no definition of sex magic so who knows why one would specialize in it?

IIRC Alasteir Crowley defined sex magick. We could use his writings as a base.

One visualization: I recall a short film at the Mitchell Brothers' theatre long ago. An ordinary couple engaged in a tantric fuck. The filmmaker scratched the emulsion on every frame so an expanding spark of light grew from their joining. The orgasm was a flash. Very mystical.

There is no such thing as an appropriate quest from a story standpoint not a game balance standpoint.

Again, since these specific quests are students' graduation exercises (as specified by the OP) they must be equivalent for all candidates. No favoritism, no snipe hunts, merely immense difficulties. Ascend unclimbable cliffs to gather mystic gems / feathers / amulets guarded by nasties. Delve into hidden, buried chambers to retrieve certain secrets. Stuff like that, accomplished with all the skills the students have learned. How does our sex-mage exploit their powers?

 

[Sean Renaud]

Isn't Crowley (or wasn't more accurately) a bloody atheist who basically glommed onto satanic visuals primarily because it pissed off Christians but also because Satan represented freedom in that mythology?

Still good call on how to go about it.

Not that I truly agree with your assessment that all the tests must be equal, a corrupt council shoots that to hell instantly. Working within those confines it stands to reason that the quests are either A) a group exercise a'la Naruto. The reason being not all mages/ninja are created equal. Your fucking happy as fuck when you're trapped in the Arctic with the wizard who can make igloos and food, or in the Sahara with the guy who gives resistence to sunburn and create water but he's fucked in a fight with a standard goblin. Hence you break into teams and the quest something bigger. Collect wyvern eggs from the mountain. You need someone who has the ability to scry things, someone who can keep you alive and someone who can fight. Or insert a real life scenario where you'd want one navy seal, one carpenter and one scientist.

On the other end you could say that the tests are tailored to your skill set. Let's jump to WWII for a minute. A Jewish wizard who could shape shift into a Nordic Beauty, can make men tell her things they should via a combination of magic charm and physical charms and get her messages out to the Resistance or Allies might have a series of appropriate tests. She is neither good for anything in direct combat NOR is she expected to be.

 

[Strangebuddy]

another way I guess this story could take is that the magician knows other spells but he's made to forget them before the test. So now he can only use cantrips...or at least, until he/she jokingly casts an orgasm spell and it works. Turns out, the artifact the people who ambushed him/her with blocked him from remembering how to recast any spells that they knew.

Our main character however kept it a secret that he/she had mastered the arcane erotic spells. If the character succeeds, then he/she can also have their memorized spells returned to him/her.

A couple plots I had were:

The magician finds a kingdom that is having troubles with a group of orcs. The two sides want to settle things with a duel to the death between their best warriors but it's clear that which ever fighter loses, both sides will start a war. The magician decides to sabotage the duel. Polymorphing one fighter's breasts and increasing their size so her plate mail can't fit, while making the other fighter has their sensitivity raised so they're too arousedfrom the feel of their armor and cloth.

The fighters decide to fight in the nude. The magician then sabotages their weapons.

They decide to fight bare-handed.

The magician conjures a pool of warm oil. The fighters try wrestling but as they slide around with each other, they lose the will to fight and start fucking.


Another idea:

A huge ancient dragon has awoken, threatening an entire continent. The magician finds a town that will be attacked and orders it to make a giant dragon facsimile with a hole at its base. The magician manages to sneak up to the dragon And hit it with an intense arousal spell, anchoring it to the fake dragon. The dragon then proceeds to fuck the dragon sex doll until it is too tired and decides to go back to sleep. On the one hand, the magician saves the town and possibly millions of more lives. On the other hand, everybody just saw a giant dragon mate with a pile of mud and nobody wants to let the truth get out due to the embarrassment.

 

[Carnevil9]

You all recall Cugel the Clever, right, from the Dying Earth stories of Jack Vance? Cugel was zapped across the globe to a remote desert by a vengeful sorcerer, with only a few magic trinkets to help him in his quest to get back home. But what if they had been sex-magic trinkets? That would have lent a decidedly saucier style to the story. Or he could be an actual sex magician himself, using his own innate powers in his sojourn homeward.

 

[Hypoxia]

Or, a face-off between masters / mistresses of different schools of magic to determine who / which is strongest. The contenders:

* The darkest black magic, raising dead spirits
* The cleanest white magic, invoking life forces
* The lustiest sex-magic, channeling orgone energy
* The crudest physical magic of earth-wind-fire-water

Which wizards will prevail? Let's have a pair or triad for each school. The kicker is that the sex-mages fuck all the others and thus soak up their energies. But the black-mages try to kill the others, the white-mages try to enoble the others, the physical-mages try to overwhelm the others. It's a tough contest.